Pro's and Cons - Kickass Guitar Solos.

August 18, 2007 11:43 PM

Like em or Hate em, Something Awful asks and answers the question: Do guitar solos make non-guitar solo songs better? A-HA, Beach Boys, Britney, Backstreet Boys. Rest of the thread.
posted by Lord_Pall (73 comments total)

Generally take the Kurt Cobain approach:

IF you MUST have a guitar solo, it will only be a reprisal of the vocal melody.
posted by sourwookie at 11:51 PM on August 18, 2007

That Beach Boys example cracked me up. So C.C. De ville.
posted by sourwookie at 11:55 PM on August 18, 2007

You know, I was finally about to go to bed. Damn you.
posted by Sangermaine at 11:57 PM on August 18, 2007

That's some pretty funny stuff.
posted by ph00dz at 12:32 AM on August 19, 2007

Like em or Hate em

Wait wait, are you saying there are people who don't believe that the Something Awful Forum is ultimately the source of everything good on the internet?

(goes and watches AYB again)
posted by aubilenon at 12:40 AM on August 19, 2007

MeedleemeedleeMEEDLEEMEEDLEEMEEDLEEEMEEDLEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeyoooo

I have now rendered this tread awesome.
posted by dirigibleman at 12:43 AM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

DONTREADONME! Awesome!
posted by sourwookie at 12:48 AM on August 19, 2007

There are some amazingly good tracks in that thread. I've never ventured into SA but that was definitely worthwhile. The Garth Brooks and Tom Petty tracks are vast improvements too (in my opinion).
posted by andihazelwood at 1:01 AM on August 19, 2007

Tom Petty and Garth Brooks links.

Garth one takes a bit to get going.
posted by Lord_Pall at 1:04 AM on August 19, 2007

man, dancing queen wins hands down. coldplay a close second.
posted by sergeant sandwich at 1:27 AM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

This is brilliant.
posted by CKZ at 1:49 AM on August 19, 2007

Do guitar solos make non-guitar solo songs better?

Depends on the solo.
posted by Mach3avelli at 1:51 AM on August 19, 2007

Do guitar solos make non-guitar solo songs better?

Not only do they not make non-guitar solo songs better, guitar solos are the reason why guitar solo songs suck.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 2:09 AM on August 19, 2007

I think the worst solos are the melodic reprisals because, well, what's the point? The worst offender in my mind is that Weezer album from a few years back where it seemed as if every song had a melody repeating solo. Talk about filler!
posted by boubelium at 2:16 AM on August 19, 2007

The worst offender in my mind is that Weezer album from a few years back where it seemed as if every song had a melody repeating solo.

I think you might have missed the ironic intention, there.
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:07 AM on August 19, 2007

Yeah, Hair Metal killed guitar solos for just about everyone (me, included). I still see some of the older acts doing the whole Rock God thing with gusto but it looks a little sad, somehow (Iron Maiden on Live From Abbey Road). I think the biggest loser in this category is Yngwie Malmsteen.
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:12 AM on August 19, 2007

Depends on the solo. -ain't it the truth. I never would have gone past the first page they were so bad. But Lord_Pall's selections were good, and I liked dancing queen- thanks for the filter.

Now- do guitar solos make for better football replays?
Whenever I watch NFL Primetime or something like that, it seems like all the replays have shredders setting the mood.
posted by MtDewd at 3:15 AM on August 19, 2007

Status Quo did a version of FunFunFun? And then someone mangled it further...?
posted by twine42 at 3:45 AM on August 19, 2007

The Coldplay one is some of the funniest shit I've ever heard.
posted by danb at 5:15 AM on August 19, 2007

chuckdarwin: Iron Maiden is not hair metal.
posted by jonmc at 6:01 AM on August 19, 2007

First thoughts: Something Awful? Really?

Second thoughts: Hi-larious!

