Comments on: Home Surgery

Home Surgery

John of Michigan — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:18:20 -0800

Ewwwwww. Do-it-yourself home lipoma (fatty tumor) excision. But, to be honest, I can't tell if the surgery or the accompanying music is more sick-making.

By: PostIronyIsNotaMyth

PostIronyIsNotaMyth — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:20:31 -0800

Yeah like I'm gonna click on that.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:28:46 -0800

*watches 10 seconds, runs away screaming*

By: MaryDellamorte

MaryDellamorte — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:28:51 -0800

That was actually pretty quick. I wish it had lasted longer.

By: mdonley

mdonley — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:38:42 -0800

Photo worse than video here.

By: Tenuki

Tenuki — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:44:48 -0800

I've sutured myself before but I think I'll leave the more advanced stuff to the professionals.

By: blenderfish

blenderfish — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:52:26 -0800

I've sutured myself before but I think I'll leave the more advanced stuff to the professionals. "Advanced stuff"? So, are you saying that the professionals suture fancy?

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:53:38 -0800

I watched that wondering how someone who was skilled enough to know what to look for and what to cut (as well as what to extract and how it can be done) would do that without the necessary medical knowledge that would include usage of an anesthetic, a proper operating environment, antiseptic swabs, and whatever else one would otherwise use. I know quite a few basement surgeons who do things like tongue splitting, amputations, scarring, and the like - but they're all quite a bit more professional about it.

By: ORthey

ORthey — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:54:56 -0800

That photo is NOT worse than the video. Not by a longshot.

By: spacelux

spacelux — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:56:23 -0800

The US health care system works wonders.

By: maryh

maryh — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 23:56:30 -0800

It's like Sicko for cutters. Deaf cutters. Who hate themselves, and their thighs. Yuck.

By: Mr_Zero

Mr_Zero — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:00:47 -0800

I know quite a few basement surgeons who do things like tongue splitting, amputations, scarring, and the like. What? Quite a few? Where the hell do you live?

By: rmmcclay

rmmcclay — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:01:28 -0800

Pretty good work actually.

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:06:44 -0800

Mr_Zero : Hollywood, CA. It's not uncommon to find piercers around here with a side-business of DIY surgery in their apartments/homes. You just need to know who to ask, and how to ask them. Most have a "public" portfolio and a "private"portfolio.

By: YoBananaBoy

YoBananaBoy — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:07:05 -0800

rotten.metafilter.com

By: Poolio

Poolio — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:11:02 -0800

Wasn't the "batshitinsane" tag invented for posts like this?

By: rolypolyman

rolypolyman — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:19:51 -0800

Next month: craniotomy using a Dremel tool, sterilized plastic forks and knives, and a Dustbuster.

By: metasonix

metasonix — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:47:45 -0800

You are a bunch of babies. Lipomas are nothing--just cosmetically unattractive. Removing a lipoma is trivial, usually done in the doctor's office, in exactly the same way shown in the video. Five minutes, three stitches and he sends you home with a tube of antibiotic cream. That guy in the video will end up with a tiny scar--IF he keeps it clean while it heals.

By: crabintheocean

crabintheocean — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:56:15 -0800

For a horrible second when he was holding it up, I thought he was going to eat it.

By: dirigibleman

dirigibleman — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:57:02 -0800

Can I make bacon from this?

By: bruce

bruce — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:57:30 -0800

just had to share with y'all this result from a search for "do-it-yourself circumcision".

By: Poolio

Poolio — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 00:59:00 -0800

Can I make bacon from this? At the very least, you can make it taste like bacon.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:05:27 -0800

posted by rolypolyman Next month: craniotomy using a Dremel tool, sterilized plastic forks and knives, and a Dustbuster. Here you go!

By: pjern

pjern — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:21:05 -0800

Jesus H. Christ on a fucking crutch.

By: sharpener

sharpener — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 01:47:56 -0800

I'm with metasonix. I'm no doctor and don't particularly revel in the sight of blood and gore, but that looked relatively quick and painless. I'd say the girl was a nurse or doctor-in-training. Big hairy deal. Medical practices of the middle ages — hell, the 19th century — creep me out as more "gross" and "archaic."

By: St Urbain's Horseman

St Urbain's Horseman — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:51:46 -0800

I'll see your lipoma and raise you the voiding of one sebaceous cyst. (NSFW language, visually not safe for anyone, anywhere...)

By: PontifexPrimus

PontifexPrimus — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 02:56:41 -0800

rmmcclay: "Pretty good work actually." That's what I thought, too. It looks as if it was removed completely, there was hardly any bleeding and the wound looked clean and neat; I would have complained about the goofball that moves (blurry) into the shot shortly after the incision is made. Operating under such conditions might be ok for smallish stuff like that, but having your friends jump between the camera and the operating area where someone handles sharp knives does not seem like a very good idea. Likewise I would have asked the girl who looks as if she's about to vomit to stay back a little bit further, just in case...
Oh, and I wold have something like that done by a real doctor, if only because I've seen what happened to friends of friends who tried to save money on piercings; infections are risky, and avoiding them is worth a lot.

