Eye Yai Yai...

July 10, 2007 4:48 PM

Eyeball Tattoos (nsfw, via)
posted by bardic (129 comments total)

Double vision.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 4:50 PM on July 10, 2007

Arent these the guys who have a yearly hoax? with the famous guy with three arms?
posted by damn dirty ape at 4:50 PM on July 10, 2007

The spice must flow.
posted by kanemano at 4:54 PM on July 10, 2007

I'd tattoo a test pattern just to keep my self soothed all day.
posted by jonmc at 4:55 PM on July 10, 2007

Sing along, everybody!
posted by wendell at 4:57 PM on July 10, 2007

No. No, no, no no, no!
posted by Brittanie at 4:58 PM on July 10, 2007

Just yesterday I was reading this thread on the Straight Dope about papercuts in eyeballs and fishhooks on eyelids and got the full on squeamish heebie jeebies. I think the universe is telling me to wear safety goggles at all times.
posted by hindmost at 5:02 PM on July 10, 2007

I DO NOT APPROVE.
posted by eyeballkid at 5:05 PM on July 10, 2007 [8 favorites has favorites]

True story: When I was eight years old I caught my brother in the eye with a fishing lure. All I remember was tugging on it. Not sure how they got it out.
posted by Big_B at 5:07 PM on July 10, 2007

Countdown until eeball tattoos are coming for your teens on network news. 5...4...3...2...
posted by Navelgazer at 5:14 PM on July 10, 2007

My take at age 34: Um, yowch. [shudder] G'luck with that.

My take at age 14: Oh, thankgodthankgodthankgodthankgod! [Furtively starts saving up money for procedure by stashing fives in well-worn copy of The Dune Encyclopedia.]
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 5:15 PM on July 10, 2007

Paging snopes...
posted by Deathalicious at 5:22 PM on July 10, 2007

do not want.
posted by tristeza at 5:24 PM on July 10, 2007

just because you can doesn't mean you should.
posted by dogwalker at 5:33 PM on July 10, 2007

I think the universe is telling me to wear safety goggles at all times.

Know who else wore safety googles?
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:33 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Along with the inside of my urethra, the surface of the cornea comes low on my list of preferred tattooing canvases: a sneeze, a static shock, a spastic twitch, a full-on epileptic seizure.

The 2nd half of that sentence conveys my reaction to the 1st.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 5:40 PM on July 10, 2007

Oh, it's definitely real -- it's on me.
100% fine, no problems at all, medically safer than a lot of what goes on in the body modification world, and with strong historical and current basis.

Still, it was pretty terrifying to do.
posted by glider at 5:42 PM on July 10, 2007 [8 favorites has favorites]

damn dirty ape:

I'm inclined to beleive, based upon the copious follow-up posts on (Metafilter's own) Shannon's blogs that this is very much for real. Plus its been like, 3 years since he's actually done an april's fools hoax.

That said, I doubt I would ever get something like this done. Ditto for a tattoo on the bottom of my foot. Two places that make me squirm in pain just thinking about needles coming near.

more pictures of the results here and here
posted by grandsham at 5:45 PM on July 10, 2007

"Know who else wore safety googles?"

Bob Vila.

That's right, Bob Fucking Vila.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 5:50 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Norm Abram, too.
posted by jonmc at 5:55 PM on July 10, 2007

gross
posted by mattoxic at 6:08 PM on July 10, 2007

"Know who else wore safety googles?"

Radioactive Man.
posted by puke & cry at 6:09 PM on July 10, 2007

At the bmezine.com wiki (found via the second link in the FPP): Eyeball Tattooing.
posted by ericb at 6:10 PM on July 10, 2007

Know who else wore safety googles?

I used to, but they did nothing...
posted by blind.wombat at 6:11 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

just a few years before i can patent my genome and rent it out.
posted by mr_book at 6:13 PM on July 10, 2007

If you listen carefully, you can probably hear me screaming in the distance as I run for the hills.

Needles + eyeballs + excruciatingly slow + nutty dangerous: Super combo! Welcome to the secret You Lost Your Lunch level!
posted by Iosephus at 6:50 PM on July 10, 2007

My eyes hurt now.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:54 PM on July 10, 2007

Heh, I bet everyone who does this gets blue to portray that "spice-chic" style that's all the rage with the teens.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 7:03 PM on July 10, 2007

This is an open and shut case for me of nope and eww.
posted by inconsequentialist at 7:20 PM on July 10, 2007

I'm not sure how I'd react if I saw that in person. It would be hard to hide the look of shock on my face (although they'd most likely be used to that reaction).
posted by spiderskull at 7:22 PM on July 10, 2007

interesting, wouldn't do it myself but interesting, er how is it nsfw?
posted by edgeways at 7:34 PM on July 10, 2007

Every day brings a brand new thing I will never do.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:35 PM on July 10, 2007

reminds me the dye spots that are on easter eggs when you take the shell off. Actually, it looks basically the same.
posted by puke & cry at 7:43 PM on July 10, 2007

As a teenaged Dune zealot, I remember wanting Fremen-style blue-on-blue eyes. Badly.

