50 best breasts

October 8, 2007 8:54 PM

In honor of National Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here are the 50 best breasts in movie history.
posted by mr_crash_davis (61 comments total)

Too safe for work.
posted by rolypolyman at 8:59 PM on October 8, 2007

Thank god it wasn't an odd number.
posted by itchylick at 9:00 PM on October 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

No Angelina Jolie?
posted by Poolio at 9:02 PM on October 8, 2007

Heather Graham is also conspicuously absent from the list.
posted by Poolio at 9:06 PM on October 8, 2007

mr. crash davis, i will enjoy this post for the rest of the week. i'm rocking out with gogol bordello right now, but i will have this post for breakfast.
posted by vrakatar at 9:13 PM on October 8, 2007

No Kate Winslet?! Heresy!
posted by Asparagirl at 9:18 PM on October 8, 2007

Dorothy Dandridge. Yum.
posted by Iron Rat at 9:22 PM on October 8, 2007

do you like boobs a lot?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:26 PM on October 8, 2007

What, no Phoebe Cates in Fast Times...???
posted by DieHipsterDie at 9:29 PM on October 8, 2007

Pyramid Termite, I hope that's a troll, because if you seriously think metafilter as a whole want to look at badly drawn enormous breasted furry porn, you are mistaken.
posted by Calast at 9:33 PM on October 8, 2007

What, no Phoebe Cates in Fast Times...???

I don't know that I'd say she had the best boobs, but that's definitely one of the top 50 boob scenes in movie history (#1 probably).
posted by Poolio at 9:36 PM on October 8, 2007

Why only 50? Because two more could kill ya.
posted by hal9k at 9:38 PM on October 8, 2007

Pyramid Termite, I hope that's a troll

no, it's the fugs, dude - unfortunately, i couldn't find a furry free version of them doing this

still, it's hardly alien to their attitude, is it?
posted by pyramid termite at 9:39 PM on October 8, 2007

Thanks for raising my awareness.
posted by horsewithnoname at 9:40 PM on October 8, 2007

The fact that many women have chosen not to have necessary surgery for breast cancer, fearing that they would no longer be a woman without a breast (or part of a breast) and thus died prematurely because of it - makes this post to be in very poor taste. Not that many men will agree with me.
posted by spock at 9:59 PM on October 8, 2007 [22 favorites]

From the article:

Thanks to Howard Hughes’ infantile preoccupation with bosoms

Said without apparent irony.
posted by George_Spiggott at 10:00 PM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

pyramid termite, that was awesome. Meaning that it inspires terror and overwhelms the senses, but still.
posted by maryh at 10:00 PM on October 8, 2007

Uma Thurman in Dangerous Liaisons
posted by strawberryviagra at 10:01 PM on October 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

spock is probably right.

*slinks back into the gutter*
posted by Poolio at 10:15 PM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

The fact that many women have chosen not to have necessary surgery for breast cancer, fearing that they would no longer be a woman without a breast (or part of a breast) and thus died prematurely because of it - makes this post to be in very poor taste.

Poor choices on the part of some people do not make for poor taste on the part of others. I was expecting the usual objectification argument, but blaming boob-lovers for breast cancer deaths? C'mon.
posted by Rykey at 10:18 PM on October 8, 2007

Every day is Breast Awareness Day.

Breast Cancer Awareness?
Oh. Ok.
posted by jouke at 10:26 PM on October 8, 2007

I am not so idealistic as to deny the objectification of female breast exists (particularly in the U.S.). But to purposely pair it with a pseudo-nod to Breast Cancer Awareness Month takes real chutzpah. How you get that I'm blaming boob-lovers for breast cancer deaths displays a serious lack of reading comprehension. Try to keep the conversations going on inside your head from being projected upon others. Heh, heh! He said "pair"!
posted by spock at 10:26 PM on October 8, 2007

I was expecting the usual objectification argument, but blaming boob-lovers for breast cancer deaths? C'mon.

