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Chimp Walking Bulldogs
August 16, 2007 10:36 PM   Subscribe

I've been struggling for days to refrain from posting this video of a chimp taking five British bulldogs for a walk around the streets of Japan, and it looks like I failed.
posted by jonson (59 comments total) 19 users marked this as a favorite

 
That monkey sucks at dog-walking.
posted by item at 10:46 PM on August 16, 2007


Japanese television intrigues me. It's like a distillation of american just-for-entertainment TV. They really have the "no educational value" thing down.
posted by The Esteemed Doctor Bunsen Honeydew at 10:47 PM on August 16, 2007


How DARE you?!? He is the GREATEST dog-walking monkey in the history of the great apes.
posted by jonson at 10:47 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


It's begun. The apes will be enslaved soon. They will later take over the earth and return the favor.
posted by IronLizard at 10:48 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


THEY HAVE BACKPACKS.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 10:48 PM on August 16, 2007 [3 favorites]


but what happens next?? what does the hawk do?
posted by Quidam at 10:49 PM on August 16, 2007


Next thing you know, chimps will be moonwalking.
posted by Poolio at 10:51 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


He is the GREATEST dog-walking monkey in the history of the great apes.

Oh, I'm not arguing that. I'm just saying that if it were me walking those dogs, I would've only let one of them fall into the gutter. One at most.
posted by item at 10:53 PM on August 16, 2007


Which reminds me... paging Ufez Jones. Ufez Jones, you're wanted in the chimp-walking-dogs thread.
posted by item at 10:55 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


I've been struggling for days to refrain from posting this video of a chimp taking five British bulldogs for a walk around the streets of Japan, and it looks like I failed.

Your loss shall be my gain.
posted by gum at 10:59 PM on August 16, 2007


Much cuter than that leather-clad silverback ape that walks bullmastiffs around my neighborhood. Maybe it's the little backpacks.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 11:02 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


Our bulldog is sleeping under the bed, snoring away. But if he were awake, he'd thank you for this link.
posted by azpenguin at 11:18 PM on August 16, 2007


I think some of the folks who are in charge of choosing the music for these shows are brilliant: they're forever coming up with good and funny choices for the pop song snippets they always use as soundtracks for these kinds of shows. The sound effects are good too.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 11:28 PM on August 16, 2007


Actually, it looks like Chimp-A-Pan & bulldogs hang out a lot.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:29 PM on August 16, 2007


Your failure is noble, my friend.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:30 PM on August 16, 2007


I want to know what the monkey was saying.
posted by MetaMonkey at 11:36 PM on August 16, 2007


Japanese Funniest Home Videos. jonson, I am not going to call that phone number and ask for a gold star for you.
posted by Cranberry at 11:36 PM on August 16, 2007


Chimpanzees aren't monkeys.
posted by cmonkey at 11:40 PM on August 16, 2007 [2 favorites]


A monkey versus a dog.
posted by homunculus at 11:44 PM on August 16, 2007 [1 favorite]


Dude, that's too cute. My favorite, though, is miss lynnster's second Pan and James link. I wonder if the chimp learned (or learned to imitate) that quickly or if it required dozens of takes.
posted by Mister Cheese at 12:00 AM on August 17, 2007


Chimpanzees aren't monkeys.

They are when they're walking dogs.
posted by item at 12:01 AM on August 17, 2007


Japanese television intrigues me. It's like a distillation of american just-for-entertainment TV. They really have the "no educational value" thing down.

I'd think so too if I just watched YouTube clips like this, but if you watch a lot of Japanese TV, it has just as many, if not more, "serious" and educational shows as U.S. television does. What makes Japanese TV stand out, I think, is that when it's wacky, it's really wacky. The short explanation of this is it's part of the culture to be over the top if your role is a comedian...but that's a long story.

