im in ur bibul, rewritin teh Scripchur

October 8, 2007 11:40 PM

It's 10 o'clock. Do you know where your cats are? They might be off helping to translate the Old and New Testaments of Teh Holiez Bibul.

Yep, just when you thought you'd seen it all in LOLCat, now there's the LOLCat Bible Translation Project. Because teh kittehs can has holinez too.

posted by fuse theorem (45 comments total)

:(
posted by Avenger at 11:45 PM on October 8, 2007

LOLNewYorkerCartoon
posted by Poolio at 11:49 PM on October 8, 2007

Yep, just when you thought you'd seen it all in LOLCat

OH MY GOD YOU FOUND MORE LOLCAT! THANK YOU THANK YOU VERY MUCH. THAT'S JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. SOME MORE STUPID FUCKING LOLCATS.


*starts breaking furniture*
posted by eyeballkid at 11:50 PM on October 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

IM IN UR FPP
BITCHIN ABOUT LOLCATS
posted by Poolio at 11:53 PM on October 8, 2007 [10 favorites]

And then when the Bible is fully translated into this lolcat pidgin, what happens then? What do you do with the finished product? Hope that one day Christian missionaries discover an island inhabited by talking cats that need saving?
posted by tepidmonkey at 11:56 PM on October 8, 2007 [7 favorites]

I am going to kill you, and then me.
posted by blacklite at 11:58 PM on October 8, 2007 [2 favorites]

Hai! Teh blessigs of teh ceiling cat b pwn u, lol!

The Book of Job is my fave so far...
posted by nickyskye at 12:02 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

What the hell? I thought it was going to be a picture book.
posted by iamkimiam at 12:07 AM on October 9, 2007

I'm in ur heavin, rainin' holy rath.
posted by po at 12:12 AM on October 9, 2007

i propose we make this an "invisible LOLcat post."
posted by Hat Maui at 12:25 AM on October 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

Finally, a Bible translation that reach the lost on Metafilter.

GOD PWNS U AND CAN HAS WUNNERFUL PLAN FOR UR BUCKET!!!!
posted by dw at 12:28 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

Old style LOLCATS, now with cross hatching.
posted by maryh at 12:39 AM on October 9, 2007

CAN AH HAZ SAHLVAYSHUN?

I think every reference to God in the LOLCAT translation should be replaced by Ceiling Cat.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:12 AM on October 9, 2007

For those of you reaching for your mental floss hoping to get the LOLCATS out of your cerebellum, here's WWII as a MMORPG.

Hitler[AoE]: tojo help me!
T0J0: wtf u want me to do, im on the other side of the world retard
Hitler[AoE]: fine ill clear you a path
Stalin: WTF u arsshoel! WE HAD A FoCKIN TRUCE
Hitler[AoE]: i changed my mind lol
benny-tow: haha
posted by ZachsMind at 1:17 AM on October 9, 2007

I think every reference to God in the LOLCAT translation should be replaced by Ceiling Cat.

It is! See Genesis for confirmation.

And Ecclesiastes comes out particularly well:

"St00pid! St00pid!" Sez teh teechurcat. "Srsly st00pid. Everythingz ghey."

So true!
posted by low_horrible_immoral at 1:30 AM on October 9, 2007

LOLCATXTIANS
posted by gurple at 2:23 AM on October 9, 2007

OH HAI I UPGRADED UR DEAD LAZARUS
posted by darkripper at 2:39 AM on October 9, 2007 [6 favorites]

And then when the Bible is fully translated into this lolcat pidgin, what happens then?

They move on to the Koran.
posted by furiousxgeorge at 2:51 AM on October 9, 2007

IM IN YOUR HEVVEN DUING UR VURGINS
posted by vbfg at 2:59 AM on October 9, 2007

@maryh - Those comics FTW! (seriously, I spent my insomnia looking through them, great stuff!)
posted by phyrewerx at 3:20 AM on October 9, 2007

Y'know, I love lolcats. Love 'em as much as anybody, but isn't the whole point the juxtaposition of absurdist captions with adorable pictures?
posted by EarBucket at 3:27 AM on October 9, 2007

They move on to the Koran.

Could they please do that now? I mean, it's clearly much more important. Srsly. Goddamn muslim's have got no sense of humor about their damn book or their damn prophet. Oughta make it a picture book while they're at it...
posted by lodurr at 3:44 AM on October 9, 2007

Y'know, I love lolcats. Love 'em as much as anybody, but isn't the whole point the juxtaposition of absurdist captions with adorable pictures?

