Comments on: You're just mad because I f***ed MetaFilter!

You're just mad because I f***ed MetaFilter!

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:13:20 -0800

The on-stage rantings of various famous musicians.

By: porn in the woods

porn in the woods — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:30:10 -0800

I highly recommend the Venom stage banter, which has been a classic since its Ecstatic Peace 7" release in the early 1990s. "Blood... what? I don't think we've got one by that name!"

By: mrballistic

mrballistic — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:30:18 -0800

do the non-video media files work for anyone else?

By: drezdn

drezdn — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:36:36 -0800

They worked for me (most of the time).

By: fingers_of_fire

fingers_of_fire — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:39:06 -0800

let me be the first to say - Keith Jarrett is a fantastic musician, but he's a world-class prick.

By: Kinbote

Kinbote — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:42:18 -0800

What, no "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage?"

By: anazgnos

anazgnos — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:42:30 -0800

Nice. The second I saw this, I thought "if Bob Pollard's not on there..." and I didn't even have to carry the thought further.

By: spiderskull

spiderskull — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:44:56 -0800

If you took out the audience cheering from most of these (especially David Lee Roth's), they'd look completely off their rockers.

By: Devils Rancher

Devils Rancher — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:50:10 -0800

There's a few performers who are absolutely hilarious. Richard Thompson and Ben Folds come to mind. Chris Kristofferson played at a big gala here last may, and the organizers/musical director had a string quartet on stage for a couple of his songs. He remarked after the first one "Wow, I thought I was Ray Price for a minute... until I started singing." His delivery was awesome.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:51:38 -0800

As much as I'd like to find any redeeming qualities in Courtney Love, she simply fails at every turn. Her blowout doesn't contain a hint of irony and/or tongue-in-cheekidness. It's just a sad document on her lack of talent and the ability to deal with success and all of its ancillary crap. Re: "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage?" Thanks for that link. I had never heard of this album. Woah.

By: SmileyChewtrain

SmileyChewtrain — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 10:53:25 -0800

I just don't get the Cheap Trick one (#15). It sounds like he's a bit out of breath and saying "This next one is the first song on our new album" like a normal out of breath live show playing guy, not a "kindergarten teacher trying to reach an especially slow class" as they say in the writeup. And how is it "dope"? Am I missing something? Obvious?

By: anazgnos

anazgnos — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:01:47 -0800

Peter Gabriel's song introductions from when he was in Genesis deserved an honorable mention.

By: thanotopsis

thanotopsis — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:01:52 -0800

It sounds like he's a bit out of breath and saying "This next one is the first song on our new album" Yea, I didn't understand the critique in the commentary either, but that line is ...iconic. I can't hear that track without expect the intro to Surrender.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:07:29 -0800

Courtenay Love fucked Brad Pitt?

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:22:48 -0800

Bruce Dickinson's had a diatribe about half the times I've seen him. Someday he's going to run somebody through with a sword, or a flagpole. It'll be awesome. My favorite bit banter was from Carcass, though. Jeff Walker. I can't remember him saying a damned thing all night, except for one introduction: "We don't care if you like this next one or not. We do."

By: freebird

freebird — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:40:17 -0800

It's all the same fuckin' day, man...

By: drjimmy11

drjimmy11 — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:41:31 -0800

what, no Pete Townshend kicking Abbie Hoffman off the stage at Woodstock? oh and I'll never get people calling Courtney Love talentless. Sure, she's a convenient fish in the "easy pop culture targets" barrel, but if you actually listen to Hole's music, she had a hell of a lot of talent. If someone was Yoko in that family, I'm not so sure it was her.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:43:32 -0800

I'm surprised Robyn Hitchcock isn't #1 on the list. The two times I've seen him live, he was peaking on acid between each song--one memorable quip was, "There's nothing quite as lovely as a misplaced 'G'".

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:43:49 -0800

Elvis, as others have pointed out, should own this list.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:50:01 -0800

Is there any way to download these?

By: Neilopolis

Neilopolis — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:52:14 -0800

I love how the Black Flag roadie edited out the meat of Venom's songs, leaving just the beginnings and endings, so that each song seems like five seconds of artsy feedback with a dash of drums. And the band sounds so proud of 'em!

