Under the sea!

October 3, 2007 12:11 PM

Darling it's better down where it's wetter. For $2.5 million, this beautiful home can be yours: Jelly-fish 45, designed by Giancarlo Zema is a floating dwelling unit for up to six persons. It's spacious dimensions are 10 metres high with a diameter of over 15 metres. The Jelly-fish 45 would be ideally situated in sea parks, atolls, bays and seas rich in flora and fauna. The Jelly-fish 45 allows the sea dwelling owners to live either above or below sea level in perfect harmony with the ocean environment.
posted by Astro Zombie (54 comments total)

Very cool. But I can't help wondering what it would be like to be in one of those during, say, a tsunami.
posted by orange swan at 12:15 PM on October 3, 2007

beautiful!

maybe on a lake or very sheltered bay it'd be safer tho...
posted by amberglow at 12:18 PM on October 3, 2007

Does it come with a ticket for a ride back to 1967?
posted by DU at 12:19 PM on October 3, 2007

From what I have heard, boats that are significantly far out to sea often don't even know that a tsunami has passed beneath them. On the other hand, since this would be moored close to shore, I image it would go spinning across the coast like a top. A top with mashed human flesh inside it.
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:20 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Neptus 60 Cliff Habitat-- right out of Thunderbirds! : >

This is gorgeous too! -- Trilobis 65 Floating Home
posted by amberglow at 12:20 PM on October 3, 2007

"Homer, that's your solution to everything, to move under the sea."
posted by Greg Nog at 12:20 PM on October 3, 2007

Oh no way, Iv'e seen life under the sea: you either get big daddies stomping through the kitchen or Ken Berry. I'm not sure which is worse.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:21 PM on October 3, 2007

On the other hand, since this would be moored close to shore, I image it would go spinning across the coast like a top. A top with mashed human flesh inside it.

Totally. And if it was out at sea, hurricanes/cyclones would fling it and spin it like a top (also mashing people and things inside)
posted by amberglow at 12:22 PM on October 3, 2007

Not to mention the risk of pirate/space virus/scary ghost/super intelligent shark/tentacle monster/terrorist related misadventure.
posted by tracert at 12:23 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

oooh, That's cool Astro Zombie!
posted by nickyskye at 12:23 PM on October 3, 2007

Lentrohamsanin: but Sigmund could be a neighbor too : >
posted by amberglow at 12:23 PM on October 3, 2007

I got stung by a jellyfish two weeks ago.

Fuck jellyfish.
posted by LordSludge at 12:24 PM on October 3, 2007

too bad they're all so expensive--so much of our coasts will be underwater really soon--we could use a solution.
posted by amberglow at 12:27 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Fuck jellyfish.

That would certainly explain getting stung.
posted by demagnetized at 12:31 PM on October 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hmm. Not to be an unpleasant cynic, but I'll believe these are feasible once I've actually seen one built.
posted by aramaic at 12:33 PM on October 3, 2007

Hmm. Not to be an unpleasant cynic, but I'll believe these are feasible once I've actually seen one built.

Seconded. the Jellyfish-45 was designed in 2003, the Trilobis in 2001. Neither has been built.

In fact, searching Zema's website and Google, I cannot find a single photograph of any completed designs of his, be they yachts, floating houses, or futuristic furniture. Which is curious, and a little suspicious.
posted by Chrischris at 12:40 PM on October 3, 2007

This is why I play Powerball.
posted by doctorschlock at 12:41 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Oh, man, we are so fucking close to living in the future. Wake me up when we get there.
posted by Bookhouse at 12:46 PM on October 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

One great big festering neon distraction,
I've a suggestion to keep you all occupied.

Learn to swim.Learn to swim.Learn to swim.
posted by Senator at 12:53 PM on October 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

Looks cool and all but didn't they try something like this in Bioshock? I'm short on funds right now so.... Would you kindly buy me one?
posted by Mastercheddaar at 12:55 PM on October 3, 2007

The images they've incorporated for the lower viewing deck are fabulous, but in places where these would actually be installed (i.e. off a dock, close to shore, so that electric power, water, and sewer are available) the underwater view will be distinctly underwhelming -- if you can see anything at all through cloudy water.