I was horrified when I saw the effect they used in David Lynch's Dune. The color was all wrong. The novel clearly described the "Eyes of Ibad" as being a very dark blue, almost to the point of being black. Yet in the movie, the Fremen had eyes that struck me as being lightly Smurf colored.

After the fact, I guessed it has been some combination of the difficulty of the effect and the necessity to be able to see facial expressions better in the movie (which also caused them to leave the stillsuit facial areas entirely open).

I was a pedantic little Dunie then, ayuh.
posted by John Smallberries at 7:44 PM on July 10, 2007

And I always wanted mirrored contacts.

Though someone mentioned tattoos on the feet. On the feet and palms, I have to admit, I think could be very cool. Perhaps worth the agony. Perhaps.

This otoh blows me away. What will be next? What will the tenth thing be after that?
posted by dreamsign at 7:47 PM on July 10, 2007

Well, if something goes wrong, you can have this fellow make you a new eye, and he can tart it up any way you like.
posted by louche mustachio at 7:53 PM on July 10, 2007

I was horrified when I saw the effect they used in David Lynch's Dune. The color was all wrong. The novel clearly described... a very dark blue, almost to the point of being black. Yet in the movie, the Fremen had eyes that struck me as being lightly Smurf colored.

I hear De Laurentis got the contact lenses made by the same dudes who manufactured the MeFi t-shirts.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:13 PM on July 10, 2007 [5 favorites has favorites]

fuck off no
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:38 PM on July 10, 2007

hindmost writes 'Just yesterday I was reading this thread on the Straight Dope about papercuts in eyeballs and fishhooks on eyelids and got the full on squeamish heebie jeebies.'

hindmost, your post reminded me of that old radical feminist poem/graffiti (not sure which).

Him and I fit together like a hook and eye.
A fish hook.
An eye ball.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:52 PM on July 10, 2007

God damn.
posted by dazed_one at 8:53 PM on July 10, 2007

I used to think I was pretty open minded. After browsing through the rest of the body mod site, you know, fuck that. (NSFW, not safe at ALL)
posted by Liosliath at 8:57 PM on July 10, 2007

Along the same lines, my wife has a platinum star implant in her eye...
posted by glider at 9:12 PM on July 10, 2007

Yeah, the genital mutilation is pretty disgusting. Case in point. (nsfw, obv)
posted by puke & cry at 9:14 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Him and I fit together like a hook and eye.
A fish hook.
An eye ball.

That's a slight paraphrase of a poem by Margaret Atwood, godmother of emo:

You fit into me
like a hook into an eye

a fish hook
an open eye

It's sad that her contract with Hallmark never panned out.

Topic? OMFGNO! EYES. You get TWO, no more. Why risk them for something like this?
posted by maudlin at 9:26 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Peter McDermott:

it's an untitled poem by Margaret Atwood:


you fit into me

like a hook into an eye



a fish hook

an open eye
posted by exlotuseater at 9:29 PM on July 10, 2007

DAMN YOU, TINY PREVIEW BUTTON!
posted by exlotuseater at 9:30 PM on July 10, 2007

I just had my glassies brushed down by a belt sander. All the kids are doing it.
posted by nola at 9:40 PM on July 10, 2007

Sorry, exlotuseater. I was in a rush to look up and post anything at all to distract me from puke & cry's calamari money shot. (DO NOT CLICK. AM NOT KIDDING.)
posted by maudlin at 9:50 PM on July 10, 2007

Glider probably knows that guy.
posted by puke & cry at 10:23 PM on July 10, 2007

Cool.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:23 PM on July 10, 2007

Case in point.

"Stay tuned for scenes from next week's episode of 'The Cum of Cthulhu'... "
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 10:27 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

You know, the blue eye procedure didn't bother me. In fact nothing bothered me...

...until I clicked puke & cry's link.

WHAT.
THE.
FUCK.
PUKE & CRY?
posted by daninnj at 10:28 PM on July 10, 2007

In fact that link wants to make me puke and cry, how fitting.
posted by daninnj at 10:30 PM on July 10, 2007

puke/cry - I do know that guy. He's been a friend for almost a decade now I think (the video was lifted off BME).