But even the wacky game shows often have really challenging questions in all sorts of subjects. Crap American shows like "Deal or No Deal" and "Who's smarter than a 5th grader" can't even compare.
posted by zardoz at 1:11 AM on August 17, 2007


Chimpanzees aren't monkeys.

item - They are when they're walking dogs.

So, what does that make people who walk dogs and/or monkeys?
posted by Poolio at 1:24 AM on August 17, 2007


That clip is from Genius Chimpanzee Pan-kun's birthday special with two more clips.

Here are my favorite Pan-kun videos:
Pan-kun cooks tanuki udon noodles.
Pan-kun joins the fire department.
Pan-kun harvests and processes the rice crop.
Pan-kun Jurassic Park special.
Pan-kun goes fishing.
posted by plokent at 1:52 AM on August 17, 2007 [3 favorites]


I may have to consider getting a bulldog now that i realize one could be employed as a laptop porter.
posted by down the rabbit lolz at 2:01 AM on August 17, 2007



Question 1: What was that song playing while he was running away with the cake?

Question 2: OMFG what happens next?!

Observations:
That chimp is a badass climber.
This show has the best sound effects ever.
That chimp could probably swing all of those dogs around in a big circle if he wanted to.
This is the best video I've seen since ... um ... well, since that Alexyss K. Tylor video - but it was a while since something ruled this much before that.

Thank you so much!
posted by redteam at 3:53 AM on August 17, 2007


This is what happens next. Pan-kun and James are currently performing Mito Komon at Cuddly Dominion's Miyazawa Theater (Pan-kun is Suke-san and James is Kaku-san). There's even an internet shop selling Pan-kun and James merchandise to Japanese customers.
posted by plokent at 4:41 AM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


I just like the fact that the monkey is dressed as an extra for a Dexy's Midnight Runners video
posted by QuarterlyProphet at 4:57 AM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


That chimp could probably swing all of those dogs around in a big circle if he wanted to.

Damn straight. Those buggers are strong. And mean. Don't fuck with them, or they'll rip your appendages off.
posted by lodurr at 5:09 AM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]


... oh, and, Jonsson? One day at a time, man. One day at a time.
posted by lodurr at 5:11 AM on August 17, 2007


This made me laugh out loud. I'm old and easily entertained.
posted by Pecinpah at 5:53 AM on August 17, 2007


That was the finest chimp walking bulldogs clip I've ever seen.
posted by AD_ at 6:30 AM on August 17, 2007


It took till about halfway through that video before I realised I was gripped by the twists and turns of the narrative. Gripped. It's like an incredible satire of all television.
posted by RokkitNite at 6:33 AM on August 17, 2007


I miss Pop Up Video. But some are available thanks to the wonder of YouTube.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:46 AM on August 17, 2007


Holy crap, that chimp speaks Japanese and Thai!
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:00 AM on August 17, 2007


Ha. I'm smarter than that chimp!
posted by howfar at 7:06 AM on August 17, 2007


It is impossible that those backpacks do not contain bento boxes, how do the bullys handle chopsticks with their stubby paws?
posted by Iron Rat at 7:08 AM on August 17, 2007


Rokkit: Exactly my reaction. At first I was all: lolmonkey! And then I was like: "BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKE???!!!"
posted by empath at 7:21 AM on August 17, 2007


But seriously, this sort of thing is really creepy. Chimpanzees are aggressive, physically powerful creatures. Anthropomorphising them in a dangerous business.

From Lodurr's last link. After James Davis had had all his fingers torn or bitten off:

Ape specialist Deborah Fouts...said the attack may have been prompted by jealousy.

'Chimpanzees have a real sense of right and wrong and fairness and unfairness," said Fouts...'It sounds like people were showering a lot of attention on Moe, birthday cake and the like. . . . Perhaps the other chimps were jealous."


I'm sure that Mr. Davis will find it comforting to believe that he was appallingly mutilated out of a "sense of right and wrong", and not because of "experts" who spout this anthropomorphic crap about wild animals.
posted by howfar at 7:26 AM on August 17, 2007


anthropomorphic crap about wild animals.

