Harry Potter and the Red Herring

July 17, 2007 6:02 PM

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows recently leaked on a few torrent sites... or did it? Security measures taken included pallets of books protected by alarms, baited lawyers, and even delivery trucks with satellite tracking, which seems at odds with this UPS delivery truck stacked with loose boxes 5 days before they are to be delivered. A spokeswoman at Scholastic, the book's US publisher, said "she was aware of at least three different versions of the file 'that look very convincing' with what she described as 'conflicting content.'" So what's real and what's fake? We'll just have to wait and see.
posted by jwells (124 comments total)

SNAKE KILLS BUMBLEBEE

FACT: I know nothing about Harry Potter. I just want to belong.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:05 PM on July 17, 2007 [12 favorites has favorites]

I think you just gave away the ending to the Transformers movie.
posted by Astro Zombie at 6:06 PM on July 17, 2007 [7 favorites has favorites]

If I was Scholastic, I'd seed about a dozen false leaks, burying in actual leaks under noise.
posted by docgonzo at 6:12 PM on July 17, 2007

I can confirm they leaked. I'm looking at it right now.

Got it from here.

It's literally 400+ jpgs of a guy taking pictures of each page of the book. It's barely readable. However, if you're desperate to know what happens, there it is.
posted by empath at 6:12 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

All the torrent sites have a fake torrent, btw.
posted by empath at 6:13 PM on July 17, 2007

I want to know what happens, but I would rather wait for the official release. It would be like sneaking into the closet and opening your Christmas present early, which I suppose some people enjoy. But for me, half of the fun is all the hubub. I'm going to go down to Barnes and Noble for the release the night before. Yes, I am a dork.
posted by jiiota at 6:15 PM on July 17, 2007

Fuck Harry Potter: the first chapter of CROOKED LITTLE VEIN now available for your perusal.
posted by homunculus at 6:17 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

I downloaded this to my iPhone yesterday.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:18 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

The Book of Heaven looks good, too.
posted by homunculus at 6:21 PM on July 17, 2007

Man, if Harry Potter dies I am sooo not going to care.
posted by inconsequentialist at 6:22 PM on July 17, 2007

It turns out Hogwarts is a insane asylum.
posted by Citizen Premier at 6:26 PM on July 17, 2007 [14 favorites has favorites]

It's literally 400+ jpgs of a guy taking pictures of each page of the book. It's barely readable. However, if you're desperate to know what happens, there it is.

I think you've been had, last night there were (at least) 2 sets of pictures of books purporting to be the Harry Potter novel that were posted to 4chan. Problem was that both books were completely different from each other. Apparently some people have enough time on their hands to write a completely fake book, typeset it just like the rest of the novels, print it, and take pictures of themselves paging through it.
posted by TungstenChef at 6:26 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Dude....the wierd looking redheaded kid almost dies, but then the cute little button girl saves him and the big fat hippie dude almost buys it but the Gandalf and the kid who was just nude on stage in London like totally saves the day and everyone lives happily something something.

Meanwhile, I just read that they're actually packaging the Potter books in adult covers, so older folks who read childrens' books in public won't be embarassed???
posted by nevercalm at 6:31 PM on July 17, 2007

Fuck Harry Potter: the first chapter of CROOKED LITTLE VEIN now available for your perusal.

I'll take what's behind door number three.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:33 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Meanwhile, I just read that they're actually packaging the Potter books in adult covers

Adult covers? As in, "Harry Does Houston?" Because I'm gonna walk around downtown flipping through THAT...
posted by NotMyselfRightNow at 6:36 PM on July 17, 2007

I thought the same thing, but no....just covers that are, for lack of a better term, "age appropriate." Perhaps not with cartoons of wizards and whatnot on the cover.
posted by nevercalm at 6:39 PM on July 17, 2007

Apparently some people have Scholastic has enough time on their hands to write a completely fake book, typeset it just like the rest of the novels, print it, and take pictures of themselves paging through it.

Yup, sounds about right.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 6:42 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Apparently some people have enough time on their hands to write a completely fake book

Ye-ahh, one or two (thousand) Harry Potter people might indeed have that kind of time on their hands. On the other hand, it could really be the book...a guy I know who runs a public library claims to have received one that he had to sign a non-disclosure agreement over. Not that I can imagine anyone who received the book in such a fashion so much as dreaming of breaking the Sacred Trust of J.K. Rowling. Preposterous!
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:42 PM on July 17, 2007

This is incredible. Dogs? Guards? For a paper manuscript? I would have assumed they had some kind of digital encryption scheme, but instead they relied on these old fashioned methods.

