Oh, bollocks! Now I have to MULTI-TASK!!!!!!
September 20, 2007 9:48 AM   Subscribe

"Tammy Wynette was quite wrong when she sang 'Sometimes it's hard to be a woman'. It's not. It's always hard to be a woman. Especially if you're a man." Hard-hitting journalism from The Daily Mail.

Other Tom Mitchelson scoops:
Invasion of the Russian gold diggers
and
Poseurs Paradise! What's it really like to work at Abercrombie & Fitch?
posted by miss lynnster (55 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
He spent a week living like his bizarre, stereotypical idea of a woman, but he'll probably continue to spend the rest of his life living like a jackass.
posted by gurple at 9:56 AM on September 20, 2007 [4 favorites]


Seriously. What an idiot.
posted by agregoli at 10:00 AM on September 20, 2007


A regular little Wallraff, innee?
posted by soundofsuburbia at 10:06 AM on September 20, 2007


Oooh, Lynn, weak sauce.
posted by klangklangston at 10:09 AM on September 20, 2007


Does the author really believe that the substance of womanhood is so banal and superficial? This speaks more to the shallow limited observations of the author than of the existence of women. Way to go Tom, way to hit that journalism hard.
posted by eatdonuts at 10:15 AM on September 20, 2007


Weak sauce? I suppose I shall have to take off my shoes and go back into the kitchen where I belong, then.

Dammit. I just chipped a nail.

posted by miss lynnster at 10:17 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


I experienced none of the real pressures and tribulations that a woman faces every day.

Oh honey, you're so wrong. We really do spend every waking minute thinking about cellulite and biological clocks and shampoo brands. What else could we possibly find to occupy our pretty little heads? You great, big, sexy, silly man, you. If there are other pressures and tribulations, perhaps you could patiently explain it all to me while I make you something to eat.

*bats eyelashes and desperately hopes current brand of mascara makes eyelashes look their ultimate flirtiest*
posted by iconomy at 10:18 AM on September 20, 2007 [3 favorites]


What is a man? What is a woman? Is it the soul or the piece of meat betwinxed the legs?
posted by doctorschlock at 10:20 AM on September 20, 2007


The Daily Mail is synonymous with bullshit. Look under common satirical target on the wiki page of the Daily Mail to see how it is viewed by anyone with a brain in the UK.

Examples include:

In the comedy series Extras a copy of the Daily Mail appears with the headline "Asylum seekers are eating our pets."

Hugh Laurie has said "The Daily Mail ... a crushing embarrassment. I wouldn't feed it to my worst dog"

The spoof TV listings site and TV show TVGoHome included a reality show entitled Daily Mail Island in which contestants were denied access to any form of media except for the Daily Mail. As the show progresses the inhabitants become increasingly right-wing and irrational.

In the adult satirical comic Viz strip Jack Black, a near-fascist "Boy's Own" adventure strip, the Daily Mail is the only newspaper anyone reads in the village, until in one episode an incoming Guardian reader is uncovered as protecting an Al Qaeda cell.

And to top it off,

A stand up comedy show at the Edinburgh Festival 2007 is called All Daily Mail Writers Must Die, by a comedian called William Hanmer-Lloyd.
posted by ClanvidHorse at 10:23 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


This is what you get basing you ideas on womanhood from a straw poll of the vapid idiots who work with you at the Daily Mail.
posted by Abiezer at 10:25 AM on September 20, 2007


Ah, good! I had somehow conflated the names "The Daily Mail" and "The Morning News" in my mind.

I'm very glad that this wasn't, in fact, in The Morning News, which I like.
posted by gurple at 10:28 AM on September 20, 2007


Wow, deep.

Somehow he omitted all those parts about being the subject of unwanted sexual advances and being treated as a piece of meat, getting paid less, being treated as though you were sub-human and inferior and so on and so forth.

Eh, I guess it doesn't matter because everyone knows that what women truly and deeply struggle with is diets, cellulite and makeup.

