Join 3,553 readers in helping fund MetaFilter (Hide)


Mswati III checks 40000 bare breasted girls
September 2, 2007 4:34 PM   Subscribe

DearLeaderFilter: We had Turkmenbashi and his enlightened laws , we heard Karl Rove cry of appreciation when watching the fantastic propaganda of the most precious dear leader Kim Jong Il and elder people will remember a 2 meters tall black dictator Idi Amin Dada as one of the weirdest and most paranoid. But did you know about Mswati III of Swaziland, the second of 210 sons of the elderly King Sobhuza II ? Every year he gets to check out 40000 bare breasted, machete wielding maidens and eventually pick a new wife.
posted by elpapacito (26 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
More bad man here
posted by elpapacito at 4:34 PM on September 2, 2007


More pics of the annual show.
posted by elpapacito at 4:35 PM on September 2, 2007


Hopefully he knows to reject the first 37 perrcent.
posted by transona5 at 4:38 PM on September 2, 2007


Qaddafi has a person retinue of "Amazonians."

Hawt.
posted by bardic at 4:41 PM on September 2, 2007


he gets to check out 40000 bare breasted, machete wielding maidens

Yet one more of the benefits of being the titular head of your country.
posted by ericb at 4:46 PM on September 2, 2007


Meh. When I took my bride, it was from 60,000 women, they were holding chainsaws, and it was full frontal.

And really, who wears a leopard-skin loincloth? Everyone knows that when choosing a wife, you wear jaguar skin.

Sheesh.
posted by quin at 4:50 PM on September 2, 2007 [2 favorites]


Meh. Thug.
posted by limon at 5:34 PM on September 2, 2007


Meh. Thug.

You meh because secretly you are quite envious.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:36 PM on September 2, 2007


Also, this post would really go down better over a dinner of rare wild game and expensive old wine raided from Hitler's storehouse.
posted by Burhanistan at 5:38 PM on September 2, 2007


good for him.
posted by mr_book at 5:52 PM on September 2, 2007


It's good to be the King
posted by growabrain at 6:06 PM on September 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


That Kim Jong Il video reminded me of this great propaganda movie with Joseph Stalin and how this Russian soldier reunites with his sweetheart that was in a concentration camp, and it ends with everyone shouting in their own respective tongues "LONG LIVE JOSEPH STALIN!"

Too bad I can't find that video though.
posted by champthom at 6:28 PM on September 2, 2007


That 8th link needs a [SFW] warning tag.
posted by Deathalicious at 6:30 PM on September 2, 2007


Please, please, fucking please stop linking to crap videos that are all about text information and yet the text is impossible to see.
posted by ranchocalamari at 6:55 PM on September 2, 2007


I actually tried to contact King Mswati a few years ago and got as far as his prime minister when he realized I was just a crank.

Another kooky aside, my bro in law was a peace corps volunteer there in Swaziland in the 80's and he loved it. He's still very much in love with the people. Too bad the king is a douche. (In honor of this post, I'm gonna try to crank him again, it's all in good fun.)
posted by snsranch at 7:47 PM on September 2, 2007


anybody remember the eddie murphy movie where he's playing an african prince, and he's standing in a bath with his dad and one of them says "don't your girls blow you too?"

this contest is rigged. you're looking at 40,000 pairs of tits, that's an overload, conducive to bad decisionmaking. the king can tear off a piece anytime he wants, but selecting a wife is properly arranged in advance, despite the appearance of spontaneity.
posted by bruce at 8:53 PM on September 2, 2007


"Elder"? You need to learn you some anglish. I learned me some so can you! I ain't 'elder', that are my daddy. Me just a bit old. :-P So I remember Idi Amin.

As for the Reed Dance, I've seen it performed, and it's beautiful. Native African dance is totally awesome, and one of the biggest treats to living in Africa. Oh, and 'Swazi' is a name given to some awesome 420 down here.
posted by Goofyy at 8:57 PM on September 2, 2007


Compelling 40,000 bare-breasted virgins to dance around topless is surely the work of a great & visionary ruler, as opposed to the kinds of shenanigans we've seen too much in politics recently. If only all world leaders could come up with similar schemes for the embiggenment of human experience.

And as a token gesture towards non-sexism, the young & muscly fellas should be out there doing their thing in a similar ceremony, too.
posted by UbuRoivas at 9:11 PM on September 2, 2007 [1 favorite]


Also, this post would really go down better over a dinner of rare wild game and expensive old wine raided from Hitler's storehouse.

Punctuated by cocaine, snorted from the heads of dwarves wearing silver trays who walk among us.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:28 AM on September 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


OK, I'm sending this dwarf straight over in your direction, UbuRoivas.

I've given him a tip to make sure that he avoids being diverted by Burhanistan, who I believe is in the habit of offering them extra money to perform a live sex show at previous threads like this.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:03 AM on September 3, 2007


MetaFilter: The work of a great & visionary ruler, compelling 40,000 machete-wielding virgins to dance around topless.
posted by fandango_matt at 4:07 AM on September 3, 2007


But did you know about Mswati III of Swaziland, the second of 210 sons of the elderly King Sobhuza II ?

Yes. But I guess once a year is a reasonable frequency. It's like all caps day.
posted by languagehat at 5:51 AM on September 3, 2007


Oy vey ! My bad ! Well if once a year is good for him, it's probably good for us too ! I wish, sorta...
posted by elpapacito at 7:52 AM on September 3, 2007


I hear Miss Teen USA South Carolina was a runner up.
posted by analogue at 8:14 AM on September 3, 2007


transona5 writes "Hopefully he knows to reject the first 37 perrcent."

transona5, that's the right line of thought, but the 37% rule gives you only a 37% chance of achieving the optimal choice. If you're willing to be satisfied with someone in the top 90%, you can do a lot better.
posted by Araucaria at 11:39 AM on September 3, 2007


MetaFilter: The work of a great & visionary ruler, compelling 40,000 machete-wielding virgins to dance around topless.

Oh, this must be in the cabal-members-only area of the site.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:51 PM on September 3, 2007


« Older Nick Yee's Daedalus Project...  |  The nationalist Swiss People's... Newer »


This thread has been archived and is closed to new comments