Titties and Beer

July 10, 2007 7:21 PM

Jingle Jugs
posted by Stynxno (62 comments total)

What the....
posted by watsondog at 7:23 PM on July 10, 2007

These jugs, they vibrate?
posted by fleetmouse at 7:24 PM on July 10, 2007

Bust of the web?
posted by googly at 7:27 PM on July 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

definately "fleet" for the win.
posted by jkaczor at 7:27 PM on July 10, 2007

For the man who wants to make a statement with his living room decor.
posted by yohko at 7:28 PM on July 10, 2007

At last!
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:28 PM on July 10, 2007

Is this NSFW? Cuz the name alone has got me- ...I'll just check it in a few hours. =)
posted by ZachsMind at 7:32 PM on July 10, 2007

Love the fake "Living in Stereo" song as part of the Fast Times at Ridgemont High bit.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:32 PM on July 10, 2007

A.w.e.s.o.m.e!
posted by tristeza at 7:33 PM on July 10, 2007

The one millionth comment and four posts about breasts today!
posted by inconsequentialist at 7:34 PM on July 10, 2007

Weiss Wack.
posted by Oddly at 7:35 PM on July 10, 2007

So... which, if placed on full display in a living room, would ruin a guy's datability longer:

(a) one of these, or
(b) a full set of advanced dungeons and dragons rulebooks?
posted by namespan at 7:36 PM on July 10, 2007

A full set of AD&D rulebooks would take up most of the living room, so I'm going to go with b.
posted by L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg at 7:39 PM on July 10, 2007

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose.
posted by billysumday at 7:39 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

From the FAQ:

Rodney Carrington [the apparent inventor of "Jingle Jugs"] is a stand-up comic and comic country musician. He was the star of the ABC television sitcom "Rodney," and has released six studio albums and one live album, totaling millions of sold copies. Rodney's "Greatest Hits" album recently went Gold on Capitol Records (250,000 sales).

----

With the good Lord as my witness, I can tell you that nothing is funnier than disembodied audio-animatronic sound-activated fake female mammary glands. Nothing. I bought two and one 'em starts up and the other gets a'goin' and then teh first one takes a-notice of the second one and they just don't stop, go right through the night, there, yep. Gonna youtuber it.
posted by user92371 at 7:41 PM on July 10, 2007

Send A Rack to Iraq has to be one of the amazing promotions ever. Someone could write a thesis on that alone.
posted by bluevelvetelvis at 7:41 PM on July 10, 2007

At least the advertisements are true. Women would walk away from any moron who had these.
posted by dobbs at 7:47 PM on July 10, 2007

I'm having trouble figuring out which is more repetitive, the, uh, jingle or Avril's song.
posted by The Bridge on the River Kai Ryssdal at 7:47 PM on July 10, 2007

Just be careful. It's a slippery slope from hanging this on the wall of your den to buying clothes and makeup for your Real Doll.
posted by hydrophonic at 7:49 PM on July 10, 2007

So will Dee's Nuts now automate production?
posted by eyeballkid at 7:51 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Dood. On the "rack to iraq" thing, he didn't even change his voice to sound like different truckers.

This is the SUXORS!!!11!!

For $49.99, those fuckers should at least be facing in the same direction. How about $25, for the googly titties?

Do they even talk back when ya squeeze 'em, like Bill the talkin' Bass?
posted by snsranch at 7:52 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

you know, cool. i always hated improvising with Billy Bigmouth Bass.
posted by tremspeed at 7:53 PM on July 10, 2007

So... which, if placed on full display in a living room, would ruin a guy's datability longer:

(a) one of these, or
(b) a full set of advanced dungeons and dragons rulebooks?

(a) says "I love disembodied female body parts!", which might not be the best message to send.

Also, some straight women are interested in (b).
posted by watsondog at 7:55 PM on July 10, 2007

Without jugs there is no paradise.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 7:56 PM on July 10, 2007

No thanks, I've already got some. They don't play music, though.
posted by louche mustachio at 8:00 PM on July 10, 2007

I know a kid who'd love one of those.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:05 PM on July 10, 2007

Pepsi Boob?
posted by katillathehun at 8:07 PM on July 10, 2007

Gives a whole new meaning to "trophy wife."
posted by cerebus19 at 8:14 PM on July 10, 2007

Dood. On the "rack to iraq" thing, he didn't even change his voice to sound like different truckers.

This is the SUXORS!!!11!!