Is it wrong that I want to kidnap this mook and make him pimp his ass in the Tenderloin for a year, just so he can get a small, brutal taste of it?
posted by loquacious at 10:35 AM on September 20, 2007 [4 favorites]


Woman Do and The GoldDigger. These stories do represent certainly some woman , expecially the Goldigger story, yet they hardly explain behaviors or try to find the causes behind them.

For instance, the fact some woman use make-up doesn't imply they obsess about extrafine details, but some do. Similarly most of the men are absolutely not bothered by how they look, others go a greath lenght to take extra care of their looks and they are immediately taken as effeminate for doing so. Some man use makeup, except that we don't notice it because it's mostly cleaning/hydrating/brooming...which counts for make-up, even if there is no eyeliner involved.

But it is still bipolar (do/don't , does / doesn't , man/woman) and generalistic ; it's superficial and that's how probably it was conceived to be, for a superficial audience.
posted by elpapacito at 10:56 AM on September 20, 2007


I'd hit it -- with a baseball bat!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 10:56 AM on September 20, 2007


Wow, you mean The Daily Mail actually publishes stories that aren't about Princess Di, Maddie, or asylum seekers?
posted by EndsOfInvention at 10:57 AM on September 20, 2007


What is a man? What is a woman? Is it the soul or the piece of meat betwinxed the legs?

It's the piece of meat.
posted by xmutex at 10:58 AM on September 20, 2007


Not an objection as such, but WTF is with all the Daily Mail links? It's like the most liked British Newspaper around here.
posted by Artw at 11:06 AM on September 20, 2007


Does the author really believe that the substance of womanhood is so banal and superficial?

That is the whole mission statement of the Daily Mail and yet it has the highest percentage of female readership of any UK paper.
posted by ninebelow at 11:09 AM on September 20, 2007


I won't wear dresses but I will ring my mother every day, buy flowers, read my horoscope, pluck my eyebrows and browse the chick-lit section of the bookshop - all things deemed necessary by my panel of female advisors.

Oh I get it, his "panel of female advisors" are just steering him to look like a prat, right?

Oh dear GOD, please tell me that's what is going on.
posted by piratebowling at 11:11 AM on September 20, 2007


The Daily Mail's newest ad campaign is based around the battle of the sexes, so this article is pretty unsurprising. I'd find the various Daily Mail satires funnier if I weren't terrified by the thought that over 2 million people are reading their middle-England bollocks every day.
posted by penguinliz at 11:30 AM on September 20, 2007


Apparently I have never truly lived as a woman. Vagina and all that aside.
posted by bookish at 11:30 AM on September 20, 2007 [5 favorites]


Hard-hitting journalism from The Daily Mail.

I never thought I'd see those words in that order.
posted by mosessis at 11:31 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


I was, however, being fascetious. So there ya are!
posted by miss lynnster at 11:40 AM on September 20, 2007


It'd be one thing if he'd even tried to pass: you know, gone in full drag, etc., seen how he was treated differently - rather in the spirit of this, which I still think was a damn interesting article - but all he did was shave his legs, wear some makeup and call his mother? By that criteria, I've been living as a man for most of my life: I like fart jokes, drink pints of beer, don't wear makeup and have never had a bikini wax. Sheesh. I want a raise and more respect, stat.
posted by mygothlaundry at 11:46 AM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


For his next hard-hitting piece, he's going to assume the role of a paraplegic for a week by walking around and telling people, "I am a paraplegic."
posted by Mach3avelli at 11:50 AM on September 20, 2007


loquacious:

"Somehow he omitted all those parts about being the subject of unwanted sexual advances ..."

Where do I sign up for sexual advances, unwanted or otherwise? It would be such a time saver to sit back and pick and choose.
posted by Reverend Mykeru at 11:51 AM on September 20, 2007


I was expecting some insight about what it's like for a TG man to pass ... hmm. Not quite the same article. ;)

I mean, if you look like a man to everyone else, how can you possibly know what it's like to be a woman? Or am I missing something...

Weak sauce seconded.

Great link, mygothlaundry. Thanks, I missed it the first time.
posted by mrgrimm at 11:54 AM on September 20, 2007


Where do I sign up for sexual advances, unwanted or otherwise? It would be such a time saver to sit back and pick and choose.

