That Make Your Own Bacon link is missing at least one crucial step. posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:31 AM on August 17, 2007
I was hoping that one of the things would be a 1080p plasma TV, but alas, no luck. posted by Prospero at 9:33 AM on August 17, 2007
I will eat all your monies when they explode. We always make a profit. posted by Burhanistan at 9:35 AM on August 17, 2007
all will be ok with the economy once we et more tax breaks for the very wealthy and restart the trickle down effect posted by Postroad at 9:37 AM on August 17, 2007
Ah. I was hoping for a golem recipe of sorts. Cool find, though. posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:43 AM on August 17, 2007
Handy Farm Devices: And How To Make Them is a must have for the coming meltdown. It is an amazing book. Interestingly, it was put back into print after being found in a used bookstore by a starving, desperate, 1970's Back-to-the-Land movement Hippie.
You will learn to build a portable chicken coop, a stone boat (for moving stone), a lightweight orchard ladder, gates that don't sag, and a handy wood splitter, as well as rudimentary farm structures, well houses, bee hives, a baby's cradle, a cheese press and much more. posted by R. Mutt at 9:47 AM on August 17, 2007
Because when the economy collapses and we're living in Mad Max, you'll still need cuff links for those "fancy dress" fuel wars. posted by justkevin at 9:48 AM on August 17, 2007
Except for windmill and solar power generator it's neglecting technological infrastructure. Being able to set up something technological (small scale power grid, cobble together vehicle from scavenged parts) will be useful after TEH COLLAPSE! posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 10:14 AM on August 17, 2007
Hula hoops, loofahs and rubber stamps? This is not how I roll on the apocalypse. Where's the ammunition, dogsled and 2CB? posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:24 AM on August 17, 2007
I would vote for maple syrup as being the most impractical:
1. Start with several acres of maple trees in March...
Though "make your own guitar" is more impractical from the point-of-view that it requires a few thousand dollars worth of tools. posted by GuyZero at 10:54 AM on August 17, 2007
Making your own whiskey and sparklers seems to be a little, well... unsafe. Especially if you make the whiskey first. posted by backseatpilot at 11:31 AM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]
Not to mention making whiskey (or any other distilled liquor) is highly illegal in the US. But if it's after TEH COLLSAPSE I guess it doesn't matter much. Plus, those are some of the worst beer brewing instructions I've ever seen. posted by slogger at 11:38 AM on August 17, 2007
People would be making all sorts of things a lot more illegal than whiskey. posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 11:52 AM on August 17, 2007
I noticed that "soft toilet paper" does not appear on that list.
What do you think these corncobs are for? posted by jason's_planet at 11:55 AM on August 17, 2007
I always wanted to know how to build a crossword puzzle posted by francesca too at 11:57 AM on August 17, 2007
I notice that a lot of the items on the list are easily made if you have access to a copy of The Joy of Cooking, which will likely survive the coming apocalypse better than the internets will. posted by lekvar at 12:30 PM on August 17, 2007
I make my vanilla extract that way, only I use rum. It's yummy.
The people that always suggest guns and ammo as the best solution to TEH COLLAPSE are, I think, the first ones that are going to end up dead. There will a big, ridiculous, violent die-off for two months, then everybody will settle down again and re-create a civil society. It's what we know. And I'm gonna hang with the people who know how to make sparklers. posted by Miko at 12:32 PM on August 17, 2007 [2 favorites]
I also notice that a lot of these thing that I can, theoretically, make my self require considerable amounts of prior knowledge and specialized tools. So, really, the ideal lekvar would be able to do all this himself. However, the real lekvar is going to allow someone else to build his guitar for him. posted by lekvar at 12:33 PM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]
"a stone boat" this I want to see! "(for moving stone)" oh. posted by Cranberry at 12:42 PM on August 17, 2007
I've always suspected that I could build a pretty simple and effective electrical generation system from old cars. If I could pull out the alternators, I could cut sections of the auto-body into fan blades and turn them into windmills.
With this, I could power a television, which would display nothing but static. But that would be cool, because it's kinda cyberpunk.
I would set this up on display, and when people came to admire the genius of it, I would mug them and take their stuff.
*looks around*
What? Aren't the rest of you planning on becoming Highwaymen? posted by quin at 12:48 PM on August 17, 2007 [1 favorite]
Cranberry, is this what you are looking for? posted by quin at 12:50 PM on August 17, 2007
R. Mutt: "Build your own portable forge might be useful too."
The only thing I would caution about building a forge is that to make good use of it you must then proceed on to actually smithing metal. Which is fucking. hard.
I've been taking moderate to advanced smithing classes all summer - did my intro stuff last year - and last night I made my first hinge. One hinge. It took me many, many failures. It nearly broke my spirit as a man. If I somehow succeed in making another hinge, I can maybe build a gate or something.
I am so far from making a sword that it makes me want to cry. posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2007 [3 favorites]
Anyone got a "how to care for and train a horse" article? That's an art that a big-city type might find useful, considering that's transportation and a means of accomplishing heavy work all in one swoop. posted by davejay at 12:52 PM on August 17, 2007
That Make Your Own Bacon link is missing at least one crucial step.
You read that one first, too, huh? posted by nzero at 1:25 PM on August 17, 2007
The couch link seems kinda out of the spirit. It's not how to make, but how to assemble from IKEA. posted by luftmensch at 4:15 PM on August 17, 2007
I would vote for maple syrup as being the most impractical
That one jumped out at me, too, not least because I've read theworkshop.ca's regular updates on how "easy" it is for them.
A job that lets you freeze your balls off and simultaneously suffer second degree burns?
Sign me up! posted by dansdata at 4:43 PM on August 17, 2007
I make my own peanut butter through a process called "mastication". posted by Tube at 4:44 PM on August 17, 2007 [2 favorites]
I actually found the wedding cake decorating one to be really cool. Lots of pictures of icing techniques to produce some very intricate cakes. Neato! posted by Foam Pants at 6:00 PM on August 17, 2007
If you're really talking about subsistence, maple syrup isn't impractical at all. I've made it and have a friend with a small sugaring opertaion. New Englanders still make it and have for centuries.
It's labor-intensive, but you have to look at it this way: if we were actually thrown upon the resources of our own regions for all of our food, there is almost nothing in all of the Northeast that offers concentrated sweetness like that. No cane sugar, and no corn syrup, because the growing season for corn here is so short that it's worth more in food value dried and ground than as sugar. At that time of year, particularly, it offers the fastest, most intense hit of sugar energy you can imagine, and people really appreciate it. Sugar/sweetness, in whatever form, is one of those things humans really really miss when it's gone from their diets, and here where I live, it's gone for about 9 months of the year.
It's not that hard, either. It's mainly a matter of infrastructure and being willing to walk around to your taps twice a day for six weeks or so. No biggie. posted by Miko at 8:02 PM on August 17, 2007
with regard to that "workshop" link -- geez, why'd they do it such a difficult way? That's utterly ridiculous. posted by Miko at 8:04 PM on August 17, 2007
Should anyone find themselves interested in seeing how Vermonters are making maple syrup these days, here's a shameless self link to that effect. (Click on photos to zoomify.) posted by deCadmus at 9:02 PM on August 17, 2007
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posted by Alvy Ampersand at 9:31 AM on August 17, 2007