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A Plague of Mice
September 20, 2007 12:31 AM   Subscribe

Sweet mother of Christ that is a lot of mice. The Guiness Book of World Records' official record for worst mouse infestation ever (with video) will freak the shit out of you. Literally millions of meat-eating pig devouring Australian biblical plague mice!!
posted by jonson (100 comments total) 9 users marked this as a favorite

 
DO NOT WANT
posted by Poolio at 12:34 AM on September 20, 2007


Mice are jerks.
posted by Lord_Pall at 12:39 AM on September 20, 2007


I'm so sick of these goddamn youtube po

HOLY FUCK
posted by item at 12:39 AM on September 20, 2007 [8 favorites]


Ben, the two of us need look no more
We both found what we were looking for
With a friend to call my own
I'll never be alone
And you, my friend, will see
You've got a friend in me

posted by item at 12:42 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


HOLY FUCK

Christ, what an asshole.
posted by Poolio at 12:43 AM on September 20, 2007


Once they've tasted pig flesh, it's only a matter of time before they come for us.

(Or you Australians anyway. Those of us who live in sensible countries ought to be spared
posted by MrMustard at 12:44 AM on September 20, 2007


I get it, Poolio. You're referencing that thread a while back where I called someone a fuck and then one of the mods made some tired New Yorker joke tha

HOLY FUCK THAT'S TOO MANY MICE
posted by item at 12:46 AM on September 20, 2007


So you guys see what I mean, it's a lot of mice, right? I mean, it's not just me overreacting to a regular amount of mice, this is an extraordinary amount of mice? And the "eating the legs off of the baby pigs" line, that's not right, is it? That's not how mice should be, not at all!
posted by jonson at 12:49 AM on September 20, 2007


I get it, Poolio.

No... you don't.
posted by Poolio at 12:49 AM on September 20, 2007


Maybe linking to the entire Woodstock film would refresh my mem

HOLY FUCK WHERE DID ALL THOSE MICE COME FROM
posted by item at 12:51 AM on September 20, 2007


I'm not clear on how a population can dramatically explode like that just because of a good crop season. What prevents that from happening on a regular basis?
posted by well_balanced at 12:54 AM on September 20, 2007


Maybe they ought to import some of these mouse-eating fellows.
posted by pracowity at 12:55 AM on September 20, 2007


Can't you two play nicely? I mean co

HOLY FUCK ALL THOSE MICE!
posted by gomichild at 12:56 AM on September 20, 2007


OK, so I'd never even heard of Willard, but now I think I have to see it. Thanks item.
posted by MrMustard at 12:56 AM on September 20, 2007


Mitt Romney shoots mice.
posted by Poolio at 12:58 AM on September 20, 2007


Check out the remake. It's actually a documentary about Crispin Glover.
posted by Roman Graves at 12:59 AM on September 20, 2007


Oh, you haterz. This is amazing!

NEWS DOUCHE: Just when the Bennings had thought they'd seen the worst, the unthinkable happened.
Thier youngest daughter tried to eat a dead mouse.

MRS BENNING: After calling her one morning I found that she had the mousetrap in her hand, another mouse had eaten a hole through the head of that mouse, and she had her tongue through that hole, and that was the last straw for me.

NEWS DOUCHE: Most people would move. But not the Bennings.
posted by maryh at 1:04 AM on September 20, 2007 [4 favorites]


Reminds me of that one scene in Ratatouille, where all the rats come pouring down from the ceiling.
posted by Xere at 1:05 AM on September 20, 2007


Reminds me of that one scene in life, where Australian kids are fucking creepy and EAT DEAD MICE.
posted by Roman Graves at 1:11 AM on September 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


This is like Ratatouille, but without the voice talent of Patton Oswalt or the culinary subplot, and with millions of hog eating mice.


Say, jonson, another hog related post? Is someone maybe on the Pork Council??
posted by maryh at 1:12 AM on September 20, 2007


Mice on a Plane...

Q, call my agent.
posted by Clave at 1:16 AM on September 20, 2007


Okay, I'm not seeing

HOLY SWEET FREAKING SAVIOR THAT'S A LOT OF FUCKING MICE!
posted by Astro Zombie at 1:23 AM on September 20, 2007


That's it. I thought the snails that can kill you in ten minutes were bad enough. I am officially, permanently, scared of Australia.

