America to the Rescue

August 23, 2007 6:55 PM

Three Generations of “America to the Rescue.”
posted by homunculus (39 comments total)

I very rarely think Daily Show segments are good enough to post, but this was one of the best bits they've done, imo. American foreign policy in a nutshell.
posted by homunculus at 6:55 PM on August 23, 2007

How to Survive at the Pentagon on $2 Billion a Day.
posted by homunculus at 6:56 PM on August 23, 2007

Yet somehow, someway, Americans manage to still vote for the Democrats and Republicans. I noticed that Stewart avoided the heart of the matter. The fault rests with the American public who placed, and placed again and again, such people in power.
posted by Gnostic Novelist at 7:14 PM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

I thought the big punchline at the end fell flat, but very solid piece besides. Someday The Daily Show is going to go off the air, and boy are we going to miss it.
posted by Riki tiki at 7:23 PM on August 23, 2007

If billions of dollars of weaponry are outlawed then only outlaws will have billions of dollars worth of weaponry.
posted by Citizen Premier at 7:31 PM on August 23, 2007

The fault rests with the American public who placed, and placed again and again, such people in power.

Exactly. That's why it's okay to target American civilians.
posted by fleacircus at 7:55 PM on August 23, 2007 [4 favorites]

Someday The Daily Show is going to go off the air, and boy are we going to miss it.

will we? if this is our weimar republic, then i'm hoping for something better than a current affairs comedy show on cable tv...

paging kurt weil...
posted by geos at 8:04 PM on August 23, 2007

then only outlaws will have billions of dollars worth of weaponry.

Indeed.
posted by homunculus at 8:04 PM on August 23, 2007

This is fucking brilliant.
posted by jmhodges at 8:08 PM on August 23, 2007

If this upsets you, you're missing the point. Obviously, when we say "America to the Rescue," our primary objective is to rescue and keep Americans safe, not these strange cow-worshipping, hookah-sucking rock lobbers.

It's the responsible thing to ship weapons outside our borders. That's $2 Billion worth of military armament kept off our city streets. We knew what we were doing. When you sell two violent drunks who are fistfighting on your lawn fully automatic weapons, you get them off your lawn for good. Being dead is merely a side effect of their own violent tendencies. We just, you know, made everything more efficient.

Seriously, though, this segment was awesome. What do you call laughing hysterically out of sheer frustrated indignation? Guffawfulling?
posted by krippledkonscious at 8:10 PM on August 23, 2007 [3 favorites]

I had a International Relations teacher back in college who is, I am sure, cackling to himself at this very moment as he prepares tomorrow's lecture around that clip.

If he hasn't been fired in the last seven years.
posted by lekvar at 8:21 PM on August 23, 2007

I laughed, I cried, I kissed a lasting international peace based on mutual understanding and respect goodbye.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:44 PM on August 23, 2007

"Oh billions of dollars, is there no dispute you can't resolve?"
posted by Avenger at 8:50 PM on August 23, 2007 [1 favorite]

krippledkonscious: we do now.

Example usage: "Bill O'Reilly's falafeling resulted in my guffawfulling."
posted by Riki tiki at 8:51 PM on August 23, 2007

I feel compelled to point out that the PLEASE STAND BY image at the end of the clip came from the late 90s role-playing game Fallout. It was a game based on the annihilation of civilization from nuclear war.

Nicely done, TDS.
posted by suckerpunch at 9:37 PM on August 23, 2007

I feel compelled to point out that the PLEASE STAND BY image at the end of the clip came from the late 90s role-playing game Fallout. It was a game based on the annihilation of civilization from nuclear war.

I feel compelled to point out that John Stewart referred to Barack Obama as a "newbie."

So, here's my million dollar geek question: is U.S. foreign policy best analogized to the design principles of John Carmack or Will Wright?
posted by spiderwire at 9:46 PM on August 23, 2007

I feel compelled to point out that the PLEASE STAND BY image at the end of the clip came from the late 90s role-playing game Fallout. It was a game based on the annihilation of civilization from nuclear war.
posted by suckerpunch at 12:37 AM on August 24

The test pattern used in the game and the clip is in fact the famous Indian Head Test Pattern first introduced in 1939. The test pattern was discussed previously on Metafilter.

The words "Please Stand By" plastered across it give it away as having come from Fallout. And I agree, it was a clever little reference by the show.
posted by Pastabagel at 9:47 PM on August 23, 2007

By which I mean: is the problem that our leaders think they're playing Quake, or SimCity?

GinRummy: Frag the sons of bitches!

B1G_D1CK: No, send in a hurricane and raise taxes to 20%!

W43: stfu noob lol roflcopter
posted by spiderwire at 9:50 PM on August 23, 2007 [4 favorites]

CPowell: mass mechanized infantry and howitzers

Wolf2thaWitz: We should thank our benefactors for giving us respite from this overpowering force. They have thrown a switch and exorcised our demons in a single stroke. They have given us the strength we never could have summoned to overcome this compulsion. They have given us purpose. They have turned our eyes toward the stars.

PETRAEUSPRIME: zerg rush kekeke
posted by spiderwire at 9:58 PM on August 23, 2007

So, here's my million dollar geek question: is U.S. foreign policy best analogized to the design principles of John Carmack or Will Wright?

Neither. It's more like John Romero.

Hey, Iraq : John Romero's About To Make You His Bitch!!!1!
posted by suckerpunch at 12:00 AM on August 24, 2007

Yet somehow, someway, Americans manage to still vote for the Democrats and Republicans.