What you have here, when all is said and done, is a very expensive, round, houseboat. With a storage basement that has useless windows.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 12:56 PM on October 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

I think I prefer the Trilobis 65, which seems to have propellers.
posted by brownpau at 1:03 PM on October 3, 2007

So would it be correct to say that none of these have ever been built?
posted by Artw at 1:09 PM on October 3, 2007

With a storage basement that has useless windows...

... that would need to be cleaned constantly.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 1:11 PM on October 3, 2007

Obligatory
posted by CynicalKnight at 1:17 PM on October 3, 2007

Looks cool and all but didn't they try something like this in Bioshock?

Well, the city of Rapture was a bit more complex and rooted to the floor of the Atlantic...but I'm not sure how loose a comparison you were making.
posted by NationalKato at 1:27 PM on October 3, 2007

I grew up on the coast and got to watch cliff house after cliff house slide gracelessly into the sea as the cliffs were eroded out from underneath them. If Giancarlo Zema doesn't have the sense to factor that into the plans for the Neptus 60 Cliff Habitat then I can understand why there are no pictures of completed units. If the planner doesn't understand something so basic about the interaction of water and rock, there's no chance I'm going to trust his little toy boats.

Too bad really, 'cause they look neat.
posted by lekvar at 1:45 PM on October 3, 2007

What happens when you run out of milk?
posted by kuujjuarapik at 2:00 PM on October 3, 2007

Beware the mighty Septopus
What a dandy guy
He lives on top of the submarine
And he's always eating pies
posted by Smart Dalek at 2:05 PM on October 3, 2007

Actually, finding a good place to moor one of these could be tricky. They draw quite a lot of water, after all, because of that storage basement. So it needs to be far enough from shore so the water is deep enough for it, while not being in a traffic lane (to avoid collisions), and still close enough to shore so that utilities can be piped in.

And CPB is right, too. Unless the windows are covered with Teflon, they're going to build up algae and other gunk. And you'd need scuba gear to clean them. Ye Gods...
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 2:23 PM on October 3, 2007

What happens when you run out of milk?

Simple: keep a herd of sea cows; smart squid will do the milking and sea monkeys will fetch a quart each morning from the Trilobarn.
posted by rob511 at 2:40 PM on October 3, 2007

I wonder how deep we can pull these under; I bet when you cut them loose they would pop out of the water like a cork. I'm really liking the idea of submerging a bunch of these, you could then releasing them in some kind of syncopated ceremony, not unlike the famous fountain in Las Vegas.

I'd leave the families in, naturally. I'm sure they would want to participate.
posted by quin at 3:28 PM on October 3, 2007 [3 favorites]

releaseing, that is.
posted by quin at 3:30 PM on October 3, 2007

Why worry about weather when the availability of broadband should be the first consideration?
posted by Cranberry at 3:51 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Cranberry, I am designing an alternative house (on land though) and due to building codes and such there are only a few places I can do it unencumbered. I have had a very long and tiring argument with my wife about the broadband internet issue.

Also, regarding the 2.5 million dollar houseboat I have to wonder what the climate control arrangements are because it also looks like a greenhouse.
posted by localroger at 4:21 PM on October 3, 2007

"Homer, that's your answer for everything: Move under the sea. Well it's not gonna happen!"

"Not with that attitude."
posted by Flunkie at 4:46 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Puts a different light on leaks in the basement.
posted by bad grammar at 4:47 PM on October 3, 2007

Target market: people obsessed with keeping up with the Blofelds.
posted by donpedro at 4:59 PM on October 3, 2007 [2 favorites]

That basement room looks unusable for any purpose but sitting uncomfortably and looking out the windows. The designer doesn't seem to know the difference between a home and an airport lounge: in a home, people should be able to face each other.
posted by George_Spiggott at 5:42 PM on October 3, 2007

I am designing an alternative house (on land though) and due to building codes and such there are only a few places I can do it unencumbered.