Didn't Steve Irwin deal with one of these mouse plagues? I remember him gleefully picking up a double handful of mice who went sproinging off into the air like popcorn.
posted by cmyk at 1:27 AM on September 20, 2007


Astonishing. Loved the shot of the staring cat just before halfway through.
posted by Listener at 1:39 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


You call that a plague? In my day we used to have to wade to school through mice hip-deep both ways ...
posted by bwg at 1:42 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mice are actually quite good to eat. especially grain fed. Now, rats, they're filthy creatures. They'll eat anything. Mice only eat nice things. Like pigs and albatrosses.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 1:47 AM on September 20, 2007


Pity it didn't lead to a plague of cats. Nobody would object to millions of cats swarming across the land would they?
posted by hoverboards don't work on water at 1:54 AM on September 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


My portrait.... in rats!
posted by maryh at 1:55 AM on September 20, 2007


Nobody would object to millions of cats swarming across the land would they?

Ahem.
posted by three blind mice at 1:58 AM on September 20, 2007 [9 favorites]


Hey, cool, I was visiting a friend out west during that plague.

Imagine waking up in the middle of the night to the sound of scritching and squeaking, getting out of bed, walking across the room & turning the light on - and seeing nothing but a wall-to-wall carpet of writhing grey-brown. Funny thing is, you almost couldn't step on them - put your foot down, and a foot-shaped hole would appear with a 1/2" gap all around; lift it up again and the mice would flood back. Leave your foot on the floor for more than a second or two, however, and they'd run over your foot and up your leg.

Walk outside during the day and you didn't see them - until you lifted a sheet of iron or an old pallette lying in the yard, uncovering a perfectly-shaped nest of mice that'd immediately take off in every direction.

The smell was the worst thing, though...

(At least it wasn't one of the occasional locust plagues. Spider, snakes, mice - I can take them all. But grasshoppers and locusts, with their dead insectile eyes, really ick me out...)
posted by Pinback at 2:29 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


"It was only when the bones of the first devoured victims were discovered that the true nature and power of these swarming black creatures with their razor sharp teeth and taste for human blood began to be realized by a panic-stricken city"
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 3:01 AM on September 20, 2007


Or: why you should take an ecology class.
posted by Citizen Premier at 3:05 AM on September 20, 2007


There's no way I can click that. Squick.
posted by chuckdarwin at 3:07 AM on September 20, 2007


Hammers.
posted by Henry C. Mabuse at 3:07 AM on September 20, 2007


That is a lot of mice.
posted by slimepuppy at 3:09 AM on September 20, 2007


So cute.
posted by brautigan at 3:15 AM on September 20, 2007


I hope they are not coming to bring my dead tooth.
posted by nicolin at 3:37 AM on September 20, 2007


Ahem.
posted by three blind mice at 1:58 AM on September 20


As long as those puddy-tats could talk, it would be OK, tbm
posted by Myeral at 3:45 AM on September 20, 2007


Crikey!

I'm going to show that video to anyone who starts rattling on about how cats destroy small wildlife. Clearly, small wildlife really needs keeping down...
posted by tomsk at 4:12 AM on September 20, 2007


In the last plague, I was sucking them up with the vacuum cleaner.
posted by emf at 4:20 AM on September 20, 2007


World's worst mouse plague meets world's worst melodramatic voiceover.
posted by Wolfdog at 4:24 AM on September 20, 2007


Motherfuckin' humans, trying to lay mousetraps in *my* barn. You think you're tough right now, with your poisons and your traps and your shotguns. Man, you just frontin'. We'll see which gang is really tough next week when a few of my homeboys are gonna come visit. Me and the rest of the guys from the Western Australia Rolling Mickeys gonna show you what a mouse rumble *really* looks like.

Holla!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 4:31 AM on September 20, 2007


Tell me about the mouses again, George.
posted by Pollomacho at 4:39 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Gloria in excelsis Deo,
et in terra pax hominibus bonae voluntatis.
Laudamus te. Benedicimus te.
Adoramus te. Glorificamus te.
Gratias agimus tibi propter magnam gloriam tuam.
Domine Deus, Rex coelestis,
Deus Pater omnipotens,
Domine Fili unigenite, Iesu Christe;
Domine Deus, Agnus Dei, Filius Patris:
qui tollis peccata mundi,
miserere nobis;
qui tollis peccata mundi,
suscipe deprecationem nostram;
qui sedes ad dexteram Patris,
miserere nobis.
Quoniam tu solus Sanctus,
tu colus Dominus,
tu solus Altissimus,
SWEET SHITTING BITCH THAT IS MORE MICE THAN NECESSARY
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 4:45 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA *ahem... excuse me.... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

You know, I actually thought mice were kind of cute, before this. Now I just want to get a pair of really big boots and a lot of poison cheese.
posted by Aversion Therapy at 5:03 AM on September 20, 2007


The mice destroyed 500,000 tons of wheat; enough to feed the state of Utah for four years.

