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Bob Allen fears black people, loves oral.
August 7, 2007 7:10 PM   Subscribe

Floridian, Republican, Representative Bob Allen the latest hypocrite to be arrested for sexual acts that his political persona derided. The difference? This one blames black people for his being caught soliciting a blowjob from an undercover cop.
posted by Kickstart70 (185 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
I really hope this hasn't already made it to the blue. I searched!
posted by Kickstart70 at 7:10 PM on August 7, 2007


Florida. Sunny place, shady (and stupid) people.
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 7:13 PM on August 7, 2007


Hey, his hobby is watersports! I didn't realize congress was such a kinky place. Hot!
posted by PissOnYourParade at 7:15 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Keep in mind when you say "Soliciting a blowjob" He was actually offering to pay to suck the other guys dick.
posted by delmoi at 7:16 PM on August 7, 2007


It would be more accurate to say he was soliciting a dick to suck.
posted by delmoi at 7:16 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


White man's burden.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:24 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


Ironically, Allen was the Police Union's 2007 Lawmaker of the Year.

Come on. Now they're just fucking with us, right? Right?
posted by ColdChef at 7:24 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


*falls out of chair laughing*

aaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
posted by mediareport at 7:27 PM on August 7, 2007


He was actually offering to pay to suck the other guys dick.

You say that like it's shocking.
posted by mediareport at 7:27 PM on August 7, 2007


Ironically, Allen was the Police Union's 2007 Lawmaker of the Year.

Makes you wonder how many undercover cops just didn't arrest him ...
posted by IronLizard at 7:27 PM on August 7, 2007 [13 favorites]


Recreational Interest: water sports

oh my fucking lord
posted by Optimus Chyme at 7:29 PM on August 7, 2007 [7 favorites]


Relatedly, the newly elected Prez of the Young Republicans has been forced to step down amid allegations that he sexually assaulted another man after a Young Republicans party.
posted by Poolio at 7:30 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


*falls out of char, joins mediareport on the floor*

Bwaaa hahahahahahha hahahaha hhahaha ha!

*breathes*

AAAAAAAHAhahahahahahahahah!
posted by lekvar at 7:31 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


Wait, his defense boils down to "I'm not a fag, I'm just racist?"
posted by eriko at 7:34 PM on August 7, 2007 [6 favorites]


I'll never understand the logic behind criminalizing cash-for-sex. It seems like he could have avoided arrest by simply using semantics like hi class Johns and escorts do ("Donations" for "Companionship") I'm glad to see Allen exposed, but ideally this would be his own business and not a crime.
posted by Gnostic Novelist at 7:34 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hey I can sympathize, as a straight white man sometimes I do feel nervous around black people and the only thing that can really calm me down is paying another man to suck his dick...
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 7:35 PM on August 7, 2007 [10 favorites]


Now I have a Wham! song in my head.
posted by Tube at 7:37 PM on August 7, 2007


SO FUCKING CRAZY!!!
posted by serazin at 7:39 PM on August 7, 2007


this one perhaps epitomizes today's Republicans all in one turd of person--passing laws making illegal what they love to do in secret, thoroughly racist (or at least absolutely willing to use race to distract everyone else), closet cases, pretending to be for family values and morality, etc...
posted by amberglow at 7:39 PM on August 7, 2007 [11 favorites]


Look, I'm not a hateful person or anything—I believe we should all live and let live. But lately, I've been having a real problem with these homosexuals. You see, just about wherever I go these days, one of them approaches me and starts sucking my cock.

Take last Sunday, for instance, when I casually struck up a conversation with this guy in the health-club locker room. Nothing fruity, just a couple of fellas talking about their workout routines while enjoying a nice hot shower. The guy looked like a real man's man, too—big biceps, meaty thighs, thick neck. He didn't seem the least bit gay. At least not until he started sucking my cock, that is. (gods bless the Onion)
posted by chlorus at 7:41 PM on August 7, 2007


"Your honor, I was so frightened at the sight of a huge, hulking, incredibly virile mandingo buck that I offered him 20 bucks to suck his dick just so he wouldn't rob me.

Also, I was afraid that he was going to forcibly pull my pants down and repeatedly shove his throbbing, veiny stack of black thunder deep into my quivering and receptive man-hole. In and out, slowly at first, but then gaining speed and ferocity....in and out, in and out, in and out --"

Judge: "Guilty."
posted by Avenger at 7:41 PM on August 7, 2007 [8 favorites]


I hate this story and I hate the reaction to it.

People are screaming "racist" just as loud as they can without context. There is nothing racist about saying you were intimidated by a group of black men. Hell, it happens to me all the time and you bet your ass that if I see a group of scary looking youth, I'm going the other way and/or being polite.

I don't care if they are white, black, Guyanese or Cuban.

Allen's story had the ring of truth to it, for me, at least. Then again, fat gay white guys soliciting sex in the 'hood -- well, they take their chances.
posted by cedar at 7:46 PM on August 7, 2007


Oh how I love my home state.
Where the average age, temperature, and IQ are all 80.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 7:47 PM on August 7, 2007 [8 favorites]


Allen's story had the ring of truth to it

So this is a "rainbow party" story?
posted by maxwelton at 7:49 PM on August 7, 2007


Allen's story had the ring of truth to it, for me, at least.

I guess the number of white males feeling intimidated by black men and responding by giving blow jobs to them is much higher than we all thought. I think we owe an apology to the man.
posted by Ironmouth at 7:50 PM on August 7, 2007 [7 favorites]


This is why my wife insists that I troll for gay black cock only in well lit, safe areas, like the bathroom at Borders. Or church.
posted by ColdChef at 7:51 PM on August 7, 2007 [28 favorites]


Allen's story had the ring of truth to it

what
posted by Avenger at 7:53 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Hell, it happens to me all the time and you bet your ass that if I see a group of scary looking youth, I'm going the other way and/or being polite. suck their dicks.
posted by puke & cry at 7:54 PM on August 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


There is nothing racist about saying you were intimidated by a group of black men..... Hell, it happens to me all the time and you bet your ass that if I see a group of scary looking youth

So, all black men are young and scary looking? All he said was that they were stocky and black. Would you actually be scared of any group of overweight young white men? If that's true you're quite a coward. I mean I see groups of young white men probably every day and I've never found them scary.
posted by delmoi at 7:55 PM on August 7, 2007




Hell, it happens to me all the time and you bet your ass that if I see a group of scary looking youth, I'm going the other way and/or being polite. suck their dicks.
Look offering to pay is polite. How would you feel if some termbling stranger just walked up to you, pulled down your pants and started sucking your dick? Perhaps stuffing a $20 up your ass when they finished?
posted by delmoi at 7:57 PM on August 7, 2007


So he thought he was going to "be a statistic". Well, that could explain the money, or the solicitation, but not both. Usually attackers are after one or the other. But cock and money? I mean, which one is the cake and which one is the icing? How would that work? "Here, don't beat me up, take my wallet... But wait, there's more!"
posted by boo_radley at 8:00 PM on August 7, 2007 [11 favorites]


Avenger: Yeah, I know it's crazy but I think he is may be telling the truth.

It might be an ugly truth and it is certainly colored by Mr. Allen's desire to have a career, but fundamentally it sounds plausible to me.

Cops who pursue this kind of duty tend to be, shall we say, a little overzealous. Big scary dude: gimme twenty-bucks to suck my dick. Okay. Leave me alone now. Here's your twenty.

I can see this. I know people who have been jacked for far less and I am not prepared to accept everything the Orlando PD says at face value.
posted by cedar at 8:01 PM on August 7, 2007


Bob Allen is the stupidest fucking man who has ever lived.