By: The Card Cheat

The Card Cheat — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:52:29 -0800

You want onstage rockstar rants you can download? Here you go!

By: Wolfdog

Wolfdog — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:54:23 -0800

I'm pretty sure Alexi Laiho (a man on his own very good terms with the whiskey bottle during a concert) said some stuff, but it was if anything even more incomprehensible than his singing. Safe bet that 60% or more of it was composed of "fuck" in some form or another, though.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 11:58:50 -0800

Thanks TCC, but I've already got those. There are some real treats there though - I recommend the Black Sabbath one, where the guy announces to the crowd that they're not playing and then valiantly tries to hype the crowd for upcoming shows. Big yuks. Anyways, I guess I'm out of luck as far as grabbing the avclub stuff.

By: InfidelZombie

InfidelZombie — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:02:52 -0800

I just don't get the Cheap Trick one If you listen to the whole Budokan concert you will. Every song intro is like that-- "It's... time... for... Southern... Girls" or "I... need... your love. I... need... your... ...love." I like those guys, but it's kind of annoying after a while.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:03:27 -0800

stinkycheese: Audacity, my friend. You can record your soundcard output to an MP3. Works like a charm.

By: stinkycheese

stinkycheese — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:06:51 -0800

Thanks Kevin.

By: maudlin

maudlin — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:12:08 -0800

Ah, CFNY used to play that ranting version of Sweet Jane aaaaaaalllll the time. I'm amazed that I remember almost every scrap of Lou's verbiage. "Give me an issue, I'll give you a tissue." Awesome link -- thanks!

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:16:06 -0800

I've always been partial to Gord Downie's song introductions. I saw them a a few years ago when he introduced Greasy Jungle with a long story claiming that he used to work in a hair salon called Greasy Jungle, and then throughout the entire song he pantomimed like he was washing someone's hair and then cutting it. Brilliant.

By: yeahyeahyeahwhoo

yeahyeahyeahwhoo — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:48:35 -0800

great article. wfmu has some of these online (mp3 format) in this post

By: Eekacat

Eekacat — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:49:33 -0800

Peter Wolf of J. Geils had that rap thing going between songs. It was apparent on their live album an old roommate of mine had.

By: infidelpants

infidelpants — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 12:58:27 -0800

John Darnielle (The Mountain Goats) tends toward stream-of-consciousness, almost babbling, song intros that are often quite funny. "This is a song... I know that's surprising, because you thought 'oh, maybe he's gonna do the dance piece now.' I'm not; you can forget about that. If that's what you came to see, I'm sorry, I can't offer you money back for the dance piece that won't be happening tonight. It was really good, but I don't feel up to it. It involved flame pots, and I'm not allowed to do those in here. So this is a song about how if you should happen to find yourself in high school again; it won't happen for any of you, or me, but you never do know; and you find yourself in, sort of, the clique of one (yourself) and then all the people say shitty things to you as you walk by their area of the courtyard, or the gym, or not in the theater because that's where you go to hide from these people, and you think to yourself 'the next four years are really gonna suck, junior high was bad, but this is gonna be really bad, jesus I hope I manage to make it through this and get to college I know they won't all be assholes in college.' And you think that to yourself and you find a nice significant other who is from the same sort of outcast set as you, and that's kind of nice. And then you realize, you don't have to wait to start sleeping together, you can do it right now. And then you think, 'all you jock fuckers don't know what you're missing. Y'all gonna have to wait to go to college to get drunk for this. Meantime, I'm in the backseat of a Honda Civic, two door, in the parking lot of the Little League thing, feeling like a very happy fourteen year old.'" (Intro to "Broom People", for those who care, at the Gargoyle in St. Louis last year.)

By: Oriole Adams

Oriole Adams — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:23:14 -0800

I saw Bruce Springsteen in 1985 during his "Born in the USA" tour (free ticket, otherwise I wouldn't have bothered). He did prattle on and on between songs, but thanks to the acoustics in the Silverdome, I couldn't understand very much of what he said.

By: Hogshead

Hogshead — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:34:23 -0800

Nothing for me will ever beat Wire's entry onto the stage at the Reading Rock Festival in 1992. Graham Lewis walked to the front edge, looked sternly out over the audience and announced, "Number six on your song-sheets: 'Abide With Me'."