I don't mind people criticizing my eye tattoo, because I think a solid argument could be made that having a buddy tattoo your eye in a bedroom is playing with fire, but it bothers me when people call atypical sexuality "disgusting". In most cases it's extremely positive behavior in people's lives and generally boils down to people looking for extremely satisfying sensations and pushing them to their limits. I know it's the knee-jerk reaction one has when one encounters sexuality other than one's own or those one's familiar with, but it's needlessly rude I think.
posted by glider at 10:30 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

How stupid am I? I try the shift-control-T trick mentioned in this AskMe and guess what pops up. I'm done for the night.
posted by daninnj at 10:52 PM on July 10, 2007

Well, I've seen a lot of this stuff, so it's not knee-jerk. I really do find genital mutilation to be disgusting. I guess you call it "atypical sexuality" though. People with split penises, videos of people castrating themselves. Yeah, it's really fucking disgusting.

It's not like I'm trying to censor or stop anyone though. What do you care if someone is shocked by sticking a knife through your dick? Some things are shocking and disgusting to a lot of people and there isn't anything you can do about it. People castrating themselves, people shitting and pissing in each others mouths. People vomiting on each other. I'm sure it's all all very positive and satisfying to the people involved, but to everyone else it's fucking gross.
posted by puke & cry at 10:55 PM on July 10, 2007

Some people deeply desire to be outre and other people like to despise them. It's a sort of a dance.

I think people should be whatever they want to be and look however they want to look and fuck however they want to fuck. I am who I am and do the things I do pretty much without regard to whether I'm with the group or against the group.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:57 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Yeah, and lots of people think homosexuality is gross too. All I'm saying is it's needlessly rude.
posted by glider at 10:59 PM on July 10, 2007

Ok, I thought I couldn't be squicked by body mods, no thank you very much p&c for correcting my error.

hindmost writes "I think the universe is telling me to wear safety goggles at all times"

Join the 600:20 + astigmatism club and you too can have eye protection everywhere you go.
posted by Mitheral at 11:09 PM on July 10, 2007

Alright, glider, whatever. The last time you got into an argument about body mods you ended up going on about drinking tecates in your mexican villa. God knows we don't need any of that again.
posted by puke & cry at 11:18 PM on July 10, 2007

As someone who cannot STAND to have anyone mess with my eyes--sheesh, I have to get peeled off the ceiling after every eye exam, what with the eye drops and the air-puff test for glaucoma--I can say with certainty that I know I should not click on that link.

But I did learn something new just from reading the post, because I was previously unaware that one could get an eyeball tattooed.

Un Chien Andalou, anyone?
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 11:20 PM on July 10, 2007

Tecates in a Mexican villa? Sounds good to me. (Better than the alternative here....)
posted by Liosliath at 11:22 PM on July 10, 2007

It's Tusker in my Canadian villa these days.

All I'm saying is that even though this is just the internet, there's nothing gained by being needlessly rude to people who choose a different path than you.
posted by glider at 11:24 PM on July 10, 2007

Yes, it's rude to be squicked out be genital manipulation. I think you've made that clear. I disagree. I think I've made that clear too.
posted by puke & cry at 11:27 PM on July 10, 2007

manipulation = mutilation. I get those mixed up occasionally.
posted by puke & cry at 11:28 PM on July 10, 2007

Glider, I actually thought the eye tattooing was pretty interesting - not something I'd ever consider, but I wasn't squicked out by it. As for the other links (mine and P&C), I'm not trying to be rude, but damn. I see that you've done the mod I linked to, so you have a personal interest in that type of "alternative sexuality," I guess - but I think there's a difference between chopping/impaling your penis and homosexuality. I'm just sayin'.

Note : I'm also not bothered by suspensions, scarification, implants, etc... and I kind of like the star your wife has.
posted by Liosliath at 11:40 PM on July 10, 2007

I'm not sure, Liosliath... In a large number of people who do these types of activities they emerge at puberty, without outside influence, cross all cultural boundaries, don't change much through history (to the extent that it's documented), and often are very confusing to the people going through them, especially before they discover others like them. Expressing them (or not expressing them) is also strongly linked to the person's happiness.

Of course there's a difference and they're not entirely in the same category in that they address different aspects of sexual expression, but I think there are more parallels than one would assume at first glance...
posted by glider at 11:58 PM on July 10, 2007

exlotuseater writes 'DAMN YOU, TINY PREVIEW BUTTON!'

None the less, I'm indebted to you both. Thanks.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:36 AM on July 11, 2007

Isn't this what the word "squick" is for? The way I understand it, the word is meant to convey a very personal, averse feeling toward a particular sexual practice or proclivity, while expressly eschewing moral judgment.

Sexuality (obviously) is a very personal, very visceral thing. I think that both powerful aversions and powerful attractions are to be expected. As long as nobody's trying to restrain consenting adults from doing what they want to do, what does it matter that one person is grossed out by another person's very favorite kink?

