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The mini-penis scandal
July 13, 2007 1:50 AM   Subscribe

The Mini-Penis Scandal.
posted by humblepigeon (106 comments total)

 
Gotta love the Germans. Gotta worry about the Americans. Gotta be suspicious of the British MeFite who posted this largely because of the funny Der Spiegel headline. But, hey, it is Friday.
posted by humblepigeon at 1:52 AM on July 13, 2007


But is it circumcised or not?
posted by sluglicker at 2:04 AM on July 13, 2007


Speaking as a fan of Captain Bluebear, perhaps the statue is of a minipirate?
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 2:14 AM on July 13, 2007


Mini-Penis? I'll raise you a Concrete Cock.
posted by VulcanMike at 2:17 AM on July 13, 2007


Mini-Penis? I'll raise you a Concrete Cock.

I'll raise you a vaguely offensive ad for lubricant.
posted by humblepigeon at 2:20 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm not going to be talked down to by a people whose national pastimes include defecating on each other and genocide.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 2:22 AM on July 13, 2007


No, we don't hate Americans - we're far too busy laughing at them.
posted by DreamerFi at 2:23 AM on July 13, 2007


Ah Freedom loving insular USA. It makes you wonder how much we are missing being like this, and how far it really goes.
posted by wuakeen at 2:23 AM on July 13, 2007


I'm not going to be talked down to by a people whose national pastimes include defecating on each other and genocid

Yeah! It's not like the US ever wiped out a race of people and stole their land!
posted by humblepigeon at 2:37 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


If there's an international crime you can name, the Americans are guilty of it. They recently got in detainment without trial and torture. We Europeans were into that 500 years ago.
posted by humblepigeon at 2:39 AM on July 13, 2007


I guess there is no fine art in the USA then. Lots of nudity involved there.

And I guess all kids are bathed while wearing a sheet around them for modesty in case they see their own bodies too.
posted by gomichild at 2:51 AM on July 13, 2007


If there's anything worse than a genocidal shit-eater, it's a defensive genocidal shit-eater.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 2:52 AM on July 13, 2007


If you're going to censor something, then the reader should be aware of it

Now where have I seen that recently?
posted by Joeforking at 2:59 AM on July 13, 2007


Americans defecate on each other?
posted by joannemerriam at 3:04 AM on July 13, 2007


No, Germans do, silly.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:08 AM on July 13, 2007


Actually, I should really have added this to the FPP and made it slightly more interesting. The Guardian has more details. We Brits are in the process of censoring a Tintin book because of racist content.
posted by humblepigeon at 3:23 AM on July 13, 2007


Not to re-rail the post or anything, but seriously, how did this happen? Compared to now, the 1960s and '70s were a time of sexual openness in the States when this wouldn't have been an issue. What happened that closed the door on common sense?

I wonder if it's more the result of a general political mindset that wants to put sex back in the closet, or a move cover up the "dirty" bits you know, "for the children."

Or both.
posted by SteveInMaine at 3:25 AM on July 13, 2007


My brother worked for a grade school text book publisher and they removed udders from cows because they were worried that it would interfere with sales in the bible belt.
posted by srboisvert at 3:32 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Not to re-rail the post or anything, but seriously, how did this happen?

As I've said before on MeFi, American is turning into a medieval country. We forget how young America is, in terms of its identity. Most of what defines modern America has happened in the last 100-150 years. America is still finding itself in many ways.

Britain, Germany, France, Spain... We've been through all that shit hundreds of years ago, and coming out the other side made us stronger. America just isn't as mature as European countries. It's a teenager amongst grown men. It just happens to be a very big and powerful teenager that most of the grown men have to respect.
posted by humblepigeon at 3:34 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


Just. Ridiculous.

The only thing to fear is fear itself.
posted by progosk at 3:34 AM on July 13, 2007


What happened that closed the door on common sense?

I suspect it was the rise of the Religious Right in the 80's coupled with the nationwide mass hysteria about Satanic Child-Molesting Covens lurking behind every library or school door.

Man, those were the days.
posted by Avenger at 3:35 AM on July 13, 2007


No, Germans do, silly.

