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Haikus
August 21, 2007 9:20 PM   Subscribe

From the Sarcasm Society
posted by misha (57 comments total) 4 users marked this as a favorite

 
Haikus can be fun.
But sometimes they don't make sense.
Refrigerator.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 9:33 PM on August 21, 2007 [5 favorites]


These are truly great!
This is the best of the web!
(Did I get it right?)
posted by Pater Aletheias at 9:37 PM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wow, you haiku people are really on top of this post.

(I like the beginner's guide to irony.)
posted by mediareport at 9:53 PM on August 21, 2007


Oh, this is a good post.
posted by infinitywaltz at 10:03 PM on August 21, 2007


Do you guys remember that real time anyone-can-edit chat-like program called moonedit or something? It was linked on Metafilter, and we stormed in and wrote a bunch of awesome haikus. When the idea was brought up that it can't really be a haiku without a seasonal reference, someone wrote this and it always stuck with me:


Shout-outs to nature
are like shout-outs to rappers.
What's up, my nature?
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 10:05 PM on August 21, 2007 [18 favorites]


Time to revive the Metafilter-inspired Metaiku. And my personal favorite.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:09 PM on August 21, 2007


Sleep beckons. I go
A glowing beacon, Mefi
Blue reloads at dawn.
posted by misha at 10:20 PM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


Overthinking Beans;
How can one? They're so tasty
And MeFi approved.

Some taglines I love-
We have watches! Pancakes!
Yeah, this will Wendell.
posted by maryh at 10:31 PM on August 21, 2007 [3 favorites]


sarcasm is a form of irony which uses sharp wit to highlight the obviousness, stupidity, or annoyance-factor of a situation.

What kind of situation could that be?
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:34 PM on August 21, 2007


A MeFi haiku
So much like a tender plate
Frought with gassy beans
posted by amyms at 10:59 PM on August 21, 2007 [3 favorites]


A post, like water
single link lost in the rain
deleted by the sun
posted by Avenger at 11:24 PM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


My comment
above scanned like poop




Todd Lokken
posted by maryh at 11:30 PM on August 21, 2007 [3 favorites]


Is five syllables
plus seven more syllables
a shortcut to depth?
posted by Joseph Gurl at 11:49 PM on August 21, 2007 [1 favorite]


A post has disappeared.
Moderators censoring my speech?
Metatalk callout.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:32 AM on August 22, 2007


MeFites are patient,
hate kitties, respect all faiths ...
in Bizarro World.
posted by rob511 at 1:18 AM on August 22, 2007


What's up with that site? Sarcasm, haiku, that's fine, but can't those guys count?
posted by darksasami at 1:37 AM on August 22, 2007


best haikus evar -
in-jokes like cherry blossoms!
/very sarcastic.
posted by UbuRoivas at 1:57 AM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


Where would a haiku post be without a link to Porno Haiku?
posted by knowles at 2:29 AM on August 22, 2007


My witty haikus
Endless search for favourites
Buffs up my profile
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 2:38 AM on August 22, 2007


Oh Look, sarcasm!
Never get enough of that
on MetaFilter
posted by bwg at 2:41 AM on August 22, 2007


Yeah, it's not haiku.
I just like to write comments
with these weird line breaks.
posted by blacklite at 3:40 AM on August 22, 2007


golf clap golf clap golf
clap golf clap golf clap golf clap
golf clap golf clap clap
posted by trondant at 3:47 AM on August 22, 2007


Sarcastic haikus
Are as interesting as
MeFi in-jokes. Not
posted by psmealey at 3:48 AM on August 22, 2007


Reminds me of the original A-Team of Haiku Bastards (now sadly offline).

Greasy burger joint
Employees must wash their hands
Just like Pilate did
posted by Eideteker at 4:03 AM on August 22, 2007


We are mocking you.
You are mocking others
Is that irony?
posted by seanyboy at 4:07 AM on August 22, 2007


Sarcastic haikus
Are as more interesting as than
MeFi in-jokes. Not
Fixed.

/so totally not sarcastic
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:10 AM on August 22, 2007


"Being sarcastic,
dude?" asked the emo hipster -
Can't tell anymore!
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:13 AM on August 22, 2007


These are not haikus.
Real ones require imagery
Not just syllables.
posted by mckenney at 6:11 AM on August 22, 2007 [2 favorites]


I didn't read it.
Me not understand Haiku.
Nuts to You.
posted by doctorschlock at 6:21 AM on August 22, 2007


Two Jewish women
"These haiku are terrible!"
"And such small portions!"
posted by cortex at 6:26 AM on August 22, 2007 [5 favorites]


Yeah, I'll read that.
posted by any major dude at 6:51 AM on August 22, 2007


On Metafilter
Haikus are nothing more than
Limericks Mark Two.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:56 AM on August 22, 2007


Great. Just fucking great.
More fucking inept haiku
Written by morans.