He has two stories, and can't decide to go with "went in to get out of the rain" or "offered to pay to suck black dick because I was skeered", so he decides to use BOTH?

I don't care if he is straight, gay, bi, or a mineral-sexual.

But he's a goddamn idiot.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:02 PM on August 7, 2007


also should be tagged w/Schadenfreude.
posted by boo_radley at 8:02 PM on August 7, 2007


This has all the ingredients of a hot fantasy except for the nasty-looking white guy.
posted by desjardins at 8:03 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


I know people who have been jacked for far less

Oral is extra, everybody knows that.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:04 PM on August 7, 2007 [9 favorites]


Actually, I don't know what the cop looks like, maybe he's nasty as well.

Nevermind.
posted by desjardins at 8:05 PM on August 7, 2007


Man, what a cocksucker...
posted by Eekacat at 8:05 PM on August 7, 2007


delmoi: So, all black men are young and scary looking? All he said was that they were stocky and black. Would you actually be scared of any group of overweight young white men? If that's true you're quite a coward.

Yeah, I'm a coward.

That's it. My cowardice displays itself each time I walk my daughter to school ducking beneath the crime tape from the latest senseless shooting (guess what, the shooters tend to be black youth). I further displayed my cowardice by moving the kids to the back bedroom after an errant round went flying through the front wall (yeah, a tough guy would have waited until the third or fourth time) of my daughters bedroom.

I'm a real pussy because I put on gloves before picking up the syringes and vials that litter the park my children play ball in.

Fuck you and your holier than thou political correctness. Come live with us and I'll be happy to introduce you to some of the 'bangers in the hood.
posted by cedar at 8:11 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar, I can appreciate to some degree your ability be a devil's advocate.

But Come On, Man.
posted by boo_radley at 8:12 PM on August 7, 2007


Also, read the PDF of his arrest affidavit and any ideas that he was scared or somehow found himself in the wrong place at the wrong time will evaporate.

Yes, the possibility exists the officer is making it up. That exists with every crime.

Note that the cop was not even engaging in Vice-squad investigations... he was investigating a robbery, when he goes into the bathroom to wash his hands, and a guy propositions him.

Sometimes, things are EXACTLY what you think they are.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:13 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is going to turn into a shitstorm isn't it? Just checking...
posted by ob at 8:15 PM on August 7, 2007


this thread has gone from Gay Republican Hijinks to OMG NIGRAS ARE TEH CRIME in like 5 minutes.

How did we do it, MetaFilter? How did we let this happen?
posted by Avenger at 8:16 PM on August 7, 2007


Allen muttered "'hi,'v" and then said, "'this is kind of a public place, isn't it,'"

Is that a reference to HIV/AIDS? As a straight married male, who doesn't dabbled in anonymous public sex, is this a slang term to admit you're HIV-positive?

Or am I way off base?
posted by Kickstart70 at 8:16 PM on August 7, 2007


Can't we just hate everyone equally?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:16 PM on August 7, 2007


Jesus, cedar, read the evidence. The black man thing is so obviously an after-the-fact attempt to deny the reality in the arrest report it's hilarious. You're on another planet on this one.
posted by mediareport at 8:17 PM on August 7, 2007


I mean, which one is the cake and which one is the icing?

You said "icing"...

you bet your ass that if I see a group of scary looking youth, I'm going the other way and/or being polite.

Offering them money to suck their dicks is an mighty strange way to be police, cedar.
posted by c13 at 8:21 PM on August 7, 2007


Alright, cedar, I'll take you at your word. Now read that arrest affidavit. Would you, someone who is afraid of black people, choose to hang out at a public park, go in and out of the bathroom a few times, push your way into a black guy's stall (after looking in twice), stand way too close to him (it is a stall), greet him, and ask to suck his dick somewhere more private?

Are you surprised to be defending this guy?
posted by redteam at 8:22 PM on August 7, 2007


I just masterbated to this post.
posted by tiger yang at 8:22 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar - if your location in your profile is up to date, your zip code had an average household income of $79,500 in 1999 (source). That's the ghetto? Really?
posted by desjardins at 8:23 PM on August 7, 2007


Another claim made by Allen shortly after his arrest was that he wanted to take shelter from bad weather,

it's raining black men
posted by pyramid termite at 8:23 PM on August 7, 2007 [5 favorites]


cedar:

The ghettos of Schenectady??

I am being 100% serious, non-snarky, and genuine when I say this:

If your neighborhood is as you describe, sell all that you have and MOVE. Tomorrow. Sell your computer, TV, couch, anything of value. U-Haul trucks start at $29 per day. I will paypal you the $29 if you need it.

Fully 90% of the cities in America would cost less to live in and be several orders of magnitude safer. Move to Springfield, Anystate, get a job at Home Depot, and watch your daughter play in a front yard and only be waved at by neighbors.

If you are DO have the means to move, but are voluntarily subjecting yourself and your daughter to life in this place, then you deserve no pity, and also, you're an idiot.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:24 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


I just got here, and I know mediareport and lekvar already fell out of their chairs laughing, and I wish I could be more original with my comment, but...

*falls out of chair laughing*

aaaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:24 PM on August 7, 2007


Eeeeee.... crap, I hate admitting I'm wrong.

After reading some of the links, and taking the time to learn what I was talking about, I tend to agree that it was a pretty lame excuse.

That said, this blindness to reality that many in this thread seem to display, baffles me. Where I live, stocky black youth *are* the enemy. It's not racist, it's demographic. I'm poor, they're poor, we live in the same place.

While the facts (pesky little details) in this case may not be conclusive (okay, they are and I'm wrong) this business of being called "cowardly" isn't sitting well. I devote a good part of my life to the community, a community that scares the crap out of me, and shouldn't be demeaned because I my opinion is contrary to the norm.
posted by cedar at 8:26 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Allen's story had the ring of truth to it

Cockring of truth, perhaps...

re: "hi, v" - yeah, I wonder what that was about. I'm guessing he made a contact on a web forum somewhere and he thought that Allen (the undercover plainclothes cop) was his contact.

I'm just waiting for screenshots of FoxNews breaking this story but "accidentally" (on purpose) stating that this douche* is a democrat.

*I have no problems with the exchanging of money/goods for sexual returns; it's the hipocrissy and racism and lying by this lawmaker that galls me.
posted by porpoise at 8:26 PM on August 7, 2007


And in the more famous case of a secretly gay Florida Republican politician, Mark Foley spends over half a million dollars of campaign contributions in his legal battle. Luckily though, if you ask for your money back, you can get it.
posted by Kickstart70 at 8:31 PM on August 7, 2007


Ynoxas: If your neighborhood is as you describe, sell all that you have and MOVE. Tomorrow. Sell your computer, TV, couch, anything of value. U-Haul trucks start at $29 per day. I will paypal you the $29 if you need it.

It's not like that.

I have an investment in this neighborhood. I own property, I participate in local government, I mow lawns and take care of the old guy down the street. He takes care of me too.

Yeah, it sucks. I know you were being sarcastic about the "ghettos" of Schenectady, but trust me, they are quite real and if I can keep Crip tags off my little chunk of the block I'm a happy guy.

In the meantime, I'll fight with the schools, call the cops and tend to my little parcel in the community garden.
posted by cedar at 8:32 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


Hmmm...I am reminded of the following:

An old man walks into a pub in Scottland, his feet shuffling, his back bent. He drags himself onto a stool and orders a beer. Placing the full glass in front of him, the bartender inquires upon his sad face.

