Kids, Monsters, and Lemons

July 24, 2007 2:09 PM

Little kids are tough, but I have discovered their weakness.
posted by churl (49 comments total)

I love the little guys who are more like "woah what the..." and shake themselves around.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:23 PM on July 24, 2007

It would be funnier if you gave them habaneros to eat and watched them cry and cry.
posted by Justinian at 2:25 PM on July 24, 2007 [5 favorites]

This reminds me of the following exchange from National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation:

Ruby Sue: Rocky bit my thumb. He's nervous.
Clark: Nervous or excited?
Ruby Sue: Shittin' bricks.
Clark: You shouldn't use that word.
Ruby Sue: Sorry. Shittin' rocks
posted by inconsequentialist at 2:26 PM on July 24, 2007

@Justinian
Funnier, but closer to breaking child abuse law. /me visualizes the courtroom proceedings...
posted by ikebowen at 2:27 PM on July 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Or, these kids need a shot of Malort.
posted by pfafflin at 2:29 PM on July 24, 2007

Throw them against the wall. The ones that stick are done.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 2:38 PM on July 24, 2007

but I have discovered their weakness.

Is it wild dogs? Or napalm? Maybe threshing machines?

Lemons? No shit.

Oh well, if laughing at children making awful faces is wrong, I ain't ever gonna be right.
posted by quin at 2:43 PM on July 24, 2007

So, left to their own devices, the tots would all develop scurvy?
posted by rob511 at 2:45 PM on July 24, 2007

When my son was little like these kids, I'd give him a lemon to suck on.

He'd put it in his mouth and make the funny face. Then, he'd giggle like a madman. And then do it again. This could go on for hours. Now, I've always, umm, encouraged my son to try new and different things. But to be honest, he never needed very much encouragement.

The downside to this, I have found, is that now he enjoys eating exotic foods - Sushi for instance. He's also now nearly 13, and has developed a hollow leg. Sushi is expensive here in the mid-waste, and he pack it away like nothing else. Why couldn't he get hooked on cheerios?
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 2:51 PM on July 24, 2007

Kids love lemons! They shudder alright, but it's invariably the adults reactions that end up putting them off. (OK, I have no proof of this, except my own repeated observations.)

Is there a name/explanation for that specific type of shudder (I'm sure you know it - either from very bitter or from very sour)?
posted by progosk at 2:52 PM on July 24, 2007

*resists linking to lemonparty*
posted by dersins at 2:54 PM on July 24, 2007

instead, i'll just point out that if you go to the youtube link for the lemon video, you can see from the "related" videos that babies eating lemons is apparently an entire genre of videos.

which is odd.
posted by dersins at 2:54 PM on July 24, 2007

lolbabies!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 2:57 PM on July 24, 2007

The Citrus Shimmy, of course.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:57 PM on July 24, 2007

That was in reference to progosk's question, sorry.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 2:57 PM on July 24, 2007

Just a side note... it's subtitled "Sublymonal messaging hits its target demographic."

Cripes! I can't spell "cat," but if you're typing it on a computer, use the built-in spellcheck. for Christ's sake!

I swear I can hear the fall of western civilization.
posted by jpburns at 3:20 PM on July 24, 2007

I gave my son lemon wedges once, which he gobbled up with gusto. I think he got a lot of juice in his nose, and I honestly thought his poor little head was going to explode. It was awesome.

I'm a good father. Really, I am.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:26 PM on July 24, 2007

jpburns - "Sublymonal messaging" is a reference to the latest Sprite ad campaign, most likely, and not a typo.
posted by jozxyqk at 3:29 PM on July 24, 2007

jpburns:

Sublymonal refers to Sprite's latest marketing effort.
posted by lyam at 3:31 PM on July 24, 2007

huh.
posted by lyam at 3:31 PM on July 24, 2007

Little kids are tough, but I have discovered their weakness.

This brings to mind one of my favorite MeFi threads, a true classic (and a related MetaTalk):

"You're in the middle of an arena. You're being attacked by 5 year olds who will stop at nothing to kill you. How many can you take on before they overcome you?"

posted by ericb at 3:37 PM on July 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

oh... so I'm dumb in a "clued into an advertising meme" sorta way.

I can live with that...
posted by jpburns at 3:38 PM on July 24, 2007

Out of the mouths of babes!
posted by ericb at 3:38 PM on July 24, 2007

The Sublymonal Project website.
posted by ericb at 3:39 PM on July 24, 2007

Those babies are so cute! I *have* to have one!
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:40 PM on July 24, 2007

Rutt-row, is this a Pepsi Blue Sprite Yellow post?
posted by ericb at 3:41 PM on July 24, 2007

Likely not. But, heck those kids are cute!
posted by ericb at 3:42 PM on July 24, 2007

Seriously, what is that near-identical facial response called? I'm sure there's a name for it.
Love the post and tone.
posted by etaoin at 3:51 PM on July 24, 2007

God, ericb, I'd forgotten about that "Attacked by 5 year olds" thread--that was a keeper.
posted by everichon at 3:59 PM on July 24, 2007

I *have* to have one!