I mean, I've had gay male friends that were completely sicked out by even the idea of a vagina. That didn't mean they didn't want to hang out with me. There was just certain stuff they didn't want to ever have to see, thankyouverymuch.
posted by palmcorder_yajna at 12:42 AM on July 11, 2007

Yeah, the genital mutilation is pretty disgusting. Case in point. (nsfw, obv)

You win the internet. Take it. It's yours.
posted by dreamsign at 12:47 AM on July 11, 2007

Saying something is gross/disgusting is not necessarily the same as saying it is evil/crazy. You have to give some people enough credit to assume they can make the distinction.

I think it is just as small minded to criticize someone for having an uncontrollable visceral reaction to the unusual as it is bigoted to assume something out of the mainstream is bad. At least until they give you further justification for that attitude by trying to pass a law against the unusual activity, or saying you are damned to hell for participating in it.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:01 AM on July 11, 2007

Glider, I think this is the association people make when they hear eyeball tattoo.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:09 AM on July 11, 2007

What? Ah! No. There I was, happily sitting here being fine with surface piercings and teflon implants, those metal implant things people get screwed into/near their skull, suspension, inner lip tattoos, genital piercings, split tongues... and then I see the FPP and puke&cry's link and I'm miraculously turned into a cringing mass of WTF.

It's not even 10am and my boundaries have already been pushed. I'm gonna go hug a kitten now.
posted by saturnine at 1:56 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I am fascinated by how quickly the Internet has accelerated my transformation into a stereotypical crotchety old man. The popularity of Myspace alone helped speed the process up exponentially. I had already reached the stage of complaining about that new music kids listen to these days, and had projected that I would unironically begin a sentence with "back in my day" in a year's time.

However, with this thread and all the exciting new activities it has taught me about, I am forced to recalculate. (I knew better than to actually look at puke & cry's link, but the "calamari money shot" description tells me much.) By current projections, I will probably reach the "back in my day" phase within mere weeks, and the dreaded final stage, in which I start hiking up my pants, driving slowly, and brandishing my walking stick at people younger than I am while telling them to get off my lawn, may well come within the year. I had hoped I could at least avoid it until I was in my thirties.
posted by a louis wain cat at 2:19 AM on July 11, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

One of the things that I've always been curious about is how repairable this stuff is. I mean, if you get your dick split in two when you're a bohemian in his late teens/early twenties, but become an establishment banker, due to marry an heiress debutante when you hit forty, is it possible to have your knob repaired -- so that it at least *looks* like a standard organ, even if it doesn't necessarily function like one?

Can you have laser tattoo removal if you get tired of having 'mild' and 'bitter' tattooed on your left and right eyeball respectively?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:32 AM on July 11, 2007

Peter -- Well, outside of the fact that most dick-splitters are outwardly pretty normal and kind of fit the establishment banker cliché, yes, it is somewhat reverseable.

And what's funny is one of the few cases I can think of does involve not personal regret, but a fear of revealing it to a fiancé (not an heiress debutante, but a deeply religious woman that he feared would leave him over it).
posted by glider at 6:55 AM on July 11, 2007

Yeah, I'm sorry but I can't really feel like I'm being rude to anyone by saying that there is no time in my life, at any age, where I could've ever related to genetic mutiliation as being something cool that makes people happy. Warm puppies, yes. Chocolate, yes. A backrub, yes. New shoes, maybe. A penis split in half? Yeah, I'm sorry.

I am not sure that anyone could possibly make me feel that is a personality weakness, either. Do whatcha want, you don't really need me to approve, do you? Besides, if I and the rest of society did approve and genetic mutilation became normal it would probably would lose most of its appeal for the people who are drawn to it. People wouldn't be able to indignantly bemoan that mainstream society thinks they're freaks. And that would take a lot of the fun out of it, wouldn't it? Or am I wrong?

Feel free to answer without using any photos. Thanks.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:01 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I stand with lynnster.
posted by Kwine at 7:48 AM on July 11, 2007

My penis is a chromosome, watch me manipulate it.

OMG. Dick splitting is just anaphase I!
posted by Esoquo at 8:00 AM on July 11, 2007

“I am fascinated by how quickly the Internet has accelerated my transformation into a stereotypical crotchety old man.”

How old are you, really? I'm 42 and I find that as I get older, I've become more tolerant rather than less. I've also been moving steadily politically leftward for years. I guess I'm unusual.

“I am not sure that anyone could possibly make me feel that is a personality weakness, either.”

It's funny, but the first time I was exposed to the reality of extreme body mods was in 1993 or so when I saw the book Modern Primitives. (By the way, this was on the coffee table of the billionaire heiress† I was housesitting for—so there goes that whole "engaged to an heiress debutante theory".) I had a long discussion with my (then) wife about it. I was squicked about a lot of the photos and I also felt sure that there was some sort of psychological pathology involved.

Fourteen years later, I don't feel that way at all. Oh, I'm sure that there's a significant portion of people who are into extreme body mods who suffer from some psychological/emotional pathology. But I no longer think that it's unhealthy per se.