Your choice is between the drunk on the subway telling you to sit on his lap, the creepy middle aged man rubbing his crotch against your ass on the subway, the guy who manages to grope you and your sister simultaniously on a crowded train, and the homeless man yelling to you and your female friend that he'd like to suck on "both your pussies." Which is your selection?

And yes, all of these have happened to me or close friends of mine.
posted by piratebowling at 12:26 PM on September 20, 2007 [4 favorites]


He's definitely no Nora Vincent. I loved her book, btw. It was really interesting.
posted by miss lynnster at 12:50 PM on September 20, 2007


You know..come to think of it..I wouldn't mind if a woman squeezed my ass like a roll of Charmin toilet tissue.
posted by doctorschlock at 1:09 PM on September 20, 2007


In related news, I'm going to be remaking Black Like Me by tuning in to an urban radio station and eating some fried chicken. I hope I'm up to the challenges ahead of me.
posted by darksasami at 1:14 PM on September 20, 2007 [7 favorites]


piratebowling, I'm afraid that there are two important truths here. One truth is that unwelcome sexual advances do happen quite often to women, and that they are annoying, degrading, and sometimes much worse.

The other truth is that, because these things don't happen much to men, they can sound downright great when described. "the drunk on the subway telling you to sit on [her] lap"? Awesome!

Of course, the drunk that that conjures in my mind is 20-something and cute, and of course a good deal smaller than me.

Spending a couple days as a woman would help to internalize the disgusting reality, but really I'm afraid I couldn't handle calling my mom that much and painting my toes, which is apparently what it's all about.
posted by gurple at 1:41 PM on September 20, 2007


Why do you all have to be such haters? Maybe this guy's experiment in living as a woman gave him a new perspective & taught him something about himself that he didn't know before...?

That is, assuming he came into close proximity with a douche bag at some stage during the week.
posted by UbuRoivas at 2:12 PM on September 20, 2007


Oh honey, you're so wrong. We really do spend every waking minute thinking about cellulite and biological clocks and shampoo brands.

As do we gay men. But(t), we also talk about Madonna, cock, work-out routines, quiche recipes, taffeta, shaving body hair, bathroom stall sex signals, drugs, white wine and the upcoming 'Sex in the City' movie and 'breeders.'
posted by ericb at 2:33 PM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


... close proximity with a douche bag at some stage during the week.

Well ya know, we don't actually use those. We just buy them for the Super Top-Secret Decoder Ring and Miniature Spy Camera.

Hey, Ladies: vjygpe5h0boy7, pi8p0rfm x[';d4mtk pfkhthykms gko

-amirite?
posted by oneirodynia at 2:54 PM on September 20, 2007 [1 favorite]


Wow, it's a vapidness explosion. gurple nailed it in the first comment -- he has now experienced the male stereotype of what womens' lives are like, and convinced himself that he has experienced what their real lives are like, and is utterly clueless as to the difference.
posted by localroger at 3:33 PM on September 20, 2007


The other truth is that, because these things don't happen much to men, they can sound downright great when described. "the drunk on the subway telling you to sit on [her] lap"? Awesome!

I think guys are sometimes a little bit oblivious to the existence of women who aren't cute and under 30. Next time you're on the subway, try to look around for the old, fat, saggy lady, maybe hair thinning, perhaps even with sweatstains, and then imagine she were taller than you, not smiling at you or looking friendly, but more like lipping her lips and eyeing you, and she reaches out to squeeze yer bum.

Sure, it's not the end of the world, but don't tell me it makes your day better.
posted by mdn at 3:33 PM on September 20, 2007


There are women who aren't cute and under 30?

What utter bollocks.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:45 PM on September 20, 2007


also: douche bags come with miniature spy cameras attached? What on earth are they for?