Did you just say C. W. McCall suxors? You better take that back or someone's gonna drive a Mac truck up your heinie. He's the most gloriously authentic created-by-an-ad-agency country music legend!
posted by Kattullus at 8:17 PM on July 10, 2007

I predict that these will be the Nerf of Web 2.0 companies.
posted by b1tr0t at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007

s/of/for/
posted by b1tr0t at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007

So this is how Wonder Woman lost her bosom?
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007

Pepsi Boob?

Apparently we've moved on to Pabst Boob Rhythm.
posted by liam at 8:18 PM on July 10, 2007 [2 favorites]

bra-wesome!
posted by pmbuko at 8:21 PM on July 10, 2007

Thank God I ain't queer.
posted by ColdChef at 8:30 PM on July 10, 2007

When I am on the stand, accused of crimes against humanity, I am going to point to things like this and say;

"You show me a humanity that creates disembodied dancing tits, and I'll show you a humanity that needs to die in fire."

I will, of course, be found not guilty by reason of having good common-fucking-sense.
posted by quin at 8:32 PM on July 10, 2007 [3 favorites]

Now, would a set of male gonads peeking out from a thong and tumescing and detmescing to music sell as well?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:37 PM on July 10, 2007

I gotta get a pair of those for my Real Doll.

What?
posted by emelenjr at 8:40 PM on July 10, 2007

Now, would a set of male gonads peeking out from a thong and tumescing and detmescing to music sell as well?

Who'd have the balls to make such a thing?
posted by ColdChef at 8:40 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

Well, maybe they could use this song. Maybe you could hang them on the same wall.
posted by rcavett at 8:52 PM on July 10, 2007

I was expecting boobies synchronized to Christmas songs.

I was sorely disappointed.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 8:55 PM on July 10, 2007

Probably better suited to a Peaches song.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:56 PM on July 10, 2007

Now, would a set of male gonads peeking out from a thong and tumescing and detmescing to music sell as well?


Well, I did once see a pair swinging in the wind in front of me as I cruised down the road. I don't know if they were making music or not.
posted by frobozz at 9:25 PM on July 10, 2007

Those are put on by truck trailer rental companies. They are a safety device that make a high pitched whistling sound if you exceed 55 MPH.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:27 PM on July 10, 2007

So they do make music! Although that wouldn't explain the ones I considered linking to that light up whenever you press the break...
posted by frobozz at 9:39 PM on July 10, 2007

Ah, the light up version will get you a 15% discount on your car insurance.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:45 PM on July 10, 2007

They've got a Send A Rack To Iraq link. I find that hilarious.
posted by hadjiboy at 11:25 PM on July 10, 2007

That thing is really freaking me out. It's like the nipples are shooting bullets or something, which would be ideal if they were shipped to Iraq.
posted by hadjiboy at 11:28 PM on July 10, 2007

Classy.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:35 PM on July 10, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's epokitschsterycal.
posted by elpapacito at 1:49 AM on July 11, 2007

Just one size? A serious oversight.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:54 AM on July 11, 2007

"There's one thing Daddy likes, and that's titties and beer."

You're such a dumbass that you can't count any higher than that? Thpbbbt.

Oh, and what dirtynumbangelboy said. I wanted a bra decorated with jingling harness bells, dammit!
posted by pax digita at 2:39 AM on July 11, 2007

Available soon at a Borders Bookstore near you!

not really, just channeling the days when Borders sold the singing fish. jumping the shark, indeed.
posted by malaprohibita at 4:25 AM on July 11, 2007

snsranch: How about $25, for the googly titties?

Um, no. They're not for sale.
posted by googly at 6:19 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

not really, just channeling the days when Borders sold the singing fish. jumping the shark, indeed.

In fairness, those were bought in the days when we uh, that company owned a novelty toy store chain called "All Wound Up". Rarely has a store had a more prophetic name.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 6:24 AM on July 11, 2007

So, I've been keeping abreast of this discussion, but I really think that now it's been milked for all it's worth. Soon it will just be a mammary.
posted by cerebus19 at 6:53 AM on July 11, 2007 [2 favorites]

Wow! This sure beats the hell out of all those YouTube posts that have been deleted. I feel like a 14 year-old again!
posted by sluglicker at 6:58 AM on July 11, 2007

Where's the accessories? Sparklers, please.
posted by rokusan at 7:04 AM on July 11, 2007

Women would walk away from any moron who had these.

Unless they all possessed a sense of humor.
posted by jonmc at 7:21 AM on July 11, 2007

Yes. A very subtle, nuanced sense of humor.
posted by hydrophonic at 9:34 AM on July 11, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes, but will they blend?
posted by Frasermoo at 4:05 PM on July 11, 2007

It's a good thing that this wasn't around when David Chase wrote the Sopranos food poisoning dream episode.
posted by machaus at 5:46 AM on July 12, 2007