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October 9, 2007 10:46 PM   Subscribe

Murder And The Masseuse. Jenny went into the massage business—actual massage, not a euphemism for selling sex—after she nearly murdered her boss.
posted by amyms (39 comments total) 2 users marked this as a favorite

 
I think its because we live in a pretty safe society that we would use the words nearly murdered to describe this story.
posted by Rubbstone at 10:55 PM on October 9, 2007


This FPP makes me want to spend time on massage-based community websites instead.
posted by felix betachat at 11:03 PM on October 9, 2007


This FPP just makes me want a massage.
posted by flaterik at 11:09 PM on October 9, 2007


This FPP just makes me want a massage.

Well, you could call Jenny (the masseuse in the article). I'll bet her number is 867-5309. ;)
posted by amyms at 11:12 PM on October 9, 2007 [2 favorites]


In all seriousness, though... As a woman who has been the target of murder-inducing sexual comments from men (and I'm not talking about "normal" repartee or "normal" flirtatiousness, which are both fine by me), I think getting into the massage business (or maybe boxing) would be a great way of working out latent frustrations.
posted by amyms at 11:16 PM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


Geez. And to think I could've just started up a career as a massage therapist instead of having to deal with all of those corpses under my garage. Huh. Good to know for future reference.
posted by miss lynnster at 11:19 PM on October 9, 2007 [6 favorites]


Unhappy ending.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:23 PM on October 9, 2007 [1 favorite]


not a euphemism for selling sex

Stopped reading there.
posted by Clave at 11:56 PM on October 9, 2007


good story, I don't like massage...I hate that a stranger touches me
posted by drift85 at 12:00 AM on October 10, 2007


I just don't see anything in this article to suggest that she "nearly murdered" anyone. Since when is running from a room in order to calm down even remotely close to killing someone? I guess I'm supposed to notice some sort of parallel between the benign violence of the massage and the less-friendly violence of the murder that "nearly" happened, but the "nearly murdered" thing? I don't see it.
"A woman who got into the massage business to avoid a homicide rap"? What?
There's every chance I'm misunderstanding something very important here, but it feels as though the article I'm reading is missing all the bits where "a homicide rap" and "murder" are linked to a woman who switched jobs because she had an especially shitty boss.
posted by bunglin jones at 12:16 AM on October 10, 2007


No one suspects the slightly built softly spoken tea drinking 50 something English women until it's too late.
posted by stavrogin at 12:22 AM on October 10, 2007


As a female, certified massage therapist, I found this article to be rather anticlimatic. Wow. She got angry at her boss. I'm sure she once got angry at one of her massage clients.
posted by Titania at 12:22 AM on October 10, 2007


One afternoon in 1984 someone who had been repeatedly verbally abusive to me, said something particularly vicious. As they left the room I visualized killing them. Nothing was expressed externally but it was a horrible shock to experience that kind of anger, that level. In an instant I was humbled by the thought that I was little different than those people in prison for murder because I had committed such a heinous crime in my thoughts.

I broke off communicating with that person and since then have felt differently about people who committed actual murder because I knew what that anger could feel like. They acted out on that anger, I did not but the thought was there.

I don't think confronting certain types of abusers is either safe or in one's own best interests. Some abusers can be seriously sick, sadistic and may create a smear campaign or other sabotage. It's better to make a savvy and strategic exit when one has realised one is dealing with an abuser.

Massaging others is not a healthy way of releasing that kind of anger at all. Quite the reverse.

I think learning to see and label verbal, emotional, psychological or physical abuse is important, disconnect when possible from all contact with the abuser. Detox by releasing the anger in an arena where the anger can be safely expressed, like in therapy, among other recovery friends working on similar issues, primal therapy, doing breathwork or in the gym practising martial arts/boxing.

And then make the deliberate choice to be around people who are not verbally or otherwise abusive. There is a heavy price to pay on one's well being and health staying around toxic people.
posted by nickyskye at 12:27 AM on October 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Damnit. This is exactly the sort of brutalizing masseuse I need in my life. My poor muscle tissue aches for this sort of skillfully directed abuse in a deeply fundamental way.

"Oh, yes, please, use your elbow. Climb on up and drill that useless bullshit right on out of there. Hey, can you put on a weight belt or something? You wouldn't happen to have any heavy-duty prybars, would you?"

Sweet Cthulhu. Not only would I never wake up with another tied up back or neck, I could probably touch my toes again. Heck, I could probably kiss them.
posted by loquacious at 12:29 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Massaging others is not a healthy way of releasing that kind of anger at all. Quite the reverse.

Shush, you. Let her have her coal of anger, for it is fuel - ostensibly for healing. A righteous anger can be a righteous energy.

Until I've actually allowed her to lay hands on me, personally, I'll refrain from further judgement - but comparatively I once knew a massuer with pretty strong, aggressive energy in what I'm interpreting is of a similar nature, and the guy was a frickin' genius. I'd only been worked on by him a few times in a casual, seated and clothed situation at house parties - drunk, no less, breaking all the rules, here - and by all that is Holy and Pure that man's elbows were Assasins of All That is Evil.

After 10 minutes in a chair I could actually grab my wrists behind my back and over my shoulders in both directions. Never have been able to before, or since.

