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September 4, 2007 11:27 AM   Subscribe

British football players pay with credit card, American politicians still pay with checks. (First link slightly NSFW.)
posted by iviken (26 comments total)

 
so what?
posted by MrMerlot at 11:31 AM on September 4, 2007


This is an excellent story, made excellent-er by the way the girl is quoted: "We turned through some gates up to an amazing house. The fat bloke ushered us through the door then said, ‘Which of you is Hannah?'. She is the one with the credit card machine."

And how many fags did they smoke?

The NSFW reference must be to that picture of Nani, right?
posted by Myeral at 11:35 AM on September 4, 2007


[An] American politicians still pay with checks.

The Springer thing was from 1980 and he was talking about years before. Back then Footballers were paying for hookers by bringing slabs of meat back to their caves.
posted by Pollomacho at 11:36 AM on September 4, 2007


All sorts of people in the US still use them! I see people use them at grocery stores!

It blows my mind.
posted by blacklite at 11:57 AM on September 4, 2007


What's the deal? I use checks all the time. I've gotten totally screwed via e-bill-payment systems and "check cards," but never checks. Sure, they can be forged, but the police are a whole load better at investigating and dealing with check forgers than they are at card-theft schemes. There's a lot to be said for them: they're simple, low-tech, can be sent through the mail, and they work.

Some day we'll get a good, universally accepted, secure e-cash system, but until that day comes, I'll continue using checks and the occasional charge card.
posted by Kadin2048 at 12:04 PM on September 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


"They made me feel cheap," she moaned. "I've slept with about 200 clients and I've never been treated with such little respect. They didn't care about our feelings. They didn't even talk. They just moved our bodies into the right positions."

What part of "you are a prostitute, not a footballer's girlfriend" don't you understand, dear?
posted by essexjan at 12:06 PM on September 4, 2007 [3 favorites]


"It was huge and L-shaped."

o rly?
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 12:12 PM on September 4, 2007


Cash is king.
posted by caddis at 12:13 PM on September 4, 2007


Our media are just *so* much better at covering this stuff than the US media is. Why can't your media bring us film clips from 'inside the orgy'?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 12:17 PM on September 4, 2007


Cash is so impersonal. I prefer semi-precious stones and amorphous chunks of metals of the weight-value equal to the services. Nothing says, "thanks for the back alley hummer" like a 20 pound lump of zink.
posted by Pollomacho at 12:20 PM on September 4, 2007


The blond one also said in the video (in her fantastic Yorkie accent) "then we had an orgy in the pool. It was fun, and I've never done anything like that before. It was fun... but I felt a bit degraded."

What a terrible hooker. Didn't she get paid? How is an orgy for money more degrading than just sex for money, assuming you're duly compensated? And don't they teach you not to repeat yourself at Hooker School?

I used to think that the UK's attitude towards prostitution was good because it often took violent pimps out of the sex industry. Now I see that is bad because someone should be hitting that hooker more.
posted by Mayor Curley at 12:22 PM on September 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Don't be a bad tipper:

"But she didn't feel as rich as one when she was counting the money at the end of the lust match. It was just £2,900—plus an extra £40 ontop for paying by credit card —for all five girls. That wouldn't cover a footballer's champagne bill in a nightclub."

"But unlike most other punters, Morgan said super-rich Rooney didn’t even leave her a tip.
She added: “For someone with so much money he was really tight. “I was hoping for a tip but he paid nothing extra.”

DO you know a scandal involving a sports star or celebrity? We pay top whack for top exclusives — so call our newsdesk on 020 7782 4105."

posted by iviken at 12:41 PM on September 4, 2007


LOLHOOKERS

Ronaldo is a total dil. You have to be when the media single you out as an asshole on an entire club of assholes. He was charged once with sexual assault (later dropped) and I picture him being dicey in the bedroom; look how bad he fucked Wayne Rooney.
posted by veronica sawyer at 12:41 PM on September 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW what "fag" means when British people say it. I KNOW!! It's a cigarette, right? A CIGARETTE! Not a homo!!! But it's fucking IMPOSSIBLE to read this article without imagining the whores blowing a bunch of queers in between fucking the football players.
posted by vito90 at 1:17 PM on September 4, 2007 [2 favorites]


Don't be a bad tipper:

What did the leper say to the hooker?

Keep the tip.
posted by Pollomacho at 1:18 PM on September 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


What a terrible hooker. Didn't she get paid?

When a woman dishing the dirt on some kind of sexual scandal appears in a British tabloid, you can be sure the words aren't her own. The writer is covering the bases so readers can pretend to be righteously indignant rather than just titillated.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 1:18 PM on September 4, 2007


And how many fags did they smoke?

Gee, that's, like, so totally awesome.
posted by i_cola at 1:26 PM on September 4, 2007


Britain has the most schizo attitude towards prostitution that I've seen anywhere in the world. (Even the US isn't quite as bad with legal whoring in Nevada.) Prostitution is everywhere in Britain but everyone still pretends to be shocked by it. Dates back to the Victorian era, when it was calculated that every sixth house in London was a house of prostitution.
posted by telstar at 2:10 PM on September 4, 2007


Best of the Weeb.
posted by CynicalKnight at 2:30 PM on September 4, 2007


Our media are just *so* much better at covering this stuff than the US media is. Why can't your media bring us film clips from 'inside the orgy'?

Because editors/producers here are all afraid of the phony "uproar" and "backlash" over airing anything of a sexual nature.

Our media would not even dare to use the word "orgy". They would call it "sexcapades" or something tame like that.
posted by wfc123 at 2:52 PM on September 4, 2007


“Yesterday suspended Ronaldo missed his side's 1-0 win. Nani and Anderson both played but were pulled off before the end.”

Heh.
posted by letourneau at 2:58 PM on September 4, 2007


Gee, that's, like, so totally awesome.

Two nations divided by a common tongue.
posted by Myeral at 2:59 PM on September 4, 2007


From the "still" link headline: "Coy's mistress"! Ha ha!
posted by ibmcginty at 4:00 PM on September 4, 2007


Prostitution is everywhere in Britain but everyone still pretends to be shocked by it.

We do? Perhaps you mean that certain of our newspapers pretend to be shocked, in order that they can relate, in a scandalised whisper, all the titillating details. Something I'm sure no newspapers anywhere else in the world do.
posted by Luddite at 4:11 PM on September 4, 2007


"...five escort girls who romped with Cristiano Ronaldo..."

They used romped in the very first sentence. That's classic British tabloid writing right there.
posted by normy at 7:45 PM on September 4, 2007


Waste of money
posted by cmacleod at 9:50 PM on September 4, 2007


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