Coulda used a little more cow...
July 29, 2007 11:09 AM   Subscribe


 
You know was also a great cook, as well as being an actor who was sometimes campy, sometimes sinister?

Hitler Vincent Price.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:14 AM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is way funnier if you substitute "baby" for "chicken."
posted by nasreddin at 11:16 AM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


"Let's take a little bit of that skin off..."

HA. HAHA.
posted by katillathehun at 11:16 AM on July 29, 2007


. . . so he put those pears in the one place he knew he could hide something: the chicken's ass. Sixty long minutes he cooked that chicken with those pears up its ass. Then he died of salmonella, he gave me the pears. I hid those uncomfortable hunks of fruit up my ass another ten minutes, just to carmelize them. And now, little man, I give the pears to you.
posted by gompa at 11:21 AM on July 29, 2007 [47 favorites]


Here's Walken on the Daily Show a few weeks ago promoting Hairspray. He talks about his love of cooking in the clip.
posted by lazaruslong at 11:35 AM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


A celebrity cooking?! Is this worthy of the Blue?
posted by dov3 at 11:42 AM on July 29, 2007


It was worth it for gompa's comment.
posted by fleetmouse at 11:45 AM on July 29, 2007


I liked the video. It was short, but it wasn't at all what I was expecting. The kitchen he was cooking in seemed....modest. I was expecting something with more brushed steel and fancy pothooks holding copper kettles or something.
posted by lazaruslong at 11:47 AM on July 29, 2007


Yeah; I wondered if maybe that was the kitchen in his Winnebago.
posted by Miko at 11:50 AM on July 29, 2007


He got his greasy yella chicken hands all over that salt spoon.
posted by brain cloud at 12:01 PM on July 29, 2007


He got his greasy yella chicken hands all over that salt spoon.

In a contest between Walken and salmonella, I know which will win.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:04 PM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


A celebrity cooking?! Is this worthy of the Blue?

If this were, say, Jennifer Lopez... no.

But it's Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken could do an instructional video on loading the dishwasher, and it would be worthy, imho.
posted by katillathehun at 12:07 PM on July 29, 2007 [3 favorites]


But it's Christopher Walken. Christopher Walken could do an instructional video on loading the dishwasher, and it would be worthy, imho.

Quoted for truth.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 12:32 PM on July 29, 2007


Reminds me of Cooking With Rock Stars, a video blog my boss's wife puts together. We know celebrities are people, but we rarely treat them like it. Watching, say, Rufus Wainright show off his borscht brings home the human factor in weird ways.

"Well... sure, he's an actor/musician/etc... But wow, that looks like a mighty fine lasagna."
posted by verb at 12:33 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I love this man. All my heart. All my goddam heart.
posted by cortex at 12:41 PM on July 29, 2007


Christopher Walken may cook, but would you eat it?
posted by tommasz at 12:45 PM on July 29, 2007


This was worth it, just to hear Christopher Walken utter the single phrase "it's just like a little cookie."

I want a text-reading program with the voice of Walken that I can use when I read cute overload now.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 12:52 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


And then what ... he fed it to his cat???? I love you Christopher Walken.
posted by WolfDaddy at 1:00 PM on July 29, 2007


I watched the whole thing. No cowbell.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:03 PM on July 29, 2007


Now that I know he can cook I love him even more. According to some celeb stalker and Google maps, this is his house, so he was probably preparing that somewhere else, because that kitchen doesn't seem to go with that house.

I love that he thinks the chicken stand is "a really cool French thing" because it reminds him of the Eiffel Tower. I have the same exact one and it was made in Taiwan.
posted by iconomy at 1:08 PM on July 29, 2007


I saw him jogging down Sunset Boulevard once about ten years ago. I thought, "Oh my god. That's Christopher Walken!" and noted to myself that it seemed really weird that he would be jogging down this busy street wearing all black in the middle of a horribly hot day. He looked like he was about to die... just huffing and puffing along in the too-hot weather. I felt so bad for him that I wanted to pull over an offer him a lift. Then I reminded myself "Oh my god. That's Christopher Walken!" and that he creeps the hell out of me so I kept driving.

I'm older and braver now. I'd probably find it difficult to not pull over to hand him a bottle of water at least. Poor man needs to keep hydrated & not jog in the hot sun like that.

