Comments on: "Unfortunately, Bin Laden was a really good hider."

"Unfortunately, Bin Laden was a really good hider."

kirkaracha — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:43:02 -0800

The Ongoing Hunt for Osama bin Laden is a comprehensive Newsweek update on the search for Osama. Psychics can't find him. Native American trackers can't find him. As the Daily Show noted in 2004, the dead or alive terrorist mastermind is "a really good hider."

By: Malor

Malor — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:45:58 -0800

If we find him, we have no bogeyman.

By: gomichild

gomichild — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:47:03 -0800

Have they tried telemarketers? They seem able to track anyone down.

By: lupus_yonderboy

lupus_yonderboy — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:51:02 -0800

Come on, he's been dead for years: we've heard nothing from him. How long can you live on the run while needing dialysis?

By: Blazecock Pileon

Blazecock Pileon — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:51:07 -0800

Osama bin Laden and Emmanuel Goldstein are hiding on an island somewhere, supping ice-cold margaritas whilst working on their tans.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:56:51 -0800

Is that who has been sleeping on my sofa? I was wondering why he always refused my delicious rum milkshakes.

By: Skygazer

Skygazer — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 10:57:53 -0800

Osama Bin who??

By: Mikey-San

Mikey-San — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:09:59 -0800

How can you find someone you aren't really looking for?

By: any major dude

any major dude — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:27:36 -0800

Doesn't Al-Qaeda go on vacation in August?

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:31:00 -0800

The administration would not benefit from capturing bin Ladin and therefore will not attempt to capture bin Ladin.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:31:01 -0800

I saw Osama just the other day. He was playing golf with this guy. Then afterwards they hung out at the Circle K with Elvis and Hendrix.

By: ericb

ericb — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:33:34 -0800

"...capturing bin Laden is 'not a top priority use of American resources.'" -- George W. Bush | September 2006 "I truly am not concerned about [bin Laden]" -- George W. Bush | March 2002

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:34:22 -0800

Why the assumption he's dead? The only time I've ever listened to Don Imus was on the radio once during a long drive. The guy who always plays the tough Drill Sergeant (think Full Metal Jacket) was a guest. He and Don agreed that not only was Osama dead but so was Saddam, who was currently in hiding. There wasnt much logic or proof other than "Rah rah america, we havent heard from those guys so they must be dead. Our bombs and soliders are too smart." Sadly, Osama is probably alive and well and still working towards furthering Al Qaedas goals.

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:36:50 -0800

Osama goes up to the north pole every year to help out Santa's elves. Labor day is fast approaching so he's probably helping Jerry's kids.

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:51:57 -0800

Its just as funny to hear the left make the same claim. Except he's alive because our politicians are too smart to let him die, instead of he's dead because our military is too smart to let him get away.

By: DenOfSizer

DenOfSizer — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:55:01 -0800

Isn't he running for President?

By: Sangermaine

Sangermaine — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:55:50 -0800

damn dirty ape, Because even years ago when he regularly made appearances or tapes he was a sick man, and he's been on the run for years? It's not that the politicians are "too smart to let him die". You don't have to be a genius to refrain from action. The reason it seems more plausible that the government is not really working as hard as it could on this is that for years, especially post-9/11, Osama was The Enemy. He was this evil mastermind, and yet we've basically never been anywhere near catching him, and we really don't even hear about any efforts to do so any more. If he really was such a threat, it sure seems like no one in power cares enough to do something about it.

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 11:55:52 -0800

In January 1993 Mir Aimal Kansi killed two people on the street outside the CIA headquarters and fled to the same Afghanistan/Pakistan border region where bin Laden is probably hiding, where the FBI captured him in June 1997. Kill two people, we track you down. Plan an attack that kills 3,000 people, and you're "not a top priority." The guy who always plays the tough Drill Sergeant (think Full Metal Jacket) R. Lee Ermey was a drill sergeant before he started his acting career.

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:01:42 -0800

Poor people live on dialysis for decades. A near-billionaire on the run probably more resources than your average westerner. Incredible how convincing conspiracy theories are to people who should know better.

By: Sangermaine

Sangermaine — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:07:15 -0800

damn dirty ape, A sick man on the lam being at risk is a conspiracy?

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:08:19 -0800

Not to mention the importance of bin laden is overstated. Consider how easily Bush and the GOP turned Saddam into the bad buy, practially overnight. They didnt need bin laden for that. They just needed the NYtimes and Fox News to carry their talking points. WMDs, etc. Cheney was nice enough to link Saddam and 9/11 but it was Colin Powell and the media who sold this war. No need for OBL really.

By: Riverine

Riverine — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:42:34 -0800

My mom suggests that he is passing as a woman, under full burqu'ah somewhere.

By: ericb

ericb — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 12:46:37 -0800

At 6' 4" tall, bin Laden would make a mighty tall Middle Eastern woman!

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:00:31 -0800

Never heard of a tall person slouching?

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:02:50 -0800

R. Lee Ermey was a drill sergeant before he started his acting career. R. Lee Ermey is also batshit insane.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:02:50 -0800

So our plan is to just wait until he dies on his own? Brilliant! We should have just waited out Hitler too! And why ever arrest anyone? Waste of resources! Just wait for them to die!

By: ZachsMind

ZachsMind — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:06:27 -0800

Alive he's a coward. Dead he's a martyr. Which would you choose?

By: Pope Guilty

Pope Guilty — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:20:24 -0800

Alive he's a coward. Are you shitting me? He's the guy who punched the biggest sixth-grader on the playground and got away with it, the same way Saddam was after the first Gulf War.

By: newfers

newfers — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:21:42 -0800

Psychics? oh good god, I live in a world full of morons.

By: ericb

ericb — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:24:49 -0800

And that sixth-grader is still waiting to find out how 'My Pet Goat' ends.

By: ericb

ericb — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 13:26:47 -0800

Psychics? oh good god, I live in a world full of morons. ...there really are no 'good psychics', only charlatans.

By: dilettante

dilettante — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 15:37:27 -0800

Josef Mengele's World Hide-and-Seek title is still safe. Bin Laden's got some serious catching up to do - about 35 years or so, depending on how you want to count. And there weren't many places in the world where Mengele would have been seen sympathetically, and there were people who were really trying to find him.

By: GrammarMoses

GrammarMoses — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 16:19:55 -0800

"Unfortunately, Bin Laden was a really good hider." Olly olly oxen free!!

By: kirkaracha

kirkaracha — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 17:30:25 -0800

And that sixth-grader is still waiting to find out how 'My Pet Goat' ends. I thought President Bush ~~"immediately...implemented our government's emergency response plans"~~ ~~sat on his ass scared shitless for 10 minutes~~ courteously waited until the ending. "No child left behind," right?

By: b_thinky

b_thinky — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 22:31:37 -0800

Aggressively pursuing Osama in Pakistan is a bad idea. There are many sympathizers in Pakistan; if their own government sells out bin Laden it could lead to the militant-supporters taking control. Let's not forget Pakistan does have nukes.

By: SisterHavana

SisterHavana — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 23:41:46 -0800

He's guarding the massive stash of Iraqi WMDs that we were assured were there. Didn't you know that?

By: porpoise

porpoise — Sun, 26 Aug 2007 23:45:23 -0800

Josef Mengele's World Hide-and-Seek title is still safe. So they didn't find him in his South American Ariantown? Mengele, whose health had deteriorated for years, died on February 7, 1979, in Santos, Brazil, when he suffered a stroke while swimming in the sea... In 1992, a DNA test confirmed Mengele's identity. He had evaded capture for 34 years. Huh. Well I'll be. Motherfucker.