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 13:59:40 -0800

My biased vote goes to Gord Downey.

By: ageispolis

ageispolis — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:00:21 -0800

...and that's an NIE. Sorry, Gord.

By: KevinSkomsvold

KevinSkomsvold — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:02:47 -0800

oh and I'll never get people calling Courtney Love talentless. Sure, she's a convenient fish in the "easy pop culture targets" barrel, but if you actually listen to Hole's music, she had a hell of a lot of talent. If someone was Yoko in that family, I'm not so sure it was her. I do think she has flashes of brilliance but for every ounce of it, there's a pound of crazy not far behind. Her "speech" is a nice little document of that. I was surprised to see no Zappa on the list. He's was always bantering on stage: "I have an important message to deliver to all the cute people all over the world. If you're out there and you're cute, maybe you're beautiful. I just want to tell you somethin' — there's more of us UGLY MOTHERFUCKERS than you are, hey-y, so watch out."

By: Sailormom

Sailormom — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:30:32 -0800

Good post. It's a nice companion to the Heavy Metal Parking Lot videos.

By: clavicle

clavicle — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:42:20 -0800

This thread is incomplete without Moxy Früvous. Reason number one to go to a Früvous show was to hear them, e.g., arguing between songs about whether it is or is not a big deal that Deep Blue beat Gary Kasparov at chess. (Text link does not do justice to auditory funny.)

By: madamjujujive

madamjujujive — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:45:45 -0800

Fun post, KevinSkomsvold - thanks. Is Josh Homme a mefi member? 'Hey cocksmoker, eat a bag of dicks.'

By: anazgnos

anazgnos — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:55:21 -0800

if you actually listen to Hole's music, she had a hell of a lot of talent. Please...she's been completely propped up at every phase of her career. Pretty on the Inside doesn't reveal any particular songwriting talent. The extent of Kurt's involvement in Live Through This may be debatable, but every album she's done since has openly employed a small army of co-writers and producers.

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:57:40 -0800

Colin Meloy does some awesomely erudite and dryly witty between song patter, too. Thom Yorke's "Shut up, you stupid cunt", aimed at an audience member last year in London was both admirably concise and effective.

By: signalnine

signalnine — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 14:59:24 -0800

One of my favorite concertgoing banter experiences was at Bonnaroo 2006 with Mike Doughty. He was about to start a song and then stopped to tell the audience: "Wow. This guy in the front row who I'm not going to look at just got high. I've been watching him for the past five or so minutes lovingly pack a bowl and then he just lit up and got high, right here in the open. I mean, how does he know I'm not a narc? I could be undercover. What if my entire music career has been leading up to this moment so I could bust YOU, man?" Then, Doughty stopped, whispered "This is for the stoners," kicked up the distortion on his guitar, struck a serious of really discordant chords and put his voice through some serious flange and reverb and started screaming into the mic, "I can hear your thoughts! SATAN!!"

By: jokeefe

jokeefe — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:00:26 -0800

if you actually listen to Hole's music, she had a hell of a lot of talent. Please...she's been completely propped up at every phase of her career. Pretty on the Inside doesn't reveal any particular songwriting talent. The extent of Kurt's involvement in Live Through This may be debatable, but every album she's done since has openly employed a small army of co-writers and producers. I'm a big admirer of Pretty On the Inside, and Celebrity Skin, both of which I think are brilliant, and in an argument over whether Courtney is a talentless vampire or some kind of artist wrestling all too publically with what is probably a form of narcissistic personality disorder, I'm always going to come down on the side of the latter. I'm glad I don't know her personally, though.

By: aerotive

aerotive — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:05:42 -0800

I like the Fugazi one best: "You eat ice cream; everybody knows it. Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are."

By: chuckdarwin

chuckdarwin — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:20:27 -0800

I saw Robyn Hitchcock play a song using only one note (because he was out of tune with the pianist and only had time to tune up his A string). His aplomb onstage is almost as staggering as his truly psychedelic monologues. #1 #2 and #3 should go to him.