I don't know what exactly is behind this change of thinking. It's like I said above—I just keep getting more tolerant as I get older, not less. And the Internet has done a lot to expose me to a whole range of subcultures. It's silly for people here and elsewhere to imagine that all these weird subcultures didn't exist before the Internet. It's just that the world has gotten smaller and it's a lot harder to avoid being exposed to the truly vast variety of human experience. That's a very, very good thing, in my opinion.

By the way, I don't even have any tattoos. I did pierce both my ears in the early 80s when it was really weird for a man to pierce both ears. I actually delayed doing it for a couple of years because all my friends suddenly pierced their right ear lobes and I don't like to do outre things that everyone else is doing. Anyway, the point is that I have no vested interest in being tolerant. It's a lot like my attitude toward drug use. The last time I smoked pot was seventh grade and I've not done any other illegal drugs since then, either. (Which, interestingly, I've come to regret, especially with regard to a range of psychotropics I'm interested in.) I think it's perfectly fine for people to choose to use drugs, even dangerous and illegal ones. Well, if they're adults.

And the same is true about sex practices.

It's like I'm not shocked or squicked about anything at all these days.

So when I find people that I generally feel are like-minded, like many of my fellow mefites here, I'm a little startled when people express intolerance about practices that go beyond vanilla "alternative".

† I won't say who this is, although I'm probably being indiscrete as there aren't actually that many billionaire heiresses running around. It's not Hilton. Are her parents even billionaires? Anyway, the woman I'm referring to (who was friends with my wife) probably wouldn't mind if I mentioned her by name in this context, given what I've read about her in the gossip rags. She's kind of out there.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 8:18 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm like you EB, I've actually become waaay more open minded in my old age about stuff. I don't judge people's choices or get squeeked out one tenth as easily as I did in my 20s. I think the point I was making above is that I also don't feel the need to apologize if I don't relate to something, though. I know I'm not judgmental by nature, nor am I rude. I simply don't expect everyone to relate to me on everything, and I don't feel like I need to tell people I agree on things if I don't have it in my heart to do so. I embrace individuality, and part of that is allowing myself to be individual enough to embrace what I feel. While I may openly admit I don't relate to people slicing up their bodies, I am not telling anyone else what to do or saying they're sick. Just saying openly that it really ain't my bag, baybee.

That's a far cry from intolerance or rudeness, though.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:50 AM on July 11, 2007

If I can't see it, I don't care. All I ask is that people with modified or mutilated genitals keep their pants on when in the same room with me. I don't think that this is an unfair request, on the grounds that I ask the same of most people with unmodified genitalia as well.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:08 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Lynnster, I just took a look through your portfolio. I know some of your employers. If you only knew what was in their pants!!!
posted by glider at 9:46 AM on July 11, 2007

I know getting on the sidebar is a worthy life-goal and all, but this seems a tad excessive.
posted by empath at 9:54 AM on July 11, 2007

Dr. Mengele would be impressed.
posted by MikeMc at 10:10 AM on July 11, 2007

Dr. Mengele would be impressed by my cock. That's because I'm not Jewish, yet my cock is mutilated just like theirs are. It's also enormous—but everybody finds that impressive, not just the evil, mass-murdering torturers.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:23 AM on July 11, 2007

See, here's the thing, glider... you have again missed the point.

I DON'T CARE what's in their pants. I only care if they pay me.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:38 AM on July 11, 2007

We are living in the twenty-first century.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:41 AM on July 11, 2007

Certainly you have the right to prioritize caring about getting paid over caring about people's happiness.
posted by glider at 10:41 AM on July 11, 2007

Oh fuck. Wrong thread. That was about artificial wall-mounted jiggling musical breasts, not eyeball modification.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 10:42 AM on July 11, 2007

Look, EB, just because you're not getting any right now that doesn't give you the right to go on about your enormous cock.
posted by Deathalicious at 10:46 AM on July 11, 2007

“Look, EB, just because you're not getting any right now that doesn't give you the right to go on about your enormous cock.”

No, I suppose it doesn't. You're no damn fun.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 10:50 AM on July 11, 2007

Dr. Mengele would be impressed by my cock.

Is it bifurcated? If not it's just plain vanilla. Link very,very,very NSFW!
posted by MikeMc at 10:55 AM on July 11, 2007

Glider, first you go on about how rude it is to feel judged, and then you actually imply that it's part of my JOB to care what people do with their personal lives!??? What the hell?

They can do whatever they want. If they're happy I'm happy. But why am I supposed to think the graphic details of what's in their pants is my business just because they hired me to do some crappy graphic design job? Making my rent and taking care of my OWN personal life on the other hand, IS my business. And it's not like anyone else is going to pay attention to that.