So only Germans agree with you?
posted by srboisvert at 3:35 AM on July 13, 2007


humblepigeon, the extremely close analogy you draw between nations and individual humans is certainly, ah, novel, but where are you getting the idea that nations age and "mature" that way?
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 3:41 AM on July 13, 2007


I am posting this comment from my wii (perhaps something of an amusing irony given the subject matter) and I gotta say, the zoom function was really handy for seeing that tiny, tiny penis. so for america the only course of action now is clear... to protect the children you MUST ban the wii!
posted by Effigy2000 at 3:44 AM on July 13, 2007


Britain, Germany, France, Spain... We've been through all that shit hundreds of years ago, and coming out the other side made us stronger. America just isn't as mature as European countries. It's a teenager amongst grown men. It just happens to be a very big and powerful teenager that most of the grown men have to respect.


"America is dumb, it's like a dumb puppy that has big teeth that can bite and hurt you, aggressive," he said.

"My daughter is four, my boy is one. I'd like them to see America as a toy, a broken toy. Investigate it a little, check it out, get this feeling and then get out..."

"I was ecstatic they re-named 'French Fries' as 'Freedom Fries'. Grown men and women in positions of power in the U.S. government showing themselves as idiots..."

posted by chuckdarwin at 3:47 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


If there's anything worse than a genocidal shit-eater, it's a defensive genocidal shit-eater racist American cunt.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:48 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


Bush doesn't want anyone seeing dicks in case you all finally piece it together and work out that he is one.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 3:55 AM on July 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


*TAXI*!!!

c'mon slimepuppy, mate, just put your arm around my shoulder, whoa there! - ok, left foot goes in front of the right one...
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:57 AM on July 13, 2007


Balance this FPP about an innocent children's book having a willy in it with our relentless consumption of porn, the fact that it seems now that shaving our bodies into a prepubescent appearance is mainstream (nothing telling about that), that every other elected official is a self-loathing closet case, abstinence education, you name it--this is one fucked up society about fucking.

Sex is the only "scandal" which Americans deem important enough to oust people from office over. War crimes, racism, murder, torture, stealing the public's money? Not a problem! A bit of the old in-out? Big problem!

It's surreal.
posted by maxwelton at 3:59 AM on July 13, 2007 [6 favorites]


Taxi be damned - you're right on the money, slimepuppy. I might have thrown in "uneducated" too, but that would probably have been unnecessary.

chuckdarwin: Johnny Depp is the voice of reason now?
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 4:01 AM on July 13, 2007


Fuckersh... I'll take 'em all on...
posted by slimepuppy at 4:01 AM on July 13, 2007


Well, at least now we know who killed Cock Ribbon.
posted by rob511 at 4:03 AM on July 13, 2007


If there's anything worse than a genocidal shit-eater, it's a defensive genocidal shit-eater racist American cunt.

Actually, German racist c*nts are worse even than this. I mean, you can't really beat Hitler in that regard.
posted by humblepigeon at 4:04 AM on July 13, 2007


you can't really beat Hitler in that regard

We didn't beat Hitler? Shit. There I was thinking he ended up in a ditch, covered in petrol, on fire.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 4:07 AM on July 13, 2007


(I was doing my pub quiz, there: full marks)
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:21 AM on July 13, 2007


The only thing to fear is fear itself cartoon genitalia.
posted by smoothvirus at 4:27 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I couldn't even see the penis in the picture the first time I looked at it.
posted by knapah at 4:31 AM on July 13, 2007


I probably won't be able to articulate this as eloquently as I'd like: I'm afraid it would take just a little too much time to do so. But there's something I'd like to say about the direction this thread is taking, so...

There is so much that's so messed up about the US government and a (seeming) majority of its people: the current administration's bald-faced greed, hypocrisy and self-serving lies, its militarist adventurism, its disregard for the environment and for the poorest of the nation, its refusal to do anything about the enormous problems like the insane surfeit of guns, lack of affordable health care for its citizens, the state of education... the list goes on and on. And indeed the nation was founded on the genocide and brutal oppression of the native peoples.

