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Life still enjoyable after 30, experts say
August 23, 2007 12:05 AM   Subscribe


 
"About 28 percent of men and about 14 percent of women said sex was very important, and about three-quarters of those with partners reported being sexually active, which is about equivalent to what previous research had found for people in their 40s and 50s. Being sexually active was defined as having had mutually voluntary sexual contact with another person within the past 12 months."
posted by Avenger at 12:05 AM on August 23, 2007


Aagh! Bad mental image!
posted by Xere at 12:24 AM on August 23, 2007


I do that. With....with...jeez--can't remember her name.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 12:25 AM on August 23, 2007




I've got two words for you doubters: Charlie Chaplin.

Born in 1889. Fathered his last child in 1962.

Go old folks!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:44 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


NewsFlash: The number of people getting laid more often than you is higher than previously thought.
posted by Poolio at 1:05 AM on August 23, 2007 [10 favorites]


Born in 1889. Fathered his last child in 1962.

Yes, but she was born in 1926 and would have been an attractive woman in her mid-thirties when the Little Tramp, twice her age, got the Littler Tramp up for her. I'm betting it's a different story when you're both 75.

Then again, there's Viagra and the light switch.
posted by pracowity at 1:14 AM on August 23, 2007


I was at a festival in Scotland recently, it was about 4am and I was in one of the dance tents. Anyone who's been in a similar situation will, at one time or another, have been asked if they have drugs to spare. It's happened to me plenty of times. This time I was asked if I had any viagra.

If someone takes a good look at you and then asks if you have any viagra to spare for her husband, should you be flattered or offended?
posted by vbfg at 1:28 AM on August 23, 2007


Maybe she took a good look at you and assumed you'd need it yourself.
posted by pracowity at 1:35 AM on August 23, 2007


'It is of course dangerous, you have to take advice. You can't be gung-ho about it. If you're going to make love to somebody and you're very, very old they're very, very old you have to be sensible. I hate to use the word lube, but I just have.' - Dylan Moran
posted by slimepuppy at 2:29 AM on August 23, 2007


A post about elderly sex is entitled "Life still enjoyable after 30"? You must be a teenager.
posted by lucia__is__dada at 2:35 AM on August 23, 2007


This reminds me of the old joke about the retirement home, in which two little old ladies would dress up and parade past two specific men every day. Each time, the old guys would just keep rocking on their front porch, oblivious. No matter how ornate or ridiculous the clothing, the gents never batted an eye.

Finally, exasperated, one of the ladies said, "You know, I'm gonna get a reaction out of those two if it's the last thing I ever do! Let's run past them... naked!" And sure enough, they did.

The old guys continued rocking for a bit, and one finally pulled his pipe out of his mouth, and asked, in a deep Southern accent, "Merle?"

"Yes, George?"

"Did you see what they was wearing?"

"Well, I warnt sure, but dayam, it needed ironing."
posted by Malor at 2:57 AM on August 23, 2007 [2 favorites]


Maybe she took a good look at you and assumed you'd need it yourself.

I wouldn't rule it out
posted by vbfg at 3:02 AM on August 23, 2007


Elderly sex??? DO NOT WANT! DO NOT WANT!
posted by amyms at 3:32 AM on August 23, 2007


You will.
posted by MtDewd at 3:44 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


You really will
posted by jennydiski at 3:46 AM on August 23, 2007 [2 favorites]


A few years back, I read in a news magazine that the number of AIDS cases is on the rise among the elderly....widows and widowers need to practice safe sex, too!
posted by Womanscientist at 4:01 AM on August 23, 2007


I find it sort of sad that people are grossed out by seniors having sex. Don't you want to be sexually active later in your life? They're old, not dead.
posted by Violet Hour at 4:37 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


pracowity writes ""Yes, but she was born in 1926 and would have been an attractive woman in her mid-thirties when the Little Tramp, twice her age, got the Littler Tramp up for her. I'm betting it's a different story when you're both 75."