The man answers with a smoky and trembling voice and a Scottish accent:

"Ah, tell ya man! This pub, this very pub we're just sitting in. I built it, with me own hands! But do they call me the Pubmaker? Naa!

"See the wall over there, that protects our town? I built it, with me own hands! But do they call me the Wallmaker?

"And the bridge, you know, that crosses our river, I built it, with me own hands! But do they call me the Bridgemaker?

"But I tell ya, man! YOU BUGGER ONE GOAT..."
posted by mosk at 8:35 PM on August 7, 2007


"Prior to his arrest Allen was a co-chair of Sen. John McCain's presidential campaign in Florida, a position he has since resigned."
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 8:39 PM on August 7, 2007


Eeeeee.... crap, I hate admitting I'm wrong.

Yeah, so sorry for you. Maybe apologize for your tirade against delmoi?
posted by Burhanistan at 8:41 PM on August 7, 2007


Would you actually be scared of any group of overweight young white men?

For the record, I can no longer play Quake without shaking, just a little.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:44 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


*I have no problems with the exchanging of money/goods for sexual returns; it's the hipocrissy and racism and lying by this lawmaker that galls me.
posted by porpoise at 10:26 PM on August 7


Seconded. I believe "prostitution" should be fully legal and regulated and taxed by the state, like other vices. But that's a discussion for another day.

Also Cedar, I just google-mapped what appears to be your house. It appears to be an affluent subdivision. Many of the homes have pools. Yours appears to be a large house on a large, tree-lined lot.

Ghettos? Syringes? Police tape? Are you making stuff up?

I understand the neighborhood drug dealer doesn't show up on Google maps... but what you're describing seems at odds to a well manicured 80 grand a year neighborhood, that's all.

If you are standing your ground and fighting, then you may want to ask what you are fighting FOR.

I'm actually quite serious about moving. I don't mean any disrespect, I"m just saying sometimes it's not worth polishing the turd any more. At some point, you quit bailing water and start swimming for shore.

More directly and less metaphorically, you get out before the property values plummet and you can't sell your house. It's called "white flight" for a reason, and you sound like a perfect candidate. Again, I'm being 100% sincere. This is not some sort of elaborate ironic grandstanding, I'm being quite serious. When bullets starting zinging through your house, you move. That's it.

Good luck to you man. What you describe sounds like hell, and if you have 2 quarters to rub together, you should be finding a way to vacate hell instead of trying to figure out how to get central a/c put in.
posted by Ynoxas at 8:46 PM on August 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


I blame Mandingo.
posted by Divine_Wino at 8:46 PM on August 7, 2007


but ideally this would be his own business and not a crime.

Being a Republican does not make him a hypocrite. Being a politician does not make him a hypocrite. Being a Republican politician who advanced his career by promoting anti-gay, "family values" bills and rhetoric while at the same time doing what he was trying to make it illegal for others to do the same makes him a massive fucking hypocrite.
posted by bardic at 8:47 PM on August 7, 2007 [4 favorites]


cedar writes There is nothing racist about saying you were intimidated by a group of black men.

Actually, that's pretty much the definition of being a racist.
posted by bardic at 8:48 PM on August 7, 2007


That said, this blindness to reality that many in this thread seem to display, baffles me. Where I live, stocky black youth *are* the enemy. It's not racist, it's demographic. I'm poor, they're poor, we live in the same place.

You want to know about "blindness to reality"? We have a thread here about a Republican state senator who solicited gay sex from an undercover police officer, and then said that he felt threatened by the officer's Most Terrible Blackness and was just forced to try and suck his cock to keep from getting robbed.

Shits and giggles all around!

Then you come in and say, "Hey, wait a minute, guys, maybe this guy is telling the truth because, hey, black people are totally scary, am i rite? Okay I was wrong about the FPP but I still maintain that young black men are the enemy. PS I'm not racist just realistic. Kthxbi."

And you're baffled by our reaction?
posted by Avenger at 8:49 PM on August 7, 2007 [6 favorites]


(To clarify a bit, if this guy was magically teleported into West Baltimore or East St. Louis at 2 am, maybe he'd have a point. Being in a public bathroom of his own volition? Not so much.)
posted by bardic at 8:49 PM on August 7, 2007


I'll bet there are black undercover cops reading Metafilter even as we speak.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:51 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Avenger you are awesome.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 8:55 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar writes There is nothing racist about saying you were intimidated by a group of black men.

bardic writes Actually, that's pretty much the definition of being a racist.

Eh? Being intimidated = racism?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 8:57 PM on August 7, 2007


Okey-dokey... one at a time.

Burhanistan: "Maybe apologize for your tirade against delmoi?"

Uh, no. I don't regard myself as cowardly and he insulted me.

Ynoxas: "Ghettos? Syringes? Police tape? Are you making stuff up? "

No, I'm not making stuff up.

I'm not seeing many pools around here. I'll check my profile but you may want to pop "420 Summit Ave, Schenectady, NY" into Google.

It's called "white flight" for a reason, and you sound like a perfect candidate.

I know you're being sincere but I went the other way. I moved here from one of the most rural areas in the country. I'm not going anywhere.
posted by cedar at 8:57 PM on August 7, 2007


Heh...I saw the 420 thing earlier and just automatically assumed it was a reference to tokin'.
posted by Burhanistan at 8:59 PM on August 7, 2007


Okay, so the only reason I'd be out after dark in a public park's restroom would be to blow a dude, or maybe get blown by a dude, but that aside, if the only people around me were young black men, I'd be little worried that I was gonna be mugged. How racist does that make me?
posted by jonson at 9:01 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Eh? Being intimidated = racism?

Because all groups of young black men want to beat you up and rape your daughter while listening to the hip-hop?

Yeah, that's racism. Better put, it's a stupid prejudice. Maybe a difference in degree, but that's about it.
posted by bardic at 9:01 PM on August 7, 2007


couldn't he have found a lobbyist who would have paid him for a bj?
posted by bruce at 9:02 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


I just google-mapped what appears to be your house.

*falls on floor laughing*

This thread just keeps on giving.
posted by mediareport at 9:05 PM on August 7, 2007


Oh, jesus, will you Outraged Defenders Of The Negro Race give it a rest? cedar fucked up, let's move on. There's cocksucking to discuss.
posted by mediareport at 9:12 PM on August 7, 2007 [5 favorites]


I don't think cedar's lying, there are some very dangerous parts of Schenectady. As he pointed out, the google map linked in his profile is not his address.

bardic, I think you're taking things to an extreme degree. Being afraid of a group of men of men of a differing race does not automatically make one a racist. You have to take context into consideration. I can remember being quite scared of a particular group of men while walking through a slum in Phnom Penh and yet I don't think I'm prejudiced against Cambodians. It was factually a dangerous place.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:15 PM on August 7, 2007


KAC: "You have to take context into consideration. I can remember being quite scared of a particular group of men while walking through a slum in Phnom Penh and yet I don't think I'm prejudiced against Cambodians. It was factually a dangerous place."

This is why racism thrives in America. There's always a war on.
Wouldn't be so afraid of those black people if they didn't get arrested all the time! Just look at the news!!
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:18 PM on August 7, 2007


This what I'm getting from that address.
posted by rcavett at 9:19 PM on August 7, 2007


I'm really at a lose here. I don't get the whole Google maps thing and I'm not really sure why it matters. Make it work or email and I'll send pictures out the damn window.

delmoi: "How often does it happen that people assault people walking near them in a totally random manner? "

Not more than a few times a week. They're stupid criminals and not very good shots.