Honestly... in my mind, live & let live is the opposite of rude so I honestly don't get why you're implying that sticking my nose in other people's private lives is supposed to be my duty as someone's client. That's just plain insane. Gilder, I'm hired to be a professional... to show up, design stuff, and leave. That's it. So I concentrate on trying to do that well. There isn't any valid reason that I NEED to have a vivid understanding of whether or not my clients' sexual proclivities make them happy. It's superfluous to our relationship.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:03 AM on July 11, 2007

And by the way, if I had a client who felt the need to find out what I do in the privacy of my home? They wouldn't be my client for long. I simply believe that respectful privacy is a good thing, as is a separation of business & personal life. I'm old fashioned that way.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:05 AM on July 11, 2007

In the privacy of my home sexually, I mean. I'm very social with my clients about other stuff that isn't as private.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:06 AM on July 11, 2007

Glider is my new hero. Fuck yes.

Anybody who pushes the human body physically and (as demonstrated by the reactions in this thread) psychologically forward gets an internet high-five from me.

I read about this about a few days ago on the write up at Suicide Girls by Warren Ellis. To quote the part that resonated with me:

The body-modification community is doing important work in pushing the envelope of the human body. We’re only ever going to be issued one each, so we may as well find out what it can do. --- So, yes, we laugh at people with permanently blue eyeballs, and Stelarc with the ear on his arm and Orlan and her surgically-grafted bone horns. But the point of these procedures is entirely serious – without these ever so slightly mental stab-o-nauts hellbent on wrecking their bodies in artistic ways, we’ll never define the edges of how the body can be made to look and operate.

So, to glider and all of his ilk, from a mildly tattooed pedestrian: many thanks for your advancement of human kind.

(And the quote "a specialist told him that tattooing your eyeball is basically dangerous and stupid. Shannon, being Shannon, decided that this was Condition Win and set out along with two friends to get stabbed in the eyemeat." made me titter.)
posted by slimepuppy at 12:19 PM on July 11, 2007

palmcorder_yajna: This is absolutely what the word squick is meant for. I'm a bit squicked by a number of things on BME, but I'd never suggest it's not a valid mode of self-expression or a valid route to happiness. The difference between squick and disgust is in the former, it's a failing of mine. In the latter, it's a failing of the other.

This is why, puke & cry, there's a huge difference between you saying that all of this is "really fucking disgusting" and then switched a few posts later to "Yes, it's rude to be squicked out be genital manipulation. I think you've made that clear. I disagree. I think I've made that clear too."

glider never said it's rude to be squicked by such things. He may or may not hold such a position, I'm not going to venture on his part there. What you were doing, however, was not stating that you were squicked, which is a statement about yourself. You were making statements about what they were doing, which puts you in an entirely different ballpark, and fully deserving of the rude label.

As for the argument with miss lynnster, I have to agree with her there. There's a difference between caring about someone's happiness and wanting to know the details of said happiness. The former is just polite. The latter in entirely situational, and depends on a lot of different factors. Most of these are quite removed from the client relationship.
posted by Arturus at 12:44 PM on July 11, 2007

Lynnster, I'm not of the opinion that it's your job to be nice to people because it's your job. I'm of the opinion that it's the right thing to do in general.

It doesn't mean you have to like it (because clearly to demand that would be the exact same error), it doesn't mean you have to agree with it (same), but you should do your best when exposed to lifestyles that squick you (which is perfectly fair) to understand that the squicking is due to a lack of understanding (again, perfectly fair) and that it doesn't do anyone any good to go on about how disgusting you feel it is -- and it certainly does hurt the people who do these things who do read these discussions.

And yeah, maybe people should just ignore insults on the Internet, but it does hurt -- especially when it's on generally intelligent and compassionate sites like this (versus, say, Ogrish or CollegeHumor or some other low-brow site).
posted by glider at 12:59 PM on July 11, 2007

And yeah, maybe people should just ignore insults on the Internet, but it does hurt -- especially when it's on generally intelligent and compassionate sites like this (versus, say, Ogrish or CollegeHumor or some other low-brow site).

Fark this isn't but... when one engages in what might be construed as attention whoring one can't reasonably expect all of the attention to be positive. The old saw about not having anything nice to say comes to mind but that sort of thinking went the way of the buggy whip when Usenet went wide.
posted by MikeMc at 1:18 PM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

gllider, I have a hard time believing a number of body-mod folks don't do what they do precisely for the public squicking involved, or if you prefer, the shock-the-squares value.

Which I don't have a problem with, but then again, if I ran a business I'd have no problem not hiring someone who would scare off an old lady.

I'm all for the liberty principle in action (do what you want as long as it doesn't mess with someone else's ability to do what they want), but I think you're being a bit coy and faux-defensive about all this. Why tattoo your eyeball or bifurcate your cock if you can't show the damn thing off?