But English history is so appallingly awash in the blood of conquered and colonized people all around the world, and what wealth England enjoyed has been due in such large part to global pillaging and subjugation of colonized labor forces on such a massive historical scale, that, that... when British folk point a self righteous and accusing finger at the US...

Ah, fuck it, I'll have another pint, and one for my buddy slimepuppy, here! (Hey, he's still standing. More or less.)

Just as long as humblepigeon remembers that Europe didn't stop doing bad stuff 500 years ago. There's been some godawful shit gone down a lot more recently than that... oh, and the facile analogies about grown men and teenagers, too. That shit's dumb.

OK, where's those pints?

posted by flapjax at midnite at 4:39 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


(and to think the land of the free & the home of the brave went through all that legal hassle in the 60s before writers like Henry Miller & Allen Ginsberg could be published...hey, y'all can still buy Tropic of Cancer & Howl, right? right...?)
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:43 AM on July 13, 2007


I couldn't even see the penis in the picture the first time I looked at it.

kinda paraphrases my thoughts, thinking back to when bush first won an election....
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:47 AM on July 13, 2007


What're you on, flapjax? Timothy Taylor? Bucking Fastard? Marston's Pedigree? Black Sheep? Shropshire Lad?

Friends don't let friends drink Lager.
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:51 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


This evolving attitude in American is troubling at best, down-right creepy at worst. At what point does this turn into a full-on theocratic putsch to curb basic liberties like how to dress and what to think and read? They already, in contravention to the nation's founders, have everyone who wants to run for public office pretending to be a devout Christian.

And unfortunately it is risible. I've had a couple people ask me, "What are you Americans doing?" What are you gonna say? "We're working it out man, just like you." "But..." "No buts." Which normally gets a grunt and, once at least, another Pilsner.

Another real shame (that is getting overlooked in this thread) is that Ms. Berner's books are terrific kids books. I've read a bunch of them, hundreds of times. You can't do much better.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:00 AM on July 13, 2007


Well, the important distinction here is the difference between historical and current events. The actions of the current administration does not excuse the imperialist past of a nation, but the dark history hardly influences every decision made. Most of the criticism against America (and the UK for being responsible and complicit in many, many less-than above-the-board decisions) is based on what is going right now. Historical hypocrisy notwithstanding.

Fuck all y'all anyway, I'm Finnish. Pure as the driven snow, we are. (Asides from temporarily siding with the Nazis during WWII, inventing the Molotov Cocktail, having political prisoners, a penchant for racism etc. ad nauseum)
posted by slimepuppy at 5:01 AM on July 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


What're you on, flapjax?

Truth be told, chuckdarwin, I'm at the moment enjoying a nice bottle of Spanish wine. Sangre de Toro Catalunya. But don't get me started on those fuckin Conquistadors, man. Terror and butchery on a scale seldom seen since.

Good wine, though, now that they're, you know, not teenagers anymore.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:07 AM on July 13, 2007


So wait... it's ok to day bad things just as long as someone else did worse?
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 5:10 AM on July 13, 2007


slimepuppy! a neighbour! i'm Latvian! and even part Finno-Ugric (Livonian). and we also sided with the Nazis! lemme shout you another Vodka! then let's go make some of your famous cocktails & pay a visit to the Jewish quarter of town! c'mon! Baltic-Scandinavian pride! *sings* throw the jew down the well, so my country can be free...
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:12 AM on July 13, 2007


It doesn't really matter whose government sucks the most in a particular decade. The posts here merely point out that we are all the same. Putting more pain, judgment, insult into the world is an easy choice, and really quite unnecessary. We already have more than enough of that to deal with on a global scale. In case you as an individual have not yet learned it: Like begets like.
Am I "proud to be an American"? No, not lately.
Am I proud to be a human being? Some moments, yes. Reading most of the above comments? No.
I have found, no matter what country I am in, that when people deal one on one with people, as people, regardless of nationality, religion, ethnicity, etc. We are good. It's when we lump ourselves into us/them categories that we create antagonism,division, and general shitheadedness.

