It fits like a second (sex) skin.

July 25, 2007 8:09 PM

It puts the lotion in the basket. [nsfw] You know how in that movie, The Silence of the Lambs, the serial killer they're trying to catch is skinning women because he wants to make a suit out of real girls? If this product was around, perhaps we could have saved the lives of a lot of fictional victims.
posted by Sully (81 comments total)

Thanks for spoiling the movie, jerk.

Really, though... creepy. That's all I have to say.
posted by arcticwoman at 8:13 PM on July 25, 2007

See my vest, see my vest
made from Danni Ashe's chest...

sorry

(also, if you're gonna buy this thing at least get bigger boobs. I'm just saying.)
posted by jonmc at 8:13 PM on July 25, 2007 [7 favorites]

Please. please mister. I wanna go home.
posted by longsleeves at 8:15 PM on July 25, 2007

Not safe for anyone.
posted by puke & cry at 8:15 PM on July 25, 2007

That your fondness for large women transfers to men wearing prosthetics is just a dang old bridge too far, jon.
posted by cortex at 8:15 PM on July 25, 2007 [8 favorites]

Waaa! WAAAA!!
posted by longsleeves at 8:16 PM on July 25, 2007

Heh. Maybe they can make a 'pump' model like those sneakers.
posted by jonmc at 8:17 PM on July 25, 2007

Sweet amnesia, visit me in my dreams so I may live in peace from this vision.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:21 PM on July 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

Could you imagine how fucking creepy the production and storage sites for these things are? *shudder* Imagine 10,000 hanging on hooks waiting to be packaged.

just damn creepy.
posted by isopraxis at 8:23 PM on July 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

I just thought of something: what if you put it on backwards? That could be interesting.
posted by jonmc at 8:24 PM on July 25, 2007

I'm not in favor of this.
posted by jonson at 8:25 PM on July 25, 2007

Imagine 10,000 hanging on hooks waiting to be packaged.

That actually has a refreshing abattoir-esque kind of quality to it. These are probably made to order in very small quantities by a very creepy looking person.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:25 PM on July 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Metafilter: No bowl movements can pass through but objects are insertable.
posted by isopraxis at 8:25 PM on July 25, 2007

Not Safe For Eyes
posted by Poolio at 8:27 PM on July 25, 2007

Here's a chaser. much nicer than the second skin, at least.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:28 PM on July 25, 2007

AskMetaFilter: Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.
posted by Mick at 8:30 PM on July 25, 2007 [8 favorites]

You forgot the [more inside], Mick.
posted by cortex at 8:31 PM on July 25, 2007 [4 favorites]

Giving away the movie like that sucks. Like, really sucks. "It puts the lotion in the basket" would have been fine without a freaking PLOT SYNOPSIS.

There are, believe it or not, people who haven't seen SOTL. It's a fantastic movie, and it deserves better treatment than that.
posted by Malor at 8:34 PM on July 25, 2007

Can we get a NSFW on this?
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 8:36 PM on July 25, 2007

Metafilter: Options can include a penis pouch inside the female genitaliae with a built in urethra tube connected to the urethra orifice, making it possible to urinate from within the bodysuit.

Also, an NSFW warning may be in order. Thank crap I'm not looking at this at work.
posted by infinitywaltz at 8:36 PM on July 25, 2007

At least it beats surgery.
posted by davy at 8:39 PM on July 25, 2007

Malor, I hope I'm missing the sarcasm there, because for fuck's sake, that movie is 16 years old.
posted by chiababe at 8:40 PM on July 25, 2007

"Was she a great big fat person?"
posted by Pastabagel at 8:42 PM on July 25, 2007 [2 favorites]

ooh, spoiler-moaning. Wuuuuuh. This tells me that you haven't bothered with the link -- you'd forget about your zeal for complaining about spoiled sixteen year old movies and start complaining about the eyes. The cold, dead eyes.

I'm going to have a very difficult time explaining why "anime crossgender maskplay" is in my search history now.
posted by boo_radley at 8:45 PM on July 25, 2007

Argh!
I forgot the NSFW warning!
Also apologies for the spoiler. I didn't think that was a spoiler. I thought it was the other thing in the movie.
posted by Sully at 8:48 PM on July 25, 2007

Heh, davy. I can see this as a possible 'tester' for people considering male to female transgender surgery or for very well-heeled cross-dressers/drag queens/cosplayers.

Hmm, I wonder how difficult it would be to set up a similar production but (also) catering to furries or trekkies who like to dress up as klingons or Star Wars fans?

There are probably more hardcore furries/trekkies (who could be more effectively advertised to) with a lot more disposable income than there are crossdressers with that kind of disposable income.
posted by porpoise at 8:50 PM on July 25, 2007

This song might be appropriate here.
posted by rcavett at 8:51 PM on July 25, 2007

I can't imagine how hot it must be inside those things. Also, I agree that I don't think that was actually the spoiler...that bit of info came in the middle of the movie, right? but it's been a while since I've seen it.

