Everyone's a winner at Nixon Peabody!
August 27, 2007 2:47 PM Subscribe
Boston law firm Nixon Peabody commissions a song to praise itself ("Everyone's a winner at Nixon Peabody!") after being named one of Fortune's 100 Best Places to Work. The legal blog 'Above the Law' posts an MP3 of the song, a video to YouTube and writes about it. The law firm is 'non-too-happy' that bloggers and lawyers are circulating the cheezy song via e-mail and blog postings. They lawyer-up and issue a claim of copyright violation with Google. The clip is removed from YouTube. Bloggers run with the story ... let the mocking and parodies begin!
Lest we forget:
KPMG - We're as strong as can be
Chorus
KPMG - We're as strong as can be,
A team of power and energy,
We go for the gold, together we hold
Onto our vision of global strategy!
Repeat Chorus
We create, we innovate,
We pass the ones that are late
A global dream... this is our dream of success that we create.
We'll be number one, with effort and fun
Together each of us can run
For gold - that shines like the sun in our eyes.
Chorus x 2
The time is now to lead the way,
We share the same the idea
That may win by the end of the day.
Our strength is here to stay.
Identity, one energy,
One strategy, with sympathy.
These are the words that will lead us into a new world.
Chorus x 3
Kay-Pee-Emm-Geee - we got the power...
Ooooh-oohh...
posted by nasreddin at 3:05 PM on August 27, 2007
KPMG - We're as strong as can be
Chorus
KPMG - We're as strong as can be,
A team of power and energy,
We go for the gold, together we hold
Onto our vision of global strategy!
Repeat Chorus
We create, we innovate,
We pass the ones that are late
A global dream... this is our dream of success that we create.
We'll be number one, with effort and fun
Together each of us can run
For gold - that shines like the sun in our eyes.
Chorus x 2
The time is now to lead the way,
We share the same the idea
That may win by the end of the day.
Our strength is here to stay.
Identity, one energy,
One strategy, with sympathy.
These are the words that will lead us into a new world.
Chorus x 3
Kay-Pee-Emm-Geee - we got the power...
Ooooh-oohh...
posted by nasreddin at 3:05 PM on August 27, 2007
my place of work's new morale boosting exercise is that we need to start 'drinking the kool-aid' and they passed out cups full of kool aid at the company meeting.
I don't think they have any idea where that phrase came from.
Actually, let me rephrase.
I sincerely HOPE they don't have any idea where the phrase came from.
(i did not actually drink the kool-aid, just in case)
posted by empath at 3:09 PM on August 27, 2007 [8 favorites]
I don't think they have any idea where that phrase came from.
Actually, let me rephrase.
I sincerely HOPE they don't have any idea where the phrase came from.
(i did not actually drink the kool-aid, just in case)
posted by empath at 3:09 PM on August 27, 2007 [8 favorites]
they passed out cups full of kool aid at the company meeting
Next-up -- human resources suggests thet all new hires get deloused at Company Orientation?
posted by ericb at 3:12 PM on August 27, 2007
Next-up -- human resources suggests thet all new hires get deloused at Company Orientation?
posted by ericb at 3:12 PM on August 27, 2007
Next-up -- human resources passes-out nose bones to show support for the corporate cargo cult.
posted by basicchannel at 3:20 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by basicchannel at 3:20 PM on August 27, 2007
They should have a hipster on retainer to explain that the song was ironic.
posted by mecran01 at 3:24 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by mecran01 at 3:24 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites]
They should have a hipster on retainer to explain that the song was ironic.
It's like tort on your filing day
It's pro bono when you've already paid...
posted by maxwelton at 3:32 PM on August 27, 2007 [4 favorites]
It's like tort on your filing day
It's pro bono when you've already paid...
posted by maxwelton at 3:32 PM on August 27, 2007 [4 favorites]
Average associate billable hours at that firm are reported at 2258. It is called a "sweatshop" in the industry.
Let me translate - that means that for 50 weeks out of the year you are billing 45 hours a week. Sounds good if you aren't a lawyer, right? Well, let me further translate - lawyers routinely have a third or more of their time spent doing things that are not billable to a client. So, a 45 hour week in billable hours is actually close to a 70 hour work week.
How do you get to 70 hours a week? You work morning, noon, night, weekends, holidays, kid's birthdays (wait, never mind, no time for kids, sex, or marriage), your dental appointment, in your sleep, and while you are trying to buy your way to happiness.
This is not your life for a week, this is your life.
So, everyone is a winner? 100 best places to work? Riiiight.
When you are a firm of people that can't possibly have a life outside the firm, it is no wonder that such a lame song is created, leaked, and then overreacted to by the lawyers.
posted by Muddler at 3:39 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites]
Let me translate - that means that for 50 weeks out of the year you are billing 45 hours a week. Sounds good if you aren't a lawyer, right? Well, let me further translate - lawyers routinely have a third or more of their time spent doing things that are not billable to a client. So, a 45 hour week in billable hours is actually close to a 70 hour work week.
How do you get to 70 hours a week? You work morning, noon, night, weekends, holidays, kid's birthdays (wait, never mind, no time for kids, sex, or marriage), your dental appointment, in your sleep, and while you are trying to buy your way to happiness.
This is not your life for a week, this is your life.
So, everyone is a winner? 100 best places to work? Riiiight.