Anyway, I really do think that people who are just terrified of people being on the same sidewalk as them really are just cowards.

I don't think that's what I said (not that it matters now). What I said is that large groups of young men make me nervous.

It's not color. It's age. If your between 14-19 you have no business on the street in the wee hours. If there are five of you, I'm going to pay attention.
posted by cedar at 9:21 PM on August 7, 2007


Baby_Balrog, first of all, I'm not defending the man in the article. Secondly, there wasn't a "war on" in Phnom Penh at the time either, so I don't know what point you're trying to make.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:21 PM on August 7, 2007


According to Forbes The crime rate in Schenectady is slightly lower then the national overall average.
posted by delmoi at 9:23 PM on August 7, 2007


:o&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp<- this is my surprised face for Jeff Gannon, Jim West, Mark Foley and Ted Haggard.












:O&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp&nbsp<- and this is my giving head face
posted by anthill at 9:23 PM on August 7, 2007


Hm. Worked in preview.
posted by anthill at 9:24 PM on August 7, 2007


According to Forbes The crime rate in Schenectady is slightly lower then the national overall average.

That's pretty much meaningless when you're talking about a very specific area of the city.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:25 PM on August 7, 2007


Racism is a cancer and you're sick and need help.

I cannot prove a negative.

You don't know me so there is no way you could understand how far off-base you are. At the risk of playing the "my best friend is black" card, I'll mention that my lover is black. My nieces and nephews are half-black and my children are half Cubano.

Dude, just because I don't like black criminals doesn't make me racist. I don't like white criminals either.
posted by cedar at 9:25 PM on August 7, 2007


[a few comments removed -- at the point at which you are saying FUCK YOU directly to other participants in this thread you shoudl be taking your FUCK YOUs to METATALK.]
posted by jessamyn at 9:27 PM on August 7, 2007


Yay! More cocksucking!

The newly-elected president of the Young Republican National Federation, Glenn Murphy, has stepped down as the group's president less than a month after being elected to the post at the group's convention in Florida last month...He is fond of using divisive wedge issues, such as gay marriage, to promote his candidates.

In a shocking police report filed by the Clark Co. Sheriff's office, Murphy is accused of sexually assaulting another man on July 29, 2007, while he lay sleeping in his bed. The alleged assault of the 22-year-old man took place in the Jeffersonville, Indiana home of his sister following a Young Republican party in which both Murphy and the 22-year-old man had been in attendance...

The victim awoke in the morning to find Murphy performing oral sex on him according to the report. When the victim asked Murphy what he was doing, he responded: "He was holding his dick with one hand and sucking my dick with his mouth." The victim then pushed Murphy away, gathered his personal belongings and left. Murphy was later confronted with the charges by the victim's sister according to the report. The sister says Murphy admitted to her that he performed the sex act on her brother.

posted by mediareport at 9:27 PM on August 7, 2007


Oops, I meant cocksucking!
posted by mediareport at 9:28 PM on August 7, 2007


I'll mention that my lover is black. My nieces and nephews are half-black and my children are half Cubano.

Gaaa-zing!
posted by mediareport at 9:30 PM on August 7, 2007


That's not just cocksucking, that cocksucking rape.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:31 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar: To make sure you know your signal is getting through, I understand you about the criminal thing. I hate criminals too. That necessarily means I hate black criminals.

However I do not understand your housing choices at all.

Your profile links to a very specific house in your town, just click the damn link in your profile and zoom in, this isn't hard to figure out. Then maybe you'll understand the "ghetto, wtf?" here.

If that house is for sale, you might want to check it out, looks like a great neighborhood.

So you moved from a rural area to a blighted urban nightmare, and you cap it by saying "I'm not going anywhere".

*blink*

I guess I just don't understand this at all.

Why you would know what it is like to not have to worry about random gunshots through your house, but still somehow tout your current existence as being better than your humble rural roots... i just don't know what to say to you.

Good luck. I guess. I don't pretend to understand your motivations, but to me it just seems like plain old stubbornness.
posted by Ynoxas at 9:35 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar, the google maps thing came from the fact that the lat/long in your profile links to a much wealthier area than the street address you later gave. Thus, at first people were questioning your contention that you lived in a poor, high-crime area.

delmoi, his particular census tract (going from the address he gave), DOES have an abnormally high poverty rate (32% higher than Schenectady as a whole) and it is reasonable to believe it has a high crime rate as well.
posted by desjardins at 9:36 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar: "There is nothing racist about saying you were intimidated by a group of black men."

Just in case, you know, Jessamyn decides to continue deleting comments.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:37 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Baby_Balrog, don't forget to remind everyone how you called cedar a "liar", despite not knowing anything about him.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:38 PM on August 7, 2007


Except that thing about him, you know, lying and stuff.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:38 PM on August 7, 2007


I don't see the point to continuing to pillory cedar. He has a wrong-headed opinion, the point has been made. This piling on and Googling his home is kinda creepy. Could we get back to the point the post topic?

Didn't somebody have a blog that listed all these republican sex scandals? I am losing track.
There's Mark Allen, Gannon/Guckert, that fake marine dude that was all the rage before they found his nude escort pics, the Reverend Hagard, Ed Shrock of VA, the co-sponsor of the Federal Marriage Amendment ... who am I forgetting?
posted by madamjujujive at 9:39 PM on August 7, 2007


How do you know he lied?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:40 PM on August 7, 2007


who am I forgetting?

Wasn't New Gingrich cheating on his wife during the Clinton impeachment proceedings?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Actually, fear of a group of young [insert racial type here] men is racist. Sorry, it just is. It's understandable in certain contexts (walking through the slums of Phem Penh being a relevant, but fairly extreme example from an American perspective), but at the end of the day, fear of a certain racial group is your own fucking problem. Get over yourselves, please. Make some friends outside of your standard racial/economic circle, for starters.
posted by bardic at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2007


This piling on and Googling his home is kinda creepy.

Agreed. It's not very classy and we're better than that.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


I see two issues: first and foremost the hypocrisy of this elected official for deriding a lifestyle in public and doing exactly that in secret. It blows my mind how often this happens with right-wing conservative types. Liberals are certainly not exempt from this hypocrisy, but it seems comparatively few and far between.

But secondly, do we really need cops hanging out in bathrooms busting guys for sucking cock? Can't they find different bad guys out there? I say let the gay prostitutes have their fun in public restrooms at night. Cops, head to the Dunkin' Donuts instead.
posted by zardoz at 9:42 PM on August 7, 2007


This piling on and Googling his home is kinda creepy.

True, but he did invite it. What should be of concern is how this thread became derailed in such a boring and spiteful manner.
posted by Burhanistan at 9:44 PM on August 7, 2007


Good luck. I guess. I don't pretend to understand your motivations, but to me it just seems like plain old stubbornness.

In any not-great neighborhood, there are good people who are trying to hold on, who are trying to make a difference by encouraging community - who, instead of running away from the Bad Things, are staying and trying to grow more Good Things. I understand why cedar would want to do this.
posted by rtha at 9:45 PM on August 7, 2007


You know what, KAC? I guess I don't know for sure that he's lying. I guess he just messed up his location in his profile and provided a more "accurate" description of his 'hood when it came time to point out how dangerous the blacks in his region really are. Because, surely, this should excuse the fact that he has defended this scum of a politician for being a blatant racist. Unfuckingbelievable.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:46 PM on August 7, 2007


Ynoxas: I don't pretend to understand your motivations, but to me it just seems like plain old stubbornness."

Yeah. That's a big part of it.