Seems to me there's a point (although not a bright line) where those who wish to be different can't expect a hell of a lot of compassion from those who wish to live in an un-squicked manner.
posted by bardic at 1:18 PM on July 11, 2007

(MikeMc beat me to it, largely.)
posted by bardic at 1:19 PM on July 11, 2007

glider writes "Certainly you have the right to prioritize caring about getting paid over caring about people's happiness"

My happiness is related to my getting paid.

glider writes "it doesn't do anyone any good to go on about how disgusting you feel it is -- and it certainly does hurt the people who do these things who do read these discussions"

Well unlike say polydactylicism or sexual orientation body mods are a choice the individual makes. Expressing how one feels about the changes isn't any different than commenting a person's choice in jewelry and clothing or laughing at bigots.
posted by Mitheral at 2:03 PM on July 11, 2007

"to understand that the squicking is due to a lack of understanding..."

Wrong. I understand why people do it (or, I understand the reasons they gave for doing it, which may or may not be the real ones), and I'm still squicked out.
posted by Liosliath at 2:29 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Can we finally add body mods to the one thing people are unable to talk about on Metafilter? 'cause every goddamn time the subject is brought up, the same tired arguments are rehashed.

The conversation topic is always lost under the din of 'bodymods are disgusting!' vs. 'no they're not!'. I would love nothing more than to take the rare opportunity to hear first hand from glider about his eyes, but the 'ewww' comments just drown it out. Yes, I understand you don't like the same things I/we do, but please can you just leave the shitting in the thread to a minimum?
posted by slimepuppy at 2:41 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Like when I read your admiring comment for the guy who cut off his thumb, and you mentioned that you were thinking about doing something similar, but you'd probably choose the ring finger.... I know you probably have your own very good reasons for wanting to do it, and I'd never presume to tell you not to, but I'm still squicked.

Something interesting -

"Several Indians visit us this evening, the son of the late great Chief of the Mandans who had 2 of his fingers off and appeared to be pierced in many places. On inquiring the reason, was informed that it was a testimony to their grief for deceased friends, they frequently cut off Several fingers & pierced themselves in different parts, a mark of savage affection."
posted by Liosliath at 2:41 PM on July 11, 2007

"I would love nothing more than to take the rare opportunity to hear first hand from glider about his eyes"

Why don't you just email him then, slimepuppy?
posted by Liosliath at 2:47 PM on July 11, 2007

'cause I'm shy.
posted by slimepuppy at 2:51 PM on July 11, 2007

Actually, I'd like another update on how his eye is healing, and I hope he stops back in to let us know.
posted by Liosliath at 2:52 PM on July 11, 2007

I actually just posted a new picture of it earlier today... It's doing fine, and I'm looking forward to continuing this experiment and filling it all in. There's no discomfort and the residual redness is quickly going away.

Mitheral, I don't think that the "choice vs. born-that-way" debate on body modification is quite so determined (and some of the recent studies indicating a genetic bias in self-cutting behavior makes me think it will become arguable in a way that's more convincing that "I know a lot of people and that's how it seems"). Of course I don't think there's a gene for "must tattoo eyes" or "must pierce junk" but I do think there's a gene set that pushes people to express themselves in this way in a more general sense, with the specifics being more environmentally/personally determined.

Bardic, people who tattoo their eyes are probably looking for a general public reaction to some extent, but I don't think that's the case for people who modify their genitals. In terms of "why bifurcate your cock if not for a public reaction", people tend to do it because it feels really, really good to them (once it's healed).
posted by glider at 3:11 PM on July 11, 2007

Well I'd prefer to think people have free will even if it isn't true. The alternative that our lives and actions are mapped out by random chance in the womb is too depressing.

PS: your wife's eye implant is plain wicked.
posted by Mitheral at 3:44 PM on July 11, 2007

I must hang out with the wrong people who have their junk pierced, because they always seem to be looking for excuses to show it off.

Granted, it's not the largest sample size, but still.
posted by bardic at 3:50 PM on July 11, 2007

Hahaha, ok, it is true... It does give guys an excuse to whip it out more often sometimes.
posted by glider at 3:57 PM on July 11, 2007

rarely these days do i find myself wondering what my life would be like without the internet. this morning as i clicked on puke & cry's link i stopped to ponder this question for the first time in ages.
posted by sleep_walker at 4:01 PM on July 11, 2007

Seems self-defeating. The tattooee could go blind and never have the gratification of seeing other people staring at him.
posted by bad grammar at 5:02 PM on July 11, 2007

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Literally.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 5:05 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'm having trouble processing exactly what my reaction to this is. I'm not one of those people particularly squeamish about eyes or body modification...but I just feel weird about it. Imagining having my eye tattooed makes me feel really uncomfortable.

All I can say is, glider, you are one brave dude.
posted by tastybrains at 5:34 PM on July 11, 2007

All I can say is, glider, you are one brave dude.

