Blasphemy is Teh Funneh

September 26, 2007 8:21 PM

Radioactive Baby Jebus is Radioactiveand other food for thought, as you ponder whether or not the whole LOLcat thing is played out completely.
posted by CrunchyFrog (65 comments total)

Well at least Jesus will forgive you for this.
posted by GavinR at 8:22 PM on September 26, 2007

I went to a Christian restaurant the other day and I was surprised at how nice it was. No one was yelling "MF-er, I want more grape juice and crackers!" It was just like eating at a normal atheist restaurant.
posted by fleetmouse at 8:27 PM on September 26, 2007 [26 favorites]

I was thinking about posting this, and then I thought, "Isn't this LOL thing so played out that at this point only the reanimated corpse of Oscar Wilde could make it funny again?" Then I thought, "No, it's not played out at all." Then I woke up from my crazy dream and didn't post this.
posted by tepidmonkey at 8:31 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

It was just like eating at a normal atheist restaurant.

Transubstantiation is sure hard on the digestion, though.
posted by dreamsign at 8:32 PM on September 26, 2007

No one was yelling "MF-er, I want more grape juice and crackers!"

That's because nobody f*cked Baby Jebus' mother.
posted by Poolio at 8:35 PM on September 26, 2007 [3 favorites]

I lol'd. Look at his head!
posted by ZakDaddy at 8:41 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Those lolcats are really going to have to kick it up a notch if they want to keep up with jesus.
posted by mullingitover at 8:44 PM on September 26, 2007

hoookay, i'll bite. what is a "Christian restaurant"?
posted by telstar at 8:49 PM on September 26, 2007

dull.
posted by boo_radley at 8:51 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

OMG!!!

Poolio FWT
posted by BeerFilter at 8:55 PM on September 26, 2007

These are completely ruined by using the wrong font.
posted by mek at 8:55 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

hoookay, i'll bite. what is a "Christian restaurant"?

Chick-Fil-A
posted by Avenger at 8:55 PM on September 26, 2007 [2 favorites]

Do Not Want Jeebus in geosynkromus orbtal
posted by longsleeves at 8:57 PM on September 26, 2007

Dear everyone,

Please stop this now.

Sincerely,
The Internet.
posted by poweredbybeard at 9:06 PM on September 26, 2007

I will admit that I actually laughed aloud alone in my living room at this. That shit is funnay.
posted by tristeza at 9:07 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yes, it's definitely played out.
posted by delmoi at 9:08 PM on September 26, 2007

Best of the fark.
posted by ninjew at 9:18 PM on September 26, 2007

Jesus to the money changers: GTFO!!!
posted by BeerFilter at 9:21 PM on September 26, 2007

as you ponder whether or not the whole LOLcat thing is played out completely.

No pondering necessary. Dead as death itself.
posted by signal at 9:37 PM on September 26, 2007

jesus killed LOLcat.
posted by fuzzypantalones at 9:57 PM on September 26, 2007

ceilingcurrentmeme is watching baby Jeebus killing LOLcat while you masturbate.
posted by Samizdata at 10:00 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

No one was yelling "MF-er, I want more grape juice and crackers!"

But were they yelling "MF-er, I want more blood and body!" ?
posted by amyms at 10:13 PM on September 26, 2007

Plagiarists!

SKY JEBUS IS WATCHING YOU MASTURBATE is a standard issue poster, and has been available for decades now from Catholic bookstores.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:18 PM on September 26, 2007 [3 favorites]

what is a "Christian restaurant"?

Can't say for sure, because I've never been to one, but I hear they're mighty popular in the highlands of New Guinea.
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:21 PM on September 26, 2007 [4 favorites]

lulz. Personally I go for the sharks.
posted by teststrip at 10:25 PM on September 26, 2007

Compared to this, LOLcats is not played out.
posted by jefbla at 10:31 PM on September 26, 2007

Awesome. I can't wait for when they make LOL9/11.

Seriously.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:32 PM on September 26, 2007

*invisible parachute*

seriously, i wonder if LOLx is the new Great White Hope, previously promised - but not quite delivered - by hipster irony, post-irony & meta-irony, whereby everything & anything is reduced to a level playing field of absurdist moral, intellectual & aesthetic non-value...?
posted by UbuRoivas at 10:47 PM on September 26, 2007 [4 favorites]

Seriously, i wonder if LOLx is the new Great White Hope, previously promised - but not quite delivered - by hipster irony, post-irony & meta-irony, whereby everything & anything is reduced to a level playing field of absurdist moral, intellectual & aesthetic non-value...?

