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And mark well my words, mateys. Dead men tell no tales...
September 19, 2007 1:34 AM   Subscribe

Ye come seeking adventure and salty old pirates, aye? Sure you've come to the proper place. But keep a weather eye open, mates - and hold on tight, with both hands, if you please! There be squalls ahead, and Davy Jones waiting for them what don't obey!
posted by Katemonkey (48 comments total) 6 users marked this as a favorite

 
arrr!
posted by By The Grace of God at 1:42 AM on September 19, 2007


Avast ye monstrous mouse!
posted by Myeral at 1:52 AM on September 19, 2007


Anyone know why pirate jokes are so funny?
posted by allkindsoftime at 1:54 AM on September 19, 2007


arrr!
posted by maxwelton at 1:56 AM on September 19, 2007


Anyone know why pirate jokes are so funny?

Because you don't have to look behind you before you tell one.
posted by Brittanie at 2:02 AM on September 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


flickr too, arr
posted by gac at 2:20 AM on September 19, 2007


Ok, so this meme is a wee tired now. On the other hand, Dr. McNinja's origin story will never be.
posted by whir at 2:27 AM on September 19, 2007


What a memetastic Disneyshill FPP!
posted by fandango_matt at 2:29 AM on September 19, 2007


No meme this be, matey; check the date!

(Nicely done, Katemonkey.)
posted by pax digita at 2:55 AM on September 19, 2007


Related ask.metafilter.com link.

And for God's sake people, it's "Yarrr" with a "Y". Always has been since Captain McAallister came along.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 3:11 AM on September 19, 2007


Lift the skin up, and put into the bunt the slack of the clews (not too taut), the leech and foot-rope, and body of the sail; being careful not to let it get forward under or hang down abaft. Then haul your bunt well up on the yard, smoothing the skin and bringing it down well abaft, and make fast the bunt gasket round the mast, and the jigger, if there be one, to the tie.
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:11 AM on September 19, 2007


(surveying sad corpses, NinjaRoivas slinks back silently into the night)
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:18 AM on September 19, 2007


Funnier, or I'll the lot of ye keel hauled, and ye may lay to that, ye filthy bilge rats!
posted by Scoo at 4:00 AM on September 19, 2007


Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We pillage, we plunder, we rifle and loot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We kidnap and ravage and don't give a hoot
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Maraud and embezzle and even high-jack
Drink up me hearties yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We kindle and char, inflame and ignite
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We burn up the city, we're really a fright
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

We're rascals, scoundrels, villains, and knaves
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs
Drink up me hearties, yo ho

Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me

We're beggars and blighters and ne'er do-well cads
Drink up me hearties, yo ho
Aye, but we're loved by our mommies and dads
Drink up me hearties, yo ho


That is all.
posted by psmealey at 4:00 AM on September 19, 2007


The "There be squalls" link is a pretty nifty examination of the changes the ride's gone through over the years.
posted by EarBucket at 4:14 AM on September 19, 2007


I think that Bestival 2007 finally tipped me over the edge into 'totally fucking bored of this pirate nerdery' territory. Bunch of yarrse.
posted by i_cola at 4:50 AM on September 19, 2007


Is there such a thing as a book about how the Disney rides are designed and constructed? Tech details, mechanical system photos, concept art, that sort of thing? Preferably light on all that PR BS with people going "Oh it was fantastic to work with [whoever], I've admired his work for years, so I was quite excited when [blah blah blah]"

Because Disney produces more crap tie-ins and merchandise than half the rest of the world combined, and it drives me nuts that the one thing I really want them to make, they don't seem to.
posted by -harlequin- at 4:52 AM on September 19, 2007


Anyone know why pirate jokes are so funny?

Nobody knows. They just ARRRRR!
posted by aubilenon at 5:01 AM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


That's a fantastic Q, -harlequin-.
posted by uncanny hengeman at 5:03 AM on September 19, 2007


Also
posted by aubilenon at 5:07 AM on September 19, 2007


-harlequin-: Disney doesn't do books like that (at least, not just about the rides themselves -- you can get bits and pieces in other books, but nothing really detailed or PR-lite).

However, the fanbase does. For example, there's Jeff Baham's The Secrets Of The Haunted Mansion, The "E" Ticket magazine, or Shaun Finnie's The Disneylands That Never Were.

Unfortunately, I can't vouch for the quality, as my budget does not justify becoming more of a Disneyana geek than I already am.
posted by Katemonkey at 5:20 AM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Which one is the good link?
posted by smackfu at 5:54 AM on September 19, 2007


What's a pirate's favorite aspect of Jungian psychology?

Arrrrrchetypes.
posted by EarBucket at 6:01 AM on September 19, 2007


and Davy Jones waiting for them what don't obey!

Yeah, but Peter Tork is waaaaaay cuter!
posted by jonp72 at 6:12 AM on September 19, 2007


[this space reserved for 17 verses of Barnacle Bill the Sailor]
posted by Artful Codger at 6:36 AM on September 19, 2007


Language Log on Pirate Day, with Corsair Ergonomic Keyboard for Pirates.
posted by languagehat at 7:02 AM on September 19, 2007


What do pirates do with all their extra junk?

They have a YARRRR sale!
posted by davelog at 7:12 AM on September 19, 2007


-harlequin-, you're going to have a hard time finding a book that Disney has authorized which is light on the corporate PR drivel. And if Disney hasn't authorized it, it ain't gonna have any pictures. Pictures are shockingly necessary for such endeavors.