Well, too be fair, these things can learn a fair amount of language and menial tasks. It's not overly really "crapping anthropomorphism" to suggest that they have rudimentary moral systems, albeit crude and violent ones. Tennis anyone?
posted by Burhanistan at 7:34 AM on August 17, 2007


From what I understand, chimps do behave some what predictably if you know their rules. The people treating a chimp like their baby were the ones with the problem, not the scientist explaining why chimps do what they do.
posted by empath at 7:37 AM on August 17, 2007


Burhanistan, I disagree, I have to say.

"Jealousy" is not a about a sense of "right and wrong"

The evidence that great apes can actually learn language, rather that certain kinds of non-linguistic symbol use, is extremely sketchy. The primatologists who claim otherwise generally seem to exhibit the same kind of anthropomorphism that dog owners do, when they tell you "he understands every word I say".

Which is not to say that chimps aren't intelligent, but that we should respect and admire them for what they are, rather than what we would like them to be.

Monkey Tennis? Rath-er old sort!

On preview: empath, I actually think that certain kinds of primatologists are part of the problem. They do bad science and make exaggerated claims for ape language.
posted by howfar at 7:52 AM on August 17, 2007


This is the greatest thing I have ever seen on the internet, don't be jerk it up with your "science".
posted by BobbyDigital at 7:58 AM on August 17, 2007


I enjoyed that.
posted by arcticwoman at 7:59 AM on August 17, 2007


Alright! Alright! I'm just bitter because I haven't got 5 dogs with backpacks. One day....
posted by howfar at 8:00 AM on August 17, 2007


Lancelot Link, Secret Chimp!
posted by ericb at 8:10 AM on August 17, 2007


Every time I watch crazy Japanese clips like this, I think back to my family photo albums complete with silly caption stickers and cringe.
That said, so cute!!
posted by Meagan at 8:49 AM on August 17, 2007


I fail to see the wacky here.

Now if it was penguins instead of bulldogs, maaaaaybe....
posted by gomichild at 9:11 AM on August 17, 2007


I wish I were a chimpanzee. In Japan.
posted by Faint of Butt at 9:25 AM on August 17, 2007


WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CAKE?
posted by spec80 at 9:30 AM on August 17, 2007


spec80: see here.
posted by Tuwa at 9:41 AM on August 17, 2007


Gah. borked the html. here, I mean.
posted by Tuwa at 9:42 AM on August 17, 2007


You're doing the Lord's work here, jonson.
posted by Atom Eyes at 9:52 AM on August 17, 2007


THEY HAVE BACKPACKS.

And their leashes MATCH THEIR BACKPACKS!
posted by amyms at 9:56 AM on August 17, 2007


And their COLLARS! And their DIALOG BALOONS!

Do they ever take the backpacks off? What's IN those backpacks? Lots of poop bags? And they seem to be listing pretty severely to starboard toward the end there.

Thanks for this and for the follow-up/other links. Sublime nonsense.
posted by vetiver at 11:04 AM on August 17, 2007


This is further cementing my belief that the Japanese are not actually real; that they are, instead, a very advanced, animated computer construct, cleverly designed to act in ways that make me grin.
posted by quin at 11:33 AM on August 17, 2007


Also, Breaking News! Bulldogs continue to be awesome.
posted by quin at 11:34 AM on August 17, 2007


This is like the precursor to Conquest of the Planet of the Apes. Of course in that movie it only took about a generation for the Apes/Chimps/Orangutans to gain sentience and take over the world.
posted by Phantomx at 12:15 PM on August 17, 2007


Honestly, maybe I'm going all soft in my old age, but when I saw this, I couldn't help wondering whether this is really the best way to share our planet with chimpanzees.

Chimps in movies, by Jane Goodall. Not some crazy PETA person's unthinking screed; just a set of facts.
posted by ikkyu2 at 11:03 PM on August 17, 2007


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