The number one sign from "How To Tell If Your Boyfriend Is Cheating On You" is He doesn't open the door for you. Holy shit! It all makes sense now! His lack of opening doorways on me actually symbolises all the opening of legs he's doing on the side! How could I have been so blind? posted by liquorice at 5:59 AM on July 21, 2007
certainly the cheesiest of the cheesy posted by caddis at 6:13 AM on July 21, 2007
"my favorite sex blogs" was not my favorite, could you fix that "everybody's" part? posted by HuronBob at 6:40 AM on July 21, 2007
I think that the website you have linked to in this FPP is a lame piece of shit, psmealey. Sorry to be so blunt. posted by Meatbomb at 6:47 AM on July 21, 2007 [1 favorite]
Practically all of thoses lists can be used to make a "MetaFilter: ______________" joke. posted by CitrusFreak12 at 6:53 AM on July 21, 2007
Wow. This isn't just an "XYZ sux, amirite?!" post - it's, like, 6 of 'em rolled into one. Blergh. posted by rkent at 6:56 AM on July 21, 2007
Hey you kids..get off my blog. *poof* posted by doctorschlock at 7:03 AM on July 21, 2007
That shirt looks very becoming on you, and if I were on you, I'd becoming too. posted by sciurus at 7:04 AM on July 21, 2007
Metafilter: it doesn't open doors for me? posted by grobstein at 7:33 AM on July 21, 2007
What meatbomb and PeterMcDermott said. posted by dersins at 7:40 AM on July 21, 2007
And jason's_planet. posted by dersins at 7:40 AM on July 21, 2007
How can you tell if your mefi post will be any good:
1. It is a double. If someone else thought it was good then it probably is. Post it.
2. It is your own project. If you did it then it must good. Post it.
3. It is about fascinating topics like circumcision, fatness, politics, sports or blogging. People love to hear what everyone thinks about these topics. Best if you also conclude your post with "Discuss". Post it.
4. It is about your favourite band. Post it and reap the mehwind.
5. It is a list. Everything is better in a list. First, it is the universal language of powerpoint. Second, lists items are like bullets fired right into the reader's brain. Third, people like you to count for them. Fourth, 1. Post it. 2. Post it. 3. Post it. posted by srboisvert at 7:41 AM on July 21, 2007 [4 favorites]
Are you guys this smug in real life? The only thing worse than the occasional dud of a FPP is the slew of assholes that point out its duddery. posted by jlowen at 7:49 AM on July 21, 2007 [2 favorites]
Yeah, well, whatever. They can't all be winners. I guess I was due for a stinker.
It is funny, however, that so many people were so moved to register their meh-ness.
MetaFilter: it's like fertilizer for self-importance. posted by psmealey at 8:17 AM on July 21, 2007 [1 favorite]
I think that the website you have linked to in this FPP is a lame piece of shit, psmealey. Sorry to be so blunt.
As opposed to your one-link newsfilter post on Manuel Noriega yesterday. Now that was sheer brilliance and originality at work. posted by Tommy Gnosis at 8:20 AM on July 21, 2007 [6 favorites]
Anyone who thinks this is a good post has Asperger's Syndrome. posted by BeerFilter at 8:26 AM on July 21, 2007 [1 favorite]
From the "this site" link:
Ways to ask for anal sex
by "bagodope"
Introduction
Boys like to hit it in the Hershey Highway, but they don't always know how to pop that delicate question. This is a list of strategies for popping that awkward question.
1 It's a natural method of contraception posted by jason's_planet at 8:26 AM on July 21, 2007
I was going to quote that one, too, jason's_planet, but I ultimately decided I didn't want to be the first person to admit I'd clicked on a list of ways to ask for anal sex... posted by dersins at 8:33 AM on July 21, 2007
Ha! Oh, well. I'm a perv and everybody knows it so I'm happy to take the bullet for you, dersins.
Here's a rated-G one:
THINGS NOBODY CAN LIKE
hhhhhh!! blah!!
when you use listerine to gargle and a little goes down your throat and burns out your eyeballs
girls who hate girls
the type of girls who do not like any others girls (especially pretty ones or skinny ones) unless they are in their cirlce...
mushy bananas
when you buy bananas and dont eat them and they become mush--and you pick them up and they fall apart.
It is funny, however, that so many people were so moved to register their meh-ness.
I liked it. It gave me quite a few laughs. posted by Gnostic Novelist at 10:46 AM on July 21, 2007
Me too, Gnostic. 's why I posted it. A little lite cheesiness for a Saturday morning. Can't please everyone. posted by psmealey at 10:56 AM on July 21, 2007
1. Post it. 2. Post it. 3. Post it.
posted by srboisvert
Done~ by 3M posted by infini at 11:27 AM on July 21, 2007
"Hi. You'll do." That's the most effective pickup line one could try on me: I'm not likely to believe flattery from strangers (except I already know I have pretty eyes) and the usual strategems make me think the picker-upper is after something besides a bit o' rub-a-dub.
C'mon baby, tell me again how sycophantic I am! posted by davy at 11:28 AM on July 21, 2007
Hey sweet thang.. can i buy you a fish sandwich.
Works every time... posted by MapGuy at 12:33 PM on July 21, 2007
Wow. "Things nobody can like" is just staggering. I honestly don't know how to react to something like that. posted by DoctorFedora at 12:57 PM on July 21, 2007
Hey jessamyn, I know this isn't a library, but... I'm checkin' you out. posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 1:14 PM on July 21, 2007
From the depressing "Things nobody can like" list:
you see people in traffic next to you that smoke in their cars in the summer heat with all their windows rolled up
This is something to complain about? If their windows are rolled up, the smoke isn't getting into my car. posted by Faint of Butt at 2:20 PM on July 21, 2007
Regarding the pickup lines, let me just say...
WHAT
THE
(more after the jump) posted by The Deej at 4:34 PM on July 21, 2007
Wouldn't that be subject to inspection? Oh, well, can always wear extra large "falsies". posted by telstar at 5:04 PM on July 21, 2007
Hell no.
This is the worst pickup line ever. (NSFW - Language and Nudity) It's from 'Shark Attack 3'. It's known worldwide as 'the line'. posted by WinnipegDragon at 5:49 PM on July 21, 2007
And they're all like that. posted by Many bubbles at 8:45 PM on July 21, 2007
Wait.
Those were the worst pickup lines?
oh dear. posted by niles at 9:36 PM on July 21, 2007
The list of things nobody can like needs to include 'walking about your house in bare feet and standing on an upturned plug.' posted by Mr Bismarck at 2:43 AM on July 22, 2007
Trumped only by certain sharp children's toys-- legos, for example. posted by Maias at 3:51 PM on July 22, 2007
Or a half chewed nylon dog bone. Ow. posted by psmealey at 3:35 AM on July 23, 2007
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posted by liquorice at 5:59 AM on July 21, 2007