I'm not giving it up. I bought it, it's about all I own outright (except for the kids) and I have settled in. I'm in walking distance from downtown which has a huge revitalization thing going on, I love my immediate neighbors, the taxes are reasonable and my youngest is in a kick-ass magnet school.

I have a plot in the garden. I hit the church every Sunday (I'm not Christian) to touch base and make sure people have a ride when their housing explodes (happens daily).

No. I'm not giving up and I am stubborn. I smack enough dopers around, call enough cops and give a hand to those who need a hand, my neighborhood WILL get better.

I insist and I'm stubborn.
posted by cedar at 9:47 PM on August 7, 2007 [3 favorites]


Fear of a black penis.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:49 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


zardoz - As has been mentioned already, the officer was investigating a robbery and saw Allen engage in suspicious behavior. He was not staking out the bathroom looking for public sex acts.
posted by desjardins at 9:51 PM on August 7, 2007


madamjujujive: Vitter. (I have an idea for a musical based on the senator's rise and career, by the way, one that would help kick off the development of a Broadway South theater district in New Orleans. The tentative title is "Vitter!")
posted by raysmj at 9:54 PM on August 7, 2007


Actually, fear of a group of young [insert racial type here] men is racist. ... It's understandable in certain contexts ... but at the end of the day, fear of a certain racial group is your own fucking problem.

Wait, so you're saying my fear in that particular (extreme) situation was actually racism? Understandable racism, but racism nonetheless? I don't agree with that. What if I were Cambodian but still afraid of those unknown men in that dangerous spot, what would my fear be then?
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 9:54 PM on August 7, 2007


fer christ's sakes, KAC, read his blog. it's linked to in his profile. i'm going to bed.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 9:55 PM on August 7, 2007


Man, how big of balls do you have to have to just barge into a restroom stall and start offering cock-sucking money? I get almost too nervous every time I call a guy for pot, I can't imagine just whipping out twenties in public restrooms with a sheepish grin on my face.
posted by 235w103 at 10:03 PM on August 7, 2007


Ah yes, Vitter - how quickly we forget! And Newt. OK, I thought of a few more: Henry Hyde, Bob Livingston, Bob Barr, Rudy Giuliani.

raysmj, that would be poetic justice.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:03 PM on August 7, 2007




Nonsense.

Where the hell is reality around here? Fear of a group of young men, in context, is perfectly sensible. I think it's called self-preservation.

The context part counts. Twenty-five black men at a Christian convention would not bother me, twenty-five white men at a KISS convention would not bother me (though I might laugh).

Twenty-five black men at a "Players Ball", three blocks from me would bother me a great deal. Hell, three black men selling rock upstairs from would get somebody hurt. Twenty-five white men at an Aryan Nations convention would bother me even more. Three white men espousing hate would be just as bad with the same consequences.

Context. I am not a racist because I loathe black youth who are armed and wish me ill. I am not afraid to walk in the street and am not a coward -- however, that little punk three houses down with his colors on his head and his rep sticking out of his waistband, scares the shit out of me.

posted by cedar at 10:07 PM on August 7, 2007


however, that little punk three houses down with his colors on his head and his rep sticking out of his waistband, scares the shit out of me.

yes, but would you really offer to blow him in order to feel safer, because this is an impulse you seem to acknowledge in others?
posted by bruce at 10:13 PM on August 7, 2007


But secondly, do we really need cops hanging out in bathrooms busting guys for sucking cock?

Dude, he was just in the park investigating another crime when this guy busted into his bathroom stall asking to suck his dick. Frankly, I'd like cops to arrest people that.
posted by delmoi at 10:36 PM on August 7, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dude, he was just in the park investigating another crime when this guy busted into his bathroom stall asking to suck his dick.

Oh, sure, that's what the cop *wants* us to think.
posted by mediareport at 10:41 PM on August 7, 2007


One more once
posted by hortense at 10:41 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar: What exactly are you trying to accomplish here? There is a difference between someone who is a criminal and a larger set of people who happen to dress the same way and have the same skin color. I don't know what it's like where you live, but where I live violent crime is virtually unheard of. People are still talking about this murder that happened years and years ago, where some drunk rednecks from out of town stabbed another drunk guy from out of town at a frat party. The idea of being "afraid" of people seems really alien to me.

Nevertheless when you say things like Where I live, stocky black youth *are* the enemy. It's not racist, it's demographic. I'm poor, they're poor, we live in the same place That sounds pretty racist. I mean if most people where you live are black then most criminals will be black, but the vast majority of "stocky black youth" will not be criminals, but you consider them the "enemy" simply because of their age and skin color (and BMI apparently).

And you were initially defending this guy. If you were really afraid of "stocky young black men" would you burst into their bathroom stall?
posted by delmoi at 11:04 PM on August 7, 2007


delmoi: Think "Death Wish". Sounds like cedar needs his own Paul Kersey to clean up his negro problem.
posted by puke & cry at 11:11 PM on August 7, 2007


hortense, regarding Ted Klaudt, I just looked him up on Google News again and he's just recently plead not guilty (no surprise) and a new story two hours ago has two more girls coming forward with likely new charges.

You know, I don't hate Republicans or conservatives. I just hate anyone who is a hypocrite regarding what they profess to believe.
posted by Kickstart70 at 11:16 PM on August 7, 2007


Wasn't New Gingrich cheating on his wife during the Clinton impeachment proceedings?

Yup. And as a bit of an aside, when mefi gets into hot button political issues, let me just state for the record that while many a pro-lifer has the best of intentions, it's shit like this -- actually, a constant, muddy torrent of shit like this -- that will always make your bona fides questionable. A truly staggering number of Republicans really do want to spend tax-payer money to control who you can and can't sleep with, while all the while making sure they get to do it themselves. So when a person of a pro-choice persuasion questions your desire to preserve life (a noble goal, IMO) because you really sound like yet another one of these hypocrital, damaged souls, who practices what he or she preaches against, please don't blame the "mefi lefty echo chamber." Please don't blame the "librul mainstream media." Please, blame the literal and figurative cocksuckers you've been voting into office for the past three decades who, indeed, want to come into your bedroom and tell you how to conduct your sex life, all the while doing every single one of those supposedly terrible things themselves.
posted by bardic at 11:24 PM on August 7, 2007 [12 favorites]


You guys are so cute.

Yeah, I do consider 'them' the enemy. I have a couple of 'them' and devote every waking moment of my life to keeping them off the street.

I still do defend the guy. Allen may have showed some incredibly bad judgment but I find his excuse plausible. Groups of young males, whatever their color, can be very intimidating.

I'm a feisty kind of guy. I'm big, I'm armed and I'm no joke. I'm also a father of three adolescents. The one thing I've learned, in fifteen years of this, is that once you put three boys together your in for a world of shit. One is great, two is okay. Three, and it's all over. They can't help it, they're idiots. It's what they do.

puke&cry, the only negro problem in my life is right downstairs. These black folk happen to be doing the right thing but they're too damn loud and I'm tired. So, I'm going to send their sorry asses home. It's late and they have practice tomorrow.

That's not racist. It's common sense -- something that in all of your (that'd be the collective "you") Googling and psychoanalysis of me seems to have gotten lost.
posted by cedar at 11:26 PM on August 7, 2007


Cedar: I'm sorry for giving you shit. I am trying to understand where you are coming from, but if I moved to the "big city" and got shot at and had to sidestep gangs and needles just to get to school, I would be gone within a month. Maybe a week. If that makes me a coward, I could care less.

I want to respect what you're doing, but if I'm honest, I'm not sure I do. America is a huge country. Once you introduced your family to that environment, and are staying of your own free will and stubbornness, that's where you and I part ways.

