Comments on: This story is about something called Radical Honesty. It may change your life. (But honestly, we don't really care.)

This story is about something called Radical Honesty. It may change your life. (But honestly, we don't really care.)

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:35:05 -0800

I appreciate you for reading this article. I resent you for snarking in the thread without reading it.

By: goodnewsfortheinsane

goodnewsfortheinsane — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:35:54 -0800

I feel it would be useless to comment in this thread without being radically honest.

By: delmoi

delmoi — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:37:58 -0800

Blanton pours himself another bourbon and water. He's got a wad of chewing tobacco in his cheek, and when he spits into the fireplace, the flames crackle louder. "My boss says you sound like a dick," I say. "Tell your boss he's a dick," he says. "I'm glad you picked your nose just now," I say. "Because it was funny and disgusting, and it'll make a good detail for the article." "That's fine. I'll pick my ass in a minute." Then he unleashes his deep Texan laugh: heh, heh, heh. (He also burps and farts throughout our conversation; he believes the one-cheek sneak is "a little deceitful.") No topic is off-limits. "I've slept with more than five hundred women and about a half dozen men," he tells me. "I've had a whole bunch of threesomes" -- one of which involved a hermaphrodite prostitute equipped with dual organs. What about animals? Blanton thinks for a minute. "I let my dog lick my dick once."

I don't want to hear all that, really.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:39:59 -0800

Delmoi posts too much.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:40:02 -0800

I liked this article better when it was Simpson's episode number 1F05.

By: item

item — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:42:35 -0800

DU once pissed me off in a thread so badly that I still associate his name with mud.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:45:01 -0800

Also, even if this were a good idea and were possible (i.e. which of two vacillating, ambivalent opinions is the "truth"?), it still wouldn't work. A liar in the land of radical honesty would be king.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:48:15 -0800

unfortunately, radical honesty would be wasted with people who weren't radically interesting and most of us aren't

By: biffa

biffa — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:50:31 -0800

What about the lies that make me feel better? Can I still tell them?

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:54:46 -0800

"If you're having fantasies about your wife's sister, Blanton says to tell your wife and tell her sister." Uh, do not do this. It just makes holidays awkward.

By: dubold

dubold — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:56:10 -0800

I think that radical honesty could be really good for people, but I'm not going to start today, since I'm working with a new client for the first time. And I'll probably think of another good reason for postponement tomorrow.

By: saulgoodman

saulgoodman — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 06:58:04 -0800

Once again, I felt the thrill of inappropriate candor. And I felt something else, too. The paradoxical joy of being free from choice. I had no choice but to tell the truth. I didn't have to rack my brain figuring out how to hedge it, spin it, massage it. The above caught my eye. I've been experimenting with radical honesty ever since a particularly bad drug experience a few years back, and it has its benefits and drawbacks. As liberating as it is--and it really is liberating, though it's not always a cakewalk--the hardest part is often figuring out when it is and isn't appropriate to volunteer information. Really, I guess mine's a modified version of radical honesty: occasionally keeping things to myself isn't off-limits, I just make a point of trying never to lie whenever I do give out information. That's not to say I have a perfect track record, but I still try. Also, even if this were a good idea and were possible (i.e. which of two vacillating, ambivalent opinions is the "truth"?), it still wouldn't work. A liar in the land of radical honesty would be king. Not true, because liars are pretty easy to spot, once you become better acquainted with the truth. Lies always eventually come unraveled anyway, because they require so much intentional effort to maintain. Truth is the path of least resistance.

By: dubold

dubold — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:00:50 -0800

Revealing your every motive just seems like justification for being a jerk, while gaining the moral high ground. "Well, it's the truth! how dare you get annoyed at my honesty!". perhaps a worthwhile change would be radical honesty with ourselves. keep the filter between brain and mouth, but admit to ourselves our motives for action.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:02:56 -0800

I got halfway through this article and came to the conclusion that the subject was a huckster and the author was a douche and then I quit reading.

By: Pastabagel

Pastabagel — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:03:17 -0800

Radical Honesty: Psychotherapists who have been married five times and live in the wilderness in houses they built themselves and who run workshops involving a day of total nudity should never have their opinions given any merit, should never be taken seriously, have hurt countless more people it is even theoretically possible for them to have helped, and should probably just do the world a favor and kill themselves.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:03:43 -0800

Lies always eventually come unraveled anyway... We saw how that played out in the impeachment and eventual war crimes trials of Bush and Cheney. But I was actually talking about smaller stuff. If everyone else is being radically honest and insulting someone and then I lie and say no, I don't think those shoes don't make you look fat, they are going to be putty in my hands.

By: jason's_planet

jason's_planet — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:03:51 -0800

Wonderful. Another excuse for grown men and women to act like toddlers. Just what this country needs.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:04:02 -0800

There's a difference between "lying all the time" and "not sharing every single thought that ever enters one's head."

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:04:04 -0800

I stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.

By: OmieWise

OmieWise — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:04:41 -0800

Seriously, the whole thing seems to misunderstand the premise of society.

By: No-sword

No-sword — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:04:45 -0800

Lies, truth-- an asshole is still an asshole.

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:05:26 -0800

I thought this was an interesting article, but I don't have anything interesting to say about it.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:06:08 -0800

I find your presentation a bit overtly gimmicky, and only clicked into the thread because we're friends. I opened the article to make sure I understood the joke, but did not read it.

By: pyramid termite

pyramid termite — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:06:20 -0800

I stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes. i buttered the mashed potatoes with butter from a herpes infected cow

By: languagehat

languagehat — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:06:52 -0800

Seriously, the whole thing seems to misunderstand the premise of society. Huh? It understands that lies are a basic premise of society, but it thinks society would be better off without them. Might be true, but we'll never know.

By: monju_bosatsu

monju_bosatsu — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:07:01 -0800

I didn't think the article was particularly interesting, and I think it might have been based on an episode of Seinfeld or some other similarly forgetful sitcom.

By: liquorice

liquorice — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:09:56 -0800

The idea is interesting but just a little too revolutionary for me. If I didn't lie I wouldn't be able to lead the life I wanted to!

By: slimepuppy

slimepuppy — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:10:38 -0800

I prefer the Dice Man. But pretty interesting. Childlike truth, asshole truth and honesty.

By: turaho

turaho — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:11:00 -0800

This article was really good! Great post! I'm not sure if I really understood it, though.

By: geminus

geminus — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:12:14 -0800

I walked away from that article chanting too long, didn't read; too long, didn't read. But I came into the thread to snark anyway. i buttered the mashed potatoes with butter from a herpes infected cow I can't believe that's butter.

