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Hot Properties
August 19, 2007 5:55 PM   Subscribe

Hot Properties: Want to feel inadequate? Want to visit InsaneWorld? Check out the L.A. Times real estate column Hot Properties, which covers the world of high-end celebrity real estate moves. It's like rock candy for masochists. Scarlett Johansson recently picked up a $7 million pad from a family friend. Courteney Cox wanted more privacy, so she and David Arquette flipped their $33.5 million shack for a $17 million compound. John Cleese is selling his ranch for $28 million. Tom Cruise shows them the money for a $35 million upgrade from his rental. Even the D-list celebs get ink. Double you. Tee. Eff.
posted by Cool Papa Bell (42 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
The property that Cruise bought was not on the market. The traditional-style residence was built in 1937 with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms and expanded from its original 10,000 square feet after it changed hands four years ago.

Man, I bet that place has a hell of a lot of closet space.
posted by ColdChef at 6:03 PM on August 19, 2007 [12 favorites]


Double you. Tee. Eff.

Whaddaya, jealous? ;-)
posted by flapjax at midnite at 6:08 PM on August 19, 2007


Do we need yet more celebrity coverage? Who cares what these people do in their personal lives?
posted by drstrangelove at 6:18 PM on August 19, 2007


I care what Scarlett Johansson is doing any given moment of every day until she says yes.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:20 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


I remember reading Courtney Cox moves around a lot because she really enjoys the process of fixing places up and once she doesn't have "the drama" of renovating the place she wants to be onto the next project. I don't think I'd like being married to anyone who wanted to keep renovating and moving. I'll work quite hard on my home to get it looking the way I want it, but I hate living in a construction zone and I hate the hassle and once it's done I just want to enjoy it.

Moreover I could never bear to live in anything fit to be called a "compound".
posted by orange swan at 6:21 PM on August 19, 2007


Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson is my age? And she has a 7 million dollar house? What's up with that?
posted by jourman2 at 6:22 PM on August 19, 2007


Harry Shearer used to read that column during his radio broadcast, LeShow. and it was hilarious. "sources said"
posted by hortense at 6:25 PM on August 19, 2007


What's insane about the LA housing market is not that celebrity homes sell for 20+ million, but that a single family homes in Burbank will set you back nearly one million dollars.
posted by herc at 6:26 PM on August 19, 2007


What about e-list celebs like mathowie?
posted by Poolio at 6:28 PM on August 19, 2007


No, he's i-list.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 6:30 PM on August 19, 2007


I live in LA. This sort of stuff is white noise here.
posted by ranchocalamari at 6:36 PM on August 19, 2007


It is sometimes said that wealthy people also favor expensive cars and expensive clothing.
posted by brain_drain at 6:48 PM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


White Noise?
posted by carsonb at 6:49 PM on August 19, 2007


When I win the lottery, I'm gonna have a loft in downtown Dallas, a fancy house in Kentucky or Colorado (maybe both!), I'll share a lease on an apartment in New York, have a respectable but humble bungalow in southern California, and a log cabin in Maine, but I won't live in any of those places as I'll be sleeping on planes while going to and from all these locations and living in hotels everywhere else.

I'll be poor again in less than a year, but what a ride!
posted by ZachsMind at 6:54 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh! And I'm voting no to deletion, but I think the Powers That Be already know that about me.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:55 PM on August 19, 2007


What ranchocalamari said. I'll tell ya... since leaving LA one thing I really haven't missed is enduring celebrity farts being reported as top news all the time. Wherever you live outside of LA, I assure you the coverage of Lindsay Lohan is NOTHING compared to what LA gets. Even unrelated news stories can somehow be basted in the gravy of celebrity. There's a fire in Northern California? Let's interview Jake Gyllenhall on his experience! Problems in Iraq? Let's see what Vivica A. Fox thinks! It's pretty crazy, really. Real estate prices going up? Madonna's selling another house! Even the celebrities are suffering! Sigh.