Try harder, fellow mefites, perhaps "best of the web" should refer not just to site postings, but comments as well?
posted by RenMan at 5:13 AM on July 13, 2007 [11 favorites]


Herbaceous, spicy, full of robust black cherry-like fruit, with superb tannins...

Sounds good! I can't get used to drinking the red unless it's with a meal; I'm still an unreconstructed boy in my way.

Has MeFi already had a 'your favourite wine sucks' thread? Wait, don't answer that.
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:14 AM on July 13, 2007


I find explaining American geography / American politics / American culture to Brits to be frustrating and dreary experience. I wish I could make it stop, now. Please.

I'd actually like to be able to cop a decent British accent when I need to so that people don't constantly ask me where I'm from. Perhaps I should seek out a vocal coach. I'm a quick study, me.

Oh, let's go back to the topic: In general, Americans are prudish. The Brits are less so, but more prudish the continental types. There are, to my knowledge, no nude beaches in Britain (for instance). I also seem to remember a recent advery featuring digital babies with their genitals removed doing synchronised swimming...
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:23 AM on July 13, 2007


Weird Sexless Babies (Evian)
posted by chuckdarwin at 5:25 AM on July 13, 2007


In general, Americans are prudish. The Brits are less so

Yeh, no dirty seaside postcards, Benny Hill, or Are You Being Served coming out of the US! Damn sexually liberated Brits!
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:34 AM on July 13, 2007


no mini peni but I see these all the time in Atlanta
posted by Hands of Manos at 5:44 AM on July 13, 2007


The Brits are less so, but more prudish the continental types.

You ought to go out in Newcastle on a Saturday night. You'll find people fucking, pissing and even shitting against various walls.

We do have a nudist beach. I think it's in Brighton. But we don't have nudism for a reason. It's cold here. Right now it's a few weeks into Summer and it hasn't stopped raining. I'm not exaggerating. Over the last three weeks, my area has had one day of sunshine/non-rain.

Most British women don't think twice about stripping off on topless/nude beaches abroad.
posted by humblepigeon at 5:47 AM on July 13, 2007


Americans aren't so much racist as they are shallow. This is an important distinction usually lost on the Europeans who tend to really actually hate one another (for reasons involving everything from centuries old grudges to religion and other deeply held convictions). America is indeed now sliding into a period of intense ideology and nationalism but, heck, maybe it's just our turn. One kind of wishes we didn't have such a large nuclear arsenal though.
posted by nixerman at 5:49 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


You ought to go out in Newcastle on a Saturday night. You'll find people fucking, pissing and even shitting against various walls.

Sounds grand.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:51 AM on July 13, 2007


Boyds Mills Press? Never heard of them. Perhaps the author should try Harper Collins, publishers of In The Night Kitchen.
posted by IndigoJones at 5:52 AM on July 13, 2007


Those people shitting, pissing and fucking against walls are probably not uninhibited sexually-open libertines. They're binge-drinking wastoids who have nary an unpickled brain cell. This is assuming Newcastle is like Broad Street in Birmingham.
posted by srboisvert at 5:59 AM on July 13, 2007


Ah, good point, IndigoJones: that's a great children's book from the great Maurice Sendak, with no shortage of penises in full, proud and valiant display!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 5:59 AM on July 13, 2007


humblepigeon, don't get me started on the weather this summer; it's been really awful. Just ask the people in Hull, who are still partially under water.
posted by chuckdarwin at 6:04 AM on July 13, 2007


In general, Americans are prudish.

Not only that, we're furtively prudish. For all our bravado and streetwise self-confidence and our surface-level obsession with sex , when it comes to possibilities for one-on-one (or two-on-one, or three-on-one) intimate contact, most Americans become clueless, guilty, bewildered children. There is still almost nothing you can do that's more threatening than genuinely and openly enjoying a functional life of sexual exploration and satisfaction. It's something everyone seems to want, but also something that everyone wants to see punished, in order to validate their own craven isolation.
posted by hermitosis at 6:11 AM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


MetaFilter: still partially under water.
posted by The Ultimate Olympian at 6:12 AM on July 13, 2007


It's something everyone seems to want, but also something that everyone wants to see punished, in order to validate their own craven isolation.

