Wrong in so many different ways...

August 7, 2007 1:37 PM

Legendary competitive eating champion Takeru Kobayashi battles Kodiak bear [youtube]
posted by KokuRyu (28 comments total)

WTF. Who comes up with this stuff?
posted by Mr_Zero at 1:40 PM on August 7, 2007

I was REALLY hoping this was going to be video of Kobayashi getting eaten by a bear. Oh well... maybe Kobayashi could challenge a shark next? Sharks are way messier and less focused. I bet he'd win that one!
posted by blaneyphoto at 1:47 PM on August 7, 2007

"Of course the bear doesn't know it's a competition, he's just a natural eating machine."
posted by The Straightener at 1:47 PM on August 7, 2007

I knew well before clicking it would be a "battle" in terms of eating faster than the other. And yet I clicked anyway, apparently because I relish disappointment.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 1:48 PM on August 7, 2007

Assume no element of surprise.
posted by shmegegge at 1:49 PM on August 7, 2007

Possibly the greatest piece of sports commentary of all time, with regard to the contrasting styles of bear and human: "Obviously, he has a different approach."

Obviously, indeed.
posted by kosem at 1:51 PM on August 7, 2007

Not only is this a one link youtube post, it is a one-link-youtube-post to an event that happened six years ago!

This is from Man vs. Beast, a fox special.

That is bad, but the real crime here is that you did not link to the other videos from the same program involving sumo wrestlers in a tug of war with an orangutan and midgets competing with an elephant to pull a dc 10.

I'm going to flag this, but please feel free to repost with all those other videos as well.
posted by OldReliable at 2:00 PM on August 7, 2007

Who is eating? BEAR is eating.... HOW CAN THAT BE?!?!!?!?!!?!
posted by Debaser626 at 2:09 PM on August 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

I remember when Man vs. Beast was on Fox. Ahh, that was a simpler time, when Fox filled the summer months with campy specials like When Good Pets Go Bad and Alien Autopsy.

Now we get Don't Forget the Lyrics instead. Dear God, what I wouldn't give to see Wayne Brady mauled by a bear.
posted by turaho at 2:11 PM on August 7, 2007

Question- What kind of bear is best?
posted by inigo2 at 2:11 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

In case you misunderstood me: I want this post deleted, and I want you to post another one with links to all of the segments from Man vs. Beast. In a row.

Make me proud.
posted by OldReliable at 2:14 PM on August 7, 2007

Elephant vs. Little People pulling a DC-10.

Sprinter vs. Giraffe vs. Zebra

inigo2 doesn't know any facts about bear attacks
posted by Gary at 2:19 PM on August 7, 2007

Sumo Wrestler vs. Orangutan
posted by Gary at 2:21 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

ah, man. I want to see the little people vs. the elephant!
posted by medium format at 2:21 PM on August 7, 2007

thank you Gary
posted by medium format at 2:21 PM on August 7, 2007

Just to save my self looking at this, The man does not eat the bear, Correct?
posted by Elim at 2:22 PM on August 7, 2007

Question- What kind of bear is best?

Fantastic! My thoughts exactly.

Also:

• "The giraffe looks like it's having some sort of problem!" / "Tonight the Zebra took down the Cheetah-Man"
• "The elephant has also gotten his jet going"
• "Keep in mind folks, that, the chimps, they don't like water"
• "The orangutan is unfazed!"

posted by jckll at 2:29 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Horse Farting
posted by Mr_Zero at 2:32 PM on August 7, 2007

Goddamn, this is old news.
posted by phaedon at 2:43 PM on August 7, 2007

I read it as Kodiak beer. That would have been more interesting. But not much.
posted by Bugg at 3:05 PM on August 7, 2007

Camel vs. Little People relay race.

Dustin Diamond vs. Ron Palillo (oops, this is a completely different horrible-awesome fox special)
posted by Gary at 3:05 PM on August 7, 2007

A compilation of Super Jockey clips, most of which date back to the 90s. Sadly, Japanese tv is no longer like this...
posted by KokuRyu at 3:27 PM on August 7, 2007

Is that Larry freaking Merchant introducing the bear?

What a great little clip.
posted by ikkyu2 at 5:09 PM on August 7, 2007

Killing one bear should aggro every bears.
posted by lazaruslong at 5:16 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

I just want to see a contest between the prime number shitting bear and a human.
posted by loquacious at 5:31 PM on August 7, 2007

I don't care how old this is, it was hysterical.

I am blessed (cursed) with an entire high school football team downstairs. They're sitting around being adolescents preparing for the beginning of two-a-days tomorrow. This involves beer, XBox and profanity. Girls, maybe -- but hopefully I'll be asleep by then.

They worship this Kobywhatever guy. It's like it's a real sport and they shit themselves over this video. Mind you, these are boys looking at full rides to Division II (maybe better, in a few cases) schools and consider themselves serious athletes.

Thanks. I'm like part of the 'crew' now instead of being the creepy old guy who keeps yelling for no reason.
posted by cedar at 7:21 PM on August 7, 2007

Why did I not see this on the Colbert Report?
posted by mobunited at 12:07 PM on August 8, 2007

Hey! Here are the children of the wacky family! "Thank you for so many hamburgers," they say! "Ohhhh," says the father, "you cannot have hamburgers or candy canes until you do your homework!" "But we have no homework," say the children. "No homework?" Says the wacky father, "Then you will have to fight the bear!"
posted by Pollomacho at 12:19 PM on August 8, 2007