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Brum's Folly?
September 13, 2007 12:47 PM   Subscribe

Developers plan to build The VTP 200 - a proposed "landmark tower / vertical theme park" - in Birmingham's city centre.
posted by chuckdarwin (33 comments total)

 
Apparently, the tower offers "three different forms of leisure experience to the visitor - observation, rides, and extreme experience". The "extreme activities" include the "Walk of Fear - the opportunity to walk around the outside of the building secured by a harness, but with no railings", the "Climb to the Top - the opportunity to climb to the top of the tower and have your photo taken at 200 metres with the city beneath you", and "Sky Jump - a 100 metre high speed descent, controlled by a super fast winch, which gives the jumper the experience of free falling".
posted by chuckdarwin at 12:48 PM on September 13, 2007


Interesting that they describe it as a "searing 200m tower" rather than a "soaring 200m tower".

Searing? I like the way these people think. I await the automated abbatoirs disguised as Asda.
posted by aramaic at 12:51 PM on September 13, 2007


I'm pretty sure I built one of these in SimCity 2000.
posted by Thorzdad at 12:52 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's also clear that it's TALLER THAN THE LONDON EYE. Not that it's a penis, or anything.
posted by chuckdarwin at 12:53 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


Meh.

Why is it so small? 200m, but the top 70m looks like a spike/aerial - making the real structure about 130/140m. A 50 storey hotel, nothing remarkable.

Also (main moan) - why doesn't the presenter have a Birmingham accent? It is the city's greatest shame - an accent that takes 40 points off the speaker's perceived IQ.

So they're hiding it from the world, as they try to sell the city.

(Born in Wolverhampton, grew up in Great Barr, school in Handsworth, University at Aston - living in Manchester.)
posted by surfdad at 1:07 PM on September 13, 2007


If by developers you mean "Software Developers", don't worry, they'll never actually get anything done.
posted by blue_beetle at 1:07 PM on September 13, 2007


A searing 200m tower

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
posted by dersins at 1:10 PM on September 13, 2007


For a little while I thought this was in Birmingham, Alabama. The confusion I was experiencing was profound and overwhelming.
posted by gordie at 1:11 PM on September 13, 2007


Am yow gowin' oop the tawa, Skip?
posted by i_cola at 1:15 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


I live near Brum, and many of my friends are Brummies... so I know the accent well, surfdad. It's the most hated accent in the UK.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:18 PM on September 13, 2007


There are a few of these about. Not just the Spinnaker tower in Portsmouth, but also the i360 shortly to be built in Brighton.

No disrespect to Birmingham, but in both of those you can see the sea and the south Downs. In the VTP200 you would be able to see, er, Birmingham.
posted by athenian at 1:52 PM on September 13, 2007


chuckdarwin you are a fraud and a mountebank.

Your profile says that you live in Malvern. That is very distant from Birmingham (Brum for confused yanks) miles/culture/place/and especially accent wise. I know this because should you drive from Malvern to Brum you'll go past my Dad's house in Malvern Link - that's where he moved when he made enough cash to get us all out of Great Barr.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a Brummie. I live in Manchester and work, God help me, in Liverpool, but have never worked out how to stop people laughing at my accent. Having scousers take the piss out of your accent is very... err... wearing.

Lukily I'm quite a big feller.

Like your pictures.
posted by surfdad at 1:57 PM on September 13, 2007


That's the ugliest thing I've seen all day.
posted by bshort at 2:10 PM on September 13, 2007


gordie, I too thought Birmingham, Alabama. I was wondering why they wanted to build something that would allow you to see Mississippi.
posted by Cyclopsis Raptor at 2:48 PM on September 13, 2007 [2 favorites]


Anyone have any links to examples of a Brummie accent?
posted by Bugbread at 3:00 PM on September 13, 2007


I have to say, in spite of the fact that it's being marketed with the name VTP200, I wasn't prepared for the thing to look like the bastard child of the Space Needle and a common water tower.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:03 PM on September 13, 2007


There are never been so many great architects alive and obviously those people have never heard about them.

