It's an email metaverse!

July 18, 2007 12:41 PM

Just when you thought virtual reality couldn't get any worse, it's 3D Email! "Immerse yourself in 3-D as you read and write your mail. Hang with your mail poolside, or feed your spam to the sharks! Deleting spam is so much fun, you may wish you had more! ...It's an email metaverse!"
posted by verb (46 comments total)

As entertaining as this may seem to some, this is really for those that have nothing better to do with their time. I put this in the same category as video games and inbreeders. Just not worth the effort as the efforts produce even more dumb people.
posted by NotInTheBox at 12:49 PM on July 18, 2007

It's an email metaverse!

Only if there is a bar called the Black Sun where the really l33t SMTPers hang out.
posted by quin at 12:50 PM on July 18, 2007 [3 favorites]

Although, I must admit, here I sit staring at the blue. Who am I to judge?
posted by NotInTheBox at 12:52 PM on July 18, 2007

What frightens me is that this seems to be, you know, really a product. I'm all for paradigm shifting, but I don't see the symbolic context between email and people, unless they run up to you and sing it or something (should go run and patent that now before someone beats me to it)...
posted by Ogre Lawless at 12:54 PM on July 18, 2007

I'm already quite frightened to look at my inbox, thank you.
posted by zennie at 12:55 PM on July 18, 2007

Old (and amazingly more useful) variation - the Manage your system processes using Doom
posted by azlondon at 12:56 PM on July 18, 2007 [5 favorites]

Ick. I don't know about a typical inbox, but mine doesn't have anything in it that brings to mind busty, tanned women oiling themselves.
posted by mezzanayne at 12:58 PM on July 18, 2007

Make sure you watch the trailer... fat people are BAD!
posted by dammitjim at 1:08 PM on July 18, 2007

feed your spam to the sharks!

My spam is mostly about vicodin and viagra. I don't know if a junkie shark with a hard-on is something I'd want around.
posted by jonmc at 1:11 PM on July 18, 2007 [4 favorites]

I put this in the same category as video games and inbreeders.

Yeah, lumping video games an inbreeding together is pretty rational...
posted by emptybowl at 1:17 PM on July 18, 2007

At least I'll never be bored.
posted by jdfan at 1:18 PM on July 18, 2007

Video gamers? It;s more for people who think Second Life is more inreresting than regular chat applications due ot it's crappy 3D interface... so the worst kind of tech "journalists". Oh, and inbreeds.
posted by Artw at 1:24 PM on July 18, 2007

Yeah, lumping video games an inbreeding together is pretty rational...

Have you ever been to a LAN party? Trust me, it ain't normal reproduction that is giving us these clone armies of Mountain Dew drinking, frame rate coveting nerds.
posted by wfrgms at 1:25 PM on July 18, 2007

Their Visitorville 2-D product was pretty interesting, but it appears they've been bitten by the 3-D bug (both with Visitorville 3-D and this mailbox thing.) Too bad.

Much as games like "Roller Coaster Tycoon" are a lot of fun without being 3-D, I feel like there might be fun (not practicality) to be had in a 2-D god-view email client, but 3-D feels like massive overkill and awkwardness rather than fun.

Then again, people do seem to enjoy Second Life.
posted by davejay at 1:25 PM on July 18, 2007

Dare to dream.
posted by diastematic at 1:25 PM on July 18, 2007

By the way, isn't there some kind of IM application out there that opens IM conversations as bubbles over 3-D avatars in a virtual space, but using normal IM protocols like Y! and MSN?

If not, I'd be stunned.

I'd also be stunned if it were easy to use and convenient.
posted by davejay at 1:29 PM on July 18, 2007

"Minimum Requirements: Windows XP or Vista"

meh....
posted by HuronBob at 1:30 PM on July 18, 2007

I'm firing up my old VRML coding skills. 1997 here we come!
posted by autodidact at 1:35 PM on July 18, 2007

I'm going to start a flame-out because Ogre Lawless used the word "paradigm" in this thread.
posted by misha at 1:44 PM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oddly I think VRML was a great technology, just way ahead of its time. Seems more appropiate to have 3D interfaces now as the technology behind 3D processing has improved quite a bit.

Microsoft BoB was probably another example, just not right for its time. (to some it may never be)
posted by samsara at 1:58 PM on July 18, 2007

that trailer is hysterical - makes me want to go see the movie!
posted by janetplanet at 2:04 PM on July 18, 2007

Futurama did it!
(go to second 41 on)
posted by meehawl at 2:07 PM on July 18, 2007

fat people are BAD!

Only online!

In real life they're tolerated. It's a bit like global warming. We're hoping somebody will come up with a solution eventually.
posted by humblepigeon at 2:09 PM on July 18, 2007

I'm at work, so I can't watch the trailer, but if I can use the power of 3d to punch email from my clients in the groin I'll make the switch.
posted by lekvar at 2:17 PM on July 18, 2007

In real life they're tolerated.

Barely.
posted by batmonkey at 2:19 PM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

by "worsr" you mean "better" right?
posted by joelf at 2:19 PM on July 18, 2007

by "worse" you mean "better" right?
posted by joelf at 2:19 PM on July 18, 2007

E-mail is the killer app, but it's deadly boring.