He wasn't blaming boob-lovers, he was blaming the objectification.
posted by Poolio at 10:27 PM on October 8, 2007

In honor of Breast Cancer Awareness Month, here are some articles on the very real fears the many women with breast cancer must face due to body image issues (as well-illustrated in this FPP). See also: Breast cancer in men.
posted by spock at 10:41 PM on October 8, 2007 [1 favorite]

I like boobies. I like them a lot.

Cancer sucks, though.

Were it to come to a vote, I'd pledge allegiance to boobs.

Cancer can go fuck itself.

Which is to say; Fuck cancer. I like boobs.
posted by quin at 10:48 PM on October 8, 2007

It's a little-known fact that breast cancer occurs in men. So here's some moobs to balance the foregoing.
posted by rob511 at 10:53 PM on October 8, 2007

How you get that I'm blaming boob-lovers for breast cancer deaths displays a serious lack of reading comprehension. Try to keep the conversations going on inside your head from being projected upon others.

Wow, now I don't feel so immature for being a boob-lover.
posted by Rykey at 11:12 PM on October 8, 2007

(spock, whatever you do, don't look at the tags, just don't. you have been warned!)
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:42 PM on October 8, 2007

Spock, thanks for the "Mirror Image" link.
posted by teem at 11:52 PM on October 8, 2007

Scientists discover the formula for perfect breasts
posted by cosmac at 12:05 AM on October 9, 2007

That movie list is bunk. It's missing Anita Eckberg in La Dolce Vita.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 2:13 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Missing golden bozos tag.
posted by psmealey at 2:23 AM on October 9, 2007

Spock is right.

Losing your boobs to an awful life threatening illness? Why, these'll cheer you up!

Either link on its own would be fine. Heck, I'll be forwarding the second one to my boob-loving guy.
posted by tiny crocodile at 2:28 AM on October 9, 2007

metafilter: want to look at badly drawn enormous breasted furry porn?
posted by bashos_frog at 3:20 AM on October 9, 2007

The writer was really straining for synonyms by the end there. There are only so many ways to rephrase "This woman has large and shapely breasts."
posted by Faint of Butt at 3:23 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

For a rather more serious look at the issue - how to be breast-aware:

http://www.videojug.com/tag/breast-cancer
posted by muggsy1079 at 3:24 AM on October 9, 2007

I'm just glad Jennifer Connelly's out there, you know? She can keep making movies for just as long as she wants. God bless her and the twins.
posted by EatTheWeek at 4:29 AM on October 9, 2007

I thought Julie Andrews' in (her hubby!) Blake Edwards' S.O.B. were not quite up to the hype at the time (and there was a fair amount of hype, as I recall...hey, this was the lady who'd played a nun and Mary Poppins, fer cryin' out loud!), but the entire scene in which it happens is fairly hilarious.
posted by pax digita at 4:33 AM on October 9, 2007

The good news is that perfectly-shaped breasts don't get cancer. Serious. It's a science-fact.

When colon cancer awareness month comes around you'd better post on the 50 biggest assholes in Hollywood.
posted by SassHat at 4:51 AM on October 9, 2007 [3 favorites]

Hey, Peter, man! Check out Channel 9! Check out this chick!
posted by Cookiebastard at 5:02 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Losing your boobs to an awful life threatening illness? Why, these'll cheer you up!

That's certainly one way to look at it. Another way would be, "You know those divine, unrivaled attributes of the female form? They're under attack by a terrible illness that is far too common. Let's support *ahem* efforts to eradicate this threat!"
posted by Rykey at 5:20 AM on October 9, 2007

Spock has well articulated why this post is trash; it appears the difference between Digg and Metafilter is that on MeFi we tag on a throw-away link to the NBCAM site before we get to the boobs.