Live by UPS die by UPS.
posted by damn dirty ape at 6:43 PM on July 17, 2007

Well I didn't actually read the thing.. Let me skim through it and see if it looks like JK Rowling's style...
posted by empath at 6:44 PM on July 17, 2007

Sounds like they are trying their hardest to get me to not buy the damn book. The more hype something gets the less interested I am in it. I found the other books to be decent, but nothing to get a hard on about, even have one or two in paper back somewhere.

My evolution of not caring/avoid things:

Fuck ET
Fuck Titanic
Fuck the Iphone and
Fuck Harry Potter #7

not that anyone gives a rat's ass about my preference.
posted by edgeways at 6:44 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

anyone willing to take me up on a bet of what happens?
posted by pokermonk at 6:45 PM on July 17, 2007

anyone willing to take me up on a bet of what happens?

Everybody DIES.
posted by kittens for breakfast at 6:48 PM on July 17, 2007

Okay, I think it may actually be a fake.

Hmm.. It's giving me a headache to try to read it, but I think it might be fan-fic.

If it is, then somebody has way too much time on their hands.
posted by empath at 6:50 PM on July 17, 2007

anyone willing to take me up on a bet of what happens?

J. K. Rowling buys another Rolls Royce off the royalities?
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 6:52 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

*takes careful note of edgeways' not-caring list*
*vows to keeps close tabs on edgeways for future hot stock tips*
posted by lekvar at 6:53 PM on July 17, 2007

"Adult" Harry Potter covers. Adult as in for adults, not pornographic.
posted by puke & cry at 6:57 PM on July 17, 2007

You know, if Rowling had any backbone and sense of humor (and really good bodyguards), she would have flat-out refused to write a seventh book and just sat back and watched the entire fucking world flip out.
posted by FelliniBlank at 6:57 PM on July 17, 2007 [9 favorites has favorites]

Do you love Harry Potter, but think you're too old and too awesome to be seen reading the books?

We have the solution, my friend. Print these out and you can safely read your Potter in front of all those ex Navy SEALS at the local strip club.
posted by puke & cry at 7:00 PM on July 17, 2007 [29 favorites has favorites]

The whole thing is insane. If They had actually wanted everyone to get their copy at the same time, they would have done it over the internet. Pay $200, you get a digital download and a coupon for a hardcopy of the book. The day of release, you get your download, then go out and buy the book at your leisure.

What they actually want to do is create long lines and an "event" in order to hype their product even more.
posted by delmoi at 7:01 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Okay, I've searched for random bits of text from the version that i have and have come up empty except for websites referencing the same leaked file that I have.

Some sites suggested that the leaked version is one of two different fan-fic novels, but the chapter ones are very different.

I think the link I posted is the real deal.
posted by empath at 7:01 PM on July 17, 2007

On the other hand, it could really be the book...a guy I know who runs a public library claims to have received one that he had to sign a non-disclosure agreement over.

Here's the last image in the set I just found. (No content, just the back cover.) See the two pieces of tape holding on a clear plastic dustcover? They do that at public libraries.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 7:01 PM on July 17, 2007

Hermione Dies
posted by rxrfrx at 7:07 PM on July 17, 2007

Spoiler: Aeris dies.
posted by JHarris at 7:13 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Rosebud was the name of his broom.
posted by fleetmouse at 7:26 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

I've been thinking about starting a betting pool on how many hours after the official release before a summary of the book's plot appears on Wikipedia. My money's on 12 hours, but it's possible it could be as little as 6.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 7:29 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

My guess will be the night before.
posted by empath at 7:31 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

anyone willing to take me up on a bet of what happens?