What?! My email is very exciting. Just today I received a message from a nice woman (Olga, 25, single, looking for male companionship), was offered some viaGRA at very low prices, won the Irish Lottery (17 Million Pounds Sterling), and received pleas for lucrative money transfers from both a nice widow from South Africa (One Hundred & Twenty five million United States Dollars) and a mining company in Benin Republic (Eighteen million Dollars).

Just think if I could do all that in 3D through cutesy avatars. I could type my bank account number into a speech bubble and have my avatar speak it to another avatar in a bikini.

Having that watermark on all my outgoing correspondence would be a bonus.

Is one of the women in the image on the Tech FAQ topless?
posted by Tehanu at 2:22 PM on July 18, 2007

From the same company: VisitorVille: Web Stats in Video Game Format!
posted by Tehanu at 2:26 PM on July 18, 2007

Absurd.
posted by Ynoxas at 2:31 PM on July 18, 2007

Ick. I don't know about a typical inbox, but mine doesn't have anything in it that brings to mind busty, tanned women oiling themselves.

You just haven't gotten on enough spam lists.

I put this in the same category as video games and inbreeders.

There are good video games out there that are definitely not in inbreeder territory, so I call you an idiot. Sorry, but you kind of invited it.
posted by JHarris at 2:40 PM on July 18, 2007

worsr

Thank you, joelf. You just named my new web 2.0 application.
posted by rollbiz at 2:41 PM on July 18, 2007 [2 favorites]

A while ago a friend and I were kicking around an idea for a cheesy, cyberpunky short story in which script kiddies and crackers used video game front-ends to intrusion tools, waging Tekken-style battles with firewall software, etc.

And then we sobered up.

Seriously, though. 3D chat at least has a tenuous grip on its own metaphor -- 'rooms' are real, 3D spaces you can move to and from, etc. Email, though? This just baffles me. Maybe it's appealing to people who only get a small number of messages, and want to play around with shiny things while they're at it.

And even then, why not just build some sort of SMTP gateway for second life? making this a dedicated, stand-alone simulation of... your... inbox. I baffle.
posted by verb at 2:43 PM on July 18, 2007

Then again, people do seem to enjoy Second Life.

Some. Not many. Not nearly as many as you'd think, given the amount of harebrained media coverage and outright fellatio it's received.
posted by adamgreenfield at 2:54 PM on July 18, 2007

Well, that's SOMETHING else Second Life and I don't have in common, adamgreenfield...
posted by Samizdata at 4:02 PM on July 18, 2007

What does an avatar for Viagra-spam look like?
posted by hoskala at 4:02 PM on July 18, 2007

hoskala, this maybe? (sfw)
posted by quin at 4:21 PM on July 18, 2007

You know what else pulses with fun and excitement? Popable zits?
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:25 PM on July 18, 2007 [1 favorite]

Level two is LAX?!?!? What the fuck? I mean I like planes but LAX is not like a relaxing fun party spot or anything.
posted by BrotherCaine at 5:28 PM on July 18, 2007

I'll stick with mutt, thanks all the same.

Good. God.
posted by everichon at 5:28 PM on July 18, 2007

Man, that "disinfecting shower" portion of the email arrival experience gives me the creeps.
posted by redteam at 5:31 PM on July 18, 2007

I can't use this until Scoble makes a video explaining how it will make me even more productive.
posted by lukemeister at 7:31 PM on July 18, 2007

You people do realize that your email messages are represented by those pixelated buxom babes who are shaking their booty all over the damn place. Shakin' it all over, I tell you. That's gotta be a point in its favour.

Plus you get to throw bad guys (spam) to the sharks.

And remember this: email is dead. The kids aren't using it anywhere near as much as IM. If the beach babe skins correspond one-to-one with sender names, ie. so that letters from "[e-mail]" are all represented by a specific brunette, and one's email contacts are few (a likely scenario for this next generation of internet users), it just might work.

Mind, the sorts of people that this just might work for are the kind that give me a slight case of heebie-jeebies.
posted by five fresh fish at 9:49 PM on July 18, 2007

Maybe it's appealing to people who only get a small number of messages, and want to play around with shiny things while they're at it.

Been done: iphone.
posted by meehawl at 5:24 AM on July 19, 2007

I'm all for paradigm shitting

Fixed that for you.

But seriously: If we had some kind of fully immersive VR thing at this time, this might be useful. Right now, it's not even classifiable as a 'toy'. It's a what a friend of mine calls 'hemorrware' - the best it can be is a pain in the ass.
posted by mephron at 6:10 AM on July 19, 2007

This is what people thought the future would be in 1992.

I feel like I've been seeing a lot of this recently. I've been seeing a lot of condos coming up in the city which look like someone was shooting a mid-90s techno-thriller and then decided they wanted everything to look extra-rad by adding a lot of weird angles and curvy shapes. I half-expect to see someone with asymmetrical neon glasses to come out of them, looking like an extra from Back To The Future Part 2.
posted by Sticherbeast at 12:31 PM on July 19, 2007