By: MinPin

MinPin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:13:00 -0800

Radical honesty is impossible as long as people use sloppy or inaccurate language. Monju-bosatsu, it was your phrase 'similarly forgetful sitcom' which prompted this comment. While I have no reason to slight you, it would be dishonest of me to conceal my irritation at your confusion of 'forgetful' for 'forgetable'.

By: Jofus

Jofus — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:13:11 -0800

I just wee'd a little in my pants.

By: localroger

localroger — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:13:34 -0800

Metafilter: The thrill of inappropriate candor.

By: MinPin

MinPin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:15:03 -0800

MinPin can't spell 'forgettable'.

By: Meatbomb

Meatbomb — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:16:23 -0800

I enjoyed the article. Sometimes I do the radical honesty thing, it is one of the reasons people think I am an asshole.

By: billysumday

billysumday — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:16:28 -0800

After I post a comment that I think people will like, I keep hitting refresh to see if someone's favorited it.

By: vbfg

vbfg — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:16:57 -0800

I stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes. "Do the mashed potato" always confused me as a lyric. The scales have fallen from my eyes.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:18:10 -0800

I think (bearing in mind that I only got halfway through this article) that this philosophy is based on the idea that one's self is so important and valuable that it just has to be shared with everyone. The fact of the matter is that about 90% of the thoughts that I have everyday are pretty much worthless to anyone but myself and there is no need to share them. The idea that we are all special snowflakes with incredibly interesting and vibrant interior lives that just must be shared is bullshit. Here is my truth movement: you are a goddamn adult. You can decide for yourself when you should share something and when you shouldn't.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:18:27 -0800

Is there anything duller or more boorish than someone who tells the truth all the time? And, by "truth," I mean expresses whatever insipid, subjective, and highly creepy thought is currently prancing around at the very tippy top of their alcohol-soaked gray matter? There's a question we ask in journalism, which is, does the need to know outweigh the damage it might cause? Does the need to know outweight the violation of privacy it would cause? For the most part, my need to know is not outweighed by the fact that I, for the most part, don't care what some babbling prick thinks the truth is.

By: kittens for breakfast

kittens for breakfast — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:18:41 -0800

I enjoyed the article. Sometimes I do the radical honesty thing, it is one of the reasons people think I am an asshole. I think it's considerably more common for people to do the radical asshole thing and have it mistaken for honesty.

By: Abiezer

Abiezer — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:21:34 -0800

Honesty is impossible because the only truths in life are ineffable. There, I've said it.

By: rokusan

rokusan — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:23:16 -0800

I fell off my chair laughing about halfway through. Honestly. Radically. It's funny because it's true.

By: Brockles

Brockles — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:24:34 -0800

I think, like a lot of these radical ideas, that the basis of these is an irritation with a trend in society. Only fruitcakes have the courage to say it out loud but, being fruitcakes, take it too far and are easily attacked whilst ignoring the central premise. The trend that annoys me that struck a chord here is 'fake' people. They irritate the living shit out of me. The sort of people that always tell you what they want to here, or behave how they think you want them to, or never say anything because they are worried that you won't like them. They'll lie about themselves so as to not offend you. They'll modify and lie about their personality for an 'easy life'. They'll also worry while they do it way too much. People need backbone. People need to be themselves a bit more, and will (in my unhumble I'M FUCKING RIGHT opinion) be better people, and happier for it. People that worry about what other people think the whole time shouldn't have to be. The pussy footing method of societal interaction (that is epitomised, to me, by the 'little white lie' aspect of society) is something that we would well do without. So. In summary. Basic concept of being more honest? Good. People that know me already know how much I prescribe to that. Honesty at all costs? No. Too far the other way. If I had to be totally honest, no girl would ever sleep with me, as I am so bastard perfect I find fault with everyone. Dammit. And I want my bits and pieces to continue getting wet as much as the next man.

By: ob

ob — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:25:24 -0800

I thought the article was amusing. I think that the guy is obviously a shyster, but an amusing one and I have a begrudging admiration for him. Whilst quite a few people that I know think that I can be brutally honest in truth I'm too much of a wimp to practice this kind of honesty in everyday life.

By: Brockles

Brockles — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:27:28 -0800

The sort of people that always tell you what they want to here Damn this lack of an edit (allied with my total inability to proof read, even with a preview pane that a one eyed retard could spot) Should be 'The sort of people that always tell you what they think you want to hear'. Bah.

By: poppo

poppo — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:27:29 -0800

I skipped around until I understood what the article was about. Then I popped in here, looked at the first couple of comments to see if anyone had been honest about doing the same as I did, and skipped down here to this box and wrote this.

By: Mister_A

Mister_A — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:28:02 -0800

I like pie. A lot. Like, so much that I think about pie when I'm fucking my pets.

By: Postroad

Postroad — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:29:05 -0800

Dostoyevsky did this years ago, and in a much more interesting way, in his novel The Idiot.

By: micayetoca

micayetoca — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:29:58 -0800

The truth of our lives is increasingly being exposed, both voluntarily (MySpace pages, transparent business transactions) and involuntarily. So, Myspace, that website where old geezers pretend to be young Marines, housewives take the identity of their daughters to have online affairs and policemen pretend to be children sending nude pictures of themselves to catch predators is radically honest? C'mon. And, transparent business transactions? C'mon.

By: papercake

papercake — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:31:24 -0800

I liked this article better when it was Three's Company episode number 102.

By: srboisvert

srboisvert — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:34:28 -0800

What? You were all lying all this time? I feel like a fool.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:34:28 -0800

I can't smack my own ass and I didn't read the whole article cause there is just waaaay too much stuff on the net to read!

By: coachfortner

coachfortner — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:38:59 -0800

Another excuse for grown men and women to act like toddlers. Maybe that isn't too bad of an idea. At least with my step-children, they speak their mind. And the thrill, as Blanton describes it, comes from watching their minds formulate their view of this world. Or at least the world they are living in. Kindergarten can teach the rest of us a lot. Too bad we forgot what it was like to be a child once.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:41:16 -0800

"If you think it, say it." Funny, I often notice people who act this way, albeit unconsciously. Mostly packs of fifteen-year-olds on the subway and the occasional coworker. Is this so radical? Living without the burden of any unexpressed thoughts seems exhausting to me. The ability to lie out loud and to myself provides no end of rest and mercy in my life-- most of which made necessary from having to suffer so many loud obnoxious people. I LIKE having private mental space, and will lie my ass off to keep it, if that's what it takes.

By: dances_with_sneetches

dances_with_sneetches — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:41:48 -0800

I make semi-amusing comments in hopes people will favorite me thus giving me my only positive feedback for an otherwise pathetic life.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:42:38 -0800

People need to be themselves a bit more, and will (in my unhumble I'M FUCKING RIGHT opinion) be better people, and happier for it. People don't need to be themselves. That would be a disaster. They need to be the person that I tell them they should be. I should be able to tell everybody else their faults, but nobody better tell me anything about mine -- not that I have any, of course. And that 'how I make you feel' thing? Can it.