But, I do understand where you are coming from about the dangerous youth. I believe precisely the same as you. On my part, it's not racist, its actually more ageist and classist.

Regardless of what the PC brigade tells you, if the majority of crime in your neighborhood is committed by young black males, then yes, you need to cast a suspicious eye towards young black males in your neighborhood. I do not see that as racist. You are not saying all black youth are criminals. You are saying most criminals are black youth. Why people on Metafilter can never seem to grasp this simple concept can really be frustrating at times.

I'm not afraid of black people. I'm a bit afraid of poor people, but not hysterically afraid, because I grew up poor.

I'm afraid of desperate, poor, violent youth with substandard educations and no real prospects outside of criminal enterprise. That many of those happen to be black is unfortunate, but not in and of itself racist. It is a failing of the governments and the educational systems.

It's also why I don't live in an urban area. That's why I say if that is what your neighborhood has become, MOVE. Get out while the getting is good. That doesn't make me a racist, it makes me a realist. YMMV.
posted by Ynoxas at 11:29 PM on August 7, 2007


God knows what depravity Bob Allen would be forced into if he had to watch this.
posted by rob511 at 11:31 PM on August 7, 2007


Okay, so the only reason I'd be out after dark in a public park's restroom would be to blow a dude, or maybe get blown by a dude, but that aside, if the only people around me were young black men, I'd be little worried that I was gonna be mugged. How racist does that make me?

I would be more afraid of a group of young white men, but I grew up with hardcore rednecks. I don't know what this makes me. I've been sort of agreeing with the 'you are such a racist' side of this discussion, but I think by that logic I would be racist against white people, which I don't think I am. So now I've confused myself.

I do know that I don't choose to live or hang out in Woolley Swamp.
posted by frobozz at 11:32 PM on August 7, 2007


Wait, so you're saying my fear in that particular (extreme) situation was actually racism?

Yes. Going into the poorer parts of a foreign country and walking around in fear of those swarthy jibber-jabber-speaking foreigners? Pretty much a text-book example of racism. Orientalism to some extent as well.

What if I were Cambodian but still afraid of those unknown men in that dangerous spot, what would my fear be then?

Listen to how ridiculous you sound. "What if I were a Negro, but still afraid of those unknown, stocky Negroes in that dangerous (i.e., non-white, non-suburban) spot, what would my fear be then?"

Walking around in poor parts of any town, in any country, might possibly be asking for some trouble. Be aware of your surroundings. Don't do anything stupid. And don't attribute your petty, infantile fears of the other to some sort of racial or ethnic bogeyman.
posted by bardic at 11:32 PM on August 7, 2007


puke&cry, the only negro problem in my life is right downstairs. These black folk happen to be doing the right thing but they're too damn loud and I'm tired. So, I'm going to send their sorry asses home. It's late and they have practice tomorrow.

How do you think they would feel if they read this thread?
posted by delmoi at 11:33 PM on August 7, 2007


There is a difference between someone who is a criminal and a larger set of people who happen to dress the same way and have the same skin color. I don't know what it's like where you live, but where I live violent crime is virtually unheard of.

No, not really.

People who dress the same way around here are part of a 'set'. They, and their crew, will fight as brothers. Violently, if need be.

We, myself and the church/cop/community people who care, track this. We follow the tags and talk to the kids. Most of them are second generation while a few have bangin' grandparents. There is an entire generation of kids that are/have fallen through the cracks and if it isn't addressed, now, they are going to turn up on your doorstep a few years dowb the road.

Here is the ugly part. They are black. They are Guyanese. They are West Indian. Whatever, but they ain't white and to acknowledge this isn't racist, it's realist. So, you can dress things up and pretend it's a color blind world. Or, you can acknowledge that prejudice exists for a great many people, on a daily basis, and do something about it.
posted by cedar at 11:39 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar I still do defend the guy. Allen may have showed some incredibly bad judgment but I find his excuse plausible. Groups of young males, whatever their color, can be very intimidating.

I'm sorry, I was going to say that I wish I could tone down some of my rhetoric earlier, but please cedar, get bent. You still haven't even RTFA! The dude wasn't walking in a "bad part of town," he opened up a bathroom stall door and asked to suck a stranger's dick!

Sorry, but as has been suggested, you really do need some help. I'm sorry some bad things must have happened to you in the past that have turned you into a vile little person, but please, try to keep your mind open. Not all black men, even the young ones with bandannas, are out to get you and your family. They struggle with the same shit we all struggle with, but you've obviously let way too much of it get to you.
posted by bardic at 11:40 PM on August 7, 2007



How do you think they would feel if they read this thread?


They are reading it. And laughing.

Then again, they're all idiots getting ripped before two-a-days start tomorrow. They're toast and they know it.
posted by cedar at 11:42 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar, this whole thing started because you said you thought this scumbags explanation was plausible because you're scared of black people. That's where it starts and ends for me.
posted by puke & cry at 11:42 PM on August 7, 2007 [2 favorites]


I'm sorry some bad things must have happened to you in the past that have turned you into a vile little person...

Okay, then.

I think I'm trying too hard to explain myself to strangers and will stop.

I'm really not a racist, a coward or a vile little person.
posted by cedar at 11:47 PM on August 7, 2007


cedar, this whole thing started because you said you thought this scumbags explanation was plausible because you're scared of black people. That's where it starts and ends for me.

That's because your simple and would rather jump on a single comment, since disavowed, than take the time to read the entire thread and cook up something of substance.

It may start and end there for you, but maybe it's more complex for others. So, when you fall off that horse and decide to move past your foolish preconceptions, the adults will still be here.
posted by cedar at 11:57 PM on August 7, 2007


thanks, desjardins. Next time I promise to RTFA.
posted by zardoz at 12:02 AM on August 8, 2007


cedar writes than take the time to read the entire thread and cook up something of substance.

This coming from the guy who, by his own admission, didn't read the f'ing article, and jumped to the bizarre conclusion that Allen's defense was feasible since 20 black dudes came up to him and threatened him with their shucking and jiving and "uppity" attitude when, in fact, he barged through a crapper-stall door and asked to give someone head for 20 bucks.

Really, what with your "negro problem" and "black folk" issues with "the enemy," please don't tell anyone here we need to be more sensitive to the complexities of your sad life.
posted by bardic at 12:07 AM on August 8, 2007


cedar wrote: a single comment, since disavowed,

and subsequently re-affirmed.
posted by anazgnos at 12:17 AM on August 8, 2007


bardic... this is why I keep coming back.

You're like herpes, no matter what I do, no matter what I say, you and your ilk just seep in like an oozing venereal disease. You don't learn, you don't read, you don't think. Your like some fucking protoplasmic piece of unthinking goo on a rock at the shore. You re-act, to strangers, like it matters. All impulse, no control.

Facts? You don't need any, you got the twenty guy shuck and jive going on. Hell, twenty guys, all syncopated, busting through a stall door would get anyone's attention. Too bad it never happened. Lordy, if they were 'uppity' it might have caused a riot.

I have explained myself. I don't need to explain myself, yet I did. As a courtesy. Not so much to you, I really don't give a fuck what you think, but out of respect for the site. You, my friend, are just a dick. Tomorrow, I'll forget all about this but you, you, will still be a dick.
posted by cedar at 12:25 AM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


Favorited your last comment as "A simultaneously pathetic and weird cry for help."
posted by bardic at 12:30 AM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


So, uh, anyone here read John Rechy's Numbers?

