Comments on: Fisted!

Fisted!

parmanparman — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:54:02 -0800

Home Made Sex Doll. Enough said, really. NSFW.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:55:54 -0800

Fuck me.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 10:59:28 -0800

What the fuck?

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:00:12 -0800

Fucking fuck fuck

By: liquorice

liquorice — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:00:58 -0800

Miss Right looks eerily like a Mister Right.

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:02:26 -0800

Hott. Anyone else think the finished products resemble the original Romero zombies from Dawn of the Dead? I'm not sure if this makes it more or less awesome.

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:04:22 -0800

It makes it more awesome, of course. Sheesh.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:07:35 -0800

Is anyone else bothered by the fact these dolls have two right hands?

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:10:08 -0800

Is this something I'd need a can of Crisco^(R) to understand?

By: spotty_dog

spotty_dog — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:12:21 -0800

Wow..... just wow.

By: ClanvidHorse

ClanvidHorse — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:12:56 -0800

Those vagina feet are just fucking odd.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:19:42 -0800

"...because fucking a decapitated head would be creepy."

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:20:42 -0800

Who knew the uncanny valley was so hot?

By: Turtles all the way down

Turtles all the way down — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:25:36 -0800

Quite a few useful tips in this article.

By: adamrice

adamrice — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:29:30 -0800

The finishing touch would be to hot-glue fake fur all over these.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:30:53 -0800

I used to work for a porn/sex toy distributor, so, while I'm not an authority on the subject,, I do have some things to add. a) All the components on these dolls are going to get VERY nasty indeed within a short period of time. Cyberskin has a tendency to break down when placed in contact with pretty much any other plastic (like the mannequin body) and will eventually deteriorate on its own, leaving a trail of foul smelling chemical slime in its wake. The non-cyberskin rubber is not much better, though it won't break down the same way. It still secretes disgusting oily ooze that isn't really good for you to be sticking your business in (or sticking in your business, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW.) b) Asses: There aren't any complete tushes that we're aware of He didn't look hard enough. I know we sold a variety of asses, including a complete casting of Nina Hartley's ass and vagina. c) For the cost of those components, which would run into the hundreds of dollars, one could obtain a sex doll with a similar set of components set into an inflatable doll. There was a Chasey Lain model that I remember in particular that had a full mannequin head with a battery operated tongue and creepy rubber hands and feet.

By: Firas

Firas — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:31:37 -0800

MetaFilter: Make sure you're really getting breasts modeled from a real woman, otherwise they will probably not be life-sized.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:35:09 -0800

b-b-battery op-op-operated toungue? The mind boggles. Do any of these have a pull chord operated voice? "Math is hard! Oh, wait, you're hard!"

By: prostyle

prostyle — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:37:03 -0800

I was hoping for something that involved a fifty year old arc welder, some soggy driftwood, a crusty oil barrel, naptha, steel wool and powdered aluminum.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:38:45 -0800

Pfft, all you really need are scissors, a couple of wire hangers, duct tape, some couch cushions and a wet/dry vac. You may want to get your mom or dad to help you with cutting the necessary holes in the couch cushions...

By: Sk4n

Sk4n — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:39:02 -0800

I used to work for a porn/sex toy distributor... We can just use IANAP/STD for short from now on then.

By: Mayor Curley

Mayor Curley — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:39:46 -0800

You could sell a lot of those in Germany.

By: Sk4n

Sk4n — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:40:06 -0800

I said STD, heh, heh...

By: Firas

Firas — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:40:37 -0800

maxwelton, don't lie: you wrote dialog for Star Wars didn't you?

By: tkchrist

tkchrist — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:40:43 -0800

You kids with the batteries and technology. What ever happened to using seedless melons?

By: DreamerFi

DreamerFi — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:40:48 -0800

Metafilter: we sold a variety of asses. I am so sorry...

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:48:13 -0800

Metafilter: ~~we sold~~ a variety of asses Fixed that for you.

By: Henry C. Mabuse

Henry C. Mabuse — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:50:33 -0800

I am not a porn/sex toy distributor, but I pretend to be one on the internets.

By: homodigitalis

homodigitalis — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:51:10 -0800

Creepy! Very creepy!

By: phaedon

phaedon — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:51:55 -0800

MetaFilter: Here's me with an unintentional look of shock on my face.

By: Wonderwoman

Wonderwoman — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 11:55:18 -0800

Fist!... I mean...

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:03:45 -0800

Davecat and his friends don't let people who make these sit at their lunch table.

By: MtDewd

MtDewd — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:09:44 -0800

battery operated tongue- does that taste like a 9V battery?

By: L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg

L. Fitzgerald Sjoberg — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:25:17 -0800

I think I'm more disturbed by the Popcorn Pocket Pussy, if only because I can be reasonably sure that people won't be bringing their Frankensluts to the theater and sitting next to me during Ratatoullie.

By: milarepa

milarepa — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:25:50 -0800

This post has evoked intense feelings in me. Strange, new, exciting feelings.

By: phaedon

phaedon — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:29:07 -0800

Sex Dolls for Dogs.