By: PsychoKick

PsychoKick — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 03:01:44 -0800

Surgery only squicks me out during the initial cutting. I find the vague transitional period between "whole human" and "bloody guts" unnerving (probably has something to do with the uncanny valley effect). Once the incisions has been completed though, it's no more disturbing to me than a butcher shop.

By: Goofyy

Goofyy — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 03:57:16 -0800

Where's the 'gross' here? I've got one of those things myself. I'd give this a try, except the thing is on my back, and I can't see what I'm doing.

By: seanmpuckett

seanmpuckett — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 04:38:24 -0800

The music is worse than the video. Goddamn myspace.

By: The Mermaid

The Mermaid — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:04:26 -0800

Just like crabintheocean, I thought he was going to eat it too. That said, it was actually a pretty good job.

By: Jody Tresidder

Jody Tresidder — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:11:50 -0800

One less thing I have to do today - clink anything here, I mean.

By: substrate

substrate — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:15:28 -0800

Where's the 'gross' here? I've got one of those things myself. I'd give this a try, except the thing is on my back, and I can't see what I'm doing.

See, who needs healthcare for all? You're all a bunch of whiners! I'm offering a special this week, any routine 'menu' surgery with an ala carte black market collagen or botox injection [*]. // Microscopic font [*]Buyer assumes all risk, in the event of medical mishap internment services will be provided for free. Rolled up in a carpet - at the bottom of Lake Superior.

By: jadepearl

jadepearl — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:17:01 -0800

Yeah, that 'sebacious cyst' video is interesting, but more for the conversation about how it is NOT a spider bite and whether it is a MRSA boil. I was a bit appalled that he did not take any sanitary pre-cautions -- the kitchen shears were a bit much and the tweezers, ah yes, low control tweezers. If any of the medical folks here can clarify what it was that caused that cyst that would be good and what was that material that was dangling from the wound?

By: exlotuseater

exlotuseater — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 05:35:46 -0800

death. liquid death was dangling from the wound. (not a medically qualified opinion)

By: blue_beetle

blue_beetle — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 06:38:02 -0800

So you want to remove your own appendix?

By: caution live frogs

caution live frogs — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 06:41:52 -0800

I saw that trepanation thing a while ago. Still can't get over the fact that there exist people who think that the brain can work better than it already does, encased by a skull. The idiocy astounds me. "Pulsation" and "dormant areas" and all that crap. If you think drilling a hole in your head will make you smarter, your entire brain is a dormant area.

By: scalefree

scalefree — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:05:13 -0800

I've got a good sized sebaceous cyst on top of my head. I don't have insurance to cover it now, but I can't imagine trying to remove it myself.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:13:37 -0800

I call fake. The initial incision doesn't bleed at all. Even the sides of the skin flap aren't red. And there's a quick cut right before she pinched the lump. After it's removed, there's no blood filling the hole. I bleed more if I cut myself shaving. It looks like a cheesy latex flap glued over a piece of plastic that is covered with red paint When they cut into it, the paint slides around a bit, but there's no flow. Blood would be pouring out of that wound.

By: The Monkey

The Monkey — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:14:01 -0800

Holy shit, that spider bite one is... Genuinely sickening. To begin with it wasn't too bad, but then it just kept going and going and going. It's funny that this should come up now, I linked this nasty home cyst removal video on my site just a week or two ago.

By: kosem

kosem — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 07:50:33 -0800

I know quite a few basement surgeons who do things like tongue splitting, amputations, scarring, and the like - but they're all quite a bit more professional about it. I got wondering about if you could get a real surgeon to split your tongue. It seems that you can. I wonder about scarring.

By: noble_rot

noble_rot — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:02:11 -0800

It doesn't bleed because she's squeezing under the incision the entire time. That's what surgeons use hemostats for (hence the name).

By: solipsophistocracy

solipsophistocracy — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:34:39 -0800

crabintheocean, In one of Vice magazine's "Party Issues," a guy eats the cyst after home surgery to remove it from his head. There's even a picture of the cyst on his tongue. I can't find it in the online version though, sorry.

By: Muddler

Muddler — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 08:56:37 -0800

What a wonderful way to become infected!

By: empath

empath — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 09:12:15 -0800

I squeezed a cebacious cyst on my back out once. It started out as just a little stringy bit of wax, but just kept going, and going and going and going. I think I had a big enough pile of stuff at the end of it to make a candle out of it if I wanted to.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 09:55:54 -0800

I watched this around 2 AM last night after struggling with insomnia. My heart began to race, my breath became short, I began to sweat and almost puked, in short I had a fair to middling panic attack. Slammed the laptop shut (cursing John of Michigan). Took half of a xanax, went to bed, slept like a babe. Thanks Metafilter, you rock!!