Can't let Bruce Dickinson get a fever...
posted by miss lynnster at 1:13 PM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


A celebrity cooking?! Is this worthy of the Blue?

When Chris Walken farts its worthy of the blue.
posted by Ironmouth at 1:26 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Then I reminded myself "Oh my god. That's Christopher Walken!" and that he creeps the hell out of me so I kept driving.

And in the future, Walken dies of a heart attack. Bystanders refuse to offer help because, "Dude, that's the creepy guy from that Fatboy Slim video..."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:32 PM on July 29, 2007


That wasn't a fart- he was sleeping on whoopie cushions.
posted by MtDewd at 1:32 PM on July 29, 2007


Personally, I like my roasted chicken with a bit more color on the skin.
posted by donovan at 1:37 PM on July 29, 2007


Despite his weird persona, I've always thought Walken was a fairly normal human being. I can't imagine a young Christopher Walken doing coke off a hooker's back or trying to outrun the cops or anything. He's not cooking with Martha Stewart or on the View or something. He's just a dude, in his kitchen, with a recipe he thinks is pretty sweet and wanted to share. You can imagine him calling his wife in and asking her whether she thought it needed more salt.
posted by dismas at 1:45 PM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


I haven't cooked any chickens... [pause, interrupted by frying pan] since 1984. Goddamn his soul to burn for eternity in fucking hell for making me get my hands dirty. Go over to this comedian's son's apartment, come back with something that tells me where that asshole went, so I can wipe this egg off my face and finish this fucked-up dinner for good.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:46 PM on July 29, 2007


Interesting video, but the problem with that recipe? A chicken that big roasted for one hour is still pretty raw. I hope he wasn't having guests over.
posted by bardic at 2:53 PM on July 29, 2007


Alton Brown would tell you that that chicken stand is a unitasker. Use a beer can instead.
posted by puke & cry at 2:58 PM on July 29, 2007


verb, you work for Arlo's dad? That's a child raised right, if you ask me.
posted by cali at 3:06 PM on July 29, 2007


A celebrity cooking?! Is this worthy of the Blue?

Yep. What'ya waitin' fer? Lindsay Lohan on how to toast Pop Tarts® ?
posted by ericb at 3:08 PM on July 29, 2007


Lindsay Lohan is a toasted Pop Tart.
posted by Wolfdog at 3:32 PM on July 29, 2007 [7 favorites]


Interesting video, but the problem with that recipe? A chicken that big roasted for one hour is still pretty raw. I hope he wasn't having guests over.

I dunno, this page suggests that a 2-2.5lb chicken takes 1-1.25 hours at 400° F. He cooked his at 400, so I assume that it's in about that range. Assuming the magical chicken stand makes it cook a bit more quickly, I could see it being at least within "eh, I'd chance it" range.

Of course, you're right if the chicken were much bigger than 3lbs or so, and I can't weigh a chicken by eye that well.
posted by jedicus at 3:44 PM on July 29, 2007


Today we're going to talk about how a blackberry-sage reduction sauce is the perfect complement for smoked human shoulder.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:45 PM on July 29, 2007


Interesting video, but the problem with that recipe? A chicken that big roasted for one hour is still pretty raw. I hope he wasn't having guests over.

Never question Bruce Dickinson.
posted by Optamystic at 3:48 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


verb, you work for Arlo's dad? That's a child raised right, if you ask me.
I do indeed! He's so destined to be a rockstar it's not even funny. I worry sometimes, though. Perhaps he's too quiet, too reserved? ;)

Do you know them, too? I'm getting all derail-y. Whoops.
posted by verb at 3:51 PM on July 29, 2007


Just tried the recipe. Worked like a charm. Didn't have one of those Eiffel Tower things (or a beer can) so I just sort of spread the bird out like a tripod. Those pear "cookies" may have been the best part-- caramelized goodness. My chicken looked a little larger than his so I went with 1hr 15mins. Made a reduction sauce with the juice from the bottom of the pan, one of the pears mashed, and some white wine.

"I put my pants on just like the rest of you - one leg at a time. Except, once my pants are on, I make golden chicken."
posted by gwint at 4:01 PM on July 29, 2007 [2 favorites]


Christopher Walken may cook, but would you eat it?