By: gompa

gompa — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:45:47 -0800

I saw Nirvana at Maple Leaf Gardens in Toronto in '93. Cobain by that point barely even looked at the audience (the amazing part, for the record, is that he still had enough charismatic energy to fill a hockey arena), so the between-song banter fell to Krist Novoselic. Before one song - I remember it as "In Bloom," but it could've been something else - he put on this sort of wistful air and announced, "One of these nights, one of these crazy crazy nights, you're all gonna wake up really normal." I've always liked that. Kinda prophetic in its way.

By: notsnot

notsnot — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:48:37 -0800

I saw the Ass Ponys at a local festival a few years ago, and Chuck, the lead singer, was so nervous to be at a "festival" that he just flipped out into a stream of consciousness rant that went on for about half an hour. The band, dutifully, just kinda played the music of the set behind him, vamping where they could. Amazing.

By: bitter-girl.com

bitter-girl.com — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 15:55:47 -0800

Ditto chuckdarwin. Once, ca. 1992, Robyn Hitchcock played a show in Oberlin, OH and mid-set, started playing with a bunch of action figures that had been displayed on one of the amps up until the point when he started making up these elaborate action-figure swoops in mid-air, complete with accompanying stories... Damn, I love Robyn Hitchcock. I would so have his babies. I adore Courtney Love, too. What's up with all the Courtney-hate? Sheesh. She's crazy-talented and at the very least pulled-together enough to not blow her brains out when shit gets tough.

By: Twang

Twang — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:02:58 -0800

I guess this was the inevitable next thing, now that youtube has scrounged its way into all but the rarest acts (no Cyrcle yet!), but ... Maybe it needs to wait for a while, cuz this collection is motley.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:18:29 -0800

What's up with all the Courtney-hate? Well, some of us have read the songwriting credits on her better work (particularly Celebrity Skin). That Billy Corgan sure knows how to write a pop song, I'll tell you what.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:22:50 -0800

Needs more Roger Waters. I actually have a recording of this incident that I could post, if anyone could recommend an easy way to do it.

By: JBennett

JBennett — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:24:53 -0800

Gompa, I saw Nirvana on that same tour, and when a lull came around, Krist sauntered up to the mic and said... "Nothing witty to say." I saw Krist on his book tour for "For Grunge and Government" and he was super cool, super smart, and super nice. My hero.

By: bitter-girl.com

bitter-girl.com — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:40:28 -0800

The World Famous, I'll give you that -- but have you looked at the songwriting credits on just about 99.99999% of the music out there today? It's what you do with the song that counts. I'd think of some really asinine covers to back up my point, but... ...HEY WAIT! What about "Islands in the Stream"?? Dolly + Kenny Rogers, one of the best-selling singles of the year it was released, la la la... but was written by neither. Does this make them hacks? So, in conclusion: it isn't the song, it's what you do with it that counts. And Courtney Love brings some kickass life to her music, whereas Billy Corgan is a morose control freak who steadily went downhill over the years until gracing us with that re-freaking-diculous Mellon Collie and The Infinitely Too Freaking Long Concept Album. (Disclaimer: I *love* early Smashing Pumpkins. Later SP? Noooooo).

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:47:00 -0800

I'll give you that -- but have you looked at the songwriting credits on just about 99.99999% of the music out there today? It's what you do with the song that counts. What did Courtney do on Celebrity Skin other than sing what Billy Corgan told her to sing so that he could run it through pitch correction and pull every ProTools trick in the book so it would sound acceptable? It's not like she produced it, played all the instruments, or really had a hand in the way it sounded. Moreover, 99.9999999% of the music out there today sucks, and certainly can't be said to be works of genius. The day that Courtney Love writes a brilliant hooky pop song for Justin Timberlake to record instead of her, then I'll give props to Courtney for having genuine musical talent (if not taste).

By: rodii

rodii — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:48:32 -0800

Cyrkle?

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 18:05:15 -0800

fingers_of_fire writes: "...let me be the first to say - Keith Jarrett is a fantastic musician, but he's a world-class prick." You may be the first to say it on MetaFilter, but you're sure not the first person to say it! And hi, f_o_f! Nice to see you 'round these parts again!You writing a "bridge" song?