Yeah. I've got it on good authority that a little kid (aka a Muggle) shakes a snow globe ... and a naked Harry wakes up in bed with Suzanne Pleshette and Bob Newhart!!!
posted by ericb at 7:33 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

empath -

Well, I'll have to look it up when I get home so I can offer an opinion. Can't do it from Tor through work, and the standard work has apparently downloaded too much from MegaDownload...
posted by Samizdata at 7:36 PM on July 17, 2007

Oh -- and Sam chooses to remain behind the bar at Cheers, instead of marrying Diane.
posted by ericb at 7:36 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Voldemort is Keyser Soze.
posted by JHarris at 7:39 PM on July 17, 2007 [5 favorites has favorites]

My real best bet on what happens in the last book is that Hogwarts is somehow forced to "come out," and the "straights" (muggles?) learn about magic. This would be the only way for Rowling to really kill the series without, say, making all the characters get married.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:39 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

I'd take on any wager about what happens, because I have this huge Theory with a capital T about the sixth book's misdirection.

Man, do I sound like a geek now
posted by misha at 7:40 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

In the final shot, we just see Hagrid standing in the corner of the cellar before the camera falls. . . .
posted by FelliniBlank at 7:41 PM on July 17, 2007

The books are all contaminated with E. Coli and it's too late for them to turn the trucks around, so don't lick your fingers when you turn the pages.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:43 PM on July 17, 2007

Ummm, standard work connection, even...
posted by Samizdata at 7:44 PM on July 17, 2007

Do Rowling's publishers have special enforcement agreements with reviewers who get advance proofs? Ordinarily it's pretty hard to insure that uncorrected proof copies won't get out into the wild; for example, the other day eBay had two people selling proofs of Terry Pratchett's forthcoming novel Making Money. I imagine his publishers are less draconian than Rowling's, but still...
posted by Creosote at 7:44 PM on July 17, 2007

I just downloaded the HP book, just out of curiosity. And I'm not familiar with her writing, but whoever took these pics is a sadist. Seriously, It's just barely large enough to read, and really uncomfortable.
posted by delmoi at 7:46 PM on July 17, 2007

anyone willing to take me up on a bet of what happens?

Everybody DIES.

So Rowling is following in Tarantino's footsteps in imitating Woo?
posted by porpoise at 7:50 PM on July 17, 2007

Is this post missing a "methylviolet" tag?
posted by maxwelton at 7:52 PM on July 17, 2007

The last page just ends in the middle of a sentence.

Don't stop believin', kids!
posted by aaronetc at 8:07 PM on July 17, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Harry actually dreamed the whole rescue, and is really still in the torture chamber.

Oh, and Hermoine is a man.
posted by pompomtom at 8:13 PM on July 17, 2007

There, I just saved you two long boobless hours.
posted by puke & cry at 8:17 PM on July 17, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Monday night, my bar trivia team's name was "Hermione kills Draco on Page 506".
posted by enfa at 8:20 PM on July 17, 2007 [11 favorites has favorites]

The correct answer is: it's all fake.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 8:21 PM on July 17, 2007

Um, she calls it "Hallows."

Mr. Edgeways, I am in agreement with your outlook, although I try to distance myself from f--- verbiage.
posted by wallstreet1929 at 8:32 PM on July 17, 2007

The last page:

Don't look over your shoulder: there's a mad killer with a hatchet outside the window, staring at you.
posted by KokuRyu at 8:36 PM on July 17, 2007

Seeing as what a lovely young woman Emma Watson has turned out to be, I'm hoping JK included a steamy shower scene with the girls of Gryffindor. I'm thinking the sexual tension of the girl's school in Picnic at Hanging Rock tempered with the reserve and dignity of Porky's.
posted by maxwelton at 8:41 PM on July 17, 2007

Noooo Draco must LIVE to be REDEEMED!
posted by Hildegarde at 8:44 PM on July 17, 2007

Rocks fall. Everyone dies.
posted by FunkyHelix at 8:48 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

The last page just ends in the middle of a sentence.

Not in the version empath linked too.
posted by delmoi at 9:07 PM on July 17, 2007

Noooo Draco must LIVE to be REDEEMED!

In empath's copy, nothing like that happens on page 506.
posted by delmoi at 9:08 PM on July 17, 2007

I'm kid of surprised that given the magnitude of the book they didn't just pull a "Who Shot JR" and deliberately release fake excerpts to screw around with everyone. At this point I don't understand how you could be sure you'd been "spoiled" from what someone said in a crowd or on the internet.