Maybe originally. But now it's clearly just cute. And in that offensive manner of the fatlady in your office who has photos of other peoples' babies on her desk. Look closely, because she also will have a calendar that's basically lolcats bullshit-- a cat looking away from the camera with the caption "I don't do Mondays" or a shih tsu with a bonnet on asking "how can I be overdrawn? I still have checks left!" Those are "absurdist" captions too.
posted by Mayor Curley at 3:46 AM on October 9, 2007

o/ <-- Mohammed says Hi.
posted by public at 4:01 AM on October 9, 2007

GTFO! Previously
posted by BeerFilter at 4:30 AM on October 9, 2007

On the internet, first they came for the cats, And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a cat;
And then they came for the 80s, And I didn't speak up because I wasn't an 80s pop star;
And then they came for the theists; And I didn't speak up because I wasn't a theist.
And then, they comez 4 me, And by thiz time we woz all LOLcreatures.

WHEN WILL IT END.
MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP.


K THX BYE.
posted by sien at 4:36 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

LODURR, I C FATWA COMIN UR WAI. DO NOT WANT!
posted by fuse theorem at 6:20 AM on October 9, 2007 [2 favorites]

I know it's not either a) big or b) clever, but c) I love it!
posted by triv at 6:22 AM on October 9, 2007

I'm in your brain like a virus, whispering, "If you want to live forever, you'll have to murder for me."
posted by four panels at 6:39 AM on October 9, 2007

the problem with the lolcats schtick is that it just doesn't translate well to sentences that are more than two simple independent clauses.

Or:

I'm in ur grammar, komplicatin ur joakz.
posted by lodurr at 7:12 AM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]

fuse_theorem: KTHXBAI!
posted by lodurr at 7:13 AM on October 9, 2007

DO NOT WANT.
posted by Foosnark at 7:26 AM on October 9, 2007

10 An' he said, i heard yo voice in da garden, an' i wuz scurrd, because i wuz nakd and stuff; an' i hide-did.

11 An' he said, hoo told joo dat joo wast nakd? I was enjoying watching you. hast thou eaten ov teh tree, dat I dun commandd joo dat joo should not eated from?

12 An' teh man said, teh woman joo gave me saw teh tree and told me 'bout it. At first I was liek "Noes!" but then, I eated it.

Okay, I like the Genesis, but I agree, this needs to be illustrated.

Someone get right on that.*

*I nominate Fandango Matt. I remember his cool Cortex tiger!
posted by misha at 8:17 AM on October 9, 2007

Mankind has jumped the shark, everyone. It's all downhill from here.
posted by Krrrlson at 9:19 AM on October 9, 2007

[envisions lolcat with pompadour in leather jacket on invisible waterskis]
posted by lodurr at 10:06 AM on October 9, 2007

LOLcats sans cats is just leet speak.

DO YOU WANT KARATE? Just isn't has funny on it's own.
posted by butterstick at 10:22 AM on October 9, 2007

I know now what I must do. The internet must be stopped.
posted by aubilenon at 10:36 AM on October 9, 2007

i really get a kick out of seeing you anti-LOLwhatever folks have an anurysm everytime another one gets posted.

yay! stomp out the LOLtrolls!

(altho at least poolio seems to have a sense of humor about it today....)
posted by CitizenD at 1:37 PM on October 9, 2007

I'm normally a fairly grumpy SOB, but iz likes em locats.

hey, even quonsar likes lolcats.
posted by lodurr at 1:46 PM on October 9, 2007

Matthew 1:18-19

18. Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph were all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had PENIS GOES WHERE?, Mary was all preggy from the Holey Ghosty.

19. Joseph was all liek "Oh snap, dis embarrassin. I's gonna hide mah wife".
posted by RedEmma at 2:55 PM on October 9, 2007

[this is horrible]
posted by revfitz at 3:39 PM on October 9, 2007

Confession: The Bible makes more sense to me in LOLCAT than any other language. Srsly.
posted by nickyskye at 4:13 PM on October 9, 2007

"Joseph was all liek 'Oh snap'."

There's a guy I know who actually says "oh snap!" where you or I might use an expletive. And I mean all the time. I had no idea he was speaking in lolcat. I thought he was just creeping me out with his cuss lackage.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:15 PM on October 9, 2007

Ah haz 2 agreed wit NickySkye. Bibul maikz wit teh morr centz in lolcat. Oh Snap! It rulz lik Sol'mun d00dz.
posted by ZachsMind at 6:19 PM on October 9, 2007

There's a guy I know who actually says "oh snap!" where you or I might use an expletive. And I mean all the time. I had no idea he was speaking in lolcat. I thought he was just creeping me out with his cuss lackage.

Well, he may have cuss lackage but his usage is appropriate and common, according to the learned authorities at urbandictionary. The term goes back a lot farther than I realized.

Of course, now "oh, snap" is all watered down as an invective, having appeared in an unlikely TV commercial. The LOLCats are behind the curve on this one.
posted by fuse theorem at 8:08 PM on October 9, 2007