Who would dare refuse to?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:01 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN. I love you, Dave Faris.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 4:28 PM on July 29, 2007


verb, I don't know them except in a friends-of-distant-friends sense. I had an internet friend who was a big Sifl and Oly fan and showed me the "A is for Arlo" video a couple years ago, which led to me discovering Cooking With Rockstars and then to figuring out that Jen knows some people in SF that I see occasionally. The internet can be just like a small town sometimes.

I'm also a Christopher Walken fan and a cook, which is why I clicked on it to begin with. Maybe gwint can answer this: why don't the pears burn and/or turn to mush at that temperature when cooked that long?
posted by cali at 4:47 PM on July 29, 2007


I can't find it but I thought for sure there was a british sitcom of an upper middle class couple who gave cooking lessons to the camera that were filled with superfluous nonsense and inner kibitzing with one another about trivial minutiae that was utterly hilarious if you're the sort of person who likes making fun of snooty upper middle class types that are so concerned about stature and posh appearances. I just can't remember the name. For some reason, Christopher Walken being curiously domestic reminds me of these two.

Anyone remember the name of this show? It's not "Chef!" (which I found to be delicious britcom from start to end) and it's not "Keeping Up Appearances" (which grows on one like a weed - not funny at first but gets better). This couple comedy I'm recalling was a demented bastardized combination of Chef and KUA.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:07 PM on July 29, 2007


why don't the pears burn and/or turn to mush at that temperature when cooked that long?

Because baking/roasting is dry, indirect heat. They probably are very mushy to touch, but retain their shape because you're not breaking down the cell structure in the same way you would if you grilled, broiled or braised them.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:08 PM on July 29, 2007


ZOMG don't over analyse! You're killing the magic.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 5:13 PM on July 29, 2007


...you guys are gonna make me go to Ask MeFi ain'tcha? Please don't make me go over there. It's scary over there.
posted by ZachsMind at 5:33 PM on July 29, 2007


ZachsMind: Posh Nosh?
posted by biscotti at 5:33 PM on July 29, 2007


For more video goodness, check out Kevin Pollack's dead-on Walken impression. From "The Aristocrats."
posted by zardoz at 5:37 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


Uh... "chicken" but no "walken" tag?

Loved the last second cat shot. So "WTF?" Reminds me of the SNL sketch where he lists the people in his household: plants, candybars... and then his "wife" is a bobcat.
posted by bread-eater at 6:01 PM on July 29, 2007


You know, oh wonderful one... I would bet that you are the kind of person who would enjoy that chicken with a glass of champagna. And that you have exquisite taste in underwear. Wow. Wowee wow wow.
posted by miss lynnster at 6:20 PM on July 29, 2007


That worked in preview but whatever. Here's another link to the same thing...
posted by miss lynnster at 6:23 PM on July 29, 2007


bread-eater, you mean this video.
posted by jonson at 6:26 PM on July 29, 2007


This video is awesome. And this isn't all bad either.

Frankly, pretty much anything Walken-related is fine by me.
posted by djgh at 7:40 PM on July 29, 2007


Well, the first 36 seconds of the first video is awesome.
posted by djgh at 7:41 PM on July 29, 2007


Oddly enough, by glancing at the other videos on the pages of djgh's links, I discovered that an Australian comedy skit eerily predated this chicken recipe.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:49 PM on July 29, 2007


Astro Zombie: Vincent Price Cooks
posted by Sidthecat at 7:59 PM on July 29, 2007


Well, if we're talking Vincent Price, then "previously."
posted by miss lynnster at 8:11 PM on July 29, 2007


THANK YOU BISCOTTI! =) Yeah that's what I was trying to remember. I got old grey matter in my noggin.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:39 PM on July 29, 2007


Miss Lynnster - the cookin' with Walken skit idea is even older than that. A really old (2000 or older) KEXP CD has a skit with, I believe Jay Mohr doing Walken hosting a cooking show.