Third thoughts: ugh, I can't listen to this anymore.
posted by grouse at 6:08 AM on August 19, 2007

chuckdarwin, stuff that sucks, but does it ironically, still sucks.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:15 AM on August 19, 2007 [5 favorites]

Generally take the Kurt Cobain approach:

IF you MUST have a guitar solo, it will only be a reprisal of the vocal melody.

i thought the cobain approach was to bash indiscriminately on the strings, preferably without regard to key or intonation, using the harshest ugly distortion available? oh wait - that *would* have been a reprisal of the vocal melody. never mind...
posted by quonsar at 7:20 AM on August 19, 2007

Great start to the day. Gold stars all around.
posted by Tuwa at 7:27 AM on August 19, 2007

Man, they jumped the gun on that A-Ha take. You've got that gigantic stretch of instrumental break waiting for you, and you start wanking over the prior chorus? Bad form, internet guitar soloist guy. Bad goddam form.

I've got nothing but hearty approval for the Beach Boys rework, though.
posted by cortex at 7:31 AM on August 19, 2007

Fuck yeah.
posted by chunking express at 7:41 AM on August 19, 2007

And Lord_Pall, you are just dang remiss for omitting the superb take on It's All Coming Back To Me.

Which song I may regret impulsively revealing as the least annoying Celine Dion song ever. It's some pretty solid epic ballad pop, really. Always needed a guitar solo, though.
posted by cortex at 7:50 AM on August 19, 2007

i thought the cobain approach was to bash indiscriminately on the strings, preferably without regard to key or intonation, using the harshest ugly distortion available? oh wait - that *would* have been a reprisal of the vocal melody. never mind...

I guess in addition to turning down, Kurt should also get off your lawn too.
posted by sourwookie at 7:54 AM on August 19, 2007

Is it me or does at least one user get banned from every SA thread? I bounced around from thread to thread and the number of banned users was astounding.
posted by photoslob at 8:02 AM on August 19, 2007

Is it me or does at least one user get banned from every SA thread? I bounced around from thread to thread and the number of banned users was astounding.

I understand (not a member) that because the forums membership charge is a $9.95 one-time fee they make up for it by charging weird fees for various features (I think search and reading old threads, among others.) and by banning people often so they have to buy another membership.
posted by TheOnlyCoolTim at 8:16 AM on August 19, 2007

Last I checked, banning on SA is an intentionally temporary thing. Forum accounts (like Metafilter) cost money and banned users are usually welcome to just cough up the fee again and they get their account turned back on. I think there's also a mechanism for people to ban each other if enough people pay money for the cause. It's ingenious. I might have the process wrong, though. I've never been a goon, but have friends who are.
posted by heresiarch at 8:28 AM on August 19, 2007

There are some MeFi users that I would totally pay money to ban.
posted by grouse at 8:32 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

TheOnlyCoolTim: "among others" includes paying to change other people's user names, no?

This is pretty damn cool. Can I download them?
posted by absalom at 8:35 AM on August 19, 2007

I've got a good friend who is a goon and with whom I argue constantly about the differing ban philosophies of SA and Mefi. It's an interesting culture clash. I don't think the way SA handles these things is wrong in any reasonable sense, but it's definitely not a compatible approach. It's also a comparatively huge site—what are the member rolls like over there?—so the difference in philosophy re: user behavior tolerance thresholds isn't shocking.
posted by cortex at 8:36 AM on August 19, 2007

Good Lord no! The solo has to serve the song (or at least the arrangement) I did enjoy the backstreet boys and Garth Brooks ones though...wait did I say that out loud!
posted by TwoWordReview at 8:50 AM on August 19, 2007

I think the percentage of obnoxious people on SA is a good deal higher (especially in the General Bullshit forum), so the mods are a lot harsher. I agree that that's in part due to how large the user base is. Plus, it's not really in the spirit of a place that was built on endless mockery of everything in sight to be nice to those who transgress. Sometimes I'm actually surprised it's not harsher than it is.