Anyway, I've never read the books but my sister's a diehard fan. She's taken Friday off to get the book at midnight and spend the day reading it. I completely understand now, because it's quite clear that if you're that into the books you pretty much HAVE to buy the book and read it this weekend before everyone starts letting it slip on Monday.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 9:15 PM on July 17, 2007

harry potter is tragic.

i say this from the perspective of a bookseller. it's pretty depressing to watch a thousand idiots pile into a bookstore and drool over a pile of crap when they're surrounded by thousands of titles actually worth reading, things people should be reading. at first it was great to see kids excited about reading, but somewhere along the line, after the third or fourth episode of this mania, it changed.
posted by dopamine at 9:38 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

ugh. having just pounded books 5 and 6, chapter one feels like fanfic...final judgement withheld, though.
posted by milestogo at 9:42 PM on July 17, 2007

Hagrid IS er... whatshisname... VoldEmort!!!

wallstreet1929, I understand, I find as I get older I curse and swear more and more. At this rate by the time I'm 50 it'll just be one long non-stop curse. *sigh* I really should run off to that monastery and become a buddhist monk like I wanted to.
posted by edgeways at 9:55 PM on July 17, 2007

Dopamine,

Seriously, what SHOULD kids be reading? List some examples. I've read the Potter books, and they seem pretty on the level, at least as good as Treasure Island, Peter Pan, Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NIMH, the Silver Crown, the Dark is Rising, and all those other young adult novels that they had in my elementary school library....
posted by ELF Radio at 10:12 PM on July 17, 2007

I just finished reading the one I downloaded. Harry takes Hermoine's place at the guillotine, Snape pushes some kid named Piggy off a cliff, and then they all wake up in Kansas.

I think this is a fake, and has been stitched together from other books. Whoah -- there's Waldo!
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:16 PM on July 17, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

So that's where the rat bastard is, he owes me $5
posted by edgeways at 10:19 PM on July 17, 2007

ELF Radio:

Clearly, 11-year-olds should be lining up for the newest translation of Hermann Broch's The Sleepwalkers, perhaps picking up the catalog from the Joseph Beuys exhibit at the Guggenheim. The kids could keep themselves awake singing French madrigals. An enterprising youth could make a nifty business walking up and down the line selling tapas.

Or they could sit at home and practice simultaneously pinching all their orifices just because a bunch of kids like some fantasy books.
posted by argybarg at 10:46 PM on July 17, 2007 [7 favorites has favorites]

Waiting in line? What line? The Night Bus comes to my door tomorrow morning. So I like the books. Life is nicer when you don't have to like or dislike according to some notion of 'fashion'.

One of the books, I don't recall which one, was so big, we elected not to read it, but instead downloaded it, for reading on PDAs. That worked surprisingly well. Of course, being honest, and not wishing to put Ms. Rowling into the poor house, we bought a copy, too (after the price was deeply discounted).
posted by Goofyy at 10:54 PM on July 17, 2007

J. K. Rowling buys another Rolls Royce off the royalities?

Anyone who writes 700 page books that children want to read - that children can't wait to read - deserves a Nobel prize and all the money she can collect.

Pirates who disrupt this market should be hanged from the yardarms.
posted by three blind mice at 11:09 PM on July 17, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

Voldemort is Keyser Soze.
posted by JHarris
WRONG!
Spoiler alert:
Don't read this if you want to wait for the book, but Voldemort is actually quonsar whose name must not be said aloud..
posted by Cranberry at 11:09 PM on July 17, 2007

We find out Hagrid was duclod all along...
posted by KokuRyu at 11:47 PM on July 17, 2007

i don't know what's crazier- jk rowling writing 700 pages of a bloated kids book or more than one fan writing over 600 pages of potter fanfic that's just milkd porn.
posted by kendrak at 11:54 PM on July 17, 2007

After the release there will be some really interesting articles about the security measures taken by the publisher--including apparently fake torrents flooded onto the peer-sharing networks?
posted by LarryC at 11:58 PM on July 17, 2007

Seriously, what SHOULD kids be reading? List some examples. I've read the Potter books, and they seem pretty on the level, at least as good as Treasure Island, Peter Pan, Mrs. Frisbee and the Rats of NIMH, the Silver Crown, the Dark is Rising, and all those other young adult novels that they had in my elementary school library....