("She's a big girl, yes." )
posted by frobozz at 8:51 PM on July 25, 2007

nsfwified, with your blessing, Sully.
posted by cortex at 8:52 PM on July 25, 2007

If you're reading MetaFilter and you have not seen The Silence of the Lambs, you have no business reading MetaFilter.

Also, Hannibal Lecter escapes by skinning a prison guard's face and wearing it as a mask.
posted by fandango_matt at 8:52 PM on July 25, 2007 [3 favorites]

I haven't seen Silence of the Lambs, mainly because I tend to watch it when I'm tired and fall asleep before I can finish it, like I usually do with most movies. Bah.

I'm human too you know!
Well, probably anyway
posted by Talanvor at 8:59 PM on July 25, 2007

"Was she a large girl? Big through the hips? Roomy?"
posted by fandango_matt at 9:03 PM on July 25, 2007

Ha! "Pusshorts."
posted by Brittanie at 9:04 PM on July 25, 2007

Oh wait, was she a great big fat person?
posted by puke & cry at 9:14 PM on July 25, 2007

What I want to know is how much trouble I'm going to get in when I'm caught burying one of these suits in a public park.

Cops just don't seem to have a sense of humor about this kind of thing anymore.
posted by quin at 9:18 PM on July 25, 2007 [4 favorites]

Now I truly know what to get for the man who has everything.
posted by Artaud at 9:25 PM on July 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Did you hear they're doing a musical of Silence Of The Lambs now?
posted by Artw at 9:28 PM on July 25, 2007

I think the statute of limitations has been reached on spoiling a move that's almost two decades old.

That said, this is insane. Bad insane, not good insane.
posted by bardic at 9:30 PM on July 25, 2007

On the one hand, this is kind of making me feel like the Real Dolls guys and the rabbit-expelling witch are Ward and June Cleaver by comparison. On the other hand, a friend of mine who is going through MtoF transition might find this some sort of small, temporary (if bizarre) respite from 40 years of unremitting sorrow and frustration that I can't begin to fathom.

On preview: Which doesn't make me laugh any less maniacally at what quin just said.
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:31 PM on July 25, 2007

There are probably more hardcore furries/trekkies (who could be more effectively advertised to) with a lot more disposable income than there are crossdressers with that kind of disposable income.

Speaking as someone with ties to and experience with the crossdressing, furry, and trekkie communites, this statement is dead wrong. There are few rich furries, and the trekkies that were once rich lost it all in the dot com crash. On the other hand, there are a lot more crossdressers than you think out there, and they exist in all walks of life. Rather a lot of them have money to blow on expensive underthings.

One of the reasons for this is that furries, though they get very little respect, are not actually reviled in mainstream society, because not all that many people have heard of them (by comparison). They don't feel that their life will be over if their horrible secret gets out, as crossdressers do, so they commonly end up acting like, well, freaks, and not getting promoted. Crossdressers go to elaborate lengths to put on an appearance of normality when in public, which is good for business. Plus they dress for success.
posted by darksasami at 9:34 PM on July 25, 2007

Also, FYI, Dorothy gets home safely even after missing the balloon, thanks to her ruby slippers. They tell her it was all a dream, but I dunno. . . . .
posted by FelliniBlank at 9:37 PM on July 25, 2007

This is why I come here. This, and tips on constructing homemade sex dolls.
posted by rhizome23 at 9:38 PM on July 25, 2007

What's the deal with the rabbit-expelling witch, FelliniBlank?
posted by infinitywaltz at 9:39 PM on July 25, 2007

It's a long story, iw.
posted by cortex at 9:43 PM on July 25, 2007

Metafilter: Overthinking a plate of fava beans and a nice chianti.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:53 PM on July 25, 2007 [8 favorites]

Burhanistan, I think I'm going to have a sleepless night thanks to thse spider pictures. WHAT KIND OF GOD WOULD ALLOW THAT?
posted by piratebowling at 10:01 PM on July 25, 2007

I noticed the thing has no holes.

I'm not even thinking about the fun stuff, but sticking to the basic operational issues: How the hell someone using that thing goes to the bathroom?
posted by cardoso at 10:02 PM on July 25, 2007

Metafilter: With a super realistic female genitalia, breast and a anus.
posted by tristeza at 10:09 PM on July 25, 2007

ClockSpider? Hey, that's the same clock I have in my bathroom. Wait, that IS my bathr.....OH GOD, NO, NOOOOOOOO

[end of transmission]
posted by FelliniBlank at 10:15 PM on July 25, 2007

oh, dear.
posted by exlotuseater at 10:19 PM on July 25, 2007

A little background music for the thread.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:36 PM on July 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Toughens your nipples, doesn't it?
posted by stinkycheese at 10:46 PM on July 25, 2007

I really, really wish P.K. Dick had been able to stick around long enough to see this.
posted by batmonkey at 10:51 PM on July 25, 2007

Holy god I just realized that spider was real and not a gag as I thought when I glanced at it earlier. Oh god oh god oh god. And now I have to go to bed.

(Also: How the hell someone using that thing goes to the bathroom?

"Options can include, a penis pouch inside the female genitaliae with a built in urethra tube connected to the urethra orifice making it possible to urinate from within the bodysuit."