And yeah, it goes like: bans are permanent unless you pay $10 to re-register; perma-bans are exactly what they sound like; probations (which prevent you from posting, but I think you can still read) expire after a set amount of time and don't require ponying up any additional money. You can't pay to have another user banned, though you can pay $10 to have their avatar anonymously changed to something of your choice.

I have an account, and while I don't post a lot (I don't really feel like I fit in to the culture there, myself), it's a fantastic resource for creative and funny things like this. There's always something interesting to read there.
posted by Kosh at 8:52 AM on August 19, 2007

grouse, feel free to contact me by email. I know I'm a ceaseless, annoying chatterbox, but I could be persuaded to piss off for a while for very, very reasonable rates.

I would use the extra time to practice my guitar solos, too.
posted by Wolfdog at 8:52 AM on August 19, 2007

I would use the extra time to practice my guitar solos, too.

Oh, is that what that was? I—wow. Look, just, um, when the guy from the ASPCA shows up? Tell him it was my mistake.
posted by cortex at 8:58 AM on August 19, 2007

My solos are all finger-lickin'
Whammy dives and frenetic fast pickin'
But it seems that a rat's
claimed I'm strangling cats...
Though his own talent's choking the chicken.
posted by Wolfdog at 9:13 AM on August 19, 2007

Invited by Wolfdog to jam,
I gathered the gig was a scam.
When fingers hit string
It settled the thing:
He played like he'd hands made of ham.
posted by cortex at 9:26 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

This kind of reminds me of Redd Kross bassist Steven Shane McDonald who created an online only art project, titled Redd Blood Cells, in which he added a bass track to all the songs on White Blood Cells by the White Stripes.
posted by Sailormom at 9:43 AM on August 19, 2007

Our 3rd mod has certainly tried hard
To earn the "most popular guy" card
Mumbling other folks' rhymes
Over trite old bass lines...
Tell me, please, how that shit ends up sidebarred?
posted by Wolfdog at 9:59 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh, hey, Bodom's Oops! I did it again is on YouTube. Speaking of soloing and cat-strangling, it all starts at about 1:50.
posted by Wolfdog at 10:04 AM on August 19, 2007

Though lesser men'd be close to heaven
To have stood out at two of eleven,
Wolfdog had stam'na
To holler 'bout mana:
"Hey Yahweh, you can't stop to leaven?!"
posted by cortex at 10:09 AM on August 19, 2007

I guess in addition to turning down, Kurt should also get off your lawn too.

kurt is *fertilizing* my lawn, dude.
posted by quonsar at 10:11 AM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

Bitter, much? It's not hard to detect
But your analogy's somewhat suspect
For your playing, you oaf,
Is less "heavenly loaf"
And more "week-old thrift store reject."
posted by Wolfdog at 10:18 AM on August 19, 2007

The A-HA one rules.
posted by dontoine at 10:55 AM on August 19, 2007

When given, to scan, some Wolfdoggerel,
An Aussie (e.g.) might cry "bugger all!"
All talk of his verse
is just "bad" vs. "worse":
"Is this poem missing one cog, or all?"
posted by cortex at 10:57 AM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]

Your poem's all bitch, whine & moan
Did it come from some rhythm-free zone?
Don't be too quick to cry
'bout the mote in my eye;
There's a big fucking beam in your own
posted by Wolfdog at 11:15 AM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

Are you truly so raw as you seem,
Re-engaging, red eyes all a-gleam?
It's easy to see
Whither outbursts at me:
You half-mentioned your sole friend Jim Beam.
posted by cortex at 11:20 AM on August 19, 2007

funny concept. terrible execution.
posted by eperker at 12:12 PM on August 19, 2007

It was all more or less predecided
From the moment when cortex first chided
Though there was quite a bit
Of sublimely sharp wit,
A true "battle" is something two-sided.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:19 PM on August 19, 2007

Don't be so hard on yourself, Wolfdog, I think you held your own.
posted by grouse at 12:23 PM on August 19, 2007

