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I do not plan on voting for or against any US legislation not directly related to Texas Independence
October 10, 2007 9:03 AM   Subscribe

Texan Larry Kilgore is running for a seat in the US Senate. Agree or disagree with the man, he certainly has the courage of his convictions.
posted by dersins (45 comments total) 1 user marked this as a favorite

 
Enslave the Messicans! Go, Larry!
posted by yhbc at 9:11 AM on October 10, 2007


What are the skeletons in your closet?

From age 16 to 24 I dated and did not treat these ladies with respect.


LOL.
posted by delmoi at 9:14 AM on October 10, 2007


I like that his campaign website features similarly sized images of both the candidate, Kilgore, and a pile of bodies from the Holocaust. And those are the only two photos on the front page--now them's some Texas no-nonsense politics for ya'll!

Also:

The US has a history of invading sovereign nations and Texas is one of them. Texas National Guard troops should immediately be released from US conscription by the Governor.

Gotta love that attitude.
posted by dead_ at 9:17 AM on October 10, 2007


I do not plan on voting for or against any US legislation not directly related to Texas Independence.

Well, looks like me and Larry have some common ground there.
posted by RokkitNite at 9:19 AM on October 10, 2007


There are thousands of cracked-out candidates running for office. Loonies of all stripes do it. (Look at the list of candidates for president). I'm not sure what is particularly interesting about this nutjob.

Look at this guy! He talks funny and has odd ideas. I should FPP it!
posted by dios at 9:19 AM on October 10, 2007


What are the skeletons in your closet?

No mention of his years writing terrible sci-fi in porn magazines. Maybe he's just really proud of that.
posted by damn dirty ape at 9:22 AM on October 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


Is there something unusual about this particular Texan's views?

kidding
posted by psmealey at 9:22 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Look at this guy! He talks funny and has odd ideas. I should FPP it!

Too late.
posted by dersins at 9:29 AM on October 10, 2007


His issues list is awesome. It's like a secular ten commandments, each seasoned with fundamentalist dogma!

Tasty.
posted by butterstick at 9:30 AM on October 10, 2007


Too late.
posted by dersins at 11:29 AM on October 10


Ugg. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
posted by dios at 9:32 AM on October 10, 2007


Wow...this makes me very, very proud to live in Texas...
posted by DMan at 9:37 AM on October 10, 2007


LOLXIANS!
posted by quarter waters and a bag of chips at 9:42 AM on October 10, 2007


"Judges will flog those convicted of fornication; of public use of vulgar sexual and excretory language; of sexually suggestive dress or behavior; of intoxication; and of possession of pornography."

From what I've seen living here in Tejas, them judges are gonna get a real workout . . . hope they have plenty of whips!
posted by ahimsakid at 9:44 AM on October 10, 2007


Ugg. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

Another option would be to close the tab.
posted by DU at 9:45 AM on October 10, 2007


I don't LOL at Xians, as a rule. My mother's a minister, for fuck's sake. This guy-- well, he's an edge case, you have to admit.
posted by dersins at 9:45 AM on October 10, 2007


I'll not vote for anyone who attempts to win votes with logical fallacies.

I don't vote much.
posted by jeffamaphone at 9:47 AM on October 10, 2007


On this page linked from Kilgore's site, I'm wondering why Texas floats away and then disappears into the Bermuda Triangle.
posted by lukemeister at 9:51 AM on October 10, 2007


Another option would be to close the tab.

That's! Too! Hard! Must! Complain!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 9:52 AM on October 10, 2007


I sort of hope he does get elected, because he seems like such a perfect candidate for the eventual public men's room scandal.
posted by maryh at 9:56 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Undoubtedly, the coolest Presidential candidate is God Johan Josephe Lally, married to Virgin Mary John Lally Burtz.
posted by Aloysius Bear at 10:00 AM on October 10, 2007


I see he uses CafePress for his promotional material. I wonder if I can get this printed on a thong.
posted by felix betachat at 10:02 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Y'know, y'all are a bunch of texaphobes. P'raps I should go wrassle up a Metatalk post about that thing right thar.
posted by WolfDaddy at 10:02 AM on October 10, 2007


Undoubtedly, the coolest Presidential candidate is God Johan Josephe Lally, married to Virgin Mary John Lally Burtz.