Gotta confess, after 18 years in LA it has been nice to get a break from it... to spend a few Thanksgivings being able to turn on the tv without having to see top news stories about "charity" consisting entirely of Jennifer Love Hewitt posing with homeless people at the Rescue Mission.
(Not saying there's anything wrong with her helping the homeless, btw. But it's nice when charity isn't just a publicity event.)
posted by miss lynnster at 6:55 PM on August 19, 2007


What's insane about the LA housing market is not that celebrity homes sell for 20+ million, but that a single family homes in Burbank will set you back nearly one million dollars.

Vancouver is the same way. Single-family homes in Point Grey, under 2,000 sqft, often for more than $1M. 1200 sqft condos that aren't even on the top third of the building selling for $2M or more.

Two doors down from me, a retired couple sold their 2,700 sqft house for $540,000. The new owners tore it down and are rebuilding. The half-finished home didn't last a day on the market for close to $850,000.

So reading about some D-list actor selling his $1.01M home makes me wonder if it actually had working appliances.
posted by solid-one-love at 6:57 PM on August 19, 2007


Oh, miss lynster, I can read between the lines. You totally miss it here.
posted by jonson at 6:59 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson is my age? And she has a 7 million dollar house? What's up with that?

I think she's an actress or something. Some of those Hollywood types get paid quite a bit. She probably made some money in the movies, and then bought a house with it.
posted by UbuRoivas at 7:04 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Yeah, I do.

Except for Jennifer Love Hewitt. I don't miss her.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:11 PM on August 19, 2007


Wait, so some people have lots of money?
posted by parallax7d at 7:14 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


The property that Cruise bought was not on the market. The traditional-style residence was built in 1937 with seven bedrooms and nine bathrooms and expanded from its original 10,000 square feet after it changed hands four years ago.

Man, I bet that place has a hell of a lot of closet space.


yeah, but low ceilings.
posted by beelzbubba at 7:30 PM on August 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


"She probably made some money in the movies, and then bought a house with it."

Are movies those things that people download off the Internet? How does anyone make money with those things?
posted by ZachsMind at 8:05 PM on August 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


1200 sqft condos that aren't even on the top third of the building selling for $2M or more.
Yeah, but that's $2M Canadian.
What's that, like $1.9M Farenhiet?
posted by Floydd at 8:06 PM on August 19, 2007 [5 favorites]


What's insane about the LA housing market is not that celebrity homes sell for 20+ million, but that a single family homes in Burbank will set you back nearly one million dollars.

What solid-one-love said. Townhouses in Kitsilano and Point Grey can go for just under a million; houses well above that. Away from the West Side, you can just about buy a teardown for around $450K. The house just east of Main Street that I used to rent, a charming though almost falling down semi-craftsman just sold for $670,000 despite the front stairs being so unsafe that a warning sign was posted on them and the roof being well advanced in the process of disintegration. 700 sq. ft. condos are on the market for 300 to 450K. My mother's perfectly ordinary three bedroom bungalow on the West Side was recently valued at over 900K. It's interesting to watch (and makes me thankful for the security I have where I live).
posted by jokeefe at 8:10 PM on August 19, 2007


So, like $20M, and they have to live in LA?

I can feel inadequate any number of ways, but this isn't it.
posted by pompomtom at 8:24 PM on August 19, 2007


Holy crap, Scarlett Johansson is my age? And she has a 7 million dollar house? What's up with that?
posted by jourman2 at 6:22 PM on August 19 [+] [!]


Yeah, but she doesn't have shit for favorites on you. She can't take that away from you.

Unless she buys metafilter. Then she could take them.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 8:28 PM on August 19, 2007


SF is no better. Honestly, I have friends who've bought 5 bedroom estates in other states, but the money wouldn't have bought a garage in SF or LA. Or even San Diego. It's just insane.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:35 PM on August 19, 2007


And she has a 7 million dollar house?

What everyone else said. In bumfuck South Carolina dinky-ass condos are selling for a cool half mill. If Scarlett Jo bought a 7 million dollar house in LA, she's being frugal (which only makes me love her more).

Unless she buys metafilter.

Then Scarlett Jo would be our dark Queen--beautiful and terrible as the morning and the night! Fair as sea and the sun and the snow upon the mountain! Dreadful as the storm and the lightning! All of us would love her and despair!