Or Joseph Wambaugh's The Choirboys?
posted by Tube at 12:44 AM on August 8, 2007


Favorited your last comment as "A simultaneously pathetic and weird cry for help."

Cool.

I could use a bit of help. I figure you're not going to run up here and help distribute food or give the kids bicycle helmets, but I bet they're doing something similar where you live.

[she made me write this. she is black, stocky and strong. sometimes I think there are twenty of her. she scares me. dang, I really am a coward.]

Fight the Power!
posted by cedar at 1:06 AM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


also should be tagged w/Schadenfreude.

I really don't think that frat boy wants to know what he stuck his dick in.
posted by oaf at 1:56 AM on August 8, 2007


White man's burden.

or white man's load?
posted by rhymer at 1:59 AM on August 8, 2007


This guy needs to take some advice from Sir Norman Fry on handling these matters.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:51 AM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


Whenever I feel intimidated by a physically superior man, I always offer him oral sex. That defuses everything. I haven't been robbed in any bathroom stalls yet!
posted by brundlefly at 3:02 AM on August 8, 2007


Previously: "Cops are sociopaths", "fuck the police".
posted by iviken at 3:05 AM on August 8, 2007


mosk writes "Hmmm...I am reminded of the following:

"An old man walks into a pub in Scottland, his feet shuffling, his back bent. He drags himself onto a stool and orders a beer."


That's not the joke, mosk. *This* is the joke:

A Frenchman goes into a pub, and is complaining about how he never gets the credit for his accomplishments.

"Een my life, I 'ave done many tings. As a young man, I swam the English Channel, but do they call me Pierre, Pierre, the Channel Swimmer?"

"Later on, I become a great stonemason and build fine cathedrals, but do they call me Pierre, Pierre, the Cathedral Builder?"

"But you suck just one cock...."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:07 AM on August 8, 2007


Ynoxas writes "It's also why I don't live in an urban area. That's why I say if that is what your neighborhood has become, MOVE. Get out while the getting is good. That doesn't make me a racist, it makes me a realist. YMMV."

Perhaps it's just me, but I can't help but have respect for those decent people who stay in dissolving communities, trying to rebuild them and put something back. It's a tough, demoralizing job, and I don't know that I could do it -- and if some of those people develop certain pragmatically based prejudices, grounded in their experiences -- well, I'm happy to give them a pass on that and let it slide. Cedar isn't talking about a fear of old black ladies, or of young black men in business suits -- he's saying that kids who dress and look like gangbangers are likely to give him pause for thought when living in a high crime area.

Fine. I won't judge him for that.

Of course, Allen's excuse *was* complete bullshit.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:31 AM on August 8, 2007


Cedar and Bardic, please take it to Metatalk.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:37 AM on August 8, 2007


I didn't read all 152 comments (there was so much shit here to wade through, I scanned through many of them) so hopefully this is new:

Kavanaugh wrote that he asked Allen about going somewhere else and Allen suggested going "across the bridge, it's quieter over there."

"Well look, man, I'm trying to make some money; you think you can hook me up with 20 bucks?" Kavanaugh wrote in the report that he had asked Allen.


Last time I checked, it wasn't illegal to ask someone if they wanted to have sex with you. The cop asked for money. Entrapment.
posted by sluglicker at 4:39 AM on August 8, 2007


"There is nothing more painful to me at this stage in my life than to walk down the street and hear footsteps and start thinking about robbery — then look around and see somebody white and feel relieved."

Jesse Jackson

He then went on to add that he puts his $20 away and doesn't ask to blow the white guys.
posted by probablysteve at 5:17 AM on August 8, 2007


God damn those black men and their sexy, suckable cocks!
posted by Pollomacho at 5:31 AM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


They are reading it. And laughing.

Then again, they're all idiots getting ripped before two-a-days start tomorrow. They're toast and they know it.
posted by cedar at 11:42 PM on August 7


Why are you showing kids an article about a guy who offered to pay to suck dick? That seems weird and inappropriate. I mean, I'm not Tipper Gore, but it just seems a little off, man.

"Hey, guys, some people on the internet are being jerks because they don't believe I'm not racist when I say black men are the enemy. Come read their comments where they discuss the ethics of sucking cock for money."
posted by Optimus Chyme at 5:34 AM on August 8, 2007


it's interesting ... people are calling cedar a racist because he lives in a neighborhood where there are black gangstras and wannabes and he feels intimidated by them

yet, the number one piece of advice people have for him is to get the hell out of dodge to a better neighborhood ... where, i suppose, there won't be those young black guys hanging on the corner intimidating people

so, cedar's a racist for staying in a bad neighborhood and feeling intimidated by the local hoods and some of you are pure unprejudiced people by not even wanting to live anywhere near such a neighborhood ... which sounds like an even more intense form of being intimidated

that seems like sheer hypocrisy, doesn't it?
posted by pyramid termite at 6:13 AM on August 8, 2007 [8 favorites]


PeterMcDermott: Thanks for the LB links. Hilarious!
posted by ob at 6:36 AM on August 8, 2007


I still do defend the guy. Allen may have showed some incredibly bad judgment but I find his excuse plausible. Groups of young males, whatever their color, can be very intimidating.

Wait. I just flagged the hell out of the pile-on to see that you affirm that Allen's excuse was plausible? I get being intimidated, fine. I'll even, for the moment, permit that Allen may have thought that the guy was after money. But please, please explain how propositioning the cop was done in self-preservation?
posted by desuetude at 6:39 AM on August 8, 2007


I think that the perception of cedar being prejudiced against blacks comes from his statements about "a negro problem", that "'they' are the enemy" and other such loaded statements. I also think that cedar's automatic backing of the "white guy", in this situation despite the bullshit alibi doesn't necesarrily paint him in a good light. I certainly don't think that he is a racist for living in a poor black community. I don't think that he's racist for being wary around thugs. Hell, I'm big and black, and thugs make me uncomfortable. Unfortunately, cedar says things that make me think that he does have issues with black people.

And please, the my friend/wife/girlfriend/lover/boss/ next-door-neighbor is black line does not automatically free you from any prejudices. I have met many non-black people who were involved in some way (even married) to black people and yet they still had stereotypical ideas and prejudices against black people.
posted by anansi at 7:20 AM on August 8, 2007


pyramid: in defense of everyone else, I think I am the only one who has said to "get the hell out".

That is only my solution and what I would do if I were to suddenly (?) find myself in the kind of deplorable conditions cedar describes.

If someone else wants to stay and fight the good fight, then it is their life, they are free to do what they want. However I disagree with keeping your kids in that kind of situation during this exercise in prideful expression. Again, just one man's opinion.

But America is too large and too full of opportunity and large swaths of areas that are NOT urban battlegrounds for me to bother pouring my life into one small pocket of shit, hoping against hope that I somehow have more stamina, time, and resources than the thugs, hoodlums, and gangsters.

As I said before, I would spend my time and resources trying to vacate Hell, rather than trying to figure out how to get central a/c installed. If that makes me a coward or a slacker, then so be it.
posted by Ynoxas at 7:30 AM on August 8, 2007


This is why my wife insists that I troll for gay black cock only in well lit, safe areas, like the bathroom at Borders. Or church.

The Lord be with you!
Nnnn alllfmo wif 'ooo
Lift up your heart!
We lifff'm oo'a Lor'
Let us give thanks to the Lord our God.
I'ss righ' oo giff'm famks nnn pres
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:38 AM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


bardic writes Going into the poorer parts of a foreign country and walking around in fear of those swarthy jibber-jabber-speaking foreigners? Pretty much a text-book example of racism.

bardic, first of all this is utter nonsense, and second it's rather offensive. You're imputing beliefs on my part that did not and do not exist.