Not meaningfully true - it would be more accurate to say that it doesn't matter who Americans actually vote for, the system pretty much ensures the winners can only be democrats or republicans.
For example, in 2001, fully one in ten voters chose Nader, and yet despite those huge numbers, their votes got them zero representation - in congress, senate, and white house. Nothing. It was as if those millions of people had simply not voted!
posted by -harlequin- at 1:39 AM on August 24, 2007 [1 favorite]

I feel compelled to point out that John Stewart referred to Barack Obama as a "newbie."

Yet he was quite cordial and respectful during his interview with Obama later that same episode, and they had an insightful discussion on how the media creates narratives around candidates and tries to reinforce them whenever possible.
posted by JHarris at 2:22 AM on August 24, 2007

Gnostic Novelist: "Yet somehow, someway, Americans manage to still vote for the Democrats and Republicans."

So you've go three choices here:

1. Vote for a third party and either throw your vote away or split the side that you support and get the other side elected.
2. Try to get an amendment to the constitution that changes use elections to a proportional system that allows coalition governments which is never going to happen.
3. Vote for a Democrat or a Republican.

Not really a situation that I'm happy with but that's the one we got.
posted by octothorpe at 4:44 AM on August 24, 2007

I regret that I have only one vote to throw away for my country.
posted by jaronson at 6:30 AM on August 24, 2007

Yet somehow, someway, Americans manage to still vote for the Democrats and Republicans. I noticed that Stewart avoided the heart of the matter. The fault rests with the American public who placed, and placed again and again, such people in power.

I swear to god, GN, every time you post a comment I image the Goth Kids from South Park hired a lobbyist.

Fucking conformist zombies. You're all going to die anyway.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 6:51 AM on August 24, 2007

-harlequin-: For example, in 2001, fully one in ten voters chose Nader, and yet despite those huge numbers, their votes got them zero representation - in congress, senate, and white house. Nothing. It was as if those millions of people had simply not votedvoted for Bush!

Fixed that for you.
posted by The Bellman at 7:08 AM on August 24, 2007

-harlequin-: "For example, in 2001, fully one in ten voters chose Nader, and yet despite those huge numbers, their votes got them zero representation - in congress, senate, and white house. Nothing. It was as if those millions of people had simply not voted!"

I get your point -- a proportional representation system of some sort would reflect the shades-of-grey better than our system currently does -- but it's not quite as zomg outrageous as you imply. Of those one-in-ten, how many voted third-party across the board? I voted for Nader, but I voted Democratic for several local elections. I was represented, just not in the Oval Office. But then again, the majority of Americans can say the same thing.

Also, I think you mean 2000.
posted by Plutor at 7:44 AM on August 24, 2007

Neither. It's more like John Romero.

Hey, Iraq : John Romero's About To Make You His Bitch!!!1!

Diakatana.
posted by YoBananaBoy at 9:24 AM on August 24, 2007

jaronson: I regret that I have only one vote to throw away for my country.

The exact words I spoke standing in line at the Milwaukee County Courthouse to vote in the Presidental election of 1980, when our choices were a President who hadn't exactly thrilled the country for the preceding four years, an ex-actor and governor of California, and a third-party candidate who'd been a Republican representative in Congress and is all but forgotten now.

Yeah, I'd like to see the proportional-representation thing happen too, but absent a terrorist nuke in DC wiping the slate clean -- not something I'd be eager to see, given probable unforeseen consequences -- I don't see much chance of it happening.
posted by pax digita at 9:27 AM on August 24, 2007

Could've included selling weapons to Iran during the Iran-Iraq War and overthrowing Iran's democratic government and installing the shah.

I feel compelled to point out that John Stewart referred to Barack Obama as a 'newbie.'

I took that as Stewart's pithy summation of others' criticism of Obama, not Stewart's own opinion. From the tone of the piece it's pretty obvious he's not endorsing the criticism.

a third-party candidate who'd been a Republican representative in Congress and is all but forgotten now

Oh, yeah. John Anderson.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:47 AM on August 24, 2007

Baghdad embassy-fortress nearly built
posted by homunculus at 11:44 AM on August 24, 2007

Military Coup Planned for Iraq?
posted by homunculus at 11:58 AM on August 24, 2007

Bush's "Killing Fields" and the Real Lesson of Vietnam

Another Iraq-Vietnam Link: Many Killed By U.S. War
posted by homunculus at 12:50 PM on August 24, 2007

I was pointing out Stewart's use of the term "newbie" (read: noob) because I don't think I've ever heard anybody use that term outside of a video-games context. It definitely struck me as weird when I heard it. But whatever, I approve :)
posted by spiderwire at 1:13 PM on August 24, 2007

Ah, but we’re going to outsource our intelligence so everything will be ok now.
(Although Mike Pflueger at the DIA has been bitching about the flatter, declining budget for a while, and last I heard he wasn’t a big believer in outsourcing functions - it’s very very doubtful it’s internally driven. )

Re: 3rd party - or we could just keep plugging away at it. Inroads made in Illinois here. Hello.
posted by Smedleyman at 1:57 PM on August 24, 2007

Daily Show: Bush’s Magical History Tour
posted by homunculus at 6:07 PM on August 24, 2007

Colbert Marks 5th Anniversary of Cheney’s ‘Operation: Iraq Lies’
posted by homunculus at 6:10 PM on August 24, 2007

spiderware: So, here's my million dollar geek question: is U.S. foreign policy best analogized to the design principles of John Carmack or Will Wright?

No, we're the Uwe Boll movie of the video game.
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:40 AM on August 25, 2007

Whistleblowers on Fraud Facing Penalties: One after another, the men and women who have stepped forward to report corruption in the massive effort to rebuild Iraq have been vilified, fired and demoted.
posted by homunculus at 11:59 AM on August 25, 2007