The tags on this FPP make intentions plain - blech.
posted by coolhappysteve at 5:41 AM on October 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

What, no Meatloaf in The Fight Club?
posted by dances_with_sneetches at 5:50 AM on October 9, 2007

I hate stupid OMG TITT1EZ posts as much as the next tit-having gal, but did you look at the Film Threat site? It's actually a pretty impressive collection of film clips and the weird breast cancer juxtaposition (which I do think is a little weird but hey whatever works) was their creation, not mcd's. If breast cancer awareness just means saying "man I would miss those boobs if they were gone, cancer sucks" that seems a small step in the right direction. Get your mammograms, ladies.
posted by jessamyn at 6:12 AM on October 9, 2007

Breasts are for children. Back that ass up.
posted by four panels at 6:43 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Someone remind me when it's Holocaust Remembrance Day so I can get together some YouTube clips of the best mass murder scenes depicted on film.

But I'll include a link to the Simon Wiesenthal Center at the top because then, you know, it won't be fucking tasteless at all.

Bad analogy. If this OP linked to video clips of horrendous breast cancer case studies, then your analogy would be consistent. By the same token, If a Holocaust Remembrance Day site featured "Fuck You, Hitler: 50 Greatest Jews in History" videos that featured less-than-somber Jews (e.g., Groucho Marx), it would be no disrespect to Holocaust victims, but a tribute to the spirit of greatness in the face of horrible persecution.

Look, the linked site is irreverent and panders to infantile fixations, no doubt about it. But let's keep this in perspective. And yes, I do know people who have been affected by breast cancer-- my mother died of it, and two of my sisters have it.
posted by Rykey at 6:51 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

And you think the way to celebrate that is a retrospective of really nice tits?

What I think is that this post isn't as tasteless and offensive to everyone as some people feel it is, that's all. Film Threat did this, it wouldn't have been my choice but as a collection of clips, it's interesting. Did cancer.org get a few more clickthroughs as a resut of this? Probably. That's useful. Breast cancer prevention and maintenance is all about early detection and awareness as well a learning how to support people who have to deal with it, either personally or through their connection with a loved one who has it.

Could Film Threat have been more serious about it? Sure. Would something like this do a better job because of the "OMG hot girls lose breasts too!" factor? Maybe. Unless you think FT is just having a laugh at the expense of women with cancer perhaps? As I'm sure you know, for people already dealing with breast cancer, the rest of their lives are Breast Cancer Awareness Months, so this is clearly aimed at people who maybe aren't already dealing with this, or maybe haven't thought about it much... yet.

I'm actually "celebrating" NBCAM by having lunch with my Mom who has breast cancer (which, hey, puts me in a high risk group too!). The whole point of NBCAM -- just like Coming Out Day -- is pointing out just how many lives are affected by it and point people towards resources for getting help, support, advice and medical information as well as urging people to work towards cures and solutions so that women and the people who love and care about them don't live with a sense of shame or timidity when dealing with a deadly disease.
posted by jessamyn at 7:11 AM on October 9, 2007

One of my best friends has breasts.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 7:54 AM on October 9, 2007

I find the most erotic part of a woman is the boobies. (/brannigan)
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 8:09 AM on October 9, 2007

XQUZYPHYR, you're missing my point. I think jessamyn gets it though.

I'm not arguing that Film Threat's tribute to great breasts is some sincere, principled effort to mobilize people in the fight. And if I thought their intention was to belittle breast cancer survivors, I would find it offensive. But I think that humor (yes, even dark, irreverent humor) is one vehicle among many to address an issue, as self-serving as it may be at times (and make no mistake, many of the "genuine" advocates are just as self-serving as Film Threat) SEE Winfrey, Oprah; Couric, Katie; Bush, Laura).

