Comments on: Can I say, "I know, but if I tell you I'll have to kill you"?

Can I say, "I know, but if I tell you I'll have to kill you"?

weapons-grade pandemonium — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 22:24:30 -0800

Mayor of Siberian town orders his bureaucrats to stop using expressions such as "I don't know", "I can't", "I'm having lunch", and "It's impossible". Not sure if "You have got to be fucking kidding me." or "What the fuck, man? are on his list.

By: Poolio

Poolio — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 22:26:54 -0800

He should be banished to Siberia. Oh, wait...

By: pompomtom

pompomtom — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 22:47:45 -0800

"Please hold" *click*

By: klangklangston

klangklangston — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:03:08 -0800

Yeah, well, if he really wanted to shake things up, he would have banned some Russian phrases too.

By: fandango_matt

fandango_matt — Tue, 04 Sep 2007 23:05:33 -0800

You know who else banned the phrase "I don't know"? That's right, I don't know.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:02:14 -0800

If he really wanted to shake things up he would ban "blyad", "khui", and derivatives. But then most of the Siberian male population would be rendered speechless.

By: lupus_yonderboy

lupus_yonderboy — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:03:46 -0800

Here's a link that works (even though this is a really pointless post...)

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:04:19 -0800

How about "You don't have permission to access /cp/Oddities/070904/K090417AU.html on this server." Was that banned?

By: bunglin jones

bunglin jones — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 00:34:41 -0800

He wants to ban bureauocrats from saying "I'm having lunch."? If they're at all worthy of the title "bureaucrat", they'll find a much more annyoing way to say the same thing. I don't know, something like: "I'm currently involved in the personal integration and energy-conversion of vendibles, thus facilitating an investigation of the consumer-vendor experience from an end-user perspective"

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 05:41:27 -0800

I Don't Know's ~~on third~~ in Siberia.

By: C.Batt

C.Batt — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:25:23 -0800

I bet George Bush's staff are busy in Siberia right now, recruiting fresh faces. I mean these guys would be perfect and you could pay them peanuts on the dollar! Say hello to Attorney General, Fedor Vasilyev.

By: weapons-grade pandemonium

weapons-grade pandemonium — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:47:37 -0800

lupus_yonderboy & tellurian: Why would you not have permission to access the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation?

By: gubo

gubo — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:07:15 -0800

I just came in here to say "the Mayor of Megion." The Mayor of Megion.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:38:40 -0800

"we're currently looking into that" "that doesn't seem to be operative at this time" "umph ap an gbak oo oo apper is fannige" "when hell freezes over and the devil goes ice skating" see? it's not that tough to come up with new phrases

By: parudox

parudox — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 12:57:44 -0800

If they're dealing with regular people (i.e. not their superiors), there will always be a way to signal that a bribe is needed to get the job done.

By: tellurian

tellurian — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 15:49:58 -0800

tellurian: Why would you not have permission to access the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation? Buggered if I know. Must be some sort of APEC lockdown ;-)

By: eritain

eritain — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 22:15:19 -0800

"I'm currently involved in the personal integration and energy-conversion of vendibles, thus facilitating an investigation of the consumer-vendor experience from an end-user perspective" That at least gives the complainer something to work with. "Я на обед" is just so final. Russians believe in обед like Americans believe in the First Amendment—guaranteed by law, tradition, and quite possibly God. (source) "Step away from the borsch and do one simple thing" is pretty much unthinkable.