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:32:41 -0800

I'm afraid they left out one key component of this project (SFW).

By: FelliniBlank

FelliniBlank — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:36:13 -0800

Sex Dolls for Dogs. Is it me, or is that spaniel having carnal relations with Chelveston the duck?

By: Ambrosia Voyeur

Ambrosia Voyeur — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:39:40 -0800

via.

By: NationalKato

NationalKato — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:42:11 -0800

I've had one of these for years. Her name is Hanes, which I admit isn't as sexy as other female names, but it is written right there on her cottony, white skin. And after all these years, she hasn't lost a bit of her elastic form. Ahhh, Miss Hanes, you dirty girl.

By: maxwelton

maxwelton — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 12:43:47 -0800

Firas, un-un-uncredited, alas.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 13:04:35 -0800

You kids with the batteries and technology. What ever happened to using seedless melons? You would deny mefites their fruitless lovelives?

By: The Straightener

The Straightener — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 13:06:48 -0800

I doubt that these dolls can accomplish anything that a starved dog and a jar of Skippy can't.

By: b_thinky

b_thinky — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 13:11:44 -0800

I WILL NEVER, EVER, EVER GO TO THE MOVIES AGAIN without one of these

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 13:34:32 -0800

It must be said: DO NOT WANT

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:03:52 -0800

I'd hit it.

By: jonmc

jonmc — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:05:00 -0800

Those vagina feet are just fucking odd. Don't pussyfoot around, tell us how you feel.

By: asuprenant

asuprenant — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:32:22 -0800

One: cut a hole in the popcorn tub Two: put your junk in that popcorn tub Three: make her open the popcorn tub And that's the way you do it...

By: TypographicalError

TypographicalError — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:38:33 -0800

By: porpoise

porpoise — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:53:05 -0800

The Straightener - I doubt that these dolls can accomplish anything that a starved dog and a jar of Skippy can't. But the odds of having your Johnson bitten off are much much lower with the Frankenslut.

By: dgaicun

dgaicun — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:55:25 -0800

Yunno, being able to inconspicuously stick your monkey into a popcorn tub and being able to inconspicuously thrust your monkey into a popcorn tub are two entirely different things. Back to the sextoy guerrilla drawing boards, Pee-wee.

By: rdone

rdone — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:15:47 -0800

Metafilter: the odds of having your Johnson bitten off are much much lower with the Frankenslut.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 15:29:15 -0800

Okay if you're gonna spend this much time and money in making a fake whore, just save up your money and get a real one. Maybe this would be sexually stimulating for engineers who spend their time building stuff anyway. To me this just looks like work. Asking a girl out on a date sounds a lot easier, and less expensive. Although admittedly it's not so much a sure thing. So. Okay. This is for engineers with no social skills. Am I getting warm?

By: Firas

Firas — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:00:38 -0800

Oh come on ZachsMind. I've never used anything like an artificial vagina much less an artificial body (unless you're talking about Aunt Palm and her five daughters &c.) but although you may have a point about getting a 'real whore', a realdoll doesn't compare to fucking an actual person in terms of the rational choices one makes to get to either end (that is to say they're hardly substitutes in terms of the -- excuse the phrase -- barrier to entry.) Real girls need at least some cognitive attention to their person beyond their use as orifices. It's a whole different ball game so to speak. It's disingenous to pretend otherwise.

By: The corpse in the library

The corpse in the library — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:05:00 -0800

I don't think they'll ever form the close relationships with their mannequins that these men do with their Real Dolls.

By: Avenger

Avenger — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:11:01 -0800

So is it just me or has Metafilter become Sex Doll Links HQ for the internet? not that I'm complaining, mind you

By: PHINC

PHINC — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:19:20 -0800

"We tried to rebuild the sex doll but we had no frame of reference really...."

By: ninjew

ninjew — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 16:56:44 -0800

That's way more than mildly disturbing.

By: dirtynumbangelboy

dirtynumbangelboy — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:00:54 -0800

Those who know me will understand the gravity of this statement: I have absolutely no words to describe my reaction to this.

By: FormlessOne

FormlessOne — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:34:17 -0800

Metafilter: Because even Fark requires greenlighting. Seriously, is this the best we can do now?

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 18:40:14 -0800

One of the strangest sex toy mutations we've ever seen is a masturbator shaped like a woman's foot, with a fuckable vagina on the sole. Yes, a vagina on the sole of the foot. I think it might even be accurate to state that I have never conceived of a vagina being located any other place than where one usually finds them located. A vagina in a foot? There is a strange genius to that sort of thinking. It is, in my opinion, a truly brilliant idea. Still, I'm glad it wasn't my idea.

By: maus

maus — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 18:40:34 -0800

The final product looks sort of like how I imagine the first-generation sexbots will look like. Except they'll have visor eyes!

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 18:45:08 -0800

I have absolutely no words to describe my reaction to this. Not even... "Meh."?

By: lekvar

lekvar — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:26:01 -0800

One of the strangest sex toy mutations we've ever seen is a masturbator shaped like a woman's foot, with a fuckable vagina on the sole. Be the first on your block to fuck the stigmata!