*glances around*

How much you lookin' to spend? I know a guy who knows a guy. Could be what you're lookin' for let's say, falls off the back of a truck. Lost in transit's what I'm sayin'.

Thing is, rumors goin' round that this batch ain't exactly compatible with lemons. Might not be a big deal, but you might want to, you know, consider somethin' else. I can probably getcha a good deal on an eagle. You ever see an eagle eat a lemon? No problems.

Whatever, lemme know...
posted by quin at 4:01 PM on July 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

Isn't that pretty much the same facial expression that people made on that First Time Seeing Goatse project?
posted by Skwirl at 4:03 PM on July 24, 2007 [3 favorites]

When I was two, my mom took me shopping. I grabbed a thai chili while sitting in the cart. My mom told me not to eat it, so naturally, I promptly chomped down on it. After two chews, I became aware of an unpleasant sensation and spat it out. Seconds later I was screaming uncontrollably. My mom opened a bulk container of parmesean cheese she had in the cart and started feeding it to me. It's my earliest memory and I still remember it vividly to this day.
posted by [expletive deleted] at 4:10 PM on July 24, 2007 [4 favorites]

Isn't that pretty much the same facial expression that people made on that First Time Seeing Goatse project?
posted by Skwirl at 7:03 PM on July 24 [+] [!]

Well, with disgust, presumably, added in. For goatse, that is.
posted by etaoin at 4:11 PM on July 24, 2007

Buncha fuckin' sourpusses, if you ask me.
posted by Benny Andajetz at 4:29 PM on July 24, 2007

Gino the Guinea
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:46 PM on July 24, 2007

RevulsedBabyFilter
posted by Greg Nog at 5:41 PM on July 24, 2007

When my son was that age he LOVED eating lemons. He didn't mind mildly spicy food, either. He has since regressed to the mean.
posted by bashos_frog at 5:44 PM on July 24, 2007

What is the song in the second video?
posted by parmanparman at 5:56 PM on July 24, 2007

What is the song in the second video?


Martha My Dear -- Beatles, from the White Album.
posted by potsmokinghippieoverlord at 6:02 PM on July 24, 2007

Why is it that most of the white kids resemble Winston Churchill after they've eaten the lemon?
posted by kamikazegopher at 6:25 PM on July 24, 2007

I am absolutely outraged at this "lemon" video. At least two of those were clearly limes.
posted by nzero at 6:35 PM on July 24, 2007

Actually kamikazegopher, Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman's collaboration Good Omens (one of the finest books ever written) suggested almost this very thing. Although there was no lemon involved. Just that all babies look a bit like Winston Churchill.

While experience with prove that this isn't true; you will see many many babies who look nothing like the man, you will also notice that enough babies look like Churchill that while not only funny, it's remarkably disturbing.

Every now and then I see a little chubby face look up at me from a cart in the grocery store, and I can hear in my head:
we shall fight on the beaches,

we shall fight on the landing grounds,
we shall fight in the fields and in the streets,
we shall fight in the hills;
we shall never surrender,

In a little baby voice, and I have to stifle a laugh, lest people think I'm crazy.
posted by quin at 7:05 PM on July 24, 2007 [3 favorites]

"I'm gonna kick his ass"

White trash in the making.
posted by WaterSprite at 7:20 PM on July 24, 2007

I dunno WaterSprite, there are two great moments in that clip. The first is at about 17 seconds when the mom says 'That's not nice' The look on the little girls face is pretty excellent.

It's like she can't fathom the flaws in her mom's logic that has led her to not understand that an ass is going to get kicked. It's just a matter of whether or not it will be the little girl's or the interloper's.

The other bit of brilliance is the very end.

"But that's not a nice word, you should say 'kick his butt'"

"Oooooh."

I'm going to practice and try and perfect that noise she made. I want to use it in meetings at work when someone says something that should really obvious.
posted by quin at 9:18 PM on July 24, 2007

Seriously, what is that near-identical facial response called?

The Aging 78 Years in 0.36 Seconds Response. (Curse you, kamikazegopher)
Babies are hilarious.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:21 PM on July 24, 2007

@Justinian

are you emailing him?
posted by caddis at 10:04 PM on July 24, 2007

@xxxxxxxxx

Let's not keep using the @xxx thing. It's icky, and MeFi has developed much more intelligent and clear ways of quoting and referencing earlier posts.

Also, @ killed my father. So I have a grudge.
posted by quin at 10:17 PM on July 24, 2007

Yeah, not all babies look like Winston Churchill.

Some of them are more like Edward G. Robinson.
posted by rifflesby at 11:13 PM on July 24, 2007

"I'm gonna kick his ass ask"
posted by [insert clever name here] at 6:19 AM on July 25, 2007