Sad Books Are Bad Books

October 7, 2007 8:18 PM

The Happy Endings Foundation aims to eradicate sad thoughts from all literature.
posted by carsonb (45 comments total)

Why did I think this post was going to be about massages?
posted by Frank Grimes at 8:21 PM on October 7, 2007

The name of the foundation strikes me as being one that might be better suited to a guild of masseuses.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 8:22 PM on October 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

This will not end well.
posted by zenzizi at 8:22 PM on October 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

"The Foundation" translates into Arabic as "Al Quaeda"

_{And "The Happy Endings Foundation" translates to "النهايات السعيدة مؤسسة", according to Google. I have no idea how to pronounce that, though}
posted by delmoi at 8:22 PM on October 7, 2007

This will not end well.

Depends where you go.
posted by ten pounds of inedita at 8:24 PM on October 7, 2007

Spoof.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 8:25 PM on October 7, 2007

I just can't wait to see what they do with The Diary of Anne Frank.
posted by FelliniBlank at 8:25 PM on October 7, 2007

If some were to masturbate me to orgasm, I think I could deal with not reading the end of Old Yeller.
posted by Astro Zombie at 8:25 PM on October 7, 2007 [4 favorites]

*taps foot*
posted by Poolio at 8:26 PM on October 7, 2007

A fake site.
posted by BClady at 8:28 PM on October 7, 2007

I was all lolz until the gerbil thing - eating books is likely to poison the poor guys.
posted by Ryvar at 8:30 PM on October 7, 2007

-Oh Rhett, Rhett! Oh, Rhett, where will I go? What'll I do?
-Frankly my dear, I love you. Let's remarry.

Didn't that movie used to have a war in it?
posted by ALongDecember at 8:33 PM on October 7, 2007 [2 favorites]

I honestly can't tell if this is real or not.
posted by davidmsc at 8:33 PM on October 7, 2007

Funny thing – this web site is actually depressing. Unless it’s fake, in which case it’s the least funny joke ever. And if it’s not meant as a joke, then I have no idea what the hell it is.

Maybe I’m thinking about it too hard. Or is that the point?
posted by tepidmonkey at 8:34 PM on October 7, 2007

Spoof.

Gotta be. Pretty well done one, though, more subtle than expected. Here's my favorite spoof site, that maybe some folks out there haven't come across yet: Black People Love Us.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:34 PM on October 7, 2007

Not slick enough to be fake. If it were fake, you'd think someone would put more effort into it.
posted by rottytooth at 8:34 PM on October 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

-Open the pod bay doors, Hal.
-Allright, Dave.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:37 PM on October 7, 2007 [4 favorites]

If it were fake, you'd think someone would put more effort into it.

I think that's exactly the point. It has the look and feel of something, er... real. I'd say they put a lot of effort into making it look like that.
posted by flapjax at midnite at 8:38 PM on October 7, 2007

May I suggest everything ever written by Edith Wharton?
posted by forallmankind at 8:44 PM on October 7, 2007

I honestly can't tell if this is real or not.

Here's a hint: Click on the "disclaimer" link at the bottom of the page. ;)
posted by amyms at 8:54 PM on October 7, 2007

Bah. It's a marketing stunt for Lemony Snicket:
http://www.inkygirl.com/happy-endings-foundation-a-book-marketing-ploy/
posted by ManInSuit at 9:05 PM on October 7, 2007

From the site:So we are thinking about setting up a new daily paper that only brings the positive side of news stories.

I would buy this paper.
"In world news, a tidal wave yesterday killed a mere 0.005% of the world's population."
"Flu virus 'In no danger of extinction,' elated scientists report."
"In local news, alleged arsonist A. Tigris, released on a technicality last week, is optimistic that his next fire will be the biggest and prettiest yet."
"Corrupt politician points out that from a utilitarian standpoint, allowing taxpayers to fund his vacation 'was the only ethical choice.'"

Cute site.
posted by solotoro at 9:05 PM on October 7, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'm gonna come on the side of : as marketing stunts go, this is sort of an unpleasant one. The ad agency for publishers of a pretty massively financially successful book series seek to increase sales by creating a fake controversy around the books. Sure it's done w. some wit and some humour, but it was also done w. real intention to deceive ("Clare Hughes" did interviews with several newspapers, which covered the story as true).

I dunno, for me this crosses the line from "funny media prank" into "icky marketing lies" (a sort of reverse astroturf).
posted by ManInSuit at 9:17 PM on October 7, 2007

Related
posted by carsonb at 9:19 PM on October 7, 2007

Disney did this to "Hunchback of Notre Dame", didn't they?