When you are a firm of people that can't possibly have a life outside the firm, it is no wonder that such a lame song is created, leaked, and then overreacted to by the lawyers.
posted by Muddler at 3:39 PM on August 27, 2007 [2 favorites]
i briefly worked for a firm that a few years prior to my time there had a new slogan made up and put on everything - their mantra, if you will. I was rather confused when i came across a stack of sticky notes on my desk that had been a part of that campaign which simply read "Customers For A Change" - I inquired as to why they advertised the fact they didn't have customers. The airheaded dingbat company stooge said "But no! Our company seeks customers who want a change!" and they could not get it through their head that the phrase implied something radically different than what was intended!
i left that job after two months (needless to say they were all as clueless as their unintended double entendre suggested) and i still have a dwindling stack of these sticky notes somewhere in my desk at home ...
posted by kuppajava at 3:43 PM on August 27, 2007
i left that job after two months (needless to say they were all as clueless as their unintended double entendre suggested) and i still have a dwindling stack of these sticky notes somewhere in my desk at home ...
posted by kuppajava at 3:43 PM on August 27, 2007
From the firm's homepage:
"I don't need lawyers who win at all costs. I need them to win, but calculate the costs."
Translated: "I don't need lawyers who win at all costs. I need lawyers who win at all costs and at the same time cut as many costs as they can -- and then cut them again."
And the capper is the disclaimer at the foot of the page in fine print:
"The person in this ad is an actor depicting a fictional event. This website contains attorney advertising. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome."
posted by blucevalo at 4:04 PM on August 27, 2007
"I don't need lawyers who win at all costs. I need them to win, but calculate the costs."
Translated: "I don't need lawyers who win at all costs. I need lawyers who win at all costs and at the same time cut as many costs as they can -- and then cut them again."
And the capper is the disclaimer at the foot of the page in fine print:
"The person in this ad is an actor depicting a fictional event. This website contains attorney advertising. Prior results do not guarantee a similar outcome."
posted by blucevalo at 4:04 PM on August 27, 2007
That song is 4:20 seconds too long for my tastes.
posted by humannaire at 4:17 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by humannaire at 4:17 PM on August 27, 2007
I think "lawyer up" is the best internetism ever.
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:17 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by Pope Guilty at 4:17 PM on August 27, 2007
Now that's what I call music to make love to.
posted by RokkitNite at 4:25 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by RokkitNite at 4:25 PM on August 27, 2007
Who the hell wants unaggressive lawyers?
Why do people approve such shitty copy?
posted by blacklite at 4:28 PM on August 27, 2007
Why do people approve such shitty copy?
posted by blacklite at 4:28 PM on August 27, 2007
bwahahahahaaha.. this post made my day.
(I used to work at a corporate law firm. Not this one. I'd tell a story, but I'm job-hunting right now, so best to play it safe.)
posted by desjardins at 4:47 PM on August 27, 2007
(I used to work at a corporate law firm. Not this one. I'd tell a story, but I'm job-hunting right now, so best to play it safe.)
posted by desjardins at 4:47 PM on August 27, 2007
Speaking of corporate tripe, who could ever forget the soul-crushing U2 cover at Bank of America?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qAuqq1LFnU
posted by vanadium at 5:02 PM on August 27, 2007
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0qAuqq1LFnU
posted by vanadium at 5:02 PM on August 27, 2007
Well, I don't know about ya'll, but I want to work there now.
posted by nzero at 5:19 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by nzero at 5:19 PM on August 27, 2007
Why on earth do companies perpetuate these stupid corporate devotionals?
Okay, okay, I know the answer and you probably do too. Either the CEO fancies oneself as a worthwhile musician; internal employees need an internal rallying cry; or there's simply money to blow at the end of a quarter and it must be blown, lest it go away.
No matter the intention, though, anthems always fail. Whether put forth with a serious or a self-effacing effort, the songs wind up in the incorrect bin, fodder for the rest of us with 10 minutes to waste in slack-jawed amusement.
posted by diastematic at 5:24 PM on August 27, 2007
Okay, okay, I know the answer and you probably do too. Either the CEO fancies oneself as a worthwhile musician; internal employees need an internal rallying cry; or there's simply money to blow at the end of a quarter and it must be blown, lest it go away.
No matter the intention, though, anthems always fail. Whether put forth with a serious or a self-effacing effort, the songs wind up in the incorrect bin, fodder for the rest of us with 10 minutes to waste in slack-jawed amusement.
posted by diastematic at 5:24 PM on August 27, 2007
Celine Dion's Air Canada song is unfortunately a mainstream pop hit. Radio stations like to play lip service to Canadian Content laws by playing a Celine Dion every other hour, nd for some godawful reason this happens to be the song of choice right now. Nothing like listening to Celine Dion belt out an advertisement for four minutes whenever you turn the radio on or happen to be in a department store.
posted by arcticwoman at 8:19 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by arcticwoman at 8:19 PM on August 27, 2007
Crap; and here I am a one-man band. cortex, write me a song that I can do in banjo, hurdy-gurdy, beat-box and foot organ.
posted by yhbc at 8:21 PM on August 27, 2007
posted by yhbc at 8:21 PM on August 27, 2007
This is the best thing since We Built This Starbucks!
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 12:26 PM on August 28, 2007
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 12:26 PM on August 28, 2007
Um, this is a news report about something that happened in the 80s, right? That's the only thing in my mind that explains the godawful music.
Also, you can go on about KPMG as much as you want, but we all know that MCKC is the best There is a dream, a dream that's ours *cue rain*.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:49 PM on August 29, 2007
Also, you can go on about KPMG as much as you want, but we all know that MCKC is the best There is a dream, a dream that's ours *cue rain*.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:49 PM on August 29, 2007
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posted by billysumday at 3:01 PM on August 27, 2007