However

"The insertable rectum is made of a very soft and clear medical grade silicone, designed to stay inside your body during sex. No bowl movements can pass through but objects are insertable.")

Oh god oh god oh god oh
posted by frobozz at 10:57 PM on July 25, 2007

Damn. It's so hard to keep up with the latest fetish fashions. I guess now with FemSkin, this clunky old getup is just so last year.
posted by madamjujujive at 11:02 PM on July 25, 2007

Re: creepy girl skin - that's just ooky.

Re: Spider - She's magnificent, and I want one.
posted by dejah420 at 11:06 PM on July 25, 2007

My eyes are bleeding.

Man, imagine what their customer service calls are like. Actually, don't.
posted by click at 11:26 PM on July 25, 2007 [1 favorite]

Renton (v.o.):

Diane was right. The world is changing, music is changing, drugs are changing, even men and women are changing.

One thousand years from now there'll be no guys and no girls, just wankers.

Sounds great to me. It's just a pity that no one told Begbie.
posted by bwg at 11:44 PM on July 25, 2007

Whoa. "Does not want" indeed.
posted by Kadin2048 at 11:54 PM on July 25, 2007

You don't know what pain is!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:00 AM on July 26, 2007

What. The. Fuck.
posted by illiad at 12:33 AM on July 26, 2007

I hear Norman Bates was an enthusiastic early adopter.

Oh, um...Spoiler alert or something.
posted by Optamystic at 1:57 AM on July 26, 2007

I just thought of something: what if you put it on backwards? That could be interesting.

Why then jon I'd marry you.
posted by longbaugh at 1:57 AM on July 26, 2007

This would have gone great with this music video
posted by pantsrobot at 3:58 AM on July 26, 2007

Finally, something to replace the curtains with!
posted by robocop is bleeding at 5:18 AM on July 26, 2007

I would like this a lot more if someone hacked some credit card databases, tracked down guys who have blown $4,000 on realistic sex toys, and then skinned a variety of RealDolls to make the suit.

Imagine someone who comes home, opens the door, and begins constructing dialogue in his head, "Bambi, I'm home. Are you ready to play?" Then he goes up to the bedroom and find his RealDoll partially flayed, yet still posed in some queasily erotic position, vapid donut smile over the acre of raw, now-nippleless silicone chest.

It'd be even better with fake blood over the "body."
posted by adipocere at 5:27 AM on July 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

flagged as "you sick bastard".
posted by longbaugh at 5:43 AM on July 26, 2007

Did you hear they're doing a musical of Silence Of The Lambs now?

It could work. Sweeny Todd is awesome.
posted by Elsbet at 6:05 AM on July 26, 2007

Oh Hai. Iz in yr FemSkin, pertendin to beez a womin.
posted by Secret Life of Gravy at 6:36 AM on July 26, 2007

Silence! The Musical is brilliant. (previously)

Seriously, go listen. I recommend Put the Fucking Lotion in the Basket, & the recent bonus track, I'd Fuck Me.
posted by Pronoiac at 6:40 AM on July 26, 2007

The guy modelling the bodysuit's therapist was dead the whole time.
posted by The Monkey at 7:22 AM on July 26, 2007

So what they're saying is that I can go ahead and buy the male Realdoll, and enjoy having sex with the cold corpse of Gary Sinise for a while, and then put a femskin on him, and enjoy having hot, compliant sex with the cold corpse of Gary Sinise's mannish sister? All in the same day?

Truly we are living in the 21st century.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:42 AM on July 26, 2007

I am sooooooo freaked out! Freak on.
posted by doctorschlock at 7:59 AM on July 26, 2007

Clockspider is watching you wear a femskin.
posted by Luddite at 8:38 AM on July 26, 2007

So here's what I've decided... I'm not going to click on the link and that way I won't have to desperately pray to be struck down with amnesia afterwards.

Preventative measures = problem solved! Yay!
posted by miss lynnster at 10:18 AM on July 26, 2007

I think the faux vagina needs a little work from an aesthetic angle. Also, Anna Karenina jumps in front of a train.
posted by LittleMissCranky at 10:23 AM on July 26, 2007

Well? Did she eventually put the lotion in the basket or did she get the hose again? The suspense is killing me.
posted by Smedleyman at 12:15 PM on July 26, 2007

What's the statute of limitations on spoilers, 'cause some bastard told me that Rosebud was a sled before I had a chance to see the movie. Asshole.
posted by kjs3 at 12:42 PM on July 26, 2007

Add tag, please: barfdaysuit
posted by rob511 at 3:32 PM on July 26, 2007

Definitely, author, you should be chastized for "spoiling" a movie THAT'S BEEN OUT FOR 16 FREAKIN' YEARS.
posted by WCityMike at 7:11 PM on July 26, 2007

The suspense is killing me.

Excellent... Once the suspense has killed him I shall make a Smedleysuit from his hide and prowl around the neighbourhood dispensing Taoist wisdom and napalm to all and sundry.
posted by longbaugh at 1:40 AM on July 27, 2007