Talk to some survivors of breast cancer. I think the diversity of opinion you'll find will surprise you. My sisters with breast cancer, for example, think the linked site is hilarious, and that anyone who takes the site too seriously is a little uptight. Other people obviously find it offensive. That's not to say my sisters' opinion of the site is more valuable than anyone else's by virtue of their having cancer; my point is that it's disingenuous to advocate on the side of some constructed idea of "survivors" when there is, in fact, such a diversity of opinion out there among the actual survivors.
posted by Rykey at 8:13 AM on October 9, 2007

Tasteless. Thank you to XQUZYPHYR for speaking up.
posted by agregoli at 8:21 AM on October 9, 2007

Here's another plate of boobs for you to overthink.
posted by casarkos at 8:37 AM on October 9, 2007

These clips are so blurred and of such poor quality that they would make the most beautiful breasts in the world look like cottage cheese. A truly sad tribute to our bosoms, really.
posted by misha at 9:36 AM on October 9, 2007

MetaFilter: Fark.
posted by The Bellman at 9:40 AM on October 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

Metafilter: If you want to post a link about nice tits, post a link about nice tits.
posted by psmealey at 9:47 AM on October 9, 2007

Seven years ago, I lost my mother to breast cancer. I'm pretty certain that she'd have had no objections whatsoever to this post. On the contrary, she'd have enjoyed it, objected to some of the selections, and had proposals of her own.

Is it intended to appeal to the lowest common denominator? Absolutely -- that's the point. If that's what it takes to persuade people to think/talk about the issue, then that's what it takes. A worthy piece that fails to seize the imagination simply wouldn't have been posted to Metafilter, and this discussion wouldn't be happening at all. So, feel free to take the moral high ground, but please don't delude yourself that that's the best way to reach as many people as possible with your critically important public health messages.

Also: No Jennifer Aniston? WTF!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:41 AM on October 9, 2007

Who here is talking about the issue? We've had barely any posts about breast cancer here at all.

I would have more respect for this post if it didn't have any mention of breast cancer at all.

And I find the tags on this thread utterly demeaning and pathetic. What's wrong with just "breasts" as a tag? Why all the childish slang terms? This place is more like Fark by the day.
posted by agregoli at 12:05 PM on October 9, 2007

Where's Susan Sarandon?
posted by cazoo at 1:35 PM on October 9, 2007

great googly moogly!

people will complain about anything.

i, too, lost my mom to breast cancer 7 years ago. now, she wouldn't have found these funny -- but, that's because she was a humorless, broken woman. she didn't find anything funny (and that was true for 20 years before she got breast cancer).

i'm the one who flew with her all over the country for her experimental treatments and such. i met all kinds of women -- and not a few men -- dealing with breast cancer. EVERY one of them was insightful, wise and capable of seeing humor even in the midst of their pain.

honestly, i enjoyed this post *in their honor.*

i'm not saying you're wrong if you find it tasteless. and, if you do find it tasteless, chances are you're a victim/survivor or know someone who is -- and my thoughts and prayers go out to you.

but, please remember -- sober recollection and nose-to-the-grindstone activism are not the only "correct" responses to breast cancer.

so, i (and my 44DD's) say: thanks for this post.

(and, i agree with cazoo...where the HELL is susan sarandon??!?!??!??!?!?)
posted by CitizenD at 1:56 PM on October 9, 2007

Wow. This thread is a much bigger downer than I thought it was gonna be.
posted by callmejay at 7:06 PM on October 9, 2007

Is it intended to appeal to the lowest common denominator? Absolutely -- that's the point. If that's what it takes to persuade people to think/talk about the issue, then that's what it takes. A worthy piece that fails to seize the imagination simply wouldn't have been posted to Metafilter, and this discussion wouldn't be happening at all. So, feel free to take the moral high ground, but please don't delude yourself that that's the best way to reach as many people as possible with your critically important public health messages.

Good point. In that light, I propose an International Topless Day as an effective way of raising awareness.

Following the successful model used by all those other novelty charity days, people should be encouraged to go to work topless on the chosen date, or else buy some sort of boob-related accessory as a voluntary 'fine' for not having bared one's breasts, with the proceeds going to an appropriate charity.
posted by UbuRoivas at 8:52 PM on October 9, 2007