Butte, Montana's least favorite son: Evel Knievel
August 3, 2007 8:47 PM   Subscribe

What does it feel like to crash? "What the hell do you think it feels like? Christ almighty. It hurts." Evel Knievel was the original Jackass and now he's living out his days like most elderly retirees in Florida: tired, cranky and on oxygen.
posted by photoslob (62 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Photo gallery link of Evel then and now.
posted by photoslob at 8:48 PM on August 3, 2007


Cranky, alcoholic, stubborn, cantankerous, bitter, egomaniacal, and sometimes downright vicious... but goddamn was he cool.
posted by vronsky at 8:52 PM on August 3, 2007


and to compare him to Jackass is just wrong.
posted by vronsky at 8:54 PM on August 3, 2007


Cranky, alcoholic, stubborn, cantankerous, bitter, egomaniacal, and sometimes downright vicious... but goddamn was he cool.

What you mean 'but,' kemosabe? Those were the things that made him cool.
posted by jonmc at 8:54 PM on August 3, 2007 [3 favorites]


God almighty. Evel was the LAST man on Earth I thought would ever make it to old age. Fate is a cruel mistress. God please kill me before they put me on oxygen: preferably fast and while in the arms of a pretty lady.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:55 PM on August 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Jackass is not worthy to touch the hem of his garment.
posted by vronsky at 8:56 PM on August 3, 2007


...If Johnny Knoxville makes it to old age, I'm gonna have me a coronary.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:57 PM on August 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


Crap, this makes me a little more aware of my own mortality, as well as how much time has flown since I was a kid.
posted by hodyoaten at 8:58 PM on August 3, 2007


how sad
posted by pyramid termite at 9:03 PM on August 3, 2007


Chicks dig scars. And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:06 PM on August 3, 2007


Darwin wept.
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:10 PM on August 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Evel Knievel was the original Jackass and now he's living out his days like most elderly retirees in Florida: tired, cranky and on oxygen.

Hell, if anyone deserves to live out his days like this, it's him.
posted by blucevalo at 9:12 PM on August 3, 2007


Gee; if people don't die, they get old. What a concept.
posted by yhbc at 9:13 PM on August 3, 2007


What I mean is: entitlement. If anyone's entitled to be cranky, cantankerous, and downright obnoxious, it's him.
posted by blucevalo at 9:13 PM on August 3, 2007


and for those of you jaded by triple flipping x-game idiots, remember that Evel was jumping with a circa 1970s Harley 750 with about 3 INCHES of travel in the shocks. Motorcycles have come a long, long way.

This shot of Wild Turkey is for you Evel.
posted by vronsky at 9:13 PM on August 3, 2007


Cranky ... creaky
posted by Mblue at 9:14 PM on August 3, 2007


Evel Knievel on his Legend Scooter < /img>
posted by Poolio at 9:15 PM on August 3, 2007


Darn it! Why do people have to get old?

Seeing this story does make me think that it was probably OK for Steve Irwin to go the way he did. I can't imagine him in a retirement home like Knievel.

All things considered, I'd rather go out quick, doing something I love, rather than taking the long, painful, disinfectant-scented route of old age.
posted by JDHarper at 9:15 PM on August 3, 2007


I'd rather go out quick, doing something I love, rather than taking the long, painful, disinfectant-scented route of old age.

Count me in.

*splashes red across the keyboard*
posted by It's Raining Florence Henderson at 9:20 PM on August 3, 2007


When Evel tried to jump over the Snake River Canyon, some company made wind-up "Skycycle" toys that were as heavy as anvils and moved at the speed of sound. I launched one down a flight of stairs and through a sheetrock wall, much to my parents' dismay. My Evel action figure survived it, though, cuz I'd lashed him to the top of the rocket bike with rubber bands. Truly a toy that could kill someone. It was SO cool. When I was a kid, Evel Knievel was Elvis and Clint Eastwood rolled into one. I bought his biography from the Weekly Reader Book Club, and I had pictures of him I saved from Dynamite magazine.

And when Evel finally cashes it it, I imagine he'll look back over his life and think, "I won."
posted by BitterOldPunk at 9:21 PM on August 3, 2007 [3 favorites]


caesar's palace (ouch!)

portland 73 (this went fine)

11 mack trucks (woo hoo!)

live on abc's wide world of sports (the agony of defeat!)

snake river canyon
posted by pyramid termite at 9:22 PM on August 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


As a child of the 70's, I fondly remember my red, white, and blue Stars and Stripes-bedecked banana seat Evel Knievel bike (Schwinn?--surely not).

Such marketing could never exist in this day. However, for the sake of our gene pool, free Jackass Brand roller blades and X-treme Cherry-Berry Hyper-Caffeinated bottles of Drano should be handed out with the Algebra texts at every middle school today.

That, and video-cams all around.
posted by sourwookie at 9:23 PM on August 3, 2007


I remember hearing his son Robbie saying he wanted to beat all his dad's records...

...so Evel would leave the world with NOTHING.

Robbie doesn't get along well with his pops.
posted by infinitewindow at 9:29 PM on August 3, 2007


Man, when I was a kid I dreamed of being Evel Knievel. I had the Halloween costume, the bike, the ramps, and the balls - but not the publicity.