Sorry Utah, no Wheaties until 2011.
posted by itchylick at 5:06 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Mousie, thou art no thy lane.
posted by Wolfdog at 5:06 AM on September 20, 2007


Got a good laugh when the announcer says, "... and then the unthinkable happens". I was expecting to hear that the kid got sick or died. No, the "unthinkable" was that the kid had her tongue in a hole in a mouse's head.

Not sure what the kid was thinking though. Ick.
posted by itchylick at 5:12 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Two mice can produce two thousand offspring in months???
posted by rottytooth at 5:16 AM on September 20, 2007


The shot of that overwhelmed cat at 2:53 was a nice touch.
posted by otio at 5:17 AM on September 20, 2007


I wonder if that cat still wakes up some nights in a cold sweat.

Me, I would've tried luring mice into a grain bin and then turned on the auger. But I'm sort of sick that way.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 5:18 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


I think we have our Biodiesel answer right here.
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:27 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


That's given me the jibblies.
posted by Jofus at 5:36 AM on September 20, 2007


Dear God. And I thought I had it bad at my place, a 95-year-old semi-detached. With seventeen mice trapped over the past six months, they've now learned to eat the peanut butter out of the snap trap without setting it off, and will probably soon develop opposable thumbs and set up a city state.
posted by orange swan at 5:38 AM on September 20, 2007 [7 favorites]


Ironically, Australia is also plagued with cats...
in October of 1996, Richard Evans, a member of Australia's parliament called for the "total eradication of cats from Australia," which he feels are responsible for the destruction of Australia's local environment.
posted by 445supermag at 5:41 AM on September 20, 2007


And then they'll take over my MeFi account and you won't even know it.

Why don't we have more posts about cheese? So delicious and nutritious.

posted by orange swan at 5:42 AM on September 20, 2007 [3 favorites]


they've now learned to eat the peanut butter out of the snap trap without setting it off
posted by 445supermag at 5:44 AM on September 20, 2007


So they killed them with strychnine? Such a waste. They didn't need poison. They needed Zambians.
posted by Slithy_Tove at 5:44 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Two mice can produce two thousand offspring in months???

Word. You should see what three of us can do.....
posted by three blind mice at 5:46 AM on September 20, 2007 [4 favorites]


they've now learned to eat the peanut butter out of the snap trap without setting it off

Here's a hint an old boss gave me: bait the trap with peanut butter like normal, but when they eat it off, leave the trap out a few more days without rebaiting. Mice love peanut butter. They'll remember where it was, and will come back to nibble more, setting the trap off.
posted by Malor at 5:56 AM on September 20, 2007


Someone get me a goddamn flamethrower, now!
posted by aramaic at 5:59 AM on September 20, 2007


I don't rebait until the trap is licked completely clean, Malor. I'm doomed.
posted by orange swan at 6:00 AM on September 20, 2007


Raisins, orange swan, raisins.
posted by MrMustard at 6:20 AM on September 20, 2007


You call that a plague of mice? This is a plague of mice!
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 6:43 AM on September 20, 2007


Why aren't you guys finishing your sent

HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE END OF THAT SENTENCE
posted by cortex at 6:52 AM on September 20, 2007 [5 favorites]


HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO THE END OF THAT SENTENCE

I think rodents gnawed the end off of it.
posted by Pollomacho at 6:54 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


I am not ever, ever, ever going to click that link. Just reading the comments is enough and now I'm sitting on my desk with my feet on my office chair, twitching. Also, I always wanted to visit Australia, which I was erroneously informed was full of cute marsupial creatures who hopped, but fuck that now. Never. Never, ever, ever. I can handle spiders and snakes and lizards and locusts but not rodents.
posted by mygothlaundry at 6:55 AM on September 20, 2007


That's a non-trivial number of mice right in that there video.
posted by dersins at 7:16 AM on September 20, 2007


My friend was making me some special agar jello shots for a theme party. He was in the experimental phase. So one night he retired from several hours of slaving over the hot jello pot and left a bunch of hi-test shots on the kitchen counter (agar sets up in room temperature and unmolds beautifully, making little gleaming molded delights--I wanted free-standing jello shots, to look like gemstones).