And some of us need just that kind of amplified energy.
posted by loquacious at 12:38 AM on October 10, 2007


So, someone said something to Jenny that made her so mad she had to go into another room and cool off? Whoa. Sounds like a typical day on MetaFilter.
posted by fandango_matt at 12:39 AM on October 10, 2007


You take that back, fandango_matt!

*leaves room, calms down*

Man, that was close. You have no idea how close you were to death.
posted by graventy at 1:34 AM on October 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


I'm just back from ten hours in an office chair. My back is furious with me. I can't remember the last time such a short article has filled me with such envy. It's twenty 'til two here in Washington as I write this, and I want to crack the yellow pages to find me a pitiless masseuse that makes after-dark house calls.

Reckon I could find something similar in the skanky ads in the back of The Stranger, but I don't know how much good that'd be for my back.

Fun article - would have been better if the reporter wormed out the precise nature of the incident that broke the camel's back. I'll let it slide, though - sounds like he was distracted.
posted by EatTheWeak at 1:43 AM on October 10, 2007


Interesting, if true. Interesting still.
posted by Citizen Premier at 1:43 AM on October 10, 2007


Any chance of a quick rubdown, graventy?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:44 AM on October 10, 2007


I had committed such a heinous crime in my thoughts

I've committed adultery in my heart, many times.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 1:48 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


MetaFilter: Sounds like a typical day on MetaFilter.

YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
posted by loquacious at 1:51 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Sounds like neither Jenny nor the correspondent got a "release."
posted by rob511 at 2:41 AM on October 10, 2007


Guess he rubbed her the wrong way.
posted by dasheekeejones at 3:58 AM on October 10, 2007


I have a cousin who was a liscenced masseuse in NYC. She quit when she gave another woman a... uh... little more release than either had anticipated.

I remember her telling me the story shortly after it happened, I think before she had even processed what had gone on.

This story, was, uh, not like that. Which is maybe a little too bad.

I was going to link to "Desire and the Black Masseur" but damn if I can't find a copy of the text anywhere...
posted by From Bklyn at 5:05 AM on October 10, 2007


Jenny's story ought to be made into a movie. A woman is insulted, briefly considers murder, but instead opens a massage parlor. It's sort of like Erin Brockovich on Paxil.
posted by fandango_matt at 5:24 AM on October 10, 2007 [3 favorites]


Seems to me that the banality of being pissed and "boy, I coulda murdered that guy" was the point -- especially in contrast to the woman's claims.

It's a literary device, people.
posted by grubi at 5:45 AM on October 10, 2007


"I have a cousin who was a liscenced masseuse in NYC. She quit when she gave another woman a... uh... little more release than either had anticipated." From Bklyn.

That must have been one hell of a backrub! She should get back in the business.... people pay good money for that kind of stuff.
posted by Mastercheddaar at 5:52 AM on October 10, 2007


I thought it was stupid. The interweaving of the story of the massage with the story of the "almost murder" is cliched, The story is a huge letdown. I was expecting her to have gone to jail and gotten out and then started a massage parlor, not just getting really mad and then quitting her job.

Weak.
posted by delmoi at 6:03 AM on October 10, 2007


Didn't like her job, quit, found a better job. Good for her.

Now, who wants to massage my back? Anyone?
posted by triv at 6:12 AM on October 10, 2007


Oh my god my shoulders need so much work and this story just makes me want to cry for not being able to get one any time soon.
posted by Brainy at 6:29 AM on October 10, 2007


ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death...


She gives Swedish, Shiatsu and Shakespeare style.
posted by nickyskye at 7:04 AM on October 10, 2007


If that's what nearly murdered is, then I've nearly committed murder several times in my life. Most notably misogynistic or micro managing bosses (reason I'm not in IT right now or maybe again ever)That is just being really pissed off.

Sensationalistic much?

Hmm, maybe there's a "nearly jail," for that sort of thing.
posted by pywacket at 8:35 AM on October 10, 2007


The comments on this are hilarious.

You're skipping over grubi's contribution: It's a literary device, people.

I can expand on that: It's fiction. Though the fact that you're all sitting there going "oh, that wasn't cool, I got mad once! :(" pretty much highlights why it was written, I would guess.
posted by blacklite at 9:57 AM on October 10, 2007


Thank you, blacklite. It just appeared to be a story to me. Not a commentary or a news article.
posted by grubi at 10:00 AM on October 10, 2007


I've committed adultery in my heart, many times.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 3:48 AM on October 10


I'm doing it right now.

In fact, I'm not sure if I've ever not been doing it.
posted by Ynoxas at 10:54 AM on October 10, 2007


blacklite and grubi, I just wrote the author, Giles Turnbull, who replied promptly and said it's not fiction.
posted by nickyskye at 1:19 PM on October 10, 2007


Actually - I've had that 'vision turning red' experience. It's when I'm in a literally killing rage, and I've gone for the throat more than once - fortunately in the presence of people much larger than I. Not for many years - that's what anger management is for. It was an intensely frightening sensation, which I have no desire to ever experience again.

"Nearly murdered" is about accurate, in my opinion.
posted by ysabet at 7:25 PM on October 10, 2007


strange career choice for someone fed up with lewd comments from men, no?
posted by vaportrail at 6:34 PM on October 12, 2007


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