I once broke the frame of my Schwinn by jumping it off the roof of the house next door.

Ah, those were the days.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:00 PM on August 3, 2007


Previously.

Sorry, but as a person he's always been an asshole. So at least there are some consistencies for him in old age.
posted by miss lynnster at 10:02 PM on August 3, 2007


Interesting...

"A lot of Butte people really resent him to this day," says Mike Byrnes, who went to school with Knievel and now runs Butte Tours. "He's the most famous guy to come out of Butte. But we don't have any Evel sites on our tours.

"We've got a T-shirt, though. 'Butte, Montana: Birthplace of Evel Knievel. We apologize.' "

posted by miss lynnster at 10:06 PM on August 3, 2007


Great post. And thanks for the video roundup, Pyramid Termite!
posted by LarryC at 10:09 PM on August 3, 2007


I've spent a lot of time in Butte. They have a lot more to apologize for.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 10:09 PM on August 3, 2007


sorry miss lynnster, but this is a thread you would have to have testicles to understand.

(don't call Evel an asshole, and we won't call Charo a washed up hag, mmkay)
posted by vronsky at 10:40 PM on August 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Haven't seen that Ceasar's Palace footage in a while. Is that particular production from some kind of Wide World of Sports documentary or something? The way it instantly goes into slow motion when he loses control on the landing, and then that crazy action-music with the flute-glissandi kicks in ... it's all instantly familiar when I watch it, and I think it's the only version of this I've ever seen.
posted by scatman at 11:18 PM on August 3, 2007


OK, vronsky: As someone who now wears a bridge due to his bike and has a hole in his upper lip cut through on the trail, not counting the broken wrist I played through all last fall and winter as jazz bassist, before the diagnosis, and hacked the cast so I could still gig: I demand you apologize to miss lynster. Jazz transcends all pain and Charo is always hot.

Sure, Donna Lee didn't happen for a few months, gut I held my own on Gentle Rain.
posted by sourwookie at 12:00 AM on August 4, 2007


I take that back: Lynntser, back to the sewing grill with you!
posted by sourwookie at 12:04 AM on August 4, 2007


I always figured the snake river jump was a scam. There was no way to make that distance. Maybe they didn't realize it until it was already publicized and it was too late to back out.

I think they just rigged the parachute to "accidentally" open early.
posted by Bonzai at 12:08 AM on August 4, 2007


Ditto Bonzai
posted by A189Nut at 2:54 AM on August 4, 2007


Oh, and the Caesar's crash was filmed by Linda Evans, of Dynasty fame. True.
posted by A189Nut at 3:01 AM on August 4, 2007


As a child of the 70's, I fondly remember my red, white, and blue Stars and Stripes-bedecked banana seat Evel Knievel bike (Schwinn?--surely not).

Like mine, I'm pretty sure those colorings had more to do with the Bicentennial fervor than any sort of Evil Knievel tie-in. Or maybe it was a different one? Or maybe it was both?
posted by Dave Faris at 3:07 AM on August 4, 2007


"sorry miss lynnster, but this is a thread you would have to have testicles to understand."

I have testicles. I don't understand it.
posted by ZachsMind at 3:11 AM on August 4, 2007


So, according to the article, Evel's career reached the beginning of its end when he crashed after jumping over a tank full of live sharks in 1976.

Fonzie didn't jump the shark until September 1977, but he gets the credit for the "jumping the shark" cliche.
posted by mmoncur at 3:30 AM on August 4, 2007


When Evel tried to jump over the Snake River Canyon

I vividly remember the tv broadcast of that moment. I think I was like 10 at the time. I remember being told that he was going to jump the gorge on his motorcycle, and being super-psyched about it. But, when the broadcast started, it was clear that he was not going to make the jump on his bike, but in some kind of rocket contraption.

I thought: Evel. He's going to try to jump the Snake River Canyon. In a rocket. And when he tried, he failed. He failed to jump the Snake River Canyon in a ROCKET.

What a loser.
posted by psmealey at 4:36 AM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Here's a video of Evel Knievel jumping over some guy's head.
posted by horsewithnoname at 5:34 AM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Seeing this story does make me think that it was probably OK for Steve Irwin to go the way he did. I can't imagine him in a retirement home like Knievel.

Can you imagine him at his kid's wedding or playing with his grandchildren? I am sure he would have liked that...

Somethings are worth getting old for.
posted by fluffycreature at 5:39 AM on August 4, 2007 [2 favorites]




This seems to be going better than the other Knieval thread posted in April.
posted by psmealey at 6:22 AM on August 4, 2007




Also, let's compare and contrast the handling of crash victims. The right way: Evel Knievel vs. The wrong way: Jake Brown (relevant thread here)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 6:47 AM on August 4, 2007


BitterOldPunk: I had one of those "Skycycle" toys -- thanks for reminding me what they were called.
No testicles here and Evel Knievel was the coolest guy I knew about for a few years during grammar school.
posted by jdl at 7:42 AM on August 4, 2007


I can't decide if the lapels are the worst thing about that outfit, or the best. I'm just glad it's not in color.