The next morning, one of the shots was completely devoured and next to it was one with a few bites out and next to THAT was a rat. Dead of alcohol poisoning.

Next night he fine tuned the recipe some more and got another rat. He rid the house of them over a few days. At the party no one would touch the agar shots. They were lovely to look at but unnerving to bite into and distasteful if you were not a rat. We learned that sugary, alcoholic agar dumplings repel people but are an effective and pretty humane way to dispatch a rodent. Agar is available in Asian food stores. Get the flavored kind or flavor your own with whatever area rats are partial to.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:19 AM on September 20, 2007 [8 favorites]


Mice are cute. Awwww.

Too many of ANY creature in one place squicks me the Hell out though. Vegas on New Year's for example. AAAHHGH!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:33 AM on September 20, 2007


HOLY SHIT

Until you click the link you do NOT have a full appreciation of the concept of "too many mice".
posted by yhbc at 7:44 AM on September 20, 2007


mice rule. those farmers should be poisoned, not the mice. no such thing as too many mice.
posted by mr_book at 7:51 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Too many of ANY creature in one place squicks me the Hell out though.

Surely not smurfs. How could there be too many smurfs? If you opened the door to your shed and a tide of smurfs fell out, it would be like being hit by a warm blue wave with millions of tiny hands writhing all over you. It would be like walking into a wall of love.

The Smithsonian natural history museum has/had a bug zoo, with a case of ten or twenty stick insects. Spiky, angular, disjointed wee beasties crawling all over each other. It was right out of the Inferno. I think they made a Langford basilisk somewhere in their writhings.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 8:03 AM on September 20, 2007


Didn't this happen years and years ago? I saw this footage at least 5 years ago.
posted by agregoli at 8:08 AM on September 20, 2007


If you opened the door to your shed and a tide of smurfs fell out, it would be like being hit by a warm blue wave with millions of tiny hands writhing all over you. It would be like walking into a wall of love.

Somebody's been peeking in my dream journal again.
posted by cortex at 8:09 AM on September 20, 2007 [2 favorites]


Surely not smurfs. How could there be too many smurfs?

ESPECIALLY Smurfs.
posted by miss lynnster at 8:22 AM on September 20, 2007


Why can't we have a direct link to the video instead of this blogspam? I'm surprised no one called the FPP out on this; they would in a heartbeat on Digg.
posted by antipasta_explosion at 8:28 AM on September 20, 2007


They're eating the bacon. THIS IS WAR.
posted by casarkos at 8:30 AM on September 20, 2007


This isn't Digg.
posted by yhbc at 8:31 AM on September 20, 2007


Didn't this happen years and years ago? I saw this footage at least 5 years ago.

I'm surprised no one called the FPP out on this; they would in a heartbeat on Digg.

They sure would. In fact if this were Digg, 2/3 of the posts in this thread would be about how unworthy the post was.
posted by Hubajube at 8:40 AM on September 20, 2007


E.G. Marshall, eaten from the inside out by cockroaches. But does Guinness care? Noooo....
posted by bigskyguy at 8:59 AM on September 20, 2007


I like mice but yeah that's a bit much.
posted by hojoki at 9:06 AM on September 20, 2007


antipasta - it's not blogspam, it's the blog that found & promoted the video. It's a legit sporting blog that has been around for a few years & gets a fair number of readers, and for them, the Chris Collinsworth angle was the amusing part. I just linked to them instead of YouTube to credit the source instead of using a "via".
posted by jonson at 9:31 AM on September 20, 2007


itchylick writes "The mice destroyed 500,000 tons of wheat; enough to feed the state of Utah for four years.

"Sorry Utah, no Wheaties until 2011."


Ya, what a strange metric. There seems to be this overwhelming need in the US media to equate any number with a comparison to a specific state. Kind of ironic really considering the flap about the beauty contestant.
posted by Mitheral at 10:02 AM on September 20, 2007


Too much cute /= more cute.