I tend to agree with the sentiment of your statement - I don't think Harry Potter is very *sophisticated* or high-level writing, but I do think it's not a bad choice. Heck, I don't think it's 'too simplistic' or trashy for adults to read; not everything has to be art.

That said, I think that Peter Pan and the Dark is Rising series have a level of literary worth that goes beyond Harry Potter (and possibly the others in that list, too, as I don't really remember them. Except for NIMH - like HP, it's a fun book/series, but not a lot of depth).
posted by spaceman_spiff at 12:42 AM on July 18, 2007

I agree with spaceman_spiff, though admittedly based on reading just a few bits of my nephew's copies of the books.
Rowling seems almost entirely a pastiche of 30s Billy Bunter-style public school books mixed with various themes robbed from elsewhere. It's a wizard school without the magic, and not a patch on Ged growing to manhood in Le Guin or whatever. But no doubt I'm just a grouchy old snob.
Still, perhaps they represent a better introduction to the modern world, where mediocrity and hype will be encountered more often than wonder and inspiration.
posted by Abiezer at 1:33 AM on July 18, 2007

I have a tame Harry Potter fan here who has been reading the torrent version (the photographs of the book) and confirms that it is indeed a 'good read' (of the level of the other Potter books, that is) and that it is definitely in the style of JK Rowling. He has no doubt that it is in fact real, he dismisses the idea that it could be an elaborate fanfic. Someone could put together a bound fanfic, sure, but successfully copying Rowling's style as well would be next to impossible under those circumstances, I think. Occam's Razor, & all.

That is not to say that there might not be other fake images out there, muddying the waters, but the version that first hit the torrent sites (originally without the ending but then 're-upped' with ending) is apparently real, according to Uncle Big Bad.

I don't read 'em, however, I think Rowling's prose is shit, so take it for what it is worth.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 1:40 AM on July 18, 2007

Not sure if its been mentioned, but actual photos of every page have appeared on the torrents now... The txt file was fanfic, but this is the real thing.

Awful quality and the perp's hand is in shot... perhaps the FBI can use some kind of high tech fingerprint thingy to catch him/her (efeminate fingernails.... ;)

Oh and Dumbledore comes back to life! I just made that up.
posted by Meccabilly at 1:46 AM on July 18, 2007

and not a patch on Ged growing to manhood in Le Guin or whatever

...though if we want to compare Earthsea and Harry Potter, it would be pretty great if Rowling came back to the series decades later: middle-aged janitor Harry who can't do magic any more, mopping platform 9 & 3/4 and then having awkward middle-aged sex with Cho or Hermione or whoever happens to be a widow at this point.

Also, that revelation that all the wizards of Earthsea use magic to keep from having erections? Awesome.
posted by ScotchLynx at 1:53 AM on July 18, 2007

goodnewsfortheinsane writes "SNAKE KILLS BUMBLEBEE"

John Carpenter's Escape From Cybertron
posted by brundlefly at 2:14 AM on July 18, 2007

I agree with LarryC: "After the release there will be some really interesting articles about the security measures taken by the publisher--including apparently fake torrents flooded onto the peer-sharing networks?"

Hiding wood in the forest? This would seem to be the best way to prevent the book appearing on torrents after it is released: just before release, flood with fake versions such that the real one, when it does inevitably appear, will be unfindable.

Re some of the other comments, children reading Harry Potter is all fine and well, but adults going crazy over it is kind of depressing.
posted by spherical_perceptions at 2:27 AM on July 18, 2007

ScocthLynx - I never did read that later addition to the Earthsea stories. I did read that Le Guin was basing her idea of magic on Daoist practices, so the connection with male sexual function would seem to be a good fit. All that internal ejaculation and whatnot.
I'd definitely be more interested in an older Harry-as-Chinaski character than what I here about his currrent adventures. get on it; I expect the torrent by the weekend!
posted by Abiezer at 2:28 AM on July 18, 2007

hear/here. How do I do that?
posted by Abiezer at 2:29 AM on July 18, 2007

After a long, intense battle, Voldemort succeeds in killing Harry. He notices Hermione, Ron and Hagrid, and prepares to attack them as well...but the G-Man appears, and says the main objective was completed, which opens the way for newer contracts. The remaining three are irrelevant, now that the creature controlling them ("Harry") has been disposed.
posted by Smart Dalek at 3:46 AM on July 18, 2007

Metafilter: My wife read one page, screamed, and grew a cock.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 5:02 AM on July 18, 2007

Seriously, what SHOULD kids be reading?