By: flapjax at midnite

flapjax at midnite — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 18:13:52 -0800

SmileyChewtrain writes: I just don't get the Cheap Trick one (#15). It sounds like he's a bit out of breath and saying "This next one is the first song on our new album" Yup, that's what he's saying. And that little audio clip, BTW, was sampled and used to great effect by the Beastie Boys as the opener to the record "Check Yr Head". Since the song that immediately followed was, of course, the first song on their new album, it made for a good chuckle.

By: yerfatma

yerfatma — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:29:50 -0800

What did Courtney do on Celebrity Skin other than sing what Billy Corgan told her to sing so that he could run it through pitch correction and pull every ProTools trick in the book so it would sound acceptable? Oi, someone likes music you don't. It's ok. And what's the distinction between ProTools and a drum kit? They're both tools that can be used to make great music.

By: The World Famous

The World Famous — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:35:37 -0800

Oi, someone likes music you don't. It's ok. And what's the distinction between ProTools and a drum kit? They're both tools that can be used to make great music. Oi, I like Celebrity Skin just fine. There's some great music on it that Courtney Love didn't create. The distinction between ProTools and a drum kit for the purpose of my comment is that Courtney Love didn't play either one on Celebrity Skin. I guess that's more of a similarity than a distinction, though.

By: scody

scody — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:44:33 -0800

"Ice-cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are." Oh, beloved men of Fugazi, come lecture the poorly behaved punk rockers in my neighborhood!

By: Slarty Bartfast

Slarty Bartfast — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 19:53:06 -0800

John Darnielle (The Mountain Goats) tends toward stream-of-consciousness Man, Robyn Hitchcock invented this shit. The first time I saw him in 1984 (dear god!), I thought how pretentious that he wrote out all these bizarre surreal intros to his songs, but I've seen him enough now to know this stuff really does come off the top of his head. It's the reason I still go to see him every time he's in town.

By: Tube

Tube — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:02:15 -0800

There is also the matter of when to deliver your witty stage banter. When these guys came on stage, Jello Biafra launched into a long political diatribe, totally killing the buzz that occurs when a band first hits the stage and starts to play. But their version of Let's Lynch the Landlord totally rocked.

By: jalexei

jalexei — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 20:33:14 -0800

Nth-ing Robyn Hitchcock. Saw him a few months ago for the 4th or 5th time over 18 years or so, and the only thing that's changed is the color of his hair. Pete Townshend can be hit or miss, but a lot of the between song banter now restored to the recent versions of Live at Leeds are pretty funny, especially with Keith Moon as foil / class clown... I get sad remembering Elliott Smith's brief, mumbled but clearly heartfelt musings. Morrissey was surprisingly funny and self-effacing, a fact I know jonmc will memorize and cherish ;-) Most Incomprehensible: A rotund Leslie West of Mountain (Mississippi Queen) enveloping the mic onstage at the Meadowlands Arena: "Broggh grum grum burble grunt New Jersey grumble gum brougghs!" Most Annoying: Jon Anderson of Yes, trilling on and on about how we "have to dreeeeem!!!" in his frilly voice. Most Painfully Uncomfortable: Liz Phair, who's always struck me as uncomfortable on stage period. Scariest: Perry Farrell of Jane's Addiction at the late, great City Gardens in Trenton, goading a swirling mass of skinheads as he pointed to and cursed out all the "pigs" (the meatheaded venue security). There were 10 minutes or so where I really didn't think I was going to get out in one piece.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:14:23 -0800

yeah, i have to mention gordon downie, too ... new orleans is sinking

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 01:27:24 -0800

oh hell, one more ... "we've come here to study you"

By: sgt.serenity

sgt.serenity — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 04:42:26 -0800

no stooges " metallic k.o." ? the guy should hand in his jotters. ian brown being naughty

By: Civil_Disobedient

Civil_Disobedient — Sat, 18 Aug 2007 06:52:29 -0800

I simply cannot believe not only did Phish not make the list, but haven't even been mentioned yet. Phish's onstage banger is legendary.

By: chuckdarwin

chuckdarwin — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 03:57:01 -0800

Yeah, this list is too short and incomplete. Ryan Adams didn't make it, for one thing.