I remember hearing his son Robbie saying he wanted to beat all his dad's records...

So we have a son who dedicates his life to following in his father's footsteps and trying to outdo him. Why does that sound familiar?
posted by kirkaracha at 8:08 AM on August 4, 2007


I can't decide if the lapels are the worst thing about that outfit, or the best.

Are you kidding me? The man may not have had an ounce of brain in his head, but the two things no one would ever say were lacking in Evel were balls and style.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 8:25 AM on August 4, 2007


I had that toy too. Awesome it was.

And miss lynnster, how about showing the same courtesy you clearly expected of your Nina Simone thread? Evel never shot any kids with a BB gun, as far as I know.
posted by stinkycheese at 9:43 AM on August 4, 2007


Evel Overcome With Good
posted by konolia at 10:05 AM on August 4, 2007


but this is a thread you would have to have testicles to understand.

No way. I was obsessed with Evel Knievel when I was a kid, hell, I broke so many bones, and wrecked so many times, the ER nurses called me Suzy Knievel.

How they can compare his stunts to Jackass is beyond me. Jackass is purely to show how much pain they can put themselves through. Knievel ended up in pain, a lot, but that wasn't the goal.
posted by SuzySmith at 10:08 AM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'd rather go out quick, doing something I love, rather than taking the long, painful, disinfectant-scented route of old age.

Sounds great in theory. But next time you are going hiking or rock climbing or doing whatever dumb ass shit could get you killed in your prime, ask yourself "Do I want to die today? Right now?"

My guess is the answer will be no.
posted by Meatbomb at 11:57 AM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Cranky, alcoholic, stubborn, cantankerous, bitter, egomaniacal, and sometimes downright vicious... but goddamn was he cool.

What you mean 'but,' kemosabe? Those were the things that made him cool.


No, those things just make you an ass. It was the jumping motorcycles that made him cool.
posted by justgary at 1:15 PM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


It was the jumping motorcycles that made him cool.

Well, it was that and the white leather suit with the stars and bars on it. And the sideburns.
posted by psmealey at 2:03 PM on August 4, 2007


"Sounds great in theory. But next time you are going hiking or rock climbing or doing whatever..."

I tend to avoid rock climbing and hiking just for that reason. Lessens the chance I will die from falling if I don't climb.

The other day I came across these Mountain Trekkers who drove in a van all the way to Mount Rushmore then they hiked for three days until they came to some place called The Barrens, which was just a bunch of rocks and dust. One of the guys cut his own foot. Another guy threw up cuz he got sick on the food they were carrying with them in their packs. Every now and then they'd stop to climb a rock and then fall off of it.

Good videos by the way. Entertaining. My point is, they had a van. It woulda taken them like twenty minutes to drive from Mount Rushmore to The Barrens. I don't get hiking. Hiking is something you do when you have to, when the van breaks down.

I avoid exercise or anything overtly strenuous because I don't like pain and excessive physical exertion is what killed Douglas Adams. He shoulda stayed in the tub eating a Bovril sandwich. He'd still be alive today. ...or he woulda died anyway from a coronary, but it woulda been in the comfort of his home and not in some sweaty California gym.

If I ever wanna die of physical exertion, I'll go jump a canyon just like Evel Kineval, and if I fail to die doing that, I'll be pretty cranky too.
posted by ZachsMind at 2:55 PM on August 4, 2007


I think all of us are "on oxygen".
posted by wfc123 at 4:51 PM on August 4, 2007


And the United States of America has the best doctor-to-daredevil ratio in the world!

Are you sure? I would have thought it had one of the worst...
posted by fairmettle at 7:23 PM on August 4, 2007


"His wife, Krystal, 38, calls him by his given name, "Bob"."

Woah. I did not know that.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:18 PM on August 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


I stand by this assessment in the old thread.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:08 PM on August 4, 2007


"I have testicles. I don't understand it."

Yours are pretty hard to undestand Zach.
posted by vronsky at 10:15 PM on August 4, 2007


Knievel was once asked what it was like to be in a coma. He replied 'How the fuck should I know? I was in a coma'
posted by Jakey at 2:25 PM on August 5, 2007


Brian Regan has a nice Kinevel bit on one of his CDs.

Regan: I've always been a huge Evel Knievel fan. One thing that I think is interesting is whenever he does the talk shows. He's older now, he doesn't jump so he just does the talk shows circuit, which I think is cool. Everytime he does one they want to show him the footage of him when he fell off the motorcycle and bounced around like 83 times. And they always ask him, "Hey, do you remember that day, Evel?" "No, no I don't remember." And they always ask him what he was thinking right before he hit the ground. What kind of question is that? "What were you thinking right before you hit the pavement, Evel?" "Oh, I remember thinking, hey, did I turn off the iron.? Then my leg cracked in half and I was thinking, hey, maybe I should get a puppy. What do you think I was thinking? I was thinking AAAAAAH!!! or something like that."

Of course it's a lot funnier in Regan's delivery.
posted by daHIFI at 9:25 AM on August 6, 2007


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