Hmmm, guess I'm not part of this "everyone": I never wanted to see anyone's sexuality punished, nor did I ever feel cravenly isolated. Maybe I'm not a real American?
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:14 AM on July 13, 2007


MetaFilter: in order to validate their own craven isolation.
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:16 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Milk in the batter! Milk in the batter!
posted by zamboni at 6:27 AM on July 13, 2007


For years, I was shocked at the ass on the Coppertone Tan
girl.
posted by doctorschlock at 6:35 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Flapjax, the most interesting thing about discussing America on MeFi is that the none of our American members seem to belong to it :)
posted by hermitosis at 6:43 AM on July 13, 2007


Those who would object to this mini-penis and cartoon feminalia, how would they justify it? "The children must not see this because..." Because?
posted by Prince Nez at 6:53 AM on July 13, 2007


Of course, humanity shares far more qualities than not, making the sport of defining national characteristics a slippery and even dangerous thing. But it is hard to deny that we Americans, in our public discourse and our present-day culture, have a disturbing penchant for smug hypocrisy, especially insofar as goes the depiction of the naked human body in art (and in porn).
posted by kozad at 6:53 AM on July 13, 2007


Flapjax, the most interesting thing about discussing America on MeFi is that the none of our American members seem to belong to it :)

Hee hee! S'pose you're right, hermitosis! But as an American who has lived continuously outside the US for 12 years now, with relatively short and infrequent trips back stateside over the course of those years, I'm starting to feel more and more like I really don't belong to it. It increasingly seems an odd and exotic place to me...
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:54 AM on July 13, 2007


Yeah, we're prudes. Totally.

Nudity is bad. Sex is EVIL. Violence, even extreme violence, is A-OK.

People are routinely shot and killed on prime time tv, CSI can show a man fucking decapitated by a train, but a half-second glimpse of wrinkled Jackson titty causes a national uproar and government fines.

How does that make any sense?

Hurray for Jesusland.
posted by LordSludge at 7:35 AM on July 13, 2007


It's perhaps worth pointing out that America is the biggest porn industry in the world. Maybe America is just a very big country?
posted by humblepigeon at 7:42 AM on July 13, 2007


That should be "America has the biggest porn industry...".

Sounds weird otherwise.

posted by humblepigeon at 7:45 AM on July 13, 2007


Maybe America is just a very big country?

Actually, no, it's a very, very small country. Tiny. Insignifigant. If you look in your atlas you might be able to find it, just off the coast of Cuba.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:48 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm part Turkish, part Irish. Thank the Lord I don't have any cultural/historical baggage, eh?
posted by Mister_A at 7:58 AM on July 13, 2007


I hate to derail back to the FPP, but what struck me about it was that it amounts to self censorship. The publisher didn't give the (possibly hypothetical) outraged cornbelt soccer moms a chance to object - they just went ahead and asked to censor it. As did srboisvert's brother's company. It seems like people get overanxious to avoid what they think might cause a scandal, even though there's a very good chance it probably wouldn't. My brother worked for a childrens' book publisher for several years (North-South Books) that specialized in importing European kids' books and there was plenty of cartoon nudity in books like this one, which I see is available in my local libraries with nary a peep of outrage. And this is the bible belt.

It's like everyone is sort of vaguely brainwashed to avoid any hint of controversy. The government doesn't have to censor us: we're busy censoring ourselves and it's ridiculous. I'm not saying that America isn't prudish, because it is, but I seriously doubt that the nudity in this book would have been noticed at all by anyone in this country if the publisher hadn't gone all weird about it.
posted by mygothlaundry at 7:59 AM on July 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Yes, mygothlaundry, I quite agree. This brings up the question, "why do we find the human form at all controversial?"
posted by Mister_A at 8:11 AM on July 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's really disappointing to read all the way through a thread and then the very last comment is the point that you wanted to make. Thanks for ruining my morning, mygothlaundry.
posted by camcgee at 8:22 AM on July 13, 2007


hey, you know who else had a mini-penis?

that's right ...
posted by pyramid termite at 8:30 AM on July 13, 2007


My wife comes from an extremely prudish Asian culture. In her homeland, America embodies sexuality. It's the United States of Madonnaland, Pamelandersonia and Annanicolesmithstan, peopled by half-naked, horny blondes with supernatural mammaries and outrageous sex lives.