I'm sure you're right, pracowity. Even with the light off, you'd notice the difference between the taut, elastic skin of a nubile 35 year old, and the wrinky, sagging flesh of somebody your own age.

That said, when I was 18, the idea of having sex with some wrinkly old 35 year old seemed quite repugnant. Today, at 50, I find myself extremely depressed at the idea that I'm unlikely to *ever* have sex with a 35 year old outside of a business transaction or blackmail. And I often see women my own age that I think are unreasonably hot for someone in their 50's -- even without the botox! So who knows, by the time we're all 75, our respective love objects of the same age might appear just as desirable to us as they did when they were 16.

I'll be giving the orgies/lemon parties a miss though.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:43 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oooh yeah, an' I'm doin' my part to keep them active! One hot granny at a time!
posted by Pollomacho at 4:43 AM on August 23, 2007


"Well, I warnt sure, but dayam, it needed ironing."

Why do I have the feeling I saw that on Hee Haw?
posted by Pollomacho at 4:45 AM on August 23, 2007


vbfg writes "If someone takes a good look at you and then asks if you have any viagra to spare for her husband, should you be flattered or offended?"

You shouldn't have been. Recreational use of viagra is fairly common these days -- even amongst people in their late 20's and 30's. (Perhaps even younger, though I've never actually heard reports of younger people using it.)

Uses say that it enhances sex by creating extra blood flow to the area and making the whole thing last much longer. I know a few people in their early and mid 30's who wouldn't contemplate sex without viagra. (Caveat: they aren't in long term relationships, so they probably don't go in for a quickie before going to sleep because the baby kept them awake all night and they've got work in the morning.)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:48 AM on August 23, 2007


A post about elderly sex is entitled "Life still enjoyable after 30"? You must be a teenager.

Save it for the nursing home pillow-talk gramps.
posted by Serial Killer Slumber Party at 4:52 AM on August 23, 2007


Can somebody please direct me to the GMILF website?

kthxby
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:53 AM on August 23, 2007


I know someone who counsels elderly homosexuals on how to have safe sex at their age. Not just to protect against diseases, as Womanscientist mentioned, but because at a certain point anal sex becomes an incredible health risk on its own due to delicate tissue becoming more fragile. People can critically injure themselves or others by simply doing what they've always done-- and coming from a time when discussing such things was taboo, might not think to ask their doctors beforehand.

Essentially it's his job to convince old men to have oral sex.
posted by hermitosis at 4:54 AM on August 23, 2007


all this has been well said years ago by Simon DeBeauvoir
http://plato.stanford.edu/entries/beauvoir/
posted by Postroad at 4:55 AM on August 23, 2007


why, I think all you youngsters might be sounding just a bit jealous!

Here's the deal, we're older, we're wiser, we've got some cash, we've probably settled in a job that we like (or have retired from it and have time to do WHATEVER we want), we don't act like idiots any longer..and now, on top of everything else, we're hitting it more than you are...

sucks to be a kid!
posted by HuronBob at 4:59 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]


hermitosis writes " People can critically injure themselves or others by simply doing what they've always done."

Look forward to my forthcoming sex manual aimed at this demographic:

Fist-fucking for the over-fifties.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:00 AM on August 23, 2007


I've been waiting a long time to use this:

Finally, 69 comes after 70.
posted by fourcheesemac at 5:24 AM on August 23, 2007 [2 favorites]


Is that Simon de Beauvoir the male sibling of the lesser know Simone?
posted by jennydiski at 6:17 AM on August 23, 2007


We're all gonna be there so get out your clean Depends underwear!
posted by doctorschlock at 6:52 AM on August 23, 2007


So who knows, by the time we're all 75, our respective love objects of the same age might appear just as desirable to us as they did when they were 16.