By: liquorice

liquorice — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:42:59 -0800

This isn't just about being honest though, this goes way beyond that. You can be honest and not say everything that pops into your head. Omitting the truth isn't lying, it's just keeping your damn mouth shut once in a while. Like, right now, I could tell you guys that I think most of you are a bunch of middle-aged farts who need favourites to feel validated and get off on feeling superior to the rest of the internets. But I won't because I'm nice.

By: Alvy Ampersand

Alvy Ampersand — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:44:00 -0800

Yeah, I got through the first paragraph before I got bored. Douchebags and assholes have been using "keepin' it real/tellin' it like it is" to justify their bigmouthed stupidity for decades. This hack isn't bringing anything new to the table, and like dubold said, the world'd be a better place if those twats were honest with themselves first and realized no one gives a shit. Also: Homer: Heh heh heh, from now on, I'm gonna be just like Krusty and tell it like it is. Marge, you're getting a little fat around the old thighs! Bart: Dad! Homer: You too, Bart! Marge: Oh, knock it off, Homer, you're the fattest one in the car! Homer: [shocked, hurt] You didn't have to tell it like it is, Marge!

By: desjardins

desjardins — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:44:38 -0800

The "Radical Honesty" movement as portrayed in the article smacks of a "look at me!" mentality, and I think society would be better served if people shut the fuck up once in awhile.

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:46:21 -0800

Kindergarten can teach the rest of us a lot. Too bad we forgot what it was like to be a child once. I completely agree with the exact opposite of this.

By: desjardins

desjardins — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:46:49 -0800

Like, right now, I could tell you guys that I think most of you are a bunch of middle-aged farts who need favourites to feel validated and get off on feeling superior to the rest of the internets. But I won't because I'm nice. I won't because it doesn't gain me anything.

By: prostyle

prostyle — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:47:11 -0800

Lame article, genuine "radical honesty" would see you incarcerated and charged with felonies - not a visit to yet another backwoods new age shill to talk about ass picking, as it were. Radical embodies such novelty as a framing device in this masturbatory exposition and little more. To paraphrase: 1. I desire uninterrupted positive sequences of events that support my lifestyle decisions. 1A. I desire the capacity to fuck everything possible without incurring terms defined in the next section. 2. I desire to avoid negative events or repercussions related to any of my actions. That's far from a "radical" thought process, even for a goddamn caveman.

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:47:38 -0800

This is crap for the following reasons: 1. RH gives people power over you. They can demand your more private details and openly insult you. It will easily be turned into a game with the socially savvy having free reign over everyone else except those they target will not have any defenses. 2. Politeness and lies keep conflict down. 3. RH happens all the time, usually by drunks, with typical results. 4. Even the father of RH is too much of a coward to pay his taxes to speak truth to power. He cannot use RH to authority figures in the government but compels us to use it on the authority figures in our lives. Coward and a hypocrite. 5. Getting things off your chest is nice, but there's a real vanity to candor. RH might be, as the author guessed, just a clever mating tactic and scam. 6. There's a real difference between lies and privacy. Not to mention blurting out random things like we're robots pretending to be human. "I LIFE ORANGES AND WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SISTER. BEEP BEEP." To be fair, its an interesting social experiment and opens ones eyes to what its like living in a human society, but as a cure-all and as a new mode of communication, its pretty lacking.

By: psmealey

psmealey — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:50:54 -0800

If RH were to take root and be thoroughly enforced, I believe that both the murder rate and prison populations would skyrocket for several years, and we'd eventually be left with a society composed of nothing but Ned Flanderses. Sounds like a vision of hell to me. And by the way, your ass does look fat in those pants.

By: Cat Pie Hurts

Cat Pie Hurts — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:56:42 -0800

I liked this article better when it was City of Truth.

By: cortex

cortex — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 07:59:38 -0800

I believe that both the murder rate and prison populations would skyrocket for several years I'd like to think (to paraphrase some comment re: telepathy that I can no longer source) that we'd see an uptick of bloody noses and then everyone would grow a thicker skin and we'd be back at equilibrium pretty quickly.

By: goatdog

goatdog — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:01:03 -0800

I really hate when people comment with only one sentence per paragraph, or maybe two short ones. It's monopolizing the space in the thread; very seldom is what you have to say worth more than one paragraph. I think you're doing it because you're just either (1) trying to be dramatic, (2) assuming that we can't understand your point if you don't put blue space between the sentences so we can think hard about them, or (3) a high school journalism student. Also, I went back on preview and deleted three curse words to tone down my rhetoric. I don't want anyone to get mad at me, or at least not anyone whose opinion I care about. Does my ass make me look fat?

By: eurasian

eurasian — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:02:00 -0800

Didn't the Thermians already try this idea, with DISASTEROUS results?! A few random notes: "Honesty without compassion is cruelty" - some smart guy who I can't be bothered to google ATM. This man is an expert on how to maintain marriages that have all the longevity of a house fly.

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:02:08 -0800

A few thoughts: 1) I have no problem with people who are honest with their opinions when I ask for their opinions, or when I have direct interactions with them. Bein radically honest with strangers for no reason is just being a jerk. 2) I've met people who strive to be like this guy, and the thing is, they get off on saying things that other people normally wouldn't. It starts to snowball, and pretty soon they're self-censoring anything that sounds half-way normal: everything out of their mouth has to be a soundbite: "This coffee tastes like SHIT!" No, no it really doesn't. It's just weak coffee. You're exaggerating again, because you think people expect it, or you like doing it.

By: eurasian

eurasian — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:03:33 -0800

Also, may I note, for the sake of Radical Honesty, that I'm exactly the type of person Brockles described. Basically Wormtongue without the bad hair. I feel so liberated!