By: SassHat

SassHat — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 10:00:34 -0800

These are the things we hate to love. Gross. And totally awesome.

By: cdcello

cdcello — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 10:29:17 -0800

oh thats nothing! Wait till you see a perirectal abscess drained!

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 10:56:58 -0800

If you think drilling a hole in your head will make you smarter, your entire brain is a dormant area. "You need a hole in your head like . . . well, like you need a hole in your head."

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:01:41 -0800

Do-it-yourself home lipoma (fatty tumor) excision I think we of the YouTube generation have just witnessed the birth of a new and improved Internet Tough Guy.

By: redteam

redteam — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:08:28 -0800

I thought I had a gross, but poppable/drainable cyst in my mouth for way too long. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to drain that thing. Then I finally went to the doctor and he discovered that it was a lipoma. Extracting a lipoma from the inside of your mouth is pretty heavy duty stuff. Thank goodness I didn't do it on my own. Here's what my little offspring looked like when it was out. Ew, ew, ewwww.

By: killy willy

killy willy — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 11:39:06 -0800

soooo glad nobody has invented smell-o-vision for the intertubes.

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:03:20 -0800

By: revmitcz

revmitcz — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:20:21 -0800

I got wondering about if you could get a real surgeon to split your tongue. It seems that you can. I wonder about scarring. It's a surprisingly quick and (as I understand, painless) procedure. And reversible. I'd probably get it done, but my biggest fear is ending up with a lisp. That would ruin my goals of doing voicework. Anyway - scarring is minimal.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 13:55:05 -0800

If we're nominating for the grossest of youtube, I'd have to say that this quartet of videos* takes the cake. *in which a physician extracts multiple liters of pus from each of several patients. For the medically skilled among us, the physician who filmed these asks for suggestions about WTF is going on. posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 4:03 PM on August 10 Dear god, if any videos every justified both the YouTube login and age verification warnings, these do. Question for the medical professionals. Pus is white blood cells, blood, and bacteria, right? So when they drain these things, especially in the quantity from those leg videos, why wouldn't they pour some alcohol into the pan first, to kill everything living in that horrific liquid. You know just in case. Doctors are heroes. I admire their patience. IF I was a doctor, after draining four liters of pus from the patient. I would stitch them up, get myself cleaned up, and then punch in face them as hard as possible yelling "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

By: ROU_Xenophobe

ROU_Xenophobe — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:02:29 -0800

In this case, what's wrong with them is that they're rural Africans without regular access to health care, and are probably used to enduring painful chronic conditions.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:23:49 -0800

I used to collect autopsy photos for fun, but this stuff is just too much. That spider bite.... Now where the hell did I leave that xanax....

By: milovoo

milovoo — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:35:07 -0800

Yeah, that 'sebacious cyst' video is interesting, but more for the conversation about how it is NOT a spider bite and whether it is a MRSA boil. I realize this doesn't help in this case, but Staph has a very distinct smell. You can usually tell something is staph-y before the dressing even comes off. Something that size being drained into the open air - it would have been pretty obvious if you were there. (and why guess MRSA first when there is plenty of normal staph out there? Does resistant staph form bigger tumors? That's an actual question, I have no idea.) I would say that looks reasonably like a spider bite with some envenomation.

By: Liosliath

Liosliath — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 15:27:28 -0800

This is awesome. I still don't understand what makes pus that consistency, though. Especially where the guy with the thing on his jaw pulls out something that looks exactly like a worm at the end.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:47:32 -0800

My palomeidal abcess was worse. Imagine sprouting a second asshole above your regular one, except it always hurts like hell, and you can't control when the sticky, smelly stuff comes out of it.

By: Lucy2Times

Lucy2Times — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 17:54:55 -0800

We'll be seeing more of this. 50 million Americans without health insurance. It's a growing home hobby. Get in now while you can.

By: Liosliath

Liosliath — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 20:53:28 -0800

Tehloki, do you mean a pilonidal cyst (abcess)? I have to tell you, you just get more interesting in my mind every day. (For the Pilonidal + swollen uvula, that is)

By: tehloki

tehloki — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:55:38 -0800

The doctor in Minnedosa MB (this thing happened on Katimavik) was from South Africa, and had a thick accent and indecipherable handwriting. Who knew I was calling it the wrong thing all this time....

By: tehloki

tehloki — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 22:58:32 -0800

Also, via Lioslath's link: "Rush Limbaugh, the conservative talk show host, was not drafted during the Vietnam War because he had been classified 1-Y (previously referred to as 4-F) after a physical found that he had an inoperable pilonidal cyst." 1st thought: damn, I have something in common with Rush Limbaugh 2nd thought: HAHAHA! COUNTING HIS MOUTH, HE HAS THREE ASSHOLES!

By: petersn1

petersn1 — Wed, 15 Aug 2007 18:48:24 -0800

I love these weight loss videos! Eehk!