"...the most eye-catching building in Birmingham for years". Oh my. Poor Brummies.
posted by bru at 3:23 PM on September 13, 2007


bugbread, there's a few here
I find it hard to navigate/search that site, but there are more if you dig.
posted by oneirodynia at 3:31 PM on September 13, 2007 [1 favorite]


chuckdarwin you are a fraud and a mountebank.

Erm, thanks very much. I'm also the resident Yank.

Your profile says that you live in Malvern. That is very distant from Birmingham (Brum for confused yanks) miles/culture/place/and especially accent wise.


It's only 40 minutes away. One may even be able to see the Hills from said tower, once it's built. They call them the White Hills, I'm told.

I know this because should you drive from Malvern to Brum you'll go past my Dad's house in Malvern Link - that's where he moved when he made enough cash to get us all out of Great Barr.

That's because everyone wants to retire to Malvern: it's picturesque.

Don't get me wrong - I'm a Brummie. I live in Manchester and work, God help me, in Liverpool, but have never worked out how to stop people laughing at my accent. Having scousers take the piss out of your accent is very... err... wearing.


That sounds like Hell! How dare they! Ozzy made that accent acceptable years ago!

Lukily I'm quite a big feller.

Like your pictures.


Thanks, mate! I never run out of subjects here... it's a photographer's paradise, this old island.

Well met.
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:39 PM on September 13, 2007


What an incredibly ugly building proposal.

...the most eye-catching building in Birmingham for years

Erm ... only four years.
posted by WPW at 5:06 PM on September 13, 2007


Anyone have any links to examples of a Brummie accent?

Ozzy Ozbourne
posted by gergtreble at 5:13 PM on September 13, 2007


gergtreble writes "Ozzy Ozbourne"

That's no good. I'll just associate Brummies with "slurry, incoherent, homeless", and I have a hard time imagining Arthur Conan Doyle, Neville Chamberlain, or JRR Tolkien talking like Ozzy Ozbourne.
posted by Bugbread at 5:25 PM on September 13, 2007


You can always tell a Brummie, but you can't tell him much!

I have waited for years to be able to use that.
posted by blacklite at 5:47 PM on September 13, 2007


Brummie
posted by chuckdarwin at 12:20 AM on September 14, 2007


Also (main moan) - why doesn't the presenter have a Birmingham accent? It is the city's greatest shame - an accent that takes 40 points off the speaker's perceived IQ.

So they're hiding it from the world, as they try to sell the city.


They have some history of that.
posted by vbfg at 12:21 AM on September 14, 2007


vbfg, that was some righteous Telly.
posted by chuckdarwin at 1:56 AM on September 14, 2007


Considerably taller than yow
posted by fullerine at 4:32 AM on September 14, 2007


but also the i360 shortly to be built in Brighton.

A 20 minute vertical ride to see Bognor? That'll get the punters in.
posted by vbfg at 5:15 AM on September 14, 2007


Chuckdarwin: I tried checking YouTube for Brummie accents, but gave up after a while, since half the videos the audio was so muffled that I couldn't hear what they were saying period, let alone how they said it, and the other half were non-Brummies putting on Brummie accents.
posted by Bugbread at 5:16 AM on September 14, 2007


in the 60's they had a fibreglass statue of king kong in a square underneath the rotunda that eventually ended up in the forecourt of the king kong kar co.

parts of birmingham were destroyed by ww2 and other chunks simply erased by the planners. since then the city centre has just been a toy construction set for the shitstem

i quite like the anthony gormley statue in constitution square(?)
posted by paradise at 5:17 AM on September 14, 2007


bugbread - the instructor in the street-survival videos posted a few days back has a Black Country or Brum accent of some description, though I'm not from round they parts and couldn't tell you exactly where he's from.
posted by Abiezer at 5:30 AM on September 14, 2007


Also, since it's there: A 20 minute vertical ride to see Bognor?
Bugger Bognor!
posted by Abiezer at 5:31 AM on September 14, 2007


Abiezer writes "bugbread - the instructor in the street-survival videos posted a few days back has a Black Country or Brum accent of some description"

Ah, thanks. Very clear and easy to hear. Doesn't really remove 50 IQ points for me, but that must be a regional thing. From my knowledge, an East London accent makes the speaker sound far dumber.
posted by Bugbread at 6:52 AM on September 14, 2007


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