Reminds me of Leiningen Versus the Ants.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:06 AM on September 20, 2007


Too many too many too many too many too many too many too many!!!
Tongue in brain hole???

How am I supposed to go out and enjoy my delicious Chinese food now?
posted by rmless at 10:14 AM on September 20, 2007


Two mice can produce two thousand offspring in months???
posted by rottytooth at 7:16 AM on September 20


Geometric progression.

2 mice make 6 offspring, each of those 6 mate and make 6 more, each of those 36 mate and make 6 more...

After 5 progressions like this, you are at 1300.

A mouse gestation period is only about 2-3 weeks. So in a year, those original parents could still be alive, and be great-great-great-great-great-great-great grandparents to several hundred thousand descendants.

You have to think, there are an enormous number of rodents consumed every day by other predators. They reproduce fiendishly, but are eaten in extermination levels every day. Too much food + too few predators = mouse bloom.

Rodents are the guppies of the land. Or something.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:28 AM on September 20, 2007


they would in a heartbeat on Digg.

This isn't Digg.
posted by EndsOfInvention at 11:10 AM on September 20, 2007


What I have learned today: that if you get enough furry small critters in a confined space, they essentially act as a liquid. A voracious, pig-gnawing liquid. Thanks, Mefi!
posted by jokeefe at 11:59 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


And they are brave, the rats, and vengeful. If you so much as harm one, his sharp cry will bring hordes of his fellows to swarm over you, tear you, and not cease until your flesh has been stripped from your bones.
posted by JT at 12:10 PM on September 20, 2007


So, did the barn get that many mice in it overnight? Did they not notice it until it became a waterfall of mice?
posted by graventy at 12:33 PM on September 20, 2007


JESUS JUMPING CHRIST ON A CRUTCH THAT'S A WHOLE LOT OF MI

The weather sure was nice today.
posted by papercake at 5:26 PM on September 20, 2007


Metafilter: A voracious, pig-gnawing liquid.
posted by furtive at 5:30 PM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Awesome!

Let's get drunk!
posted by Furie at 5:45 PM on September 20, 2007


That was a lot of mice, but they didn't really seem dangerous.

DECIMATED CROPS!!! = some peppers with a few holes

HALF-EATEN PIGS!!! = 5-6 gnaw holes in the outer skin

Mice are cute. That was pretty fun. Now if it were red ants ... shudder.
posted by mrgrimm at 5:48 PM on September 20, 2007


Uh, mrgrimm, the mice ate the wheat crop, the entire pepper crop could have looked like that, and those pigs could have died of infection, and/or would have brought nothing at market while looking like that. It's nice that you're so blasé and all, but perhaps you could learn a little about farming or even just listen carefully to the commentary before dismissing those mice as a threat.
posted by orange swan at 6:31 PM on September 20, 2007


When I was a little kid, my grandmother used to tell me that it was very. very important that I make sure to wash thoroughly and be completely clean before I went to bed, because otherwise mice and rats might come gnaw my face and hands off while I slept.

I am so not clicking on that link.
posted by dilettante at 6:54 PM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Congratulations on a very well-written post.
posted by jstruan at 7:01 PM on September 20, 2007


All right, so let's say you want to get gloriously drunk and cure a few ailments at the same time. What exactly is the recipe for Korean baby mice wine? Well, first you need to find that elusive pile of itsy-bitsy rodents. Now mind you, the "itsy-bitsy" description here is of the highest importance. Why? Because the mice cannot be older than two or three days--meaning they have no fur and their eyes aren't open. This guarantees a hair-free beverage (which is generally how I prefer mine) and ensures that the little critters aren't staring at you during the process (also a selling point). Then you need to put the pile of itsy-bitsy rodents inside a large bottle of distilled rice wine, cork it, and let the entire concoction ferment in a dark basement for about a year. Once that time is up, the vintage taste tests can begin. Just don't have any cheese with your wine, though, as it would come across as disrespectful to the mice who cannot also partake. Be sensitive to these kinds of rodent issues, please.

The PHOTO. Gah!
posted by miss lynnster at 7:34 AM on September 21, 2007


How is it that I'm not in the least bit squicked out by this video?

Also: a friend of mine had rats in his garage, and spent months trying to trap 'em with peanut butter -- turned out it wasn't the rats eating the PB off the traps, but ANTS.
posted by davejay at 3:46 PM on September 21, 2007


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