He's got my vote.
posted by felix betachat at 10:09 AM on October 10, 2007


Larry received 50,119 votes in the 2006 GOP Gubernatorial Primary.

That's over 50,00 LOL xians.
posted by 2sheets at 10:11 AM on October 10, 2007


Another winner. Thanks for posting the list.
posted by podwarrior at 10:26 AM on October 10, 2007


mobactically speaking, he has a point.
posted by docpops at 10:44 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


Another winner. Thanks for posting the list.

Hey, he's already got a helmet, so he's got that going for him.
posted by doctor_negative at 10:53 AM on October 10, 2007


This is less LOLXIANS that it is OMFGXTIANS.
posted by Astro Zombie at 10:54 AM on October 10, 2007


In a weird way (minus all the god stuff) I think he is onto something about the public flogging. I could see NBC fighting for the TV rights to, "Friday Night FLogging". I bet it would kill American Idol in the ratings.
posted by hexxed at 10:56 AM on October 10, 2007 [1 favorite]


It is fun living here.
posted by Senator at 11:18 AM on October 10, 2007


We should allow Texas its independence, as long as it promises to take Oklahoma with it.
posted by mr_crash_davis at 11:27 AM on October 10, 2007


Look at this guy! He talks funny and has odd ideas. I should FPP it!

Ummm... yes, you should. MetaFilter is for posting funny links and not for constantly bitching about how you don't like links. You almost had it that time. Do we need to mail you another brochure?
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 11:39 AM on October 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


Oh. For a second I read the word "Kilgore" and automatically added "Trout" and got excited. This sucks.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 11:40 AM on October 10, 2007 [2 favorites]


If they could get over the whole "imaginary friend in the sky" thing, I'm sure this guy and Ahmadinejad would get along famously.
posted by sdswift at 11:44 AM on October 10, 2007


MetaFilter: constantly bitching about how you don't like links

But my real point is what's up with that "mobactically"?
posted by roofus at 11:56 AM on October 10, 2007


I have watched pornography on the TV and computer.

This pornography you speak of? Was there flogging involved, by any chance?
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:57 AM on October 10, 2007


You know who else used to run for office and had the courage of his convictions?
posted by Megafly at 12:38 PM on October 10, 2007


What a nutjob. I don't begrudge him his faith, religion, etc, but there is no way in hell that he will ever get elected, and he is truly wasting his time by running for public office.

And re: Texas secession -- hey, after living there for nearly 12 years and then finally escaping in 2002 -- GO FOR IT, Texas.

Maybe we can split California into two states to keep our number at 50.
posted by davidmsc at 1:04 PM on October 10, 2007


dios, Mercer (to whom you so graciously pointed us) has got my vote. Why? Because he's no crazier than the person you plan to vote for.
posted by telstar at 4:13 PM on October 10, 2007


Agree or disagree with the man
I'm going to have to go with "disagree".

Although I have to admit that guys like this make me sometimes wish that the South would finally get around to rising again.
posted by Flunkie at 4:29 PM on October 10, 2007


He's got my vote.

From God Johan Josephe's entry:
Favorite Food
Swiss cheese, apples christ bread wine.

Mine too! (vote. not food. ick!)
posted by ~ at 5:28 PM on October 10, 2007


What do you think of democracy?

Democracy and Terrorism: Two Faces Of The Same Evil.

posted by damnthesehumanhands at 7:19 PM on October 10, 2007


I live in Texas and I've never heard of this kook. A quick glance at his web site almost makes the incumbent Sen. Cornyn look good -- never thought I'd say something like that, either. Anyhow, I'll probably vote for Noriega.
posted by Robert Angelo at 8:31 PM on October 10, 2007


"Oh. For a second I read the word "Kilgore" and automatically added "Trout" and got excited. This sucks.
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 1:40 PM on October 10 [1 favorite +] [!]"


Oddly enough I to felt the same way. We used Kilgore Trout in college when we had to vote in an issue that we couldn't stand.

aah.. metasyntatic variables and democracy. good times.
posted by Sam.Burdick at 8:44 PM on October 10, 2007


How many days or weeks before he is outed as gay or one into bestiality, or one of the many 'vices' he rails against? I can hardly wait.
posted by Azaadistani at 11:48 PM on October 10, 2007


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