Ooooh! use containers! (or Rural Studio stuff!)
posted by amberglow at 5:50 PM on October 3, 2007

amberglow: I will probably use one container, for staging area when I am starting the project and a shop when it's done. But most of it will be done with a new form of papercrete I've invented.
posted by localroger at 6:04 PM on October 3, 2007

They forgot one of the home's major selling points: no more frustrations, just friendly crustaceans!
posted by UbuRoivas at 6:18 PM on October 3, 2007

I want one. I do. As soon as I get my laser headed sharks, and some cabana boys to wear latex uniform, I am all over this.
posted by Peecabu at 6:57 PM on October 3, 2007

atoll fish is watching you masturbate.
posted by quonsar at 7:08 PM on October 3, 2007

Fish[-like mammals] watching you masturbate
posted by humannaire at 7:18 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

Jacques Cousteau's Conshelf I (1962), Conshelf II (1963), and Conshelf III (1965) experiments set the standard for underwater habitats. How can you beat the Starfish House, picture windows, a waterjet-powered diving saucer named Denise (with domed garage), a deep-sea cabin, flashy diving suits, 'greenhouses', and other amazing aquatic accoutrements?

There's more Conshelf photos, illustrations, and cutaways here. The best articles about these are in National Geographic magazine: At Home in the Sea (April 1964), and Working for Weeks on the Sea Floor (April 1966).

The deep sea's a lot more interesting (and accessible) than space. If only Cousteau's other underwater plans had worked out, what else might we have seen?
posted by cenoxo at 7:21 PM on October 3, 2007 [1 favorite]

There's crazy, and then there's crazy. As in "prime terrorist target" crazy.

There's also this.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 7:54 PM on October 3, 2007

Those windows under the surface are going to get scummy so quick... you best get some submarine pool boys on call.
posted by anthill at 7:56 PM on October 3, 2007

Metafilter: keeping up with the Blofelds
posted by Avenger at 9:07 PM on October 3, 2007

The day you had a party and got everybody on the top deck, somebody calls everybody over to one side to see something cool in the water or whatever, and the whole thing goes upside-down.

I have to say that if I knew anyone who had one of these Jellyfish things, I'd make it my personal mission to tip it over.
posted by Surfyournut at 4:35 AM on October 4, 2007

But most of it will be done with a new form of papercrete I've invented.

very cool! post pics or something in projects or on flickr when you're done or while it happens.


I have to say that if I knew anyone who had one of these Jellyfish things, I'd make it my personal mission to tip it over.

JellyfishWeebles wobble but they don't fall down : >
posted by amberglow at 4:13 PM on October 4, 2007

Wow! Can you imagine if there was this underwater hotel and some guys dedicated to blowing up - but not terrorists, terrorists are so 2001, more like anti-technology radical environmentalist Earth First-types - and Bruce Willis was in the neighborhood, not actually in the hotel, but like scuba diving nearby or near a nearby submarine that was being used by the bad guys, and then he got in their with the bad guys, who it turns out are planning on drowing everyone in the hotel because there is the Bigshot internet guy and all his main people (plus their important guests and even some celebrities, like maybe ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER! or maybe even VINCE VAUGHN or BOTH!!!, and there's sharks and all kinds of crazy sea creatures like dolphins and the whole thing just goes out of control, and there you have DIE HARD V. Bam!
posted by humannaire at 4:32 PM on October 4, 2007

Hydropolis. Wow. Straight outta Bioshock.

This is supposed to be videogame material.
posted by LordSludge at 8:45 AM on October 5, 2007

Have you actually played Bioshock, LordSludge?

Because while it was an unconscious decision, I was not going to include sea creature-carrying child hosts, or their manufactured behemoth zombies caretakers.

That is unless you are offering to buy my treatment for Die Hard V: Under Pressure. Then we can add whatever you want.
posted by humannaire at 8:31 PM on October 5, 2007