By: TedW

TedW — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:04:06 -0800

I liked this article better when it was a crappy Jim Carrey movie. And by the way, your ass does look fat in those pants. "Honey, do these pants make me look fat?" "No your big butt makes you look fat" I think I will pass on the radical honesty thing.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:04:37 -0800

I found the article enjoyable. I liked the writer's style. I found the subject amusing but also somewhat thought provoking. I have been living a "lite" version of this philosophy practically my entire adult life. Close to what some of you above are saying: being honest, but muting some of the stream of consciousness stuff. But not a lot. Basically, I believe in being honest all of the time, but not purposefully offensive or hurtful. Responding to someone's question about their clothes with "No, I really don't like that blouse" is perfectly honest, but it doesn't require "That blouse makes you look like a prostitute catering to migrant farm workers". One is honest and possibly helpful, the other is being an asshole and needlessly hurtful. I think that's what many of you in this thread are confusing... you can be honest without, necessarily, being an asshole. Sentiment and intent goes a very, very long way. I have someone at least once a week tell me I am the most open and honest person they've ever known. That makes me proud, probably more proud than it should, and encourages me to continue to be open and honest. People who like it tend to gravitate towards me, and I form real relationships with those people. People who are gladhanders and fakes, they can't stand open honesty like that, they scatter like cockroaches from the kitchen light, and, thankfully, I don't have to interact with them much. And to answer the question looming, yes, I am this way at work as well. It has resulted in me becoming chief executive at the last two companies I have worked for. And I don't feel guilty writing this at work, considering I am just now eating my now cold breakfast at my desk, will probably not take lunch, and I will be here till about 7pm tonight. I give much more than I get to the company, even though I am only accountable to a board that meets infrequently and whose members have virtually no idea of what I do. And yet I still overwork and over-personally-invest. And I don't really know why, as it runs completely counter to my advice to most other people.

By: bullitt 5

bullitt 5 — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:05:13 -0800

Seems refreshing to me. His bit about the alienation of modern life seemed to hit home. What good is company if it doesn't seem true? I agree with comments above that RH wouldn't mean license to speak every thought that comes to mind, but disagree with the opinion that RH gives other people power over you, by forcing you to disclose. Couldn't you simply say: "I don't want to tell you that?" Again, the alienation piece, this sense that it's not possible to really get to know people, because they aren't being honest with you (or really, themselves). Honesty with self would be a start, but it's hard to live with that tension, if you aren't allowing honesty with others. Dishonesty feels like an enabler for our own low views of self. "If I told the truth, no one would want to be with/sleep with me." It seems more likely that truth telling would mean some/many people wouldn't want to be with me, but certain people would love being with me. And isn't that what we want anyways?

By: damn dirty ape

damn dirty ape — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:05:44 -0800

Lastly, this is about as anti-intellectual as you can get. Essentially youre telling people to let their id be in control. RH happens all the time, we usually call it right-wing AM radio. "We gotta do something about those thieving (insert minority here)." "I'm angry and we should drop some bombs on them." "We should lock up the fags, jews, protestants, etc etc" "Burning the flag should be a capital crime!" Imagine those voices times 300 million. Think they'll sit and listen your your logic and context? RH would create a society of angry little children expressing their basest desires. Not a superhuman truth telling contest. The government buildings would burn first then the universities.

By: Astro Zombie

Astro Zombie — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:06:21 -0800

"That blouse makes you look like a prostitute catering to migrant farm workers". Am I the only one that think this sounds super hot?

By: ND¢

ND¢ — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:08:41 -0800

I just pictured someone with a fruit hat, like Carmen Miranda. [PROBABLY RACIST].

By: psmealey

psmealey — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:08:42 -0800

I really hate when people comment with only one sentence per paragraph, or maybe two short ones. I really hate when people comment on other people's commenting styles. It suggests a limited intellect. Or small penis.

By: chimaera

chimaera — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:09:55 -0800

In the land of the Radical Truth Tellers, the man who can lie and keep secrets is King.

By: felix betachat

felix betachat — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:10:30 -0800

I read the article very carefully because it was interesting and funny. I pretty much just skimmed the comments in this thread.

By: Armitage Shanks

Armitage Shanks — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:15:40 -0800

I liked this article better when it was a minor subplot in a forgotten novel by an obscure nineteenth-century European author whose name you pretend to find familiar but in fact you've never heard before.

By: Space Coyote

Space Coyote — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:15:41 -0800

Everyone who's ever done mushrooms has come up with the exact same theory.

By: Skorgu

Skorgu — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:15:52 -0800

I read the whole thing, becoming increasingly convinced that both the author and the subject were tiresome in doses longer than about three sentences. I then felt rather smug that my two-line philosophy on human interaction is far superior, even if I'm too much of a pussy to follow it all the time. 1) Shut the fuck up, nobody cares. 2) If it's important, fucking say it. I hate, hate, did I mention hate? hate the smarmy political passive voice "mistakes were made" cockshite that infests most interactions. Tell me I'm an asshole who screwed up, I'll fix it and we can all move on. But no, instead we have to go six hours in three meetings without anyone actually saying what's going on because someone might be fucking offended.

By: coachfortner

coachfortner — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:15:54 -0800

L’Étranger by Albert Camus This whole line of comments and my life in particular is absurd.

By: kigpig

kigpig — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:18:30 -0800

thanks for the post. I've been trying for years to convince people to be honest at least on occasion and have been able to draw out quite a few things that I thought a lot of people believed but would never say. But in the end it always stops once they return to dealing with others. Myself I take a stance from somewhere in the article that I don't feel like going back and finding (something about Anne Frank and Nazis and stuff)...I'm honest up to the point where it threatens my or someone else's safety or freedom. And I think if I ever was in one of those situations where, say a child was dying and asked if there was a God, I'd probably lie there too since nothing positive comes of telling the truth. But I pull no punches when it comes to cracking down on offending people. One part I didn't see if it said he proposed or not but I expect is not part of his ideal, once you've started being honest, next you should learn to fix the characteristics and opinions in yourself that are wrong instead of just stopping at admitting them. Seems obvious but I get this notion it's not there.

By: Brainy

Brainy — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:22:34 -0800

At an impressionable age, my first girlfriend gave me a copy of The Fountainhead and spouted the same type of stuff. She dumped me and I kinda took up her point-of-view because it seemed to be the most well thought out one I'd ever known. If you've ever argued with an objectivist, it's tough. I submitted slowly, but I did. It was so rational, I couldn't see how to deny it. It's taken me years to clean that from my system. A few weeks ago she was on the phone with me talking about how her relationship was going bad. "He hurt my feelings when he was siding with the other person in this story I was telling. I was feeling vulnerable. I resented him a bit for that" was a close neighbor with "Well, I said what I said, if he got hurt that's his fault. He shouldn't be so sensitive. I was being honest." I made her go back and forth from Comment One to Comment Two until she realized that total honesty creates a situation where everybody has to be on their guard at all times, lest an insulting comment come their way. And that a life time of living this way has lead to isolation and lack of connection. That being honest isn't about being strong, it's about being weak. So weak you can't even care about somebody else. So weak you can't even throw your figurative self on the figurative grenade that is your dislike of their new haircut. She gasped, because it was so obvious and she had been so oblivious. To be honest, it felt like a victory I'd been waiting for for years.

By: nicolin

nicolin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:23:59 -0800

Radical Honesty is a praxis. It doesn't have a value in itself (a mental disorder could cause such honesty). Radical Honesty just gets rid of any moral debate with a rule. But everytime that someone ponders whether he/she should tell the truth, that person must consider what value is linked with the act about to be done : telling the truth or lying. Which one is linked to the highest value in a given situation ? Nobody needs a recipe to know when to lie or to tell the truth. That's what morality is about.

