Is this

March 19, 2001 11:22 AM

Is this what it takes to convince me not to hold my bridge toll in my mouth while i roll down the window? i mean, i guess we all know that money is dirty, but i used to enjoy my blissful ignorance.
posted by donkeysuck (13 comments total)

HA! That 1st link is from the online version of The Beaver County Times.
posted by quirked at 11:28 AM on March 19, 2001

It took me a couple seconds to figure out why the word "BEAVER" was written in all caps directly above the article. I thought it might have been a naughty subhead or a caption, but it was the dateline. Heh.
posted by waxpancake at 11:31 AM on March 19, 2001

That lends new meaning to "Where's George".
posted by plinth at 12:50 PM on March 19, 2001

In times gone by, bank tellers would wear gloves to prevent from contracting all sorts of nasty diseases, including leprosy.
posted by briank at 1:09 PM on March 19, 2001

Reminds me of a punchline to a decades-old Playboy Party Joke:

"Too bad we didn't have Maggie Thatcher along. We could have saved the Rolls, too."
posted by dfowler at 2:44 PM on March 19, 2001

but i used to enjoy my blissful ignorance.

Yeah, thanks a lot! YEAUCK!
(including wallet with laundry now...)
posted by samsara at 2:48 PM on March 19, 2001

Haha nice one.

Never any reason why you'd wanna put money in your mouth though. But.. you get far more contamination from other things anyway. Shook hands with someone recently? They probably masturbated with that hand earlier.

When you leave a public restroom, do you touch the taps? Do you touch the door handle? (I try not to whenever possible) If you do, that's contamination again.

Thankfully our immune systems are getting used to it ;-)
posted by wackybrit at 6:10 PM on March 19, 2001

"Shook hands with someone recently? They probably masturbated with that hand earlier."

A friend of mine would like to point out that when you masturbate, you're touching the cleanest part of your body.

I'm just going to stay quiet on this one, personally.
posted by CrayDrygu at 6:28 PM on March 19, 2001

CrayDrygu: are you sure? If it's the cleanest part of your body, then why do dogs always sniff there? Hmm? There should be no smell coming from the cleanest part of the body.
posted by PWA_BadBoy at 7:19 PM on March 19, 2001

when you masturbate, you're touching the cleanest part of your body.

Yeah, with your dick!
posted by kindall at 7:32 PM on March 19, 2001

“Shook hands with someone recently? They probably masturbated with that hand earlier.”

You get off on stuff like that, don’t you? :P

“There should be no smell coming from the cleanest part of the body.”

How do you figure? Clean things don’t have an odor? I don’t buy it! You and your bad logic. Um. :P
posted by gleemax at 9:22 PM on March 19, 2001

If I understand correctly she was effectively fined over 1,000 dollars for storing money in her vagina ("Reed also ordered that half of the cash be forfeited").

Why?!
posted by andrew cooke at 1:04 AM on March 20, 2001

Because state law clearly explicates that all spare money be kept in one's rectum. Hey, the law is the law.
posted by Skot at 1:18 AM on March 20, 2001