Yes! Exactly. It'll all sign and no signifier, so when you try to find the signified you end up with almost nothing. If irony is one where you say one thing but mean another, then this is where you say one thing and mean nothing.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 10:59 PM on September 26, 2007 [6 favorites]

Meh. Weak. What the hell happened to good blasphemy? Did it join the Dodo?
posted by Iosephus at 11:04 PM on September 26, 2007

INVISIBLE SURFBOARD
posted by rob511 at 11:10 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

*invisible LOLcat!*

[insert snap of unremarkable portion of somebody's living room floor here]

(for greater self-conscious postmodern self/other-referentiality, crop the picture from an existing LOLcat graphic, taking care to prevent any part of the cat from appearing in the cropped frame. give the image an alt-title of I IZ NOT INVIZBL LOLCAT)
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:11 PM on September 26, 2007

Lolcats: "We're bigger than Jebus now."

After a provocative magazine interview in which Icanhas Cheeseburger claimed his meme is more popular Jebus Christ among US teenagers, LolXtians from across the USA are demanding a boycott of their pictures.

The Reverend Fred Felch of the Westboro Babtist Church was among the protesters. He said "God hates lolcats, and this blasphemy shows you why. You're all going to hell."

"Also, I has a collection bucket. Nooo! they be stealin' my collection buckit."
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:18 PM on September 26, 2007 [10 favorites]

There's a smorgasborg of semiotics in this shit right here.

Mostly because they got the wrong guy.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 11:22 PM on September 26, 2007

PostIronyEtc: interesting full circle! If I'm not mistaken, "I'm in yr X, Y-ing yr Zs" originated from multiplayer online first person shooter games, where somebody might type a "where are you?" message, and receive the reply "I'm in yr base, killin yr doodz!" (sniping away at the other players as they regenerate in the base after being killed?).

So, art imitates life imitates art, and somebody posts "congrats on the high score" in response to the LOLmassacre.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:37 PM on September 26, 2007

I was all set to be offended and what-have-you, but... AHAHAHAHAHA!
posted by katillathehun at 11:40 PM on September 26, 2007

What the hell happened to good blasphemy? Did it join the Dodo?

Iosephus, there's nothing blasphemous about the concept of Intelligent Extinction.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:41 PM on September 26, 2007

I for one, can't wait for LOLMuhammed.
posted by seanyboy at 11:51 PM on September 26, 2007 [1 favorite]

same here. my bomb shelter has been feeling more & more like a white elephant with every passing year since the ending of the cold war.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:55 PM on September 26, 2007

LOLJokes.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 12:13 AM on September 27, 2007

eh, not quite witty enough - and this is st sebastian, not jesus
posted by pyramid termite at 12:53 AM on September 27, 2007

this was my xmas card last year...
its a max ernst...
does it need a caption?

posted by sexyrobot at 4:06 AM on September 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

INVISIBLE LOLCAT
posted by public at 4:34 AM on September 27, 2007

Atomic Ghandi would kick Radioactive Jesus's holy butt.

I'm just sayin'.
posted by Kirth Gerson at 4:37 AM on September 27, 2007

Poolio: "No one was yelling "MF-er, I want more grape juice and crackers!"

That's because nobody f*cked Baby Jebus' mother."

Wellllll...
posted by PontifexPrimus at 4:38 AM on September 27, 2007

                 ,.     ,.
                {^ \\-"-/ ^}
                "   """   "
               { <O> _ <O> }
               ==_ .:Y:. _==
             .""  `--^--\' "".
            (,~-~."" "" ,~-~.)
      ------(     )----(     )-----
            ^-\'-\'-^    ^-\'-\'-^
      _____________________________
            |"""" /~.^.~\\ """"|
             ,i-i-i(""(  i-i-i.
            (o o o ))"")( o o o)
             \\(_) /(""(  \\ (_)/
              `--\'  \\""\\  `--\'
                     )"")
                    (""/
                     `"

VISIBLE LOLCAT
posted by public at 4:42 AM on September 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

does it need a caption?

I made you a wedding dress, but a giant bird came and eated it.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 5:22 AM on September 27, 2007

LOLCAT EXCITES EVERYTHING

LOLCAT knows everything. LOLCAT spits everything out.

BUT . . . . . . . . .

HAS LOLCAT EVER SPOKEN TO YOU:

about Italy
about accordions
about women's pants
about the fatherland
about sardines
about Fiume
about Art (you exaggerate my friend)
about gentleness
about D'Annunzio
what a horror
about heroism
about mustaches
about lewdness
about sleeping with Verlaine
about the ideal (it's nice)
about Massachusetts
about the past
about odors
about salads
about genius, about genius, about genius
about the eight-hour day
about the Parma violets

NEVER NEVER NEVER

LOLCAT doesn't speak. LOLCAT has no fixed idea. LOLCAT doesn't catch flies.

THE MINISTRY IS OVERTURNED. BY WHOM?