"Held my own," says the rhyme-impaired whiz
Who just failed the "Dead Obvious" quiz
Of course I did, fool;
While my own clearly rule,
I would not be caught dead holding his.
posted by Wolfdog at 12:39 PM on August 19, 2007

Oh, snap! Wait, what was this thread about again?
posted by dammitjim at 12:59 PM on August 19, 2007

Don't worry, Wolfdog is just trying to goad me into paying him to leave the site.
posted by grouse at 1:12 PM on August 19, 2007

J Mascis single-handedly saved the big rock guitar solo with Dinosaur's cover of "Just Like Heaven.
posted by Ty Webb at 2:41 PM on August 19, 2007

Guitar solos are nothing but musical masturbation.
posted by MaryDellamorte at 3:59 PM on August 19, 2007

Only if they're done right.
posted by Ty Webb at 4:16 PM on August 19, 2007

Do guitar solos make non-guitar solo songs better?

Unequivocally yes, because that one solo actually made me like Garth Fucking Brooks. I feel dirty having written that.

Also, the comment about the Ah-Ha solo was spot-on. The arpeggios during the singing were wonderful, I just wish he could have saved them for the actual solo part instead of walking all over the guy's nice voice. Shit, it's not like there's anything interesting during that quiet part, either! And all he does is waste it with some long holds. Dumbass with talent, but dumbass nonetheless.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 4:58 PM on August 19, 2007

As for the two with no lives,
no brains, and likely no wives...
You're making me sick!
A good limerick,
is made up of sevens and fives!
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:08 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]

And sometimes eights.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:11 PM on August 19, 2007

Sevens and fives?

Do you mean haiku?
Do you not know how to count?
Or are you just wrong?
posted by Wolfdog at 5:20 PM on August 19, 2007

I had band practice
And watched Terminator 3
One of those was good
posted by cortex at 5:30 PM on August 19, 2007

Fall back on haiku?
What's the matter, poor Wolfdog?
Out of limericks?
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 5:41 PM on August 19, 2007

Quadrameter has charms as well,
like "Civil D can go to hell".
posted by cortex at 5:49 PM on August 19, 2007

I think the worst solos are the melodic reprisals because, well, what's the point? The worst offender in my mind is that Weezer album from a few years back where it seemed as if every song had a melody repeating solo. Talk about filler!

If it helps any, Rivers got really bored playing those solos after less than a year of playing them live and went back and made up real guitar solos. Island In The Sun's revamped solo is probably my favorite of the couple I heard and can remember from the time.
posted by sparkletone at 6:13 PM on August 19, 2007

I've got rhymes by the pound or the kilo
But it's time to be hitting the pillow
And besides, I abstain
Because - how to explain? -
Ah, yes, you can hear it from Willow.
posted by Wolfdog at 6:52 PM on August 19, 2007

Is this some sad tribute
From a closeted comics fan?
Because the lot of you
Sound like the Demon Etrigan.

You know your schemes and rhymes and such
But sometimes even a little is just too much.
You made your points, and you made them well
Now the lot of you can go to...

...THROW THEM OUT THE WINDOW! THE WINDOW! The second story window!
posted by Slap*Happy at 7:56 PM on August 19, 2007

...heeeeeelllO OPERATOR, PUT ME ON THE LINE...
posted by cortex at 9:10 PM on August 19, 2007

The two old fools had fought with Irish swords,
until it seemed they had run out of fight.
Then stirred from sleep by bitter critics' words,
redoubled efforts, rhyming through the night.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:18 PM on August 19, 2007

J Mascis single-handedly saved the big rock guitar solo with Dinosaur's cover of "Just Like Heaven.

Spinning on that dizzy edge, kissed her face, kissed her hheeaave!
posted by sourwookie at 9:24 PM on August 19, 2007

Even though I already love the original, that version of Free Fallin' rocks quite thoroughly. Massive props to the Garth Brooks version too, even though it doesn't work quite so well..

And Cotex, Wolfdog, I expect to see this on music like, yesterday. :p
posted by Alterscape at 12:48 AM on August 20, 2007