Some folks are going to be very disappointed by that mini-penis story.
posted by elgilito at 8:44 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


In her homeland, America embodies sexuality

That's what's so ironic; we project our sexual energy and attention onto certain individuals or scenarios, blow them up to legendary proportions, but then all sit in the dark at night meditating on loneliness. "American" sexuality is all talk, we just happen to talk REALLY LOUD.
posted by hermitosis at 8:55 AM on July 13, 2007


"What is the fascination with my Forbidden Closet of Mystery?"
posted by kirkaracha at 9:02 AM on July 13, 2007 [4 favorites]


Boyds Mills Press? Never heard of them. Perhaps the author should try Harper Collins, publishers of In The Night Kitchen.

A book that had American librarians drawing shorts and diapers on the main character's nakedness.
posted by zarah at 9:20 AM on July 13, 2007


"Keep your Jesus off my penis and your bible off my balls.
Keep your prayers out of my ears and your crosses off my walls.
You can have the Virgin Mary and the Resurrection too.
Just keep your Jesus off my penis, and I'll keep my penis off of you."
posted by Debaser626 at 9:26 AM on July 13, 2007


Pamelandersonia - that would be British Columbia?
posted by stinkycheese at 9:28 AM on July 13, 2007


Oh, and as long as we're pointing fingers, what about the batshit insane folk in the Middle East? Touche (or Douche, whichever)
posted by Debaser626 at 9:31 AM on July 13, 2007


My brother worked for a grade school text book publisher and they removed udders from cows because they were worried that it would interfere with sales in the bible belt.

Please, please tell me that this happened after the development of Photoshop. Because the first time I read that comment....ugh. I'm picturing a pile of desiccating udders in a field of post-op recovering bovines, all for the sake of the delicate sensibilities in Lubbock, Texas.
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:37 AM on July 13, 2007


Sigh. The Europeans think we're prudes, and those in the Middle East and subcontinental Asia think we're immoral sex-obsessed heathens. Can't win.
posted by elmwood at 9:41 AM on July 13, 2007


To all the frauleins out there who appreciate cartoonish genitalia, my email is in my profile.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:45 AM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


The Europeans think we're prudes, and those in the Middle East and subcontinental Asia think we're immoral sex-obsessed heathens. Can't win.

We are sex-obsessed -- we're just afraid of that obsession. So it gets supressed, becomes more of an obsession, supress harder, etc.
posted by LordSludge at 10:03 AM on July 13, 2007


Please, please tell me that this happened after the development of Photoshop...
~sigh~You kids...There were many, many amazingly talented photo-retouchers working in those pre-digital decades, y'know. L
I do imagine the udder-removal was a post-Photoshop event, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 10:17 AM on July 13, 2007


"...all sit in the dark at night meditating on loneliness"

That didn't turn out as I thought it would. Masturbating should be in that phrase somewhere...
posted by From Bklyn at 10:59 AM on July 13, 2007


Yes, From Bklyn - you make us sound like a nation of Kierkegaaards.


Mmmm...nation of Kierkegaards...
posted by adamgreenfield at 11:38 AM on July 13, 2007


There are few taboos left in American media. One of the few that remain involves showing sex to children (or showing children in a presumed sexual light, which might cater to pedophiles). Another is the word "nigger," which even educated people writing in adult publications describe as the "n-word".

Of course, the censorship in question absurd, but the USA started down that slippery slope years ago
posted by QuietDesperation at 11:41 AM on July 13, 2007


adamgreenfield hermitosis was waxing Kierkegaardian. I was waxing onanistic.
posted by From Bklyn at 1:05 PM on July 13, 2007


If there's an international crime you can name, the Americans are guilty of it. They recently got in detainment without trial and torture. We Europeans were into that 500 years ago.

You know the saying. What is old becomes new again.

But frankly, we are a country that was largely settled by ultra-conservative protestant Christians looking to escape the debauchery and unbridled hedonism of the Europeans. And anyone is surprised that we have a wide array of sexual hangups from which to choose?