That said, I thought Designing Disney's Theme Parks: The Architecture of Reassurance was pretty good. It's got a decent portion of concept art and some really insightful essays. I do not recommend John Hench's Designing Disney. The name is promising, but trust me, it's not the book you're looking for.

However, really, the internet is going to get you a lot further. Google your favorite ride and probably in the first five pages that come up, you'll find a pretty good resource, especially if the ride is a big favorite like PotC.

Uh, avast. I hope my coworkers forget about Talk Like a Pirate Day...but I know for a fact it's not going to happen and I'm going to have to endure an entire day of "matey"s and "yarr"s. I only like robot pirates, dagnabbit.
posted by crinklebat at 7:22 AM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


Oh, and good post, Katemonkey. Nicely put together. I'm going to DL on Saturday and this got me all excited.
posted by crinklebat at 7:24 AM on September 19, 2007


My boyfriend made me stop at Long John Silvers for pirate hats he and his coworkers could wear to work today.

Seriously.

The girl at the counter said "oh, would you like some coloring book pages, too?"

Me: "The hats are for my boyfriend. He's 34."

Her: "Ohhh."
posted by bitter-girl.com at 7:37 AM on September 19, 2007 [2 favorites]


Yarr! The katemonkey be a fine wench for this. Anyone be sayin' a word agin her will be run through!

And in conclusion, this pirate thread is rated... ARRRRRRR!!!
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 7:48 AM on September 19, 2007


Pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch.

Bartender says, Hey buddy, what's with the steering wheel?

Pirate responds, ARRRR, it be drivin' me nuts!

Did you see the new Pirate movie?

It was rated ARRRRRRRR. (damn you ObscureRefMan)

YARRRR!!!
posted by cavalier at 8:03 AM on September 19, 2007


Another day of the year I want to set the universe aflame with the force of my hatred.

I work at a major bank. I deal every day with people who have misplaced in their minds the concepts of homonyms and homophones, and God help you if you make a pun, because they look at you as if you're the stupid one.

But they ALL are doing the 'pirate talk' thing.

Time to override the volume lock on my iPod.
posted by mephron at 8:06 AM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


mephron, try this one:

Q. Which branch of the military did the pirate join?

*wait for cries of "the Arrrrmy!"*

A. Ummm... the navy?

Boats?
posted by Orange Pamplemousse at 8:14 AM on September 19, 2007


Another day of the year I want to set the universe aflame with the force of my hatred.

I work at a major bank.


There you go, I cut out all the unnecessary bits for you.
posted by Joeforking at 8:22 AM on September 19, 2007


An-arrgh-chy, the economics of piracy. Those scurvy dogs were rational actors after all!
posted by anthill at 8:42 AM on September 19, 2007


Going limp.
posted by Krrrlson at 8:57 AM on September 19, 2007


Who lives in a pineapple unner th' sea?
posted by robot at 9:09 AM on September 19, 2007


Me pirate fortune:

Man the braces, matey! There be lubbers on the horizon what would persuade ye to join a conspiracy what could turn out to be a ruddy burden. Stand by to repel boarders and continue on the course ye have already wisely charted. Look about fer trusted shipmates who will stand behind ye. Discuss yer charts with them and mark the wonders o' Tomorrowland in the Magic Kingdom. These steady hands afore the mast can help ye sail yer course. Mark well me words, matey: the confident tomorrows be charted by the wisely planned todays.
posted by misha at 9:30 AM on September 19, 2007


ARRR!! It be talk like a pirate day today!

Me thinks it be the day of boarding all landlubbers vessels, what with their pleasure cruising and whatnot, and then on to pulling the lanyards and ripping the mizzen mast and setting fire to the lot of them!

Dire be the future of any cur who doesn't spout piratey words from their maw! There'll be keelhauling and not a few dusty boots taking the long walk off the short plank. I'll take it a personal affront, I will, to any bloodless barnacled wretch who doesn't take up the sabre and the cutlass and show those 'proper' speaking law abidin' prisses what a real pirate be talking like!

It be a war of the lexiconagraphy me maties! There'll be long pork tonight for me men who skewer the powerdered wigs and give 'em their due! One day, says I! One day when we salty bastards can rise up against the gutless many! So set sail! We be tacking back and be on a collision course. Stick yer courage to the sticking place, and ready the cannons!
posted by eurasian at 10:07 AM on September 19, 2007


I'm from Cornwall. Welcome to my world...
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 10:12 AM on September 19, 2007


I tell anyone who asks about my loathing of Talk Like a Pirate Day that I only like pirates when they're robot pirates. I hate pirates when they're coworker pirates.
posted by crinklebat at 10:19 AM on September 19, 2007


Yarrrrrrrr, this one time - shiver me timbers! - at pirate camp....
posted by katillathehun at 10:42 AM on September 19, 2007


Ay, ya skallywags, you know what be missing? Ringtones! And them things what suck out yar soul. And cats! And lest ye forget, Mefi has been boarded before.
posted by dejah420 at 11:14 AM on September 19, 2007


Nice pirate article in National Geographic
posted by exogenous at 11:37 AM on September 19, 2007


Here is a joke:

Q: How does a Pirate mow the lawn?

A: Fucking kill yourself you brainless, unfunny sack of shit.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 11:53 AM on September 19, 2007 [1 favorite]


"Almost everyone in the fishing business has had sex with a manta ray at some point."
posted by fandango_matt at 2:20 PM on September 19, 2007


Unfortunately, that wasn't enough for Steve Irwin, who just had to take it further, to a kinky BDSM level.
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:22 PM on September 19, 2007


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