That doesn't change the funny, though.
posted by cerulgalactus at 8:41 PM on July 29, 2007


...for some reason that Simon guy reminds me of Christopher Walken. I dunno why. They don't look alike or act alike or anything but seeing Walken in the kitchen made me think of that Simon guy. I just couldn't remember his name. Or the name of his wife on the show. Or the name of the show. And I still don't know why Simon makes me think of Walken. Cuz he shouldn't really. When you think about it. They're nothing alike.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:43 PM on July 29, 2007


Mmm, fun vid. Love Christopher Walken. Beer can chicken. Beer can roaster gizmo. Vertical chicken roaster gizmos.

These upright chicken roasters cook chicken like nothing else, amazingly moist, delicious and flavorful.
posted by nickyskye at 9:32 PM on July 29, 2007


Put some Skrewdriver on the boombox and cook four plump juicy RaHoWa chickens for your nice white wife and kids.
posted by fleetmouse at 10:48 PM on July 29, 2007


Anything Walken is always well worthy of the blue, IMHO.

15 minutes per pound at 350 degrees will cook a chicken just right. I use a stand up cooker all the time. The beauty of them is that the chicken doesn't sit stewing in it's own ever-growing grease like it would resting in a pan, getting greasier by the minute. The chicken stands proudly above the grease, which cooks out and collects in the pan beneath for later use as gravy, as Chris said. You wind up with a less greasy chicken this way. Bonus: the grease cooks out of the skin and it crisps up like a potato chip.

Why would he only use salt and pepper? Why not some garlic and/or rosemary and/or sage and/or something/anything? Just salt and pepper is boring as hell.

Walken was just on Conan the other night talking about how he's a good cook and I believed him. This vid does not lend credence to that assertion. This, of course, does not in any way reflect negatively upon any other fields of endeavor in which he may or may not excel.
posted by wsg at 11:23 PM on July 29, 2007 [1 favorite]


I never saw the Walken reading "Good Night Moon" from the Simpsons. Nice.

Related: The Tale of Two Bad Mice works perfectly when read in the style of Sheriff John Bunnel. Try it. It's uncanny.
posted by rusty at 9:20 AM on July 30, 2007


Frankenstein doesn't scare me. ...Marsupials do. Because they're fast.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 11:29 AM on July 30, 2007


that's actually jay mohr doing walken in that particular simpson's episode.
posted by sporky at 11:38 AM on July 30, 2007


that's actually jay mohr doing walken in that particular simpson's episode.

Also worth looking for is Jay Mohr's "Your Dog Has No Tail" riff about hanging out with Walken on the set of Suicide Kings. Can't find it via Google Fu, but it's widely available on P2P, and it's probably the highwater mark for Mohr's Walken schtick.
posted by gompa at 11:44 AM on July 30, 2007


As for why someone as talented as Walken wouldn't throw in rosemary or garlic, looked to me he was just demonstrating to a friend how to cook. He may not have expected this video to be for public consumption. If the person he was doing this for didn't care much for seasoning, or liked to be able to add seasoning later, Walken woulda dismissed that.

This looked to me not like THE Christopher Walken trying to dazzle with cooking flair. Looked like a friend sharing with another friend how to properly cook chicken - but he seemed to be purposefully trying to keep it simple. The use of the pears was revealing how to utilize the entire pan - being resourceful and cooking more than just the chicken with the same resources. Notice how he makes a point to show how to prepare each pear. Your average 'new to cooking' type person wouldn't have thought of something as simple as cutting the bottom of a pear to make it stand upright.

I bet the guy Walken was intending to share this with (perhaps the cameradude, or whoever they were making the video for) was a bachelor, or someone who doesn't normally like to cook.

If Walken started doing a cooking show, I'd tune in. He's able to make even cooking worth watching. That's a rare gift.
posted by ZachsMind at 12:07 PM on July 30, 2007


I don't remember where I found the link to the video, but I do know it was presented as if Walken had uploaded the video to that site himself. The username for the uploader is "CW428," for whatever little that's worth.
posted by Dave Faris at 5:02 PM on July 30, 2007


As a suggestion that Walken is using the Internet one leg at a time like the rest of us, it's worth tons. It's such a great, simple, candid video.
posted by cortex at 5:04 PM on July 30, 2007


Seasoning a whole chicken with herbs for roasting is a pain. You have to peel back the skin, season and replace or the herbs get all dried out. I suppose you could season the cavity and do the beer can thing, but I prefer to season just before or just after it comes out of the oven.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:29 PM on July 31, 2007


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