By: Brainy

Brainy — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:24:27 -0800

Also, the reason over-the-top truth telling probably gets women into bed is some combination of flattery and confidence/bravado. You know, in case that wasn't totally obvious.

By: Ynoxas

Ynoxas — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:27:12 -0800

I really hate when people comment with only one sentence per paragraph, or maybe two short ones. I really hate when people comment on other people's commenting styles. It suggests a limited intellect. Or small penis. I hate when people bitch about "taking up too much space" in a medium that is both essentially free and infinite. I also suspend this belief when it comes to Ethereal Bligh, since that guy could talk (type) the smile off of a crocodile. I sometimes think he's being paid by the word. I also hate when people assign every grievance to having a small penis. My penis is on the small side, yet I have no difficulty sleeping repeatedly with most other guys' wives. Wanna know who is radically honest? A cheating wife... she will tell you things about her fucktard husband that make you absolutely cringe. I also have lied somewhere in this post, but I get more utility from letting it go unknown than explicitly saying where.

By: Sparx

Sparx — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:29:00 -0800

Kindergarten can teach the rest of us a lot. Everything worthwhile I learned in Kindergarten. That's why I am now a professional finger-painter. This one's a moo-cow.

By: ninjew

ninjew — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:33:40 -0800

So, in summation, Get Off My Lawn.

By: saulgoodman

saulgoodman — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:36:35 -0800

6. There's a real difference between lies and privacy. Not to mention blurting out random things like we're robots pretending to be human. "I LIFE ORANGES AND WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOUR SISTER. BEEP BEEP." To me, this gets right to the heart of it. Keeping things to oneself is not inherently dishonest, as no one is in anyway obligated (unless by virtue of playing a particular role in society with special obligations) to divulge everything they might think or do. However, I've found that only offering honest information (to the best of my ability) whenever I do choose to offer information has been a huge psychological relief. It's also allowed me to see first hand the corrupting effects of even petty dishonesty. Lies always eventually come unraveled anyway... We saw how that played out in the impeachment and eventual war crimes trials of Bush and Cheney. Impeachment and war crimes trials, while nice, would ultimately just be another layer of human artifice, a largely formal gesture. The reality of the sociological and historical consequences of Bush and Cheney's lies can't be evaded. There will be a hell of a lot more political turmoil, bloodshed and social unrest over the coming years as a direct consequence of their lies. I didn't say that the truth necessarily imposes some kind of cosmic justice on liars, just that the lies always come unraveled. There are adepts who know how to lie and forestall or avoid the personal consequences of those lies. But they're the exception. And they have to work their lying asses off to do it. So why not just keep things simple in the first place? For example, if you lie and tell your girlfriend you still love her to spare her feelings, eventually, you'll hurt her feelings at least as much or more as the resentment you feel toward her grows over time, so you haven't really accomplished anything by lying other than to postpone the reality (okay, maybe you manage to get laid a couple more times, too). Liars hinder our ability to correctly apprehend reality, essentially denying us the freedom to act according to our own best interests; and since reality can be dangerous, even fatal, if incorrectly apprehended, liars do us all harm. Not to mention, when lying becomes too commonplace, cracks start to open in the foundation of trust needed to maintain a functioning, sustainable society and paranoia becomes rampant.

By: craniac

craniac — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:41:06 -0800

There's something sociopathic about this, and manipulative, but I can't put my finger on it.

By: lodurr

lodurr — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:43:33 -0800

There are adepts who know how to lie and forestall or avoid the personal consequences of those lies. But they're the exception. But it's an easy skill to learn. And it's a skill that's massively valorized in our culture. And there don't need to be all that many of them to really make life hell for the rest of us. The problem with RH is that it's so easily subverted by liars. Think about it: If everyone is supposedly RH, then anyone who lies has an instant and substantial advantage in any contest of wits. They just have to know how to use it. Anyway, I've never met anyone that I thought was an honest practitioner of RH. They all seemed to me to be narcissists who enjoyed justifying their self-obsession by claiming it was normal. Brainy's comparison to Objectivism is very apt in that regard.

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:45:40 -0800

People that know me already know how much I prescribe to that. Um, Mr. Bastard Perfect, sir? I think you mean 'subscribe' there. I'm just sayin'.

By: Paddle to Sea

Paddle to Sea — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:45:46 -0800

I really liked Blanton's first book. "Today's liberating insight is tomorrow's prison of bullshit." I even went to his one-day workshop when he strolled into town, years ago. Less cultish than your average real-estate seminar, apart from one session of what seemed like group hypnosis. (He likes Werner Erhard.) There was, of course, some urging near the end to go to the next, longer, and pricier workshop, but not a hard sell. That came later, when his second book came out, and he urged everyone on the mailing list to go out and buy multiple copies of it so the bookstores would mistake it for a best-seller. That seemed to me.. I dunno, duplicitous? Less than honest? It's hard to deny that having to keep one eye on your cover story all the time is exhausting, but I'm not sure it's the primary source of all human misery, as Blanton claims, or that he's really figured a way out. I'd put him in the category of "sincere charlatan": peddling a brand of bullshit that does actually help some people. Maybe the only really remarkable thing about him is that he doesn't live and work in California.

By: true

true — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:46:51 -0800

One of my friends instituted a policy at their office where they would only laugh at things that were actually funny. No polite laughter. It lasted about a day.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:48:05 -0800

I don't know why, but when I pictured Blanton in my mind, I kept seeing him as Hunter S. Thompson. Anybody else?

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:51:46 -0800

I am totally, way-the-fuck-out of my intellectual league on metafilter, but I like to come here to pat people much smarter than me, who share my views, on the back.

By: nicolas léonard sadi carnot

nicolas léonard sadi carnot — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:52:00 -0800

Wow, I'm almost the complete opposite of this. My public identity is basically a web of lies. I don't think there's anyone in my life whose knowledge of me is more than sixty to seventy percent based on the truth. It's quite lonely.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:57:40 -0800

I write short but have a fattie!

By: Mcable

Mcable — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 08:57:50 -0800

I farted while reading this thread looking for fart jokes.

By: tehloki

tehloki — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:00:45 -0800

I also really, really wish I could favorite Mcable up there, but, you know.