...uh, ahem ... carry on ...
posted by octobersurprise at 8:58 PM on August 19, 2007 [4 favorites]


posted by YoBananaBoy Unless [Scarlett Johansson] buys metafilter.

Yeah, but she wouldn't have the biting wit of cortex. All her reasons for deletions would be indecipherably whispered to Bill Murray.
posted by fandango_matt at 9:36 PM on August 19, 2007


I'm actually always sort of surprised how cheap the homes of the rich and famous are. Given that, as many people here have pointed out, an okay house in an okay part of town in an okay city now goes for something around a million, you'd expect the richest and most glamourous, with salaries in some cases hundreds of times more than typical homeowners, to pay more than $10million for their homes.

It's odd to me that the super-high end home market is less insanely competetitve than the regular home market.

(Put differently: Courney Cox's house cost around half what she got paid for her final season of Friends. What sort of house could you buy with six months' pay?)
posted by ManInSuit at 9:50 PM on August 19, 2007


It is sometimes said that wealthy people also favor expensive cars and expensive clothing.
posted by brain_drain at 6:48 PM on August 19 [1 favorite +] [!]


I just saw someone the other day rolling in a Bugatti Veyron, which costs more than that house in Burbank.

Actually made me turn my head in a town (LA) saturated with lambos, porsche gts, ferraris, aston martins, amgs...
posted by dontoine at 10:27 PM on August 19, 2007


What sort of house could you buy with six months' pay?

Right now, I could buy a moderate-sized refrigerator box, as long as it was a fixer-upper.
posted by jiawen at 10:43 PM on August 19, 2007


it's interesting that they're shelling out approximately what someone would have to pay me to live in la.
posted by andywolf at 10:53 PM on August 19, 2007


If Scarlett Jo bought a 7 million dollar house in LA, she's being frugal (which only makes me love her more).

Feel like loving her even more? She's probably also being financially very sensible. An idiot star would buy a 100 bedroom mansion which then needs to be maintained, furnished etc. A clever one buys a relatively modest house, and invests the rest. She's probably not going to be able to trade on her looks forever, and Hollywood is harsh on ageing female stars.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:13 PM on August 19, 2007


Just the other day I had a conversation where somebody said "I knew my son had made it when he bought a million dollar house... And this was back when that meant something."

Houses are expensive.
posted by Tacos Are Pretty Great at 12:47 AM on August 20, 2007


*shrug* I just think of all the shitty films and artistic compromises that had to take place in order for these insecure little twats to buy these penis extensions.

Fuck em.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:28 AM on August 20, 2007


orange swan: Moreover I could never bear to live in anything fit to be called a "compound".

Nothing wrong with a compound, I highly recommend it. It doesn't take much to make a home a compound. House, guest house, and garage do it. Add a maids quarters attached to the garage, and presto, that describes my house. And my place is officially a 'townhouse', because the property lines abut the house-walls of the adjacent houses. That just makes good security (an important issue in South Africa).

It sounds far more elaborate than it is. It's small by local standards. But the compound part of it isn't typical.

I like the post, but I like hearing about fancy houses.
posted by Goofyy at 1:40 AM on August 20, 2007


insecure little twats to buy these penis extensions

Penis extensions for twats? That sounds sexy. LA sexy.
posted by solipsophistocracy at 8:16 AM on August 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


Big Time Listings and the Real Estalker are much more detailed, offering photos from the local MLS (Multiple Listing Service), and addresses, for all your stalking/satellite photo needs.
posted by mogget at 9:45 AM on August 20, 2007


Hot Properties: Want to feel inadequate?

I in no way feel inadequate observing other people's ostentatious displays. I have a comfortable home with a little yard for a garden, a loving wife and a beautiful child. Why should I feel inadequate in whatching the gluttony of a bunch of vacuuous, over paid, frightened, lonely, self-absorbed fucks?
posted by Pollomacho at 9:57 AM on August 20, 2007


The only WTFish element here as far as I'm concerned: John Cleese on a ranch?
posted by me & my monkey at 9:59 AM on August 20, 2007


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