On second thoughts, don't answer that.
posted by UbuRoivas at 3:47 PM on September 20, 2007


What no egregious examples of cross-dressing?
posted by MrLint at 4:19 PM on September 20, 2007


Staaaaaaaaand by yer Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan.......
posted by BitterOldPunk at 4:56 PM on September 20, 2007


This isn't how women live, but it is exactly how female Daily Mail subscribers live.
posted by East Manitoba Regional Junior Kabaddi Champion '94 at 5:29 PM on September 20, 2007


I think guys are sometimes a little bit oblivious to the existence of women who aren't cute and under 30. Next time you're on the subway, try to look around for the old, fat, saggy lady, maybe hair thinning, perhaps even with sweatstains, and then imagine she were taller than you, not smiling at you or looking friendly, but more like lipping her lips and eyeing you, and she reaches out to squeeze yer bum.

Once at my local bar (a serious grade-A dive) a 275lb+ woman in her mid-40's who looked like everyone's embarassing drunk aunt told me (a few minutes after complaining about the malfunctioning AC, and showing me the panties in her purse that she had just removed as a visual aid) told me 'you're a hot young guy, but you mentioned a girlfriend, otherwise I'd do ya." When I told my better half the story, she said she admired the woman's ethics. But, the point is, I got an ego boost from the crazy old broad despite myself. What this proves, I don't really know.
posted by jonmc at 5:44 PM on September 20, 2007


I say, Charles, don't you ever crave to appear on the front of the Daily Mail, dressed in your mother's bridal veil?
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:03 PM on September 20, 2007


But, the point is, I got an ego boost from the crazy old broad despite myself. What this proves, I don't really know.

What it proves is that that ol' broad walked into that gin joint, surveyed the crowd and surmised you to be the "easiest" of the bunch! ; )
posted by ericb at 6:07 PM on September 20, 2007


Arrghh......I've not read the thread or the fpp, but I scrolled down enough to see a smug Daily Mail tit.
Once I've recovered I will give it the interest it deserves.

Oh I already have by ignoring it*.



*apart from this un-ignoring obviously.
posted by djstig at 6:07 PM on September 20, 2007


Or, maybe, "of the brunch."
posted by ericb at 6:07 PM on September 20, 2007


Is it wrong that I want to kidnap this mook and make him pimp his ass in the Tenderloin

You hold him down, I'll fill his ass with silicone.
posted by octobersurprise at 6:17 PM on September 20, 2007


I don't know - the woman piece was pretty wankerish, but I did enjoy his Ambercrombe piece although I think be bought a little too much into the A&F "image" wrt "I thought that if the law permitted it, managers would have exercised quality-control over the customers, too,".

A&F is there to make money. It's a huge gamble to only sell to the generically mainstream beautiful in the exclusion of everyone else although I can see it working but A&F isn't nearly haute couture enough. Guess they'll have to try to hook the marks early - in their early teens - and hope that they continue to have enough income to be able to have A&F-marked income.

I really doubt that he actually did what he claimed he did in the article, in public. Makes me wonder whether he actually qualified to be an A&F "model."
posted by porpoise at 9:00 PM on September 20, 2007


I can believe this shallow little fuckmop had the gall to quote Tammy Wynette. She'd snap his ass in two and send him home with a little more respect.
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 9:51 PM on September 20, 2007


In fact, research has shown that women use 20,000 words a day, while men utter only 7,000. It means I have a word gap of 13,000 a day. I will have to talk three times as much.

AAAAAAAAARRRRGGHHHHH.
posted by flashboy at 1:42 AM on September 21, 2007


In surprising news - not one of his panel of female advisors was born a woman. In fact, only one had been born *of* a woman, the rest having been grown from stem cells and other forms of parthenogenesis, or simply made up from whole, yet tasteful and delightfully high-threadcount, cloth.
posted by Sparx at 3:43 AM on September 21, 2007


Hm. I don't know a woman like the one he describes.

Thanks, flashboy.
posted by Tehanu at 2:26 PM on September 21, 2007


Acting like a his stereotypical image of a woman has made him more of a cock. The irony amuses me.
posted by ob at 5:23 PM on September 21, 2007


You're fucking kidding me. He spent a week being slightly and self-consciously metrosexual and managed to wring an article that long about being a woman out of it? darksasami has it dead on.
posted by Jon Mitchell at 10:39 PM on September 22, 2007


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