By: Brockles

Brockles — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:02:53 -0800

Um, Mr. Bastard Perfect, sir? I think you mean 'subscribe' there. I'm just sayin'. Not really. It still works. Just makes me a touch more dictatorial. Which is fine by me. prescribe (GIVE RULE) Show phonetics verb [T] FORMAL to tell someone what they must have or do; to give something as a rule: Penalties for not paying taxes are prescribed by law. [+ that] The law prescribes that all children must go to school. [+ question word] Grammatical rules prescribe how words may be used together. That was a lucky escape, eh? Imagine if I'd fucked up and said 'imbibe' or something. Then I'd be royally screwed and no mistake. So I'm still perfect then. Good-oh. /oblivious to any faults that he can't wriggle out of

By: biffa

biffa — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:03:35 -0800

"We gotta do something about those thieving (insert minority here)." "I'm angry and we should drop some bombs on them." "We should lock up the fags, jews, protestants, etc etc" "Burning the flag should be a capital crime!" Aren't you confusing honesty with over-simplification here?

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:06:53 -0800

You're highly reactive, you're combustible, and your electrons are unpaired. On the other hand, your homolytic cleavage is mesmerizing.

By: jasper411

jasper411 — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:06:59 -0800

I read the article and then tried to think of something funny to say when commenting. I considered saying that I was pinching my nipples, but then rejected it because, after all, I wasn't pinching my nipples.

By: kozad

kozad — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:09:09 -0800

I would like to have tea and bourbon with Ms. Manners and Mr. Blanton.

By: sfenders

sfenders — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:10:09 -0800

Most people cannot possibly both be honest and say whatever's on their mind all the time, since so many of their thoughts are not honest. To thine own self be true.

By: misha

misha — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:11:11 -0800

I liked the writer's style and the first paragraph, as well as the section where he describes not liking to leave the house. I empathized with that. I have no intention of being radically honest because I think the word "radical" is there as a pretense to allow people to be total asshats and then use, "Hey, I'm just being honest!" as an excuse. I am almost certain that someone on Metafilter will come along and once again question my intelligence because he or she disagrees with what I have just written, and even if I think that person is a complete moron, I will feel worse about myself afterward.

By: pywacket

pywacket — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:15:04 -0800

A small derail: Kindergarten can teach the rest of us a lot. That isn't kindergarten anymore, that's preschool. My daughter started kindergarten and the whole pecking order thing starts in kindergarten now, it's making me sick. I just kept wondering about kindness. It isn't necessary to lie to be kind. (most of the time) You just choose carefully what you say (not your ass looks fat in those pants, but maybe chartreuse stovepipe trousers with raspberry horizontal stripes are really hard to pull off). And truly my husband tells me after a particularly intense discussion "I am out of words." Doesn't bother me, he has fewer of them than I do in general. Doesn't mean he doesn't find what I'm saying important, just that he can't listen anymore, his head is full. Blanton is gratuitously harsh. It's unnecessary. I much prefer Emily Post. I would rather care for other's feelings first. You can have integrity AND be kind.

By: milarepa

milarepa — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:16:01 -0800

Just keep your mouth shut most of the time. Problem solved.

By: ranchocalamari

ranchocalamari — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:16:24 -0800

This sort of reminds me of Ayn Rand's philosophy of Objectivism, or has someone already mentioned that? We could all use a dose of this from time to time but a straight diet would be as soul killing as constantly lying.

By: kigpig

kigpig — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:19:11 -0800

damn dirty ape: You're claiming that right wing radio opinions are people telling the truth which I can't prove but based on their web of lies about studies and facts I sincerely doubt. However, undoubtedly a lot of them have horrific beliefs. I think if they were forced to defend why they have them by other truth tellers they'd be quickly shot down. If they continued to hold them they would be ignored. the liars: note that next time you argue with someone here, all they need to do is point back at this thread as evidence that you are implicating yourself as a liar and your remarks can be summarily dismissed as probable lies. Not that I suspect liars care about this sort of thing. no one in particular: It is functionally impossible to say everything on our mind due to finite time considerations so if that is what this guy is after he's an idiot. I grant that he could just be an idiot, but giving the benefit of the doubt that he's not, there's clearly a censor of what is important to say. I suspect based on the suggestions that it revolves around the things that we prevent ourselves from saying since we feel it will make others feel bad or will not benefit us. There's a few problems with refraining from saying these. One, take that heading "I think you're fat". Well clearly there's a different problem here. Thinking someone is fat doesn't have any inherent value judgment. But in reality they will probably be treated to some degree worse than others, they will be less likely to find mates, they will be invited to less social engagements. Now there's bad people who will admit this and still treat them worse anyway. But these people already have little problem saying "I think you're fat". It's the rest of the assholes who deny that they judge people because of their looks that will claim righteousness while partaking in the very problem. So for instance I can admit, I don't find overweight people attractive. Yet I can realize a lot of others don't too and a moral response is to deliberately go out of my way to bias my interactions against this.

By: cowbellemoo

cowbellemoo — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:19:24 -0800

I love metafilter dearly and it has inspired me to knit gifts for my friends. I have fears that my head is too big and misshapen to knit myself any hats, though. [sigh] There. I said it.

By: quonsar

quonsar — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:20:29 -0800

i have a fish. in my pants. i once let Ynoxas lick it.

By: brina

brina — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:21:49 -0800

I read the article and I liked it, but I'm annoyed that the whole sentence was a hyperlink. Whole-sentence hyperlinks are unattractive. And I still think that single links do not make for the best FPPs, even though this one is better than many multi-link FPPs. Also, I read about five of the comments on this thread, then decided I didn't care what any of you had to say. I just came in here to talk a bunch of nonsense. I have more to say, but it's wisest to keep your mouth shut sometimes -- see, not lying, just not saying anything -- and besides, none of you lot would listen anyway.

By: mcsweetie

mcsweetie — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:23:55 -0800

you can see more Blanton in episode 5 of season 1 of This American Life. while you're at it, watch the rest of the season because it's such a phenomenally great show.

By: doctorschlock

doctorschlock — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:24:00 -0800

I too want to be in this loooong thread, but alas I have nothing really really important to say, or anything of relevance, so I'll hum the rest...Tra la la la (no that's singing) Hmmmmmmmmmm!

By: biffa

biffa — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:24:56 -0800

I'm not convinced that not saying something is actually honest; a sin of omission rather than commission.

By: ikebowen

ikebowen — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:28:02 -0800

I read the article. In its entirety, waiting for it to show something unpredictable (my bad). But (heh) got bored halfway through the comment thread.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:30:01 -0800

I was once on a date with someone I really liked. Really liked. The first time I met him, he was drunk in a jazz bar. Very drunk. I ignored him that night, but I looked past it and agreed to date him later, because I could see he would be a decent guy when sober. Which he really was. What attracted me was his honesty. One night, we're canoodling and laughing about how drunk he was when we met, that he was just out of his mind. I was teasing him about it and about how I was trying to avoid him that night because he kept saying inappropriate things and was clearly completely plastered. Then he said, "I know. You know why? You know what I thought?" I said no. He said, "I thought you were a prostitute." Yeah, so that took the fun edge off of the date in record time. There's a difference between being honest and rudeness. Honesty shouldn't mean you throw manners aside & that other people's opinions of you don't matter. He kept saying, "Oh, jesus. I shouldn't have told you that. Man, people just shouldn't be honest. I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me." But it really broke my opinion of him & my comfort with him when he said that, because it made him seem really skeezy to me. I love honesty when it serves a purpose to open up communication with others. But to just use it as an excuse to be able to get away with saying rude shit to other people without them being allowed to get mad? That's wrong. And yes, I charged him $300 for the date. (I knew someone was going to go there so I'm nipping it in the bud.)

