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Running of the Not-So-Bright
July 13, 2007 2:41 PM   Subscribe

Bulls on Parade: Rage against the runners. Not for the squeamish (especially the first picture).
posted by scblackman (46 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Shamelessly lifted from Drudgereport. Forgive me.
posted by scblackman at 2:42 PM on July 13, 2007


Double ass shot.
posted by gottabefunky at 2:46 PM on July 13, 2007


Asshole.
posted by gottabefunky at 2:47 PM on July 13, 2007


Like Hemingway, I just watched.

What a lot of people don't pick up on is that they run the damn things a little after dawn, and everybody is drunk (extremely hung-over if they're lucky). If you took away the bulls, people would still get hurt.
posted by bardic at 2:48 PM on July 13, 2007


Shrug. Just cleaning out the gene pool.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 2:50 PM on July 13, 2007


LOLSPANIARDS. but yeah, i gasped out loud. jesus.
posted by shmegegge at 2:51 PM on July 13, 2007


LOLSPANIARDS.

Eh, more like the Spaniards laugh at the Americans and Germans and Aussies.
posted by bardic at 2:53 PM on July 13, 2007


That first shot is awesome.

To be perfectly honest, I'd love to take part in this some day.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:54 PM on July 13, 2007


Just what did these feebs think would happen? In bullfights, rodeos and especially the Running of the Bulls and Tourist Pricks, I'm fully rooting for the animal.

Also, I've always loved the phrase "gored by a bull" - it's just so wonderfully visceral.
posted by EatTheWeak at 2:54 PM on July 13, 2007


I love this sort of thing. I like to think of it as the bull's yearly payback for countless bull-fights.

My only real complaint is that matadors aren't required to participate. That would make it so much better.
posted by quin at 3:01 PM on July 13, 2007


Is anyone else getting Kathleen Turner for their last image? That's a great juxtaposition.
posted by brundlefly at 3:04 PM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


quin - I would have the utmost respect for matadors if they didn't drug and wound the bull before the fight. Pansies! Get in there and wrestle a healthy bull if you wanna look manly!
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:07 PM on July 13, 2007


Same here, EatTheWeak, but my enthusiasm is always dampened by the knowledge that those chuckleheads are probably already thinking about how their scars will impress chicks and mentally composing trite comments along the lines of "Bro, it was totally a worthwhile experience man, almost spiritual, never more alive dude, nowhutImean?".

*Waves my GO ANIMALS pennant all the same*
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 3:11 PM on July 13, 2007


It's only a flesh wound.
posted by StickyCarpet at 3:24 PM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh totally, ETW. I mean bulls are some big fucking animals, and if you are willing to step into a ring and go toe to hoof with one, where both of you are in your fighting prime... Well, to be honest, I'd think you were completely crazy, but I'd respect you.

But to hobble the animal by using drugs to keep it disoriented, and taking away it's ability to raise it's head so it can't gore you? Yeah, that some weak and cowardly shit. I have more respect for these nuts in Pamplona. I mean at least they are willing to play fair.
posted by quin at 3:27 PM on July 13, 2007


> I mean at least they are willing to play fair.

Absolutely. If bullfights were fair the bull would get the man, oh, 50% of the time.
posted by jfuller at 3:31 PM on July 13, 2007


Alvy - we can only hope the experience fosters a sense of overconfidence that leads them to try Combat Windsurfing or Cordless Xtreme Bungee Jumping.

quin - Word. Now this has me thinking of those milquetoasts who go "hunting" for fenced-in animals that they select beforehand. How on Earth could that scratch a primal itch? Under what deranged standards does that count as conquering something? Bull rings are little but wildly inefficient slaughterhouses operated by a single butcher in tight, shiny pants.
posted by EatTheWeak at 3:36 PM on July 13, 2007


Did anyone find it incongruous to read the touristbrouchery description under the series of pictures of some guy gettting mauled by a bull? [starts here]
posted by Kattullus at 3:52 PM on July 13, 2007


Few things in life are better than seeing an animal maiming thick humans.
posted by fire&wings at 4:03 PM on July 13, 2007


What's Spanish for schadenfreude? There's something just so wonderful about those brothers being simultaneously gored up the asshole by the same bull.

If only we could track back in time: "hey, dude, i've got the awesomest idea! let's go do that bullrun thing in spain!" "wicked hell, yeah! high-five!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:07 PM on July 13, 2007


Fucking stupid "sport". I hate this shit. I wish the bulls killed every last motherfucker that got in their way.
posted by vito90 at 4:08 PM on July 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


EatTheWeak: kinda eponysterical? But otherwise, word. "Milquetoast", I mean. That word.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:09 PM on July 13, 2007


Why has this been posted? Single link to a local news site in Los Angeles about an ostensibly pseudo-snuff story in Spain? One that is readily available on a yearly basis? Shamelessly lifted from the Drudge Report? What is this? Consumption Junction?