BIGGLES!!

I'll get me coat...
posted by pompomtom at 5:08 AM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

On a private site I know of, there is a scene release out as of 3am eastern with the first 10 chapters of the jpg's transcribed. Reports indicate that it matches the text in the jpg's accurately, though there are some transcription errors. I wouldn't be surprised if we see a full text release later today.
posted by enfa at 5:29 AM on July 18, 2007

As an adult who reads a lot of kids' books for fun...Harry Potter books are not the best, but they are pretty good. And no, they're not as good as Peter Pan--I don't know how anyone could even compare them in quality, they're too different--but they're surely much more accessible to young readers than Peter Pan, which was written in 1911 (the play was written in 1904). But yes, there are many, many better books for children.

Objectively, these books are not good enough to justify the insane phenomenon of all ages being so obsessed. But objectively, there don't exist any books that are that good. There are many things other than quality of writing going on here.

But a travesty? Come on. People like them. They're allowed to like them. As hard as it is to believe, kids can read these books and also read other books as well!!! Not every book a person reads in their lifetime has to be the best book ever.
posted by lampoil at 5:29 AM on July 18, 2007

"And J.K. Rowlings lived wealthily ever after. THE END."
posted by The Card Cheat at 6:35 AM on July 18, 2007

After skimming my advance copy, I'll tell you this much: Around the time Harry gets on his motorcycle to perform one last jump, the book gets pretty old, pretty fast.
posted by robocop is bleeding at 7:01 AM on July 18, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

*hopes for a hermione sex scene*
posted by craven_morhead at 8:23 AM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

J.K Rowling has a writing style?
posted by OolooKitty at 8:56 AM on July 18, 2007

Children should be reading John Gaddis and James Joyce, not this vulgar wizard fare.
posted by everichon at 8:57 AM on July 18, 2007

Seriously, what SHOULD kids adults be reading?

I think that's more of the question here. For the record, I'd recommend The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Right now I'm reading McCullough's biography of Truman and that's been good too (if you're interested in history).
posted by OverlappingElvis at 9:07 AM on July 18, 2007

Seriously, what SHOULD kids adults people be reading?

Whatever fucking floats their boats, captures their interest, gives them a few pages of respite. It's not like it's a zero-sum game, with kid-lit driving out the "real" literature.

I read The Road, I thoroughly enjoy Murakami, David Mitchell, Houellebecq, and Wodehouse, Thurber, and James Merrill, and Ogden "Octopus of thee I begs" Nash, for fucks sake. And JK Rowling! Her books are a lot of often quite clever fun. And I know, from my limited meatspace and digital orbits, that such omnivorous tastes are pretty common.

I hope you prescriptionists choke on a bucket of shoulds.

*drives off in huffmobile*
posted by everichon at 9:29 AM on July 18, 2007 [5 favorites has favorites]

SPOILER: Doubledorf lowers a chair down from the sky and saves Barry right before Vaultmore gets to kill him.
posted by effwerd at 9:35 AM on July 18, 2007

Steven C. de Beste: I've been thinking about starting a betting pool on how many hours after the official release before a summary of the book's plot appears on Wikipedia. My money's on 12 hours, but it's possible it could be as little as 6.

Hell with that. It will show up as soon as someone can purchase same, with people summarizing chapters as they go, and then big ol' edit wars from party poopers who say "summarize the book in a few paragraphs once you're done", and then someone will semi-protect the article, and then someone will just flat-out lock it for a few days, and isn't collaborative editing great it really gets to the true truth of the matter!<sup>1

1</sup>The population of African elephants has tripled in the past six months.
posted by WCityMike at 9:49 AM on July 18, 2007

After reading this whole thread, I think just about every movie, book, and TV show has been rendered completely unwatchable, unreadable, and incomprehensible. Do not make my mistake; DO NOT READ THIS THREAD.
posted by tehloki at 10:26 AM on July 18, 2007

I personally think kids should read. What they read, I don't care very much, so long as it's not so adult in nature that they can't parse it properly.

That way, they're more likely to become adults who love to read. This is always a good thing.