They also managed the amazing feat of making Quasimodo cute and cuddly.
posted by Steven C. Den Beste at 9:51 PM on October 7, 2007

They'll never pull it off.
posted by Abiezer at 10:30 PM on October 7, 2007

This will not end well.

This will end well.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 11:25 PM on October 7, 2007 [1 favorite]

Daddy was shot through the heart. He was 43.

Mommy was shot in the head and chest. She was 41.

Aunt Huda was shot in the chest. She was 27.

My sister Nour was shot in the right side of her head. She was 15.

My sister Saba was shot through the ear. She was 11.

My brother Muhammad was shot in the hand and I don't know where else. He was 10.

My sister Zainab was shot in the hand and the head. She was five.

posted by dirigibleman at 11:49 PM on October 7, 2007

Vladimir: Hello, Mr. Godot, how's it going?
Estragon: And I see you remembered to bring some brie!
posted by Kattullus at 12:25 AM on October 8, 2007 [3 favorites]

Ugliest site in the world. Well done.
posted by triv at 5:33 AM on October 8, 2007

The really sad part about this is that, even if it is a marketing stunt, somebody's going to think it's a just-plain-super idea and get inspired to start a movement like this on their own...
posted by StacieGlassman at 7:16 AM on October 8, 2007

In the new version he still loves Big Brother.
posted by ardgedee at 7:34 AM on October 8, 2007

OK, I know it's just a marketing stunt (and I'm OK with that, especially since the stunt seems in the character of the books themselves), but as a fan of the books, I can't leave this unremarked:

"She plans to rewrite all 13 Lemony Snicket books to give them happy endings."

If you rewrite the first one to have a happy ending, then books 2-13 are unnecessary.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 7:49 AM on October 8, 2007

Det. Couljian: Hang on a second. Verbal, are you Kaiser Sose?
Verbal Kent: Yeah! How'd you guess!
DC: I was just in the kitchen cleaning out my coffee mug!
VK: Clever! Welp, I guess it's jail for me, eh?
DC: 'fraid so.
VK: Bully!

Fade to Black
posted by shmegegge at 8:54 AM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I knew it was a fake when I saw they had The Snowman as a recommended happy ending read.
posted by penguinliz at 9:09 AM on October 8, 2007

(a sort of reverse astroturf).

I'm not getting the 'reverse' part.
posted by lodurr at 10:00 AM on October 8, 2007

Normally, an astroturf group is a fake group that supports the product/cause/position you are trying to hype. In this case the fake group (THEF) opposes the product being pitched (The LS books). So that's the reverse part.

The more I think about this, the more it rubs me the wrong way. Apparently, the books have sold something like 25 million copies so far. Do they really have to trick reporters into running false stories in order to increase sales further? Maybe I'm just being a grouch about this... Does anyone else feel this way?
posted by ManInSuit at 10:08 AM on October 8, 2007

OK, I was just thinking about the money and where it comes from. I don't really think of astroturfing as "supporting", inherently, since most of the astroturf campaigns I can recall have been oppositional, not constructive. But they were also pretty direct: "We oppose Kerry" [logical outcome: more support for Bush]. This is reverse psychology. (Or reductio ad absurdum if you prefer.)
posted by lodurr at 10:14 AM on October 8, 2007

It makes me a little concerned that reporters didn't figure it out ... but the whole thing is sort of unnecessary and irritating. So I'm with you, ManInSuit.
posted by ClaudiaCenter at 10:30 AM on October 8, 2007

lodurr - yeah, in terms of the money and where it comes from, it's just plain old astroturf, no reverse necessary...
posted by ManInSuit at 10:46 AM on October 8, 2007

Disney did this to "Hunchback of Notre Dame", didn't they?

Disney also did this to the ant and the grasshopper. In a coloring book, but still.

The ant feels sorry for the freezing grasshopper and invites him down the ant hole where the freeloading grasshopper plays fiddle and tells amusing stories to while away the long winter nights.

Wonder how that would have gone over a hundred years ago.
posted by IndigoJones at 11:47 AM on October 8, 2007

Shane: Hey kid, I'm back!
posted by cog_nate at 2:20 PM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Little Bill: I don't deserve to die. I'm building a house!
Will Munny: [thinks for a minute, then lowers his rifle] Sorry, Sherrif. Don't know what came over me. Must have been the whiskey.
posted by lodurr at 2:33 PM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

Harry: Ma, why don/t you come live with me an Marion? We/re getting married, she/s starting her store in March, and Tyrone/s gonna help out too. We/ll take good care of you.
posted by carsonb at 3:52 PM on October 8, 2007

- What's in the box, what's in the box?!
- It's a birthday cake your wife and I baked for you.
posted by porpoise at 4:15 PM on October 8, 2007