By: humannaire

humannaire — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:32:51 -0800

I'm better known than I let on. In a perfect world, I'd have regular sexual relations with other men. Pussy makes me feel even more like a superhero than I already do. (Can I say pussy here? Well, whatever it is that you call what I call pussy then. Because whatever it is, it's so great that everytime I happen upon some, it's as if I re-discovered God and quantum physics and Saturday morning television and rap music and good white chocolate candy combined.) The Deej is funnier - like by far - than anyone else here on MeFi [though what Armitage Shanks said after what delmoi said had me crying...] but he's probably not as fastforward in real life, and he's compensating, but I hope I'm wrong.

By: davejay

davejay — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:35:18 -0800

I learned that being honest (not volunteering TMI, just basic fundamental honesty) is the best way to go about things back in grammar school. Is this really so groundbreaking -- or more importantly, is honesty really so rare? I've often looked at it like corporations look at sustainability; you could claim you're doing it for altruistic reasons, but nobody would believe you anyway. You're doing it to (a) make money, and (b) make sure you still have a market for your product and the materials to make your product down the road. Similarly, I don't tell the truth because I'm a saint; I do it because (a) it's much easier than trying to remember the lies you've told, and (b) I've always been rewarded for it, because my underlying motives are generally good. Of course, this could all be a lie -- you Skeptical McUntrustingsons must figure that out on your own.

By: davejay

davejay — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:37:03 -0800

Skeptic McDontBelieve?

By: Pufferish

Pufferish — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:38:03 -0800

I don't think I'd like hanging around folks who practice Radical Honesty... but they can invite me to their poker night anytime.

By: pineapple

pineapple — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:39:37 -0800

PlayedOut McMemeIsDead? since we're being radically honest and all

By: Haruspex

Haruspex — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:40:05 -0800

...The crude commercialism of America, its materialising spirit, its indifference to the poetical side of things, and its lack of imagination and of high unattainable ideals, are entirely due to that country having adopted for its national hero a man who, according to his own confession, was incapable of telling a lie, and it is not too much to say that the story of George Washington and the cherry-tree has done more harm, and in a shorter space of time, than any other moral tale in the whole of literature. — The inimitable Oscar, of course. Honesty is not synonymous with truth.

By: ikkyu2

ikkyu2 — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:41:14 -0800

I feel it would be useless to comment in this thread without being radically honest. I appreciate your posting this article. Most of the posts on MeFi are crap I don't want to read, and those are the good ones; the others are crap I don't want to WATCH. I resent people who throw fifteen youtube links at me and don't tell me why I should watch an hour of TV, something I'd be unlikely to do otherwise. The more I manage to live my life like this guy Blanton, the happier I become. The best part of it is that when people really get to understand what I like and what I dislike, they'll go out of their way to avoid putting me in a situation where my honesty about the situation would make me be rude. Not only am I happier, but people help me have less reason to be rude. Everyone wins. Miss Lynnster, why does a guy telling you he thought you were a prostitute make him skeezy? Is it because you detest prostitutes so much that you wouldn't want to go on a date with a man who'd indulge in naughty banter with a prostitute? Is it because he essentially admitted he was thinking about having sex with you from the first moment he met you? Or was it something else?

By: camcgee

camcgee — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:44:14 -0800

LUKE You told me Vader betrayed and murdered my father. BEN You father was seduced by the dark side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and became Darth Vader. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I have told you was true... from a certain point of view. LUKE (turning away, derisive) A certain point of view!

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:44:39 -0800

And yes, I charged him $300 for the date. Whore! Whore!! Wow, this IS fun.

By: Oyéah

Oyéah — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:47:15 -0800

The biggest lies are the ones we tell ourselves. Radical honesty begins between the ears. The problem with the premise, is that if most of us lie to ourselves, then we just expect everyone else that we keep close, to go along with our internal lies. In short you almost have to really like lying and storytelling, to like people at all. In fact most of us are living some sort of metaphor, that as a mass movement has nearly destroyed all life on the planet. The big lies are killing us. I did realize at some point in my life, long ago that I don't like math. I have an inner program, that runs and examines all incoming data. Long ago, I realized that I am not good at conscious math, and telling lies, means I have to run an entire second program, for everyone I know that keeps the info straight regarding what is real, what is pretense, etc. I learned that I don't have to make comment, on everything that goes on in my head, and I don't have to misrepresent myself to anyone, especially if I didn't make comment in the first place. One of the most entertaining feats of living is watching what other people do, and almost commenting, but not. Then I can watch things unfold. The scene is definitely not me, I can learn what my misconceptions are on a moment to moment basis, depending on what others choose to project, or do. If someone wants to be a close friend of mine, or is stuck with being family, then I practice soft, but radical honesty without fail, because any thing else, is just too much work. I hardly socialize, certainly not on the basis of socializing because I need to be around people. I have very few friends, but there have been a lot of people that felt I was their friend, since honesty seems to be a rarity, shared in some, lucky, close contacts.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:49:02 -0800

Miss Lynnster, why does a guy telling you he thought you were a prostitute make him skeezy? You have to ask why this might bother a lady? C'mon, women are mysterious, but they're not THAT mysterious.

By: It's Raining Florence Henderson

It's Raining Florence Henderson — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:49:58 -0800

You can't handle the truth!

By: ThePinkSuperhero

ThePinkSuperhero — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:50:14 -0800

Radical honesty? The article is dumb and I bet deep down, that Brad Blanton guy is horribly lonely.

By: Kwine

Kwine — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:53:22 -0800

As I read these comments, I clicked random play on my iTunes and The Best Imitation of Myself by Ben Folds Five came on first. Now I am creeped out.

By: TheOnlyCoolTim

TheOnlyCoolTim — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:55:09 -0800

I took up the whole no lies (except for very occasional failures on my part, usually about embarrassing things) but not sharing everything several years ago, and it didn't even require any mushrooms. An interesting thing I saw once was a friend frankly telling this girl we hung out with all the time that he thought she was deceitful, overly selfish, unpleasant to be around, etc. (I tended to agree, but kept my mouth shut.) and over time after that she actually improved herself. The funniest part is when I say something someone thinks is an outrageous bluff and they try to call me on it, but I never bluff outside of the appropriate games, and so whoever tried to call my "bluff" ends up, and this word best succinctly conveys what happens, pwned. It's interesting to contrast this with the lies our society is built in; that is, all day long I see advertisements which are almost wholly composed of lies and manipulation, and then the government tells me more blatant lies. Which reminds me, the part about no lies only applies to people, just like in the article. Corporations, governments, and similar entities are more like bacteria with people for organelles, and fuck 'em.

