Pecker

August 22, 2007 9:03 PM

Bald Cock. SFW.
posted by fandango_matt (31 comments total)

Cock-a-doodle-do-not-want.
posted by Poolio at 9:09 PM on August 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

2002?
posted by loquax at 9:11 PM on August 22, 2007

I'm sorry. That ....creature...is NOTSAFEFORWORK. Nightmarez!
posted by SassHat at 9:12 PM on August 22, 2007

Huh. So that's what dinosaurs looked like.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:13 PM on August 22, 2007

Bald Cock. Safe for - OH GOOD FREAKING GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
posted by Phire at 9:15 PM on August 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

Every single quotation begs to be followed by "That's what she said" and a beefy chortle by someone in cargo pants.

Metafilter: Every single quot - what, what have I done?
posted by OrangeDrink at 9:17 PM on August 22, 2007

Creepy. I actually though of the dinosaur thing as well, but realized that you'd have to replace the feathers with scales; might make the chickens more durable and less vulnerable to being featherless. But then, scales kind of remove the point of breeding a bald chicken.

Appearance based disgust shouldn't be the reason the mass scale breeding a chicken like this should be questioned: there are legitimate concerns about how well these things would survive being raised. Not to mention any genetic vulnerabilities that arise from the breeding process.
posted by Mister Cheese at 9:19 PM on August 22, 2007

Plus, think of all the expense for therapy for the poor chickens. And training the foxes to recognize the new featherless chickens. And all the chicken pluckers that will be out of jobs. This would be a major drain on our economy.

That is the ugliest thing I have ever seen
posted by misha at 9:23 PM on August 22, 2007 [3 favorites]

This would be a major drain on our economy.

On the other hand, this will be a major boost for the chickensuit industry.
posted by hydrophonic at 9:31 PM on August 22, 2007

I don't think anyone has to worry about this. There hasn't been an article about them for more than five years.
posted by loquax at 9:32 PM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

I guess if they're gonna be all kept cramped and next to each other they may as well get naked and get some chicken love.
posted by slixtream at 9:36 PM on August 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

Man tonsils.
posted by strawberryviagra at 9:43 PM on August 22, 2007

I don't think anyone has to worry about this. There hasn't been an article about them for more than five years.

*golf clap*
posted by Poolio at 9:52 PM on August 22, 2007 [2 favorites]

Well, welcome to my fucking world, you bald little freak. Yeah, just tell the girls it's sexy. One in a thousand will fall for it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:54 PM on August 22, 2007

I like hairless cock. Looks bigger.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 10:06 PM on August 22, 2007 [1 favorite]

Just wrong...just...really, really wrong...
posted by The Light Fantastic at 10:17 PM on August 22, 2007

I've felt this way before. A cold shower usually helps.
posted by jmcneilly at 10:19 PM on August 22, 2007

There hasn't been an article on my bald cock for more than five years. Doesn't mean people shouldn't worry about it.
posted by Mister Cheese at 10:28 PM on August 22, 2007

I am somewhat disturbed by the recent trend in bizarre chicken-related posts. Let alone the chickenfucking gifs.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 10:42 PM on August 22, 2007

what chickenfucking gifs? i didn't see any...
posted by growabrain at 10:54 PM on August 22, 2007

Ask jessamyn.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 11:04 PM on August 22, 2007

It's too sensitive a subject for stavros. ;)
posted by Poolio at 11:17 PM on August 22, 2007

I can't for the life of me think why, but this made me think of Marlon Brando.
posted by rob511 at 11:34 PM on August 22, 2007

I'm with loquax on this one.

What is this, metafilter's greatest hits?
posted by snakey at 11:48 PM on August 22, 2007

Blazecock Pileon writes "I like hairless cock. Looks bigger."

So they call you Blazecock because you use a blowtorch rather than a razor for your depilations?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:47 AM on August 23, 2007

I don't think anyone has to worry about this. There hasn't been an article about them for more than five years.

That's 'cause they're still working on breeding a boneless, skinless one.
posted by bendybendy at 4:18 AM on August 23, 2007

So they call you Blazecock because you use a blowtorch rather than a razor for your depilations?

["creme" brulée joke goes here]
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:01 AM on August 23, 2007

I think I'd enjoy it more if they could breed it to make its head look more purple and throbbing. And then place it either side of two sizable pebbles.
posted by ob at 7:03 AM on August 23, 2007

Bald Knob
posted by mbd1mbd1 at 9:19 AM on August 23, 2007

Don't forget the classic Man with a very large cock!
posted by clevershark at 9:45 AM on August 23, 2007

Can’t help thinking of Twain’s description of humans and the “oh my god that’s disgusting” comments and that is probably what fur bearing animals think of us.

(...well, you all. I’m 1/2 yeti.)
posted by Smedleyman at 2:43 PM on August 23, 2007