When I was a kid, I read Piers Anthony and such. Now I voraciously read non-fiction books. What you read as a child doesn't predict what you'll read as an adult, but IF you read as a child, I think that you will read as an adult.
posted by davejay at 10:57 AM on July 18, 2007

> IF you read as a child, I think that you will read as an adult.

I don't understand the Harry-hate at all. It's not like he's stealing sales from other books. The fad-readers wouldn't exactly be buying Michael Ondaatje if they weren't buying Harry, they wouldn't be buying books, period. Harry will give a great many of these non-readers something they probably would not otherwise have had, namely the experience of reading one of those book-thingies all the way through. Now they know it's possible, it can be done, and some of them may do it again at some point, as would not otherwise have happened.

Then there's a (vastly smaller) number of readers of young-adult fiction who have indeed read books before, who may have enjoyed Madeline L'Engle pre-Harry and will go on to enjoy Judy Blume post-Harry, and most likely continue on to adult-list titles later on. They're not likely to stop reading, having read Harry, are they?

I fail to grasp. Who is Harry hurting?
posted by jfuller at 12:02 PM on July 18, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Who is Harry hurting?

This depends upon what slash you read.
posted by everichon at 12:11 PM on July 18, 2007 [4 favorites has favorites]

I fail to grasp. Who is Harry hurting?

A fair amount of it is snobbery -- anything that is popular must be trash.
posted by Karmakaze at 12:46 PM on July 18, 2007

empath's link is definitely worth a look. If that's a fake depicted there, someone spent immense amounts of time and effort on it - possibly the publisher of the real book.

unzip -Pgoatse HP7.zip gets the file open, btw.
posted by ikkyu2 at 1:21 PM on July 18, 2007

Harry momentarily comes out of his psychotic fog. He is in bed, in a psychiatric hospital. His parents are given hope that he will finally snap out of his years-long stupor, in which is imagines himself as a boy wizard.

His physicians have tried to get through to him that none of this is real.

But with an equable wave of his hand to his parents, his eyes begin to go blank again, as he once more imagines himself at the Dursley's.

No, wait.
posted by Danf at 3:22 PM on July 18, 2007

everichon, I think I love you.
posted by misha at 6:04 PM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Oh, and empath's file has been taken off, because it violates the TOS.
posted by misha at 6:15 PM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

Harry Potter 'Leaks' Spread To China -- "Reports and photos on Chinese Web sites are latest examples of material that's possibly from the new installment appearing on Net."
posted by ericb at 6:18 PM on July 18, 2007

The "Harry hate" for me at least, is not about the book per se, but about how it is marketed, hyped, and oversold. As I mentioned upthread I've read them and they are fine. Kids like to read it, great. But, when people are doing things on such a narrow scope, reading a particular book, watching a particular movie, playing a particular game, buying a particular phone, because everyone else is doing it it goes beyond being popular to being idiotic. I don't care if it is the greatest thing since belgian waffles you need to decide if it is what you like, not what you are told you should like. And that is it. Harry Potter has reached the point, like the Iphone, or Titanic or whatever, where to be cool you accept that it is what you have to read, own, watch. If the only time people/kids read something is because it seems like everyone else is reading it then, I think, it is almost pointless to have them read. They are not reading because they necessarily like to read, they are reading a particular thing because it is fashionable to do so. And unlike the example of reading anything as a kid leads to more reading as an adult, I'd say that is true IF that reading is independent, a personal choice, or a result of growing up somewhere where reading is valued all the time. My wild guess is that a large % of kids who rarely read before Potter will again rarely read afer Potter. Some will read more, and that is a good thing, but, again only a guess, I think they will be a small minority.

This issue is not about strict quality, but in presentation. And the quality is not quite high enough to overcome the sheer level of BS surrounding the presentation.
posted by edgeways at 6:31 PM on July 18, 2007

woops

And just in case the lawyers are reading this thread, it was not my file. I just copied the link to it from elsewhere.
posted by empath at 7:32 PM on July 18, 2007 [2 favorites has favorites]

Unless is ends with Hermoine giving Ron a reach-around, I'm not interested.

A rusty trombone would blow my fucking mind.
posted by purephase at 8:19 PM on July 18, 2007

It looks like 1200 copies were mailed out to readers early, according to the Washington Post (reg. may be required), so some of these leaks could be legitimate.