I think this is indeed exactly what happens. I can't speak for 75 yet, but at 55, this is the process I see happening to myself. Elaboration here ...
posted by woodblock100 at 7:17 AM on August 23, 2007


David, not only was that essay absolutely wonderful, but those prints are stunningly beautiful as well. However, I do have a question for you.

Have you ever asked a woman if she'd like to 'Come upstairs and take a look at my etchings?' ;)
posted by PeterMcDermott at 7:29 AM on August 23, 2007


Come upstairs and take a look at my etchings?

No can do ... my workshop is in the basement! :-)
posted by woodblock100 at 7:40 AM on August 23, 2007


See link number two here for a full rundown on geriatric sex thanks to Ann Meara.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:48 AM on August 23, 2007


Play it safe, old folks!

We're trying, we're trying!
posted by flapjax at midnite at 7:59 AM on August 23, 2007


not only are they having sex, but they also father children at old ages
posted by growabrain at 8:23 AM on August 23, 2007


I have mentioned this elsewhere. Seeing Harold and Maude recently has given me a new perspective on Ruth Gordon's relative hotness.

All of you 20 or 30 somethings will get older. It's a lot better than dying, trust me, and I hope that you make it with intact libidos.
posted by Danf at 8:36 AM on August 23, 2007


My physician says that the most requests he gets for viagra are from guys in their 20's. His take on it was that these 20 year olds were afraid 'it' wouldn't work. (the reason I know this is not at all what you are thinking).
posted by bluesky43 at 8:39 AM on August 23, 2007


So who knows, by the time we're all 75, our respective love objects of the same age might appear just as desirable to us as they did when they were 16.

That may well be the case. I have a line in a song that sort of addresses this point, in its own way:

Your sister looks good
Your mother looks better
Go buy me a stamp
So I can send her a letter
posted by flapjax at midnite at 9:06 AM on August 23, 2007


Being sexually active was defined as having had mutually voluntary sexual contact with another person within the past 12 months.

Once a year is "active?"
posted by Foosnark at 9:31 AM on August 23, 2007


Interesting but sad how women stop being sexually active due to loss of their partners.

On the bright side, I'm pretty sure I'm going to make my fortune tapping the nursing home market for naughty lady parties.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:23 AM on August 23, 2007


A few days ago I heard that in addition to having sex, the elderly ALSO USED TO BE HUMAN!
posted by zach4000 at 11:03 AM on August 23, 2007


This is depraved.

Just as we have a minimum age of consent, I think we should also have a maximum age of consent. I think age 50 should be the cutoff.
posted by mullingitover at 11:14 AM on August 23, 2007


Everyone else has had more sex than me.
Does anybody else get that feeling?
Teenagers naked,
Couple in threes
Grandparents swing from the ceiling.

(mp3, video, lyrics, explanation)
posted by jdfalk at 11:23 AM on August 23, 2007


TTIWWP
posted by zorro astor at 11:56 AM on August 23, 2007


Wrinkled, for her pleasure.
posted by BrotherCaine at 1:40 PM on August 23, 2007


bluesky43 - His take on it was that these 20 year olds were afraid 'it' wouldn't work.

That may be the excuse the 20-somethings are telling their doc to get a prescription.

Ecstasy/MDMA feels great but it makes it very difficult to get hard while on it. In comes viagra.
posted by porpoise at 2:14 PM on August 23, 2007


I'm teaching the Republic again next week, and so feel I must quote one of the opening bits as I've just reread it - this is Bloom's translation, which is more explicit than some...
"For my part, Cephalus, I am really delighted to discuss with the very old, " I said. "Since they are like men who have proceeded on a certain road that perhaps we too will have to take, one ought, in my opinion, to learn from them what sort of road it is--whether it is rough and hard or easy and smooth. From you in particular I should like to learn how it looks to you, for you are now at just the time of life the poets call 'the threshold of old age'. Is it a hard time of life, or what have you to report of it?"