The idea that sex, and anything related to sex outside of procreation, is unclean and guaranteed to send you straight to the burning pits is so deeply ingrained in our collective psyche, I doubt that we'll ever be free of it. Today we exist in this semi-permanent state of psychosis where we sexualize our children, dwell on it incessantly in our media and use it to sell everything from cars to toothpaste ... but at the same time, tell people they are bad for thinking about it, looking at it, and even doing it unless it's in the state-approved missionary position.
posted by mstefan at 1:56 PM on July 13, 2007


Oooh! In the Night Kitchen! I've been trying for years to track that down! I never made the connection that it was another of Sendak's works. That book was pure porn for me as a kid, rousing strong - if not completely understood - sexual feelings.

Mickey (now wearing a bodysuit of batter from the neck down) constructs a working airplane out of dough to reach the mouth of a gigantic milk bottle. Using the plane, he flies up to the bottle's opening and dives in. After briefly revelling inside the liquid as his covering of batter disintegrates, he pours the needed milk in a cascade down to the bakers who joyfully finish making the morning cake.

With the dawn breaking, the naked Mickey crows like a rooster and slides down the bottle to magically return to his bed, with everything back to normal beyond the happy memory of his experience.


/bodysuit-of-batter fetishist
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:40 PM on July 13, 2007


Pamelandersonia - that would be British Columbia?

Regardless of her place of birth, globally speaking Pamela Anderson is about as Canadian as Bill Cosby.

(Cosby was the first to jump to mind because of the The Newsroom: "Take out the burn victims....I want a dog leaping for a Frisbee in a field. Replace the nuclear explosions with....Cosby. I love this!".)
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 3:55 PM on July 13, 2007


In The Night Kitchen. A book that had American librarians drawing shorts and diapers on the main character's nakedness.

Maybe so, but it was published. And awarded a Caldecott. And is still in print 37 years later.

(Glad I could help, UbiRoiVas. Was your copy from a library, by chance?)
posted by IndigoJones at 5:14 PM on July 13, 2007


I'll raise you a vaguely offensive ad for lubricant.

The "details" would be the sand and that she's positioned almost directly on where one of the black things would be, right?

I don't think any amount of lube is going to let most people do that.
posted by Many bubbles at 5:31 PM on July 13, 2007


Was your copy from a library, by chance?

No, it was a family copy, so it was probably passed on to one set of cousins, and later passed on to another & yet another.

Which means there's a whole bunch of us for whom pastry shops & batter offer a special spark of delight...
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:55 PM on July 13, 2007


humblepigeon writes "German racist c*nts"

Can'ts? Cents?
posted by krinklyfig at 7:12 PM on July 13, 2007


Last I checked -- which, truth told, was probably a decade ago -- The Night Kitchen was standard fare in BC elementary schools.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:28 PM on July 13, 2007


The publishers were probably thinking something like this: that they'd sell fewer books if they chose to publish this one. That loud stupid people (of which there are many in this country) would loudly boycott them for "peddling smut to the children." Or that they'd band together and cause a class action lawsuit!

Fear of lawsuits causes companies to make really silly decisions. But since there's money to be made on these books, I'd be surprised if another company -- with more confident lawyers -- didn't decide to give them a go.

Not sure why this turned into a whole "'mericans are ijits and germans eat poop" discussion, though. Some germans are ijits, and certainly some 'mericans eat poop, too.
posted by rouftop at 12:31 AM on July 14, 2007


I'm waiting for the day when America finally criminalizes breastfeeding as child sexual assault. Personally, my portfolio is going baby formula heavy tomorrow.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 3:27 AM on July 14, 2007


Not sure why this turned into a whole "'mericans are ijits and germans eat poop" discussion, though.

I know why. It's because Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America is a complete tool.
posted by The Monkey at 4:08 AM on July 14, 2007


We are sex-obsessed -- we're just afraid of that obsession. So it gets supressed, becomes more of an obsession, supress harder, etc.

Harder! Harder!
posted by oaf at 2:29 PM on July 14, 2007


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