BY LOLCAT

The Futurist is dead. Of What? Of LOLCAT

A Young girl commits suicide. Because of What? LOLCAT
The spirits are telephoned. Who invented it? LOLCAT
Someone walks on your feet. It's LOLCAT
If you have serious ideas about life,
If you make artistic discoveries
and if all of a sudden your head begins to crackle with laughter,
If you find all your ideas useless and ridiculous, know that

IT IS LOLCAT BEGINNING TO SPEAK TO YOU

cubism constructs a cathedral of artistic liver paste
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
expressionism poisons artistic sardines
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
simultaneism is still at its first artistic communion
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
futurism wants to mount in an artistic lyricism-elevator
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
unanism embraces allism and fishes with an artistic line
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
neo-classicism discovers the good deeds of artistic art
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
paroxysm makes a trust of all artistic cheeses
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
ultraism recommends the mixture of these seven artistic things
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?
creationism vorticism imagism also propose some artistic recipes
WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?

WHAT DOES LOLCAT DO?

50 francs reward to the person who finds the best
way to explain LOLCAT to us

LOLCAT passes everything through a new net.
LOLCAT is the bitterness which opens its laugh on all that which has been made consecrated forgotten in our language in our brain in our habits.
It says to you: There is Humanity and the lovely idiocies which have made it happy to this advanced age

LOLCAT HAS ALWAYS EXISTED
THE HOLY VIRGIN WAS ALREADY A LOLCATIST

LOLCAT IS NEVER RIGHT

Citizens, comrades, ladies, gentlemen

Beware of forgeries!

Imitators of LOLCAT want to present LOLCAT in an artistic form which it has never had

CITIZENS,

You are presented today in a pornographic form, a vulgar and baroque spirit which is not the PURE IDIOCY claimed by LOLCAT

BUT LOLDOGMATISM AND PRETENTIOUS IMBECILITY
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:38 AM on September 27, 2007 [3 favorites]

LOLCAT is really just a humour format. You can say "oh, it's played out", but it's a silly and ridiculous thing to say.

"So a guy walks into a bar-"
"Jokes? Those are so ten thousand years ago."
posted by Pope Guilty at 5:47 AM on September 27, 2007 [2 favorites]

It's funny because it's offensive!
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 5:56 AM on September 27, 2007

very true. jokes evolve, too.

for example:

"ohnoes - i haz no noes"

"how haz u smel?"

"terriblz!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 5:58 AM on September 27, 2007

telstar: hoookay, i'll bite. what is a "Christian restaurant"?

Some back story on the "Christian restaurant" joke above.

The "God Eated U" one made me laugh so hard I cried.
posted by Rock Steady at 6:18 AM on September 27, 2007

This is apt. I'd probably laugh even if I was a believer, silly as it is.
posted by Anything at 6:41 AM on September 27, 2007

public, just so you know:

invisible lolcat is invisible.
visible lolcat is visible.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 6:48 AM on September 27, 2007

Christian restaurant consulting
Christian restaurant behavior No mention of O'Reilly, but:

Claim 1.0: Christians are rude and tip poorly.

Christian bookstore
Christian store franchises, all types.
Christian pet care supplies (holistic!)
Christian optometrists
Christian dentists
Christian movers
Christian gun shop (not this one, I guess)
posted by Kirth Gerson at 7:27 AM on September 27, 2007

Played out. But still funny.
posted by ObscureReferenceMan at 7:58 AM on September 27, 2007

I LOLd.
posted by arcticwoman at 8:20 AM on September 27, 2007

I was all set to be offended and what-have-you, but... AHAHAHAHAHA!
posted by katillathehun at 2:40 AM on September 27 [+] [!]


Ok... I admit I think lolcats are "played out" but THAT post really did make me have lots of laughs. fl8me!
posted by Debaser626 at 10:32 AM on September 27, 2007

wherz mah picture at? hoo eated it?
posted by sexyrobot at 12:15 PM on September 27, 2007

Related: LOLadverts
posted by dabitch at 12:56 PM on September 27, 2007

I, for one, welcome our vibrating LOLCAT overlords.
posted by RussHy at 1:06 PM on September 27, 2007

PostIronyIsNotaMyth: Awesome. I can't wait for when they make LOL9/11.

Um.
posted by rusty at 1:53 PM on September 27, 2007

a bit lame, rusty. i was thinking more along the lines of a smouldering corpse, with the caption "but i iz ask for non-smoking!"
posted by UbuRoivas at 4:40 PM on September 27, 2007

Jesus + Cat = Funny.

It's all been done before.
posted by flatluigi at 6:26 PM on September 27, 2007

Dear Rusty,

This is the way the world ends, not with bang but with an LOL.
posted by PostIronyIsNotaMyth at 1:37 PM on September 28, 2007