Forgive you!? Nigga, please.
posted by loquacious at 4:10 PM on July 13, 2007


This should keep you bull-lovers happy!
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:11 PM on July 13, 2007


Ubu - Were I worried about being eponysterical, I'd have to stay out of every thread on diet or nutrition.
posted by EatTheWeak at 4:35 PM on July 13, 2007


Bull-lover.
posted by quin at 4:36 PM on July 13, 2007


A friend of mine has a story about watching a bullfight in Spin. It's the first one he's been to, and he's far more disgusted and angered than he thought he'd be. Eventually, the matador, after much sticking, delivers a killing blow. The bull, an old sumbitch, knows he's done for and stumbles over and fetches the fancy-ass hat off the matador's head, then drops it to the ground. Then pisses all over it for like a minute. Then dies.
Pretty damn dignified. This is better though.
posted by Football Bat at 4:37 PM on July 13, 2007


I'd much rather participate in the Tomatina. Bulls are scary, tomatoes I can handle.
posted by piratebowling at 4:37 PM on July 13, 2007


Good for the bulls. Considering they always lose, at least they get to take a few fucking morons down with them. Here's to more people getting gored right up the ass.
posted by puke & cry at 4:38 PM on July 13, 2007


loquacious: Forgive you!? Nigga, please.

Can you please use a different slur? Geethanks.
posted by scblackman at 4:38 PM on July 13, 2007


I mean at least [the runners] are willing to play fair.

Nuts to that, the bulls have trouble running on the cobblestones, and they're already disoriented by the noise and all the stupid people milling about. I'd like to see one of those goobers try to outrun a pissed off thousand pound animal in a Canadian mid-spring. It's you and only you in the pen, hell, you were just trying to pour some damn oats into the stupid trough when Ferdinand up and decided that he didn't like the look of you and with an irate snort that cracks and echoes like the shot of a starter's pistol, rockets after you, and you're off and running even before the oat-bucket hits the ground, every step of your oversized and tractionless green rubber boots sinking five inches deep into a winter's worth of thawing piss, shit and straw which, in its own stanky morassian way, is more of an incentive not to trip and fall than the damn bull, whose breath you swear you can feel on the back of your neck, but you can't look back, not for one second, Christ, HOW FAR AWAY IS THAT GODDAMN FENCE, I'MNOTGONNAMAKEITOGODNOOOOO- oh... whoa, uh, sorry about that... sometimes - sometimes late at night - I can still hear the moos...

NEXT WEEK ON FARM FLASHBACKS: The Trouble With Chickens, or; "They're in the trees, man, the freaking trees!!!"
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:04 PM on July 13, 2007 [3 favorites]


This guy got off easy (warning: buttocks.)
posted by homunculus at 5:06 PM on July 13, 2007


An oldie but a goodie:

Joe traveled to Spain and wandered into a Madrid restaurant one night for a late dinner. He ordered the house specialty and was brought a plate with potatoes, corn, and two large meaty objects: O O

"What's this?" Joe asked.

"Cojones, senor," the waiter replied.

"But, what are cojones?" Joe asked.

"Cojones," the waiter explained, "are the testicles of the bull who lost at the arena this afternoon."

At first Joe was disgusted; but being the adventurous type, he decided to try this local delicacy. To Joe's amazement, it was quite delicious. In fact, it was so good, Joe decided to return the next night and order it again. This time, the waiter brought out the plate, but the meaty objects were much smaller: o o

"What's this?" Joe asked the waiter.

"Cojones, senor," the waiter replied.

"No, no," Joe objected, "I had cojones yesterday and they were much bigger than these."

"Senor," the waiter explained, "the bull does not always lose."

posted by aeschenkarnos at 5:07 PM on July 13, 2007


Dammit, aeschenkarnos, I was just about to tell that one.
posted by Faint of Butt at 5:17 PM on July 13, 2007


Tipper, not Gore Filter
posted by rob511 at 5:34 PM on July 13, 2007


every step of your oversized and tractionless green rubber boots sinking five inches deep into a winter's worth of thawing piss, shit and straw which, in its own stanky morassian way, is more of an incentive not to trip and fall than the damn bull, whose breath you swear you can feel on the back of your neck, but you can't look back, not for one second, Christ, HOW FAR AWAY IS THAT GODDAMN FENCE, I'MNOTGONNAMAKEITOGODNOOOOO

Meh. Just run at it, shouting.
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:47 PM on July 13, 2007


Yesterday's Slate Explainer was about being gored. "All things considered, the gluteus maximus isn't the worst place to take a sharp horn." Thirteen people have been killed in the running of the bulls since 1924.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:03 PM on July 13, 2007


Why does UbuRoivas's link take me to a BBC Doctor Who page?
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:23 PM on July 13, 2007


At least they get free, universal health care afterwards.
posted by fungible at 6:48 PM on July 13, 2007


potsmokinghippieoverlord: It redirects from http://www.aggedor.com/Paul_McGann/randy_bull.wmv.

In which Paul McGann runs at a randy bull, shouting, I presume.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 6:58 PM on July 13, 2007


homunculus: almost a hole in Juan
posted by hortense at 8:20 PM on July 13, 2007


Re: Those guys who got gored in the anus,
They spent a day running with the bulls, then 6 years with running of the bowels.
posted by mulligan at 11:17 PM on July 13, 2007


Wow, that really wasn't for the squeamish.
posted by poweredbybeard at 2:43 AM on July 14, 2007


That first photo is incredible. He's got over twelve inches of bull horn running straight through the leg. Unbelievable!
posted by furtive at 9:14 AM on July 14, 2007


And this is cruelty to animals?
posted by trbrts at 9:40 AM on July 14, 2007


In which Paul McGann runs at a randy bull, shouting, I presume.

Whoops, missed this. Yes, he does. Only it has nothing to do with Dr Who, other than the fact that it's the same actor.

The link was to a scene from the best movie of all time (YMMV), Withnail & I, in which Paul McGann runs at a randy bull, shouting.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:28 AM on July 16, 2007


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