Ditto that. I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the final result (and hoping he avoids infection/blindness).
posted by BrotherCaine at 6:29 PM on July 11, 2007

Jesus. We live in a world where people play golf. GOLF for God's sake! A game that is exactly as boring as eyeball tattooing and genital mutilation. Why aren't more people discussing that incredibly dull activity instead? At least getting your eyeball tattooed just looks silly. Golf is consuming the world's land, water, and balls.

GOLF!!
posted by howfar at 6:30 PM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

There are body mods that I have thought about getting myself (I'm contemplating my first right now). There are body mods that squick me out, that I could never imagine doing myself, and that I don't see the appeal of. This is in that happy medium of, "Owie ow ow! [cringe] Looks nice, though".
posted by spaceman_spiff at 6:42 PM on July 11, 2007

.eyes { background: #069 }
posted by arialblack at 7:41 PM on July 11, 2007

Can we finally add body mods to the one thing people are unable to talk about on Metafilter? 'cause every goddamn time the subject is brought up, the same tired arguments are rehashed.

Having just read through the threads you linked, and several that were linked from there, yes.

Every thread degraded into a petty argument on both sides, and went nowhere. Not that I don't enjoy petty internet arguments sometimes, I wouldn't have read them all were that the case, but seriously, this isn't productive discourse.

This thread (so far at least) is much more civil than it's been in those others, even.
posted by Arturus at 7:59 PM on July 11, 2007

Glider, here's the thing. Just because I say I'm not into body mods doesn't mean I am insulting YOU. It's got nothing to DO with you! That's what I don't get. I just don't want any MYSELF, I'm just not interested in them. As I said, I'm perfectly happy when others are happy and I don't care if you have them, do whatever you want. It has no bearing upon how nice I will be to you as a person. It has nothing to do with being nice, I'm perfectly nice to everyone.

I feel the same about whether or not a client has body mods as I do about if they only wore brown shoes. They could have a whole closet full of brown shoes. I don't really care. Has no bearing on my relationship with them. I may think their shoes are ones I would never own in a million years, but it doesn't matter. Not my feet. If they like the shoes, good for them.

Okay so yeah, I'm not gonna get my hooha pierced with my clients. And I probably won't ask them about their pierced hoohas. Why you think that implies that I'm a bad or mean person is beyond me. If anything, it makes you sound a bit like you're selfishly judging me for not being just like you. Which... is a bit hypocritical. Since you're telling me you don't want to be judged & I'm doing nothing of the kind, I'm saying live & let live.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:01 PM on July 11, 2007

I'm sorry but I can't really feel like I'm being rude to anyone by saying that there is no time in my life, at any age, where I could've ever related to genetic mutiliation as being something cool that makes people happy.

So when someone with a split cock happens to mention (not show) this fact to you, would you say this to them? 'I don't think that's cool and I don't believe it made you happy.' That's a judgement call right there and I'd find it insulting.

It's just that you mention that genital mutilation '[doesn't] make people happy', that makes me think that you do judge other people. Live and let live would be, 'that's not my thing, but I hope it makes you happy'. Or this could be just a case of miscommunication based on what you've said after that.
posted by slimepuppy at 12:14 AM on July 12, 2007

What? I never said it doesn't make people happy. I said it wouldn't make ME happy so I sincerely just don't relate. Same way if I told you how much I love singing and how it makes me happy, and you hate to sing and don't find any pleasure in it, you wouldn't relate. I know people who have flat out told me they don't even like music! But that's their personality, their choice... I'm not going to tell them "No, you MUST like music. Because I like music. And if you don't like music, you are judging me." If they don't and they're happy that way, why is it my business? I still love music.

I just would never think that by telling me you don't enjoy singing that you were saying I'm wrong for being a singer. I would assume it's okay that I do what makes me happy without needing you to understand. You are you. I am me. That's what's great about the world.

Honestly, you guys are SERIOUSLY overdefensive. It's like you want to be mad at people for judging you so much that you're repeatedly declaring me to have have feelings that I don't possess whatsoever. That weirds me out far more than genetic mutilation. So I'm done.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:08 AM on July 12, 2007

"there is no time in my life, at any age, where I could've ever related to genetic mutiliation as being something cool that makes people happy."

Hence the confusion. Replace 'people' with 'me' and there is no problem. A miscommunication.
posted by slimepuppy at 8:43 AM on July 12, 2007

I've been following the blog posts. That looks amazing.

Shannon :: Is the plan to try to ink all of the white? Did you end up finding a doctor who can help you complete the process?
posted by snarfodox at 8:44 AM on July 12, 2007

Apparently blue sclera are generally indicative of iron deficiency or alkaptonuria.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:11 AM on July 14, 2007

sclerae?
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:11 AM on July 14, 2007