"By Zeus, I shall tell you just how it looks to me Socrates." he said. "Some of us who are about the same age often meet together and keep up the old proverb. [birds of a feather, sort of thing--ed] Now then, when they meet, most of the members of our group lament, longing for the pleasures of youth, and reminiscing about sex, about drinking bouts and feasts and all that goes with things of that sort; they take it hard as thought they were deprived of something very important and had lived well but are now not even alive. Some also bewail the abuse that old age receives from relatives and in this key they sing a refrain about all the evils old age has caused them.

But Socrates, in my opinion these men do not put their fingers on the cause. For, if this were the causee, I too would have suffered these same things insofar as they depend on old age and so would everyone else who has come to this point in life. But as it is I have encountered others for whom it was not so, especially Sophocles. I was once present when the poet was asked by someone, 'Sophocles, how are you in sex? Can you still have intercourse with a woman?'
'Silence, man' he said. 'Most joyfully did I escape it, as though I had run away from a sort of frenzied and savage master.'
I thought at the time he had spoken well and I still do. For in every way, old age brings great peace and freedom from such things. When the desires cease to strain and finally relax, then what Sophocles says comes to pass in every way; it is possible to be rid of very many mad masters..."
well, of course the conversation goes on quite a bit longer, and this isn't accepted without question, but, the point is, I suppose, we needn't presume life would become unenjoyable if it were to become different when we become older. It's possible we could enjoy different things.

i'm also struck by the 'over 30' comment, as I do remember when that seemed old to me, and now of course it's normal-to-young. Time'll catchya, kids! It gets everyone!

and the once/yr = active thing is just weird. That almost reminds me of those weird hetero-training camps for gay christians, where the success stories are all proud of how they only have homo fantasies 60% of the time now, and they fuck their wives at least 3 times a year, so they're cured! Basically, do old people feel like they should be doing it, so they're overreporting?
posted by mdn at 3:48 PM on August 23, 2007


Just as we have a minimum age of consent, I think we should also have a maximum age of consent. I think age 50 should be the cutoff.

I think the exact opposite. I think that when you reach the age of 50, you should no longer have to get consent from everybody between the ages of 16 and 49. Unlimited non-consensual sex should be one of the benefits that accompany old age, along with your free bus pass.

That'd keep you kids offa my lawn.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:21 PM on August 23, 2007


Yeah baby, now take your teeth out.

People need to learn to relax.
And that’s where the old folks come in (no pun in’t). I think people eventually lose a lot of their hang ups about sex and talking about sex and what they like etc. Especially when they get older women are a lot more relaxed and just plain randy.

I like the idea of older folks having more sex. Keeps them out of their cars and off the streets.

(I can’t wait until I’m 75 and I can blast Pantera through the old folks home “Gran-pa! Turn it down!” If it’s too loud you’re too old! doing my wife all the time 'cos I "forgot" to wear pants, yeah, good times)
posted by Smedleyman at 4:48 PM on August 23, 2007


we needn't presume life would become unenjoyable if it were to become different when we become older.

And this of course leads to the wonderful quote from the late George Melly: "... becoming impotent was like being unchained from a lunatic ..."
posted by woodblock100 at 4:53 PM on August 23, 2007


While the elderly are hitting it, the youthful... are not.

(I can't remember, but I think the article I linked to was posted on MeFi at some point? My Google-fu needs work.)
posted by ntartifex at 6:16 PM on August 23, 2007


Nobody's made the obligatory "sex over 60" joke, so it's my sad duty at these proceedings:

Not safe at all. You should pull over and park the car.
posted by pax digita at 8:54 PM on August 23, 2007


I find it unsuprising that many people have an active sex life post-60.

Seriously, they're retired. They've got a lot of time on their hands. And if you've been doing it regualraly for years, you've got a partner who knows how to do it, and well, whyever not?

If there isn't major medical/mental issues (which don't get me wrong, there often is) - I see no reason why they wouldn't have quite an active sex life. I've never assumed sex stops before hospitalisation.
posted by ysabet at 9:38 PM on August 23, 2007


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