I'm not sure why you believe it's somehow racist to visit impoverished areas of foreign countries. I happened to be working in Cambodia on a documentary, not slumming about to see how the "swarthy" foreigners live.

And as for the "Jibber-jabber-speaking foreigners", I don't recall that being on my mind. I speak two of the languages of that region, so I don't think I would have been thinking of Khmer as jibber-jabber. In fact earlier during that trip I had to speak Lao in order to communicate with a Cambodian I met as that was our only common language.

The reason I was frightened was because I was in a dangerous area, at a dangerous time, and confronted by strangers. At the time there had been a lot of muggings of foreigners, some friends of mine among them. It was foolish of me to be out alone, yes. But I wasn't afraid of some scary racial bloc, I was afraid of a group of particular young men in a particular context.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 8:41 AM on August 8, 2007


... The officer: “I was standing against the far wall of the stall. Allen closed the door behind him and stood against it. I said “what’s up” and Allen said “Hi.” Allen then said “this is kind of a public place isn’t it.” I said “do you have somewhere else where we can go?” Allen said “How about across the bridge it’s quite [sic] over there.” Allen engaged me in a conversation in which he agreed to pay me $20.00 in order to perform a “blow job” on me.”

The above exchange took place after Allen entered the restroom twice cruising, peeped over the stall wall at the officer and then pushed open the door to join the officer to proposition him. ...

posted by amberglow at 9:04 AM on August 8, 2007


Come on ROU_X, everyone knows the Episcopal Church is no place to find black cock. WASP cock, sure, but for black cock you should try up the street.
posted by Pollomacho at 9:28 AM on August 8, 2007


I think the point that amberglow may be trying to make, which has been lost in this whole thread-long firestorm, is that Bob Allen, the original subject of this post, all allegations of racism aside, is an unvarnished, good old-fashioned hypocrite.

It doesn't take rocket science to figure that out.
posted by blucevalo at 9:31 AM on August 8, 2007


Well, I don't know if Putnam's study mentions this but having to offer blow jobs to large, black men (and pay them no less) is another one of the downsides of diversity. Time was when you could go into public restroom and blow a white guy free of charge. The times they are a changin'.
posted by MikeMc at 9:34 AM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


anansi writes "Hell, I'm big and black"

Can I interest you in an easy twenty dollars?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 9:49 AM on August 8, 2007


Unmasking hypocrites is cool, but cops hanging around bathrooms and feigning interest in sex (in order to be approachable, as opposed to pretending to be someone who is being approached without cause) is messed up. And way too many of the comments and stories linked go with the wording that this Allen offered the guy money, when it was the cop who suggested it--and the wording there is pretty vague...he didn't say "yes, if you give me $20," he said more like "I could use some money." It seems little more a direct trade than it is to buy someone drinks before getting it on.
posted by troybob at 11:38 AM on August 8, 2007


troybob-

I agree that this kind of sting operation is totally fucked up. Everything about that story made me want to punch my computer screen, including the fact that guys get entrapped for soliciting sex, and the asswipe, racist, self-hating fuck who got busted.
posted by serazin at 1:33 PM on August 8, 2007


Come on ROU_X, everyone knows the Episcopal Church is no place to find black cock.

I assumed that ColdChef, being a chef, would some assurance that any gay black cock he might find himself engaged with would belong to someone who knew at an instinctual level which fork to use in any and all circumstances.

Should I be impressed or horrified that you recognize the Episcopal liturgy as spoken with a mouthful of boner?
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 1:49 PM on August 8, 2007


PeterMcDermott, it's like those clips were made for just this situation - totally hilarious, thanks for posting.
posted by madamjujujive at 1:57 PM on August 8, 2007


Should I be impressed or horrified that you recognize the Episcopal liturgy as spoken with a mouthful of boner?

Christ has died.
Christ is risen.
Christ will come again.

I'm a priest's son. I've spend hours upon hours as a pre-teen acolyte thinking about cheezy innuendos to that liturgy. It's second nature at this point.
posted by Pollomacho at 2:09 PM on August 8, 2007 [2 favorites]


If Allen had read Laud Humphrey's 'The Tearoom Trade' he would know that this happens all the time and you need a lookout, a function often provided by a voyeur.

Also, you should only approach someone who is obviously looking to participate in a sexual act. According to that book the indicator for which is having a visible erection. Unless the cop was suffering from an undesired erection at the time then Mr Allen blundered.

Finally, I feel sorry for his wife and kid.
posted by knapah at 2:18 PM on August 8, 2007


I have no problem with sting operations like this if it cuts down on sex in public areas. I don't want to enter a public toilet to find it full of people fucking and sucking.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 2:28 PM on August 8, 2007


I don't really know anything about cruising etiquette, but bursting into someone's toilet stall like that just strikes me as incredibly rude.
posted by maryh at 2:41 PM on August 8, 2007 [1 favorite]


I'm sort of with Kraftmatic on this. I think the idea of sting/entrapment ops like this is repellent, but on the flipside, I'd really like to be able to use a public loo without being propositioned or ogled.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:53 PM on August 8, 2007


For the umpteenth time -- from what we know, this wasn't a sting. The undercover cop was in the park looking into a different issue, and Allen decided to barge into the officer's stall and ask to suck his cock.

I mean, I think the whole gay-panic sting thing is silly myself, and a waste of resources in general. Should cops bust people if a public park's bathroom facilities are overrun with people cruising? Probably. Is Allen's "defense" not only racist, but also playing upon fears that big Brother Mandingo's gay lust can only be appeased by your pretty white mouth? Pretty much.

Anyways, the fact that anyone would even give a whit of credibility to Allen's explanation really boggles my mind.
posted by bardic at 3:03 PM on August 8, 2007


bardic, some people up thread moved on from this particular non-sting incident and were talking about stings in general.
posted by Kraftmatic Adjustable Cheese at 3:14 PM on August 8, 2007


Yeah, bardic, I know it wasn't a sting--or, at least, it wasn't a planned sting. Why would the cop ask for money, though, if it weren't a sort of impromptu sting?
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 3:27 PM on August 8, 2007


Maybe the cop just needed twenty bucks. You know, to buy some crack from the guy in the next stall.
posted by Floydd at 7:45 PM on August 8, 2007


Yeah, bardic, I know it wasn't a sting--or, at least, it wasn't a planned sting. Why would the cop ask for money, though, if it weren't a sort of impromptu sting?

I suppose the cop was thinking about how to "stick" the case. But come on, I don't want men barging into my bathroom stall while I'm taking a dump trying to suck my dick. That's totally obnoxious behavior and I have no problem with cops arresting people for it.
posted by delmoi at 7:55 PM on August 8, 2007






In related news --

Minister In Skirt Charged With Indecent Exposure
"A Baptist minister has been charged in Tennessee with indecent exposure and driving under the influence.

Police said 58-year-old Tommy Tester of Bristol, Va., was wearing a skirt when he was arrested last week after allegedly relieving himself in front of children at a car wash.

A report also accuses Tester of offering police officers oral sex and says an open bottle of vodka and empty oxycodone prescription bottle was found in his car when Tester was arrested Friday.

Authorities identified Tester as the minister of Gospel Baptist Church in Bristol and an employee of Christian radio station WZAP-AM, also in Bristol."
Another paragon of virtue and protector of 'family values.'
posted by ericb at 9:37 AM on August 9, 2007



$20 blowjob Bob Allen won't resign


(and meanwhile Vitter's still in his job too)
posted by amberglow at 1:23 PM on August 14, 2007


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