Hey, look at me, guys!
I know how to count sylla
bles! I'm a poet!

You want images?
Here's one: cock bucket. Want more?
Goatse wide for you.

Wait. Wait. I kid.
The crane spreads its wings wide...
Like goatse's asshole.
posted by pracowity at 7:07 AM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


rage in metered verse
pracowity drops a beat
on the fourth haiku
posted by cortex at 7:08 AM on August 22, 2007


[add to "favorites"]
posted by designbot at 7:10 AM on August 22, 2007


Thanks, syllable boy.
That should have been "wings open..."
Broken (sarc) meter.
posted by pracowity at 7:22 AM on August 22, 2007


My favorite haiku, source unknown:

I don't like haiku
Because you can only use
Seventeen syllab
posted by disturbed loner at 7:22 AM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


thread follows on thread
sarcastic pentameter
will be the new black
posted by cortex at 7:47 AM on August 22, 2007


Sweetly making love
Holy shit she`s waking up
Need more chloroform


That's fantastic.
posted by misha at 8:40 AM on August 22, 2007 [2 favorites]


wait. wait. i kid. is
four syllables i think
so still missing one
posted by zeoslap at 8:52 AM on August 22, 2007


Rule 34b:
Regardless of what it is,
There's haikus of it.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 8:59 AM on August 22, 2007


O HAI, I WRITED
SUM JAPANEZ POETRIE
YOU CAN HAS HAIKU
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 9:03 AM on August 22, 2007 [5 favorites]


things hot and bitter
coffee and "awesome" haiku
me, mefi mornings
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 9:05 AM on August 22, 2007


I wonder how this fad originated?
Was some text editor so wholly stunted
That it could take just seventeen sounds grunted
By browsers while they clicked and masturbated?

So many forms of verse you could deploy
That would as well express what’s always penned
When counting five and seven, five and Send,
But always it’s this little haiku toy.

(Unless it’s time to talk of knickers dropped,
In which case limericks are trundled out
To tell us how the vicar gave a shout
Or porcupines entwined or condoms popped.)

Retire the haiku, please, and see if youse
Can find another form youse can abuse.
posted by pracowity at 10:33 AM on August 22, 2007 [3 favorites]


You people seem to think haikus are all,
When as cortex implied before, they're not.
The artful lure of sonnet form will call;
Pentameter, you'll find, is truly hot.
Nay, let us not forego the structured whim:
In which sarcasm carefully can wind,
Was used for years by lads to score more trim,
And demonstrates a clearly greater mind.
Thou shan't pretend your time is better used
On TPS reports and timesheet card.
You know you want to leave Firefox abused,
And while the afternoon away just like the Bard.
Instead of rushing ill-thought haiku spew
Take time to craft true poems for the blue.
posted by pineapple at 10:47 AM on August 22, 2007


pracowity: OMG, Shut! Up!
posted by pineapple at 10:48 AM on August 22, 2007


(meaning, I didn't preview, so I was so smugly pleased with my "watch this, you haiku tossers" sonnet, and then there yours was too.)
posted by pineapple at 10:50 AM on August 22, 2007


Should have perhaps dropped the "away just" from line twelve, sir, or used "day" for "afternoon"; but jolly good, regardless.
posted by cortex at 11:03 AM on August 22, 2007


I'm not a sir, sir, but well-spoken that line 12 is off. That's what a speed sonnet will net you.
posted by pineapple at 1:34 PM on August 22, 2007


The rhetorical sir, then, with my apologies. And wear a seatbelt; speed sonnets cost lives.
posted by cortex at 1:38 PM on August 22, 2007


♪♫♪ This thread's a lot better with blue sonnet on it! ♪♫♪
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:44 PM on August 22, 2007


Hey Cool Papa Bell,
I have that on a t-shirt
(almost verbatim)
posted by phatkitten at 2:52 PM on August 22, 2007


Goatse blue haiku
Is this something I would need
A bucket of cocks?
posted by papercake at 4:55 PM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]


"...Your haiku insults do not affect me!"
posted by yoHighness at 5:12 PM on August 22, 2007


arrows bounce, skitter
the hunter now the hunted
glue, i am rubber
posted by cortex at 5:16 PM on August 22, 2007


Hey phatkitten! Good artists borrow. Great artists steal. The IT guy here at work has the shirt.

Oh Jesus, did I just out myself? Where's the UNpost button?
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 5:43 PM on August 22, 2007


4chan late at night
simpsons pornography thread
in before "I'm piss"
posted by tehloki at 10:22 PM on August 22, 2007


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