Head in the Clouds

September 6, 2007 6:39 PM

Theories about the extinction of dinosaurs have persisted for years. Some say a meteor killed them. Some say it was a comet. Some say dinosaurs never existed. The debate is officially over.
posted by flarbuse (29 comments total)

* In 1841 they were renamed "dinosaurs"!
posted by rxrfrx at 6:41 PM on September 6, 2007

LOLXIANS wait...
posted by Heywood Mogroot at 6:42 PM on September 6, 2007

Dino burgers tonight!
posted by Burhanistan at 6:43 PM on September 6, 2007

Oh Jack Chick, is there anything you can't explain with perfect rationality and clarity?
posted by lekvar at 6:44 PM on September 6, 2007

I thought you were invoking Godwin's law, but I can't find any Hitler in this comic at all!
posted by aubilenon at 6:44 PM on September 6, 2007

Thanks, flarbuse. Until now, I thought anthropomorphism was blasphemy. Now I know better.

Those poor dragons. If they had only given their lives to Jesus, they might still be with us today.
posted by bh at 6:46 PM on September 6, 2007

Please don't laugh at the republican party platform.
posted by found missing at 6:47 PM on September 6, 2007

O. M. F. G.
posted by Cyrano at 6:49 PM on September 6, 2007

Actually I liked this comic book graphic novel representation that showed up at the Scientific American Website. I was trying to figure out how to make an FPP out of it, but I'll just post it here.
posted by Eekacat at 6:52 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

* Jack Chick: FTW
posted by wfrgms at 6:55 PM on September 6, 2007

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by mrnutty at 6:55 PM on September 6, 2007

I'd like to commission Jack Chick to write a tract on why vi is good and emacs is the devil.
posted by b1tr0t at 6:55 PM on September 6, 2007 [3 favorites]

There is no way Jack Chick is not an undercover leftist with an extreme dedication to never admitting he was just kidding.
posted by haveanicesummer at 6:57 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Some say Jesus rode dinosaurs.
posted by Poolio at 6:58 PM on September 6, 2007

I say it all the time.
posted by poweredbybeard at 7:03 PM on September 6, 2007

SEVEN DAYS IS JUST A CONVENIENT REPRESENTATION OF STEPS IN A COSMIC CYCLE! HOW CAN YOU DINO-DENIERS CLAIM THAT EARTH WAS CREATED IN SEVEN DAYS BEFORE IT EXISTED? DAYS ARE SUBJECTIVE TO THE SPHERE ON WHICH THEY ARE COUNTED!

Ahem...'scuse me, sorry bout that.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:08 PM on September 6, 2007

Captain, the server, she canna take it much more!

Shit ain't loadin.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 7:13 PM on September 6, 2007

Some say Jesus rode dinosaurs.

. . . Some people call Him the gangster of love?
posted by Mikey-San at 7:13 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

I reject Jack Chick and stand by the decades of scientific evidence that say life appeared by random chance from rocks.
posted by DU at 7:14 PM on September 6, 2007

I reject Jack Chick and stand by the decades of scientific evidence that say life appeared by random chance from rocks.

There you go...the two extremes to stay away from. Nobody knows shit, really.
posted by Burhanistan at 7:15 PM on September 6, 2007

Rocks? I thought it was something to do with a Space Goat...
posted by Brockles at 7:15 PM on September 6, 2007

This would be extremely funny if 45% of Americans didn't believe that Jeebus created the world 6,000 years ago. As it stands, it's just sad.

Although, personally, I always get a kick out of these conspiracy theories. Creationists always resort to conspiracy theories -- and for good reason. If 99.9% of paleontologists say that dinosaurs did exist (and existed a long, long time ago), but "God" says otherwise, you need a method to explain why those paleontologists are wrong -- hence the conspiracies.

I'm intrigued by the idea of frumpy, neck-bearded doctorate students digging up T. Rex bones in Montana and being like "OH NOES!!!!1 These are really giant chicken bones!! Plus, here's some evidence for Noah's ark!! Our atheist worldview is destroyed!!!111" and then their leader says "Haw haw! Not to worry, my minions! We'll simply pretend that these are dinosaurs and arrange for the Secret Brotherhood of Evolution to cover up the evidence! Hail Satan!"

Being a fundy must be like being trapped in game of Illuminati.
posted by Avenger at 7:16 PM on September 6, 2007 [1 favorite]

Open the door.
Get on the floor.
Everybody walk the dinosaur*

(Originally recorded as "Everybody walk the dragon")
posted by papercake at 7:17 PM on September 6, 2007

Remember those trillions of destroyed plants? They made the air rich with oxygen. And big animals need lots of oxygen to survive. In the thinner air it was harder to breathe — they got slower and easier to catch.

At last, a rational explanation! Take that, you misguided "scientists!"
posted by Devils Rancher at 7:17 PM on September 6, 2007

Some say Jesus rode dinosaurs.

Adam had fun with his, too.*

*sound, creepy animated mouse-following fanatic w/ confused theological view
posted by maryh at 7:18 PM on September 6, 2007

Oh, and what scares me most? That people writing that crap about how everything is an evil conspiracy to Undermine God and His Perfect Word usually live in States with lax gun laws, and only the fact that they are too fat and lazy to put their burgers down to get off their sofas is stopping them from resurrecting (urf!) the Crusades.

Gawd bless laziness and cheap fast food, milady! It's saving us all!
posted by Brockles at 7:18 PM on September 6, 2007

There you go...the two extremes to stay away from. Nobody knows shit, really.

I hope this is a troll.
posted by DU at 7:19 PM on September 6, 2007

Also, George Washingtom loved Jesus, and Jesus loves you.
posted by maryh at 7:19 PM on September 6, 2007

Avenger: you get double funny points because, when you think about it, the paleontologists did just the opposite. They dug up a bunch of bones and were like OH NOES DINOSAURS WTF??? and only late in the game came up with the idea that they were looking at giant proto-chickens.
posted by tylermoody at 7:21 PM on September 6, 2007