Personally I'll be glad when the mania is over. I work parttime at Barnes and Noble and the prep going into the HP Party on Friday night has been insane. We're expecting a line of customers outside the door as early as 7:00AM on Friday morning to get their bracelets for the midnight sale. I have to agree with edgeways - it's not so much about the book itself as it is about the fad and wanting to have the latest and greatest book/cell phone/computer/gadget/whathaveyou AS SOON AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE even though the book/cell phone/computer/gadget/whathaveyou will still be available the following day.

Having said all of that, I must admit that I did get a tiny thrill from seeing the black-wrapped pallet of the boxes of books in the Receiving room tonight.
posted by Nathanial Hörnblowér at 9:07 PM on July 18, 2007

You know, whenever somebody makes a thread about harry potter, there are at least half a dozen comments like this, and they're usually recieved quite well.

Don't we all know that Rowling's audience is reading the books a little straightforwardly to appreciate a twist like that?

Don't we also know that about a thousand people have made that joke before?
posted by tehloki at 11:11 AM on July 19, 2007

If the only time people/kids read something is because it seems like everyone else is reading it then, I think, it is almost pointless to have them read. They are not reading because they necessarily like to read, they are reading a particular thing because it is fashionable to do so.

Personally, I approve of any manipulation of the bizarre teenage herd mind that renders reading - reading anything - socially acceptable.

Reading is good crack, and if the first taste is free, so much the better.
posted by flabdablet at 4:59 PM on July 19, 2007

Just read that the publisher is calling all those people who accidentally got advance copies and asking them not to read them until midnight Friday.
posted by edgeways at 9:34 PM on July 19, 2007

If the only time people/kids read something is because it seems like everyone else is reading it then, I think, it is almost pointless to have them read. They are not reading because they necessarily like to read, they are reading a particular thing because it is fashionable to do so....My wild guess is that a large % of kids who rarely read before Potter will again rarely read afer Potter. Some will read more, and that is a good thing, but, again only a guess, I think they will be a small minority.

That's completely absurd and elitist.

It's better for a child never to read a book ever, than for that child to do just one thing because it's fashionable. That's what this is saying.
posted by lampoil at 4:17 PM on July 20, 2007

While I certainly agree that it's better for children to read passionately and regularly rather than as part of a dopey fad (I remember positively devouring books as a tot), even if a kid reads Harry Potter and only that solely for the fad value, the act of reading, especially something so long, exercises the brain and improves its functionality. That can't be an entirely bad thing, even as a one-time event, considering the alternatives.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:32 PM on July 21, 2007

I just finished the seventh Harry Potter book, and I won't post any spoilerz, but it was worth the hype.
posted by misha at 4:19 PM on July 22, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

SPOILER: Harry loses both of his hands and fashions wands as prosthetics.
posted by Burhanistan at 4:36 PM on July 22, 2007

I totally disagree with people who don't like these books and think kids should be reading other stuff. Harry Potter books are great. They are interesting, funny, incredibly creative, and they also show that life isn't fair sometimes and life is hard sometimes, the importance of friendship, and they are just plain good. I am 34 and have read them all a bunch of times and finished #7 by noon on the day of release. It was good. Not as good as #4 or #5, but well worth the read and a good ending. Sure, the series may not be Hemingway, but it's great reading, takes me away to another very interesting and different world, makes me laugh, and is just plain fun. Everything you read doesn't need to be deep and have onion layers of meaning, they are just fun.

Sure, there is marketing hype and all that, but it's because there are millions, MILLIONS of people out there who are fans and love the books. Ergo...marketing stuff to saite their appetites and fill the gaps between book releases and make more money. Who cares? What's the harm? I'd rather JK Rowling making millions than some idiot football player who's never done a good thing in his whole life making millions for running into other equally stupid and useless people. Or Barry Bonds being paid to take drugs. What these books has given the world is far better than that overhyped and over-marketed crap.
posted by aacheson at 9:15 PM on July 22, 2007

The last book is good.
posted by inigo2 at 11:03 AM on July 23, 2007

Turns out empath's link was legit. (Not that I read the book, but based on the wikipedia summary)
posted by delmoi at 7:15 AM on July 24, 2007

empath's link's pic of the back cover was certainly spot on. That's the actual cover of the book.
posted by misha at 2:49 PM on July 24, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]