Doody Calls

October 3, 2007 6:58 AM

So you want to own a dog, but without all the hassles of dog ownership? Well, there's always doggy daycare, dog walkers and even bakeries that cater to Cujo. But in the end, you're still stuck with the worst chore of all - picking up all the yard mines that Poopsy has left for you. Not anymore.
posted by itchylick (32 comments total)

This poop, it's blue?
posted by Malor at 7:07 AM on October 3, 2007

This FPP is kinda crappy.
posted by dosterm at 7:09 AM on October 3, 2007

I'm boycotting this service unless someone points me to some online coupons. (lol)
posted by Riki tiki at 7:11 AM on October 3, 2007

There have been non-franchised plases doing this for ages. THey charge a flat fee per call. Which means that some people just let their back yars get completely covered in dog poop before they call. Eeeewww.
posted by GuyZero at 7:11 AM on October 3, 2007

I just use VaPooRize.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 7:11 AM on October 3, 2007

I hope that their business is picking up.
posted by ND¢ at 7:12 AM on October 3, 2007 [3 favorites has favorites]

Heh, from the testimonials:

"Thank you, Rudy, for picking up what I drop. I'll leave some more out for you this week."

Dog biscuits as economic stimulus. I don't know why I find this so funny.
posted by GuyZero at 7:13 AM on October 3, 2007

So we're back to the ridiculous dotcom era of mylackey.com?
posted by zardoz at 7:15 AM on October 3, 2007

Initial (franchise) Investment Range: $44,830 to $72,870

holy cow!
posted by R. Mutt at 7:18 AM on October 3, 2007

For the amount of poop both my dogs release to the world everyday, these guys should have an hazmat suit, not a baseball cap.
posted by darkripper at 7:19 AM on October 3, 2007

Other people have definitely done this business before. But I do like the catchy name.
posted by miss lynnster at 7:23 AM on October 3, 2007

So what you're telling me is that I don't really need a toilet anymore? I mean, as long as they're cleaning up after the dog...
posted by LordSludge at 7:26 AM on October 3, 2007

Pecuniam non olet !
posted by elpapacito at 7:27 AM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

The business opportunities were much better in the old days.... from The Horse & the Urban Environment:

The normal city horse produced between fifteen and thirty-five pounds of manure a day and about a quart of urine, usually distributed along the course of its route or deposited in the stable. While cities made sporadic attempts to keep the streets clean, the manure was everywhere, along the roadway, heaped in piles or next to stables, or ground up by the traffic and blown about by the wind....

Manure piles also produced huge numbers of flies, in reality a much more serious vector for infectious diseases such as typhoid fever than odors. By the turn of the century public health officials had largely accepted the bacterial theory of disease and had identified the "queen of the dung-heap" or fly, as a major source. Inventors and city officials devised improved methods of street cleaning and street sweeping became a major urban expense....

Because of the manure on the streets, especially when rain created a quagmire, "crossing sweepers" (like those in London), appeared, to help ladies and gentlemen wade through the liquid manure...

posted by R. Mutt at 7:33 AM on October 3, 2007

Oh, and this too...

In 1818, in an attempt to control the manure nuisance, the New York City Council required that those who gathered and hauled manure, so-called "dirt carting," to be licensed, also restricting aliens to this type of carting activity. Thousands of loads of manure were gathered on special "manure-yards" to undergo a process of "rotting," and "gangs" of men were employed to overturn the manure and to expose it to weathering.
posted by R. Mutt at 7:44 AM on October 3, 2007

Some have even suggested that it was the "Golden Age" of poop removal.
posted by R. Mutt at 7:52 AM on October 3, 2007

Initial (franchise) Investment Range: $44,830 to $72,870
holy shit
posted by baker dave at 7:56 AM on October 3, 2007

My old boss had a guy who did this. His company's slogan was "#1 in Number Two!".
posted by padraigin at 8:17 AM on October 3, 2007

So you want to own a dog, but without all the hassles of dog ownership?

Dammit, I came to this thread hoping for Zipdog or some other sort of dog-sharing service. I am disappointed.
posted by oaf at 8:30 AM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite has favorites]

"Pure" collecting. It's quite the venerable industry.
posted by Abiezer at 8:49 AM on October 3, 2007

Do they do human poo?
posted by doctorschlock at 9:47 AM on October 3, 2007

I keep on waiting for a yard version of the Roomba.
posted by pernoctalian at 10:03 AM on October 3, 2007

DAMN! I missed National Pooper Scooper Week again!

I was going to bake a cake and everything.
posted by munchingzombie at 10:04 AM on October 3, 2007

Here's what you want, oaf... Flexpetz
posted by kimdog at 10:53 AM on October 3, 2007

Children, puppies, and kittens are most susceptible to pet-borne illnesses because they have weaker immune systems than adults do.

These guys are really tugging at our heart strings. Or worms.
posted by pracowity at 11:47 AM on October 3, 2007

"When nature calls, we answer". Cringe.

Fun post.
posted by nickyskye at 12:34 PM on October 3, 2007

Boy, that would be a shitty job.

Sorry, I had to.
posted by drleary at 12:53 PM on October 3, 2007

oh my god that actually exists
posted by oaf at 1:27 PM on October 3, 2007

Wasn't that an episode of King of the Hill, like, a year and a half ago?
posted by kafziel at 3:51 PM on October 3, 2007

So, let's talk a little about your duties.
posted by dhartung at 4:04 PM on October 3, 2007

Thank god for these kinds of companies - in our previous apartment, a neighbor had a dog that they never ever ever walked, so his only chance to eliminate was when they let him run around the 8' x 8' front yard. And they never cleaned up after him, because after all their apartment was upstairs and their giant picture window didn't overlook the poop-filled yard (as ours did).

Thankfully, eventually the landlord stepped in and hired a company to clean up the crap once a week. It got really awful for a while there before he did that.
posted by misskaz at 5:09 PM on October 3, 2007

King of the Hill: Business Is Picking Up
original airdate: March 19th, 2006

When Bobby attends the school's job shadow program, he winds up interning for Peter Sterling, a man who runs a pooper-scooper business. Bobby is so impressed by Peter that he decides to pursue the same career.

posted by intermod at 7:47 PM on October 3, 2007