Metaphors.

August 23, 2007 7:05 AM

Metaphors.[NSFW?]
posted by Armitage Shanks (37 comments total)

I LOLed.
posted by phrontist at 7:21 AM on August 23, 2007

Clever.
posted by voltairemodern at 7:27 AM on August 23, 2007

OK, I get bell end, spit roast, dirt track, cream pie, hand shandy, dirty sanchez, etc. Can anyone translate the dog in the bathtub and the animal with a sword in its mouth?
posted by Armitage Shanks at 7:33 AM on August 23, 2007

Sanchez really needs a bath and a back wax.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:43 AM on August 23, 2007

So...in Australia "the bear masticates a sword" is a euphemism for "I'm going to use some tissues now"?

*at sea*
posted by everichon at 7:58 AM on August 23, 2007

I'm proud of my vast knowledge of euphemisms, but the dog and the animal with sword got me too.
posted by Mcable at 8:04 AM on August 23, 2007

Can someone explain "spit roast" to me?

Thanks Sanchez!
posted by Turtles all the way down at 8:06 AM on August 23, 2007

spit roast
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:07 AM on August 23, 2007

Do you suppose the guy in the video was riding the village bike?
posted by champthom at 8:10 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

In retrospect, I could have lived without knowing that the euphemism "beef curtains" existed.
posted by The Bellman at 8:10 AM on August 23, 2007

I understood "choke the chicken," "order sixty-nine," and the visual with the space satelite, but the rest of them pretty much went over my head. Guess I don't have as dirty of a mind as I like to think I do. ...I kinda think I got the tea bags one, but not quite.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:22 AM on August 23, 2007

Isn't Dirty Dog a phrase for man who plays the field?
posted by dobbs at 8:25 AM on August 23, 2007

Also, they missed an opportunity there by not having any blue balls on the pool table.
posted by dobbs at 8:33 AM on August 23, 2007

Awesome video. I missed a few on the first watching. No clue about the bear with the sword though.
posted by Meagan at 8:46 AM on August 23, 2007

No clue about the bear with the sword though.

If it's a wild boar rather than a bear, could be pork sword.
posted by Armitage Shanks at 8:53 AM on August 23, 2007

NICE Armitage.

What are we forgetting? Tapping the ass... Dirty Fist? Mutton Bath? Tradesmen's entrance? Red walls - painting? Teabagging... Head... Brown ball in the hole - Stink? Ron Jeremy... Meat Sandwich... Rusty Trombones...
posted by GooseOnTheLoose at 9:04 AM on August 23, 2007

Also, they missed an opportunity there by not having any blue balls on the pool table.

Snooker euphemisms win over though in dirtyness scale: miss the pink but sink in the brown. Geddit?

I still don't get the dog in bathtub. Everything else is fine. The 'tapping the ass' is actually a Donkey Punch.
posted by slimepuppy at 9:10 AM on August 23, 2007

I hate that I knew it was a donkey punch.

*curses the internets*
posted by squasha at 9:16 AM on August 23, 2007

They were playing pocket pool.
posted by fallenposters at 9:30 AM on August 23, 2007

In retrospect, I could have lived without knowing that the euphemism "beef curtains" existed.

I always thought "meat drapes" sounded funnier. And not just because I learned it from Tina Fey.
posted by sambosambo at 9:35 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I hate that I just looked up "donkey punch."

*curses the internets*
posted by poweredbybeard at 9:36 AM on August 23, 2007

dog in a bath tub: This is a proper name for when you attempt to insert your nuts into a girl's ass. It is so named because it can be just as hard as keeping a dog in the tub while giving it a bath.
posted by phaedon at 9:39 AM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

wow, that was an eye opener
posted by indigo4963 at 9:41 AM on August 23, 2007

Phaedon: Oh come on, now they're just making things up.
posted by The Bellman at 9:45 AM on August 23, 2007

Wait, no, that should be: now they're just making things up. Damn you, A-loves-P!
posted by The Bellman at 9:47 AM on August 23, 2007

Further down the definition includes an example:

I tried like hell to pull off a Dog In A Bath Tub on Suzy, but her queaf threw my balance off.

Brilliant.
posted by phaedon at 9:54 AM on August 23, 2007

That was pretty clever.
posted by eyeballkid at 10:00 AM on August 23, 2007

Al Parker did the dog in a bathtub:

Famous for his large penis, Parker was almost exclusively a top on film. One of his stunts was inserting not only his penis, but his testicles as well.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 10:05 AM on August 23, 2007

This may have been mentioned in the blue not too long ago (I seem to recall finding it via a link in a thread), but: somewhat related.
posted by gummi at 10:42 AM on August 23, 2007

So...in Australia "the bear masticates a sword" is a euphemism for "I'm going to use some tissues now"?

No, but maybe in Noo Ziland, sweetie.
posted by goo at 12:46 PM on August 23, 2007

Still not getting the bear with the sword in its mouth. Does this viral ad have a walkthrough?
posted by tehloki at 4:05 PM on August 23, 2007

I think it may have been a boar with a sword in it's mouth.
Or a "pork sword"

*guessing*
posted by seanyboy at 4:39 PM on August 23, 2007

Plus "The decorators are in" is the wall painting one. (euphamism for menstruation)
Tradesman entrance is the the same as back passage.
posted by seanyboy at 4:43 PM on August 23, 2007

A bear swallowing a sword?
posted by goo at 5:05 PM on August 23, 2007

Awesome.
posted by Ricky_gr10 at 9:02 PM on August 23, 2007

the two mates he slid between were named Ron, Jeremy.
Too funny
posted by wonway at 11:05 PM on August 24, 2007

I watched it again, it's definitely a boar so 'porksword'. He also 'lost his watch' on the dirt track on the way to the bell end. Heh.
posted by goo at 3:33 AM on August 26, 2007