By: hermitosis

hermitosis — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:57:46 -0800

Radical honesty? The article is dumb and I bet deep down, that Brad Blanton guy is horribly lonely. No joke. Essentially inventing your own very difficult style of communicating and then expecting others to join you in it is, in itself, a pretty transparent demonstration of your psychological problems.

By: gompa

gompa — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 09:59:36 -0800

I fell off my chair laughing about halfway through. Honestly. Radically. It's funny because it's true. posted by rokusan at 8:23 AM on September 5 [+] [!] I don't believe rokusan fell out of his chair from the intensity of his or her laughter. Actually. Physically. But I don't really care. I've long thought honesty is a highly overrated virtue, particularly in comparison to discretion (which is a kind of compassion, in my view). Or, put another way, it's very often the case that when someone says they're "just being honest," they're actually being needlessly, self-indulgently cruel.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:00:06 -0800

I read the article, found the idea stupid and tiresome, then I came to this thread, read through it, favorited several comments that I agreed with, and now I'm typing this. As I reread it, I realize that it really isn't a quality enough comment to have anyone favorite it, but in a little while I'll probably make some one line snark that will be cute enough to get some notice. My main complaint with the article is that it seems to encourage people to say whatever shit is going through their heads, as that is the only way to be truly honest. And I just can't stand the idea of that much noise, truthy or no.

By: facetious

facetious — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:00:51 -0800

The dude is confusing having boundaries with being dishonest. There's a big difference between controlling what you say to other people because you find it in your personal interest to do so, and repressing yourself because you feel weak, ashamed, or overpowered. The armchair psychologist in me thinks this dude is trying to (over)compensate for feeling inferior and controlled by using "honesty" as a weapon.

By: lodurr

lodurr — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:06:16 -0800

kigpig:

damn dirty ape: You're claiming that right wing radio opinions are people telling the truth ....

I quote this because it points out something interesting about "Radical Honesty" that hasn't been stressed so far in this thread: It's a lie. Fundamentally. As in, it's more or less impossible. And furthermore, my "truth" -- my "radical expression of honesty" -- has absolutely no necessary relationship with anybody else's. (Well, except for stuff to do with physical reality. I'm not that much of a solipsist.) This is not a question of will or ethics or being honest with or true to onesself. It's a question of what you can know, and what you can't. As in, it's really unlikely that you even understand all your reasons for doing (or thinking or saying) something, quite apart from whether you can express them clearly. Those AM radio wankers that damn ditry ape was talking about thought they were being Radical.y Honest. They thought they were Speaking Truth on the radio. From our perspective, they may well be idiots, totally wrong, completely mistaken about everythign that matters. If we're honest, and they're honest, what have we got? We've got a bunch of people who don't think that one another can be trusted, or ought to be abetted in any way. Someone remarked that this idea, "radical honesty", is based on a fundamental misunderstanding of the purpose of society. That bears repeating. because in this narcissistic, libertarian-obsessed millieu, it's very easy to convince yourself that society exists merely to put individuals down. As an evolved characteristic of our species, I have to believe that it has some adaptive aspects to it.

By: 23skidoo

23skidoo — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:07:27 -0800

I learned that being honest (not volunteering TMI, just basic fundamental honesty) is the best way to go about things back in grammar school... I do it because (a) it's much easier than trying to remember the lies you've told, and (b) I've always been rewarded for it, because my underlying motives are generally good. 1) People who are liars know how to craft lies they can remember. It's really not that much hard to remember lies than it is to remember random true facts. 2) Lying rewards some people just as often as telling the truth rewards other people. You can have underlying motives that are generally good and still be a liar. 3) Whether you lie or tell the truth, it's just important to know your audience, and how much truth/lies is appropriate.

By: quin

quin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:12:34 -0800

I ate the mashed potatoes, and I am pissed.

By: miss lynnster

miss lynnster — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:12:59 -0800

Why would I be upset if... in the middle of romantic cuddling and very lovely wooing with someone that I'm allowing myself to be emotionally vulnerable with... a guy says he thought I was a prostitute when we met? Are you on crack? It's kinda like meeting a black man, befriending him and finding out he's a well-educated professional, going to his home, meeting his wife & kids, and then saying to him a few days later at a barbecue in his home, "You know, when I first met you I acted the way I did because I figured you were just one of those black gangmembers trying to sell me crack." It reflects on the mindframe of the person saying it, not the person it's being said to. And it says, "Hi. I'm saying something insulting to you and calling it honesty so you can't get mad, but the truth is that I'm being a stupid asshole to you."

By: nicolin

nicolin — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:13:08 -0800

I'm lying all the time. uh uh.

By: lodurr

lodurr — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:19:39 -0800

davejay and 23skidoo are both right: It is easier, for most people, to do the calculus and keep track on truth than on lies. But there are simple, easy to teach and learn techniques that can make you a brilliant liar. Where most liars fail is in wanting to be found out. If you genuinely don't want to be found out, it's easy to get away with lying. And as I keep saying: Anybody can be conned. I have been. As any good con artist can tell you, it's often easier to con the smart folks than the dumb folks. You just have to appeal to their vanity. Look what a racket you can make out of it as a self-help psychologist.

By: Afroblanco

Afroblanco — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:28:27 -0800

Yeah, I wouldn't say that I practice anything close to "radical honesty," but I'm definitely more straightforward then your average person. I do it mostly because it gets on my nerves when others sugarcoat the truth. I find that it often does far more damage then just being blunt. So for me, it's kind of a respect thing - I'm going to treat others the way I want to be treated. Does it work for me? Sorta. In general, yes. The difficult thing is knowing when you're going too far. If you're someone like me who just generally speaks their mind, it's easy to get carried away and say things that you'll regret. I'll admit that I've gotten better at it over the years, but I still find myself putting my foot in my mouth from time to time. But the benefits? Priceless. You get things done. You don't have to pretend that you like people who you dislike. You get what you need from various people in the service industry. And yes, girls do dig it, but only in the sense that you aren't one of those guys who never makes a move and thus always falls into the "friend trap."

By: Tehanu

Tehanu — Wed, 05 Sep 2007 10:30:11 -0800

"Hi. I'm saying something insulting to you and calling it honesty so you can't get mad, but the truth is that I'm being a stupid asshole to you." That nicely sums up my impression of Radical Honesty.