By: Julnyes

Julnyes — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:34:02 -0800

I don't think they'll ever form the close relationships with their mannequins that these men do with their Real Dolls. posted by The corpse in the library at 7:05 PM on July 16 [+] [!] That was one of the saddest things I have ever seen. I couldn't even sit through it all.

By: mattoxic

mattoxic — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:47:59 -0800

The facial expressions on Mr & Ms Right are terrific. They look appalled, horrified even, as if to say, 'NO WAY, you've gotta be fucking kidding'

By: OrangeDrink

OrangeDrink — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:51:35 -0800

with a fuckable vagina on the sole. I can't reduce the list to just one pun.

By: jefbla

jefbla — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 19:51:35 -0800

You kids with the batteries and technology. What ever happened to using seedless melons? They've got instructions for that as well.

By: Burhanistan

Burhanistan — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:28:09 -0800

Vaginas would be better on walls and furniture than feet. One could have a Vagina Wall and invite friends over. And that brief second or so that I dared to glimpse at that mannequin was enough to burn the image into my brain. Damn you!

By: Kickstart70

Kickstart70 — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:30:31 -0800

These are (metaphorically) screaming for stop-motion animation.

By: anthill

anthill — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 20:37:27 -0800

Sounds like Hate Song is on-topic once again. Bagina! (NSFW, obviously)

By: 235w103

235w103 — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:09:01 -0800

The facial expressions on Mr & Ms Right are terrific. They look appalled, horrified even, as if to say, 'NO WAY, you've gotta be fucking kidding' WE WERE NEVER MEANT TO BE!

By: porpoise

porpoise — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 21:18:55 -0800

five fresh fish - the nerve connections of the body map to specific anatomic parts of the brain re: the cortical homunculus*. Interestingly, the nerve connections from the genitals are very very close to the areas from the feet; some speculate that this jjuxtaposition of wiring gives rise to foot fetishism in some people. And I got my first (that I know of) "Metafilter: xxx" *One of the things that really fascinates me is that if one loses a finger to, say, an accident, the adjacent fingers become more sensitive and the corresponding brain regions "take over" the region that the lost finger takes up (which has been pretty authoritatively proven in non-human primate experiments, also). I've heard anecdotes of para- and quadra-palegic people who lose sensitivity below the waist and subsequently develop hyper-erotic nipples - which would be consistent with the degree of plasticity that the human brain is capable of. Er... Go ~~Self~~ ~~Inanimate~~ Love!

By: Many bubbles

Many bubbles — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 22:16:23 -0800

Metafilter: Who knew the uncanny valley was so hot?

By: Many bubbles

Many bubbles — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 22:23:51 -0800

And imagine trying to sneak the popcorn into the theater, with their general discouragement of outside food. "Oh, no--this isn't for eating, it's for fucking."

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 00:11:21 -0800

This is an icky fpp.

By: louche mustachio

louche mustachio — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 01:03:51 -0800

Anticipation.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 01:40:17 -0800

What ever happened to using seedless melons? they're not seedless if you reuse them

By: roygbv

roygbv — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:11:50 -0800

They have the Borat fist!

By: The Monkey

The Monkey — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 03:30:53 -0800

I know it's already been said but... THAT FOOT HAS A VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!

By: sveskemus

sveskemus — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 04:41:43 -0800

Oh my god.

By: mkultra

mkultra — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 08:08:26 -0800

Popcorn Pussy's got nothing on Dick in a Box. One of the strangest sex toy mutations we've ever seen is a masturbator shaped like a woman's foot, with a fuckable vagina on the sole. They call it the "Cronenberg Special".

By: vewystwange

vewystwange — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 18:32:04 -0800

Does anyone else think the "DIY flashlight sex toy" on the sidebar is not worth the trouble? The whole idea of the Lay's potato chip can as a homemade fleshlight is just not going to work because #1) It looks silly, not sexy, and #2) real Lay's would be devoured in 5 nanoseconds. Your can-o-love could be discovered by a buddy with the munchies, negating the benefit of having a supersecret sex toy in a special hidey place. Of course, if you have a homemade sex doll in the closet, you're probably not worried about about that kind of thing. Flashlights are much more sexy.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:16:19 -0800

If desired, use a pink or red marker to draw a vagina or lips on the foam around the center hole before covering the foam with the condom. Yeah right, like he usually doesn't just run upstairs and borrow his mom's lipstick.

By: five fresh fish

five fresh fish — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:30:05 -0800

I simply can't imagine a self-service hand job not fulfilling the function perfectly well.

By: SisterHavana

SisterHavana — Tue, 17 Jul 2007 20:36:07 -0800

Are you ready for some football?

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 13:48:10 -0800

This is probably the funniest picture I've seen in awhile.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 13:48:34 -0800

I mean, a mustache? But WHY?

By: Mitheral

Mitheral — Wed, 18 Jul 2007 16:13:38 -0800

We did find a smaller female fist, and some Cyberskin hands for jerking off. What the hell is the point of the cyberskin hands? The only thing I could think of is they're for using on guys you wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole.