Windshield cowboy!

October 14, 2007 9:30 PM

Like a windshield cowboy... never ridden on a house says the guy from Mexico ... Vincente Fox also says Bush is "quite simply the cockiest guy I have ever met in my life". Interestingly though, around the world this story is reported differently. In India he is "petrified of horses", while Germany just says he's scared. It seems most American news just covers it as "doesn't like horses". As the real cowboys I grew up with would say "all hat, no horse".
posted by Kickstart70 (39 comments total)

could an admin pls fix my house/horse typo? I'm been working on house plans all day in Sketchup, so hopefully I can be forgiven.
posted by Kickstart70 at 9:33 PM on October 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

never ridden on a house says the guy from Mexico

I remember my first ride. 1000 sq ft 1920s bungalow. Rode that house through the streets of Tulsa.

Sadly, I'm just renting my duplex now, but I dream of saddling up my own foursquare Queen Anne.
posted by dw at 9:36 PM on October 14, 2007 [8 favorites]

Let's be fair, his cowboy credibility is just as authentic as Larry the Cable Guy's southern accent, ah reckon.
posted by Riki tiki at 9:37 PM on October 14, 2007

What will they call Bush in Paraguay?
posted by Poolio at 9:41 PM on October 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'm very impressed with these folksy put-downs. All my friends just call him a cunt.
posted by pompomtom at 9:47 PM on October 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

What a load of crap. Bush has been riding the White House for damn near 8 years.
posted by WolfDaddy at 9:53 PM on October 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'll use this weapon on that devil horse if I have to.
posted by Astro Zombie at 9:54 PM on October 14, 2007

Wait a minute! Isn't Bush the only one of the five children to talk with a Texas accent (even though he was born in Connecticut)?

All hat, all talk,

no horse.
posted by eye of newt at 10:05 PM on October 14, 2007 [2 favorites]

Heh, he's a Yankee poser, and ersatz photo op cowboy. He loves to dress in his Village people macho outfits and pose for the cameras. George W Bush ain't no cowboy.
posted by madamjujujive at 10:12 PM on October 14, 2007

the book also says Bush struts like he's "carrying a watermelon under each arm"

those ain't watermelons, buddy - didn't you see the hair on 'em?
posted by pyramid termite at 10:17 PM on October 14, 2007

I thought maybe the first link was going to be a parody of Glen Campbell's "Rhinestone Cowboy" (which is a very cool song, even though I'm not usually a fan of country music)... One of our talented Mefi musicians should write up some "Windshield Cowboy" lyrics for our little cowboy-in-chief.
posted by amyms at 10:27 PM on October 14, 2007

he's not a cowboy, he's a donkey - "You are a burro, Mr Danger"
posted by growabrain at 10:33 PM on October 14, 2007

yep, and every pop-country star exaggerates their southern accent too.
posted by scose at 10:38 PM on October 14, 2007

I googled for a picture of George Bush on a horse, and this was the only one I could find.
posted by amyms at 11:01 PM on October 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

all hat horseshit, no horse
posted by Brittanie at 11:09 PM on October 14, 2007

I heard he had a bad experience with a horse named Mr. Hands. Apparently there's a video.
posted by homunculus at 11:30 PM on October 14, 2007 [1 favorite]

Wait a minute! Isn't Bush the only one of the five children to talk with a Texas accent (even though he was born in Connecticut)?
Yup--Jeb certainly doesn't have anything like it.

I heard he had a bad experience with a horse named Mr. Hands.
I heard it was one of those 25-cent horsey rides in front of supermarkets. ; >
posted by amberglow at 11:42 PM on October 14, 2007

Mamas, don't let your cowboys grow up to be babies.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:56 PM on October 14, 2007 [3 favorites]

I'm really worried that in the post-bush era we are going to find that society's comedic muscles have atrophied after not having done any heavy lifting for so long.
posted by srboisvert at 2:21 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

The horse shot first.
posted by CautionToTheWind at 2:22 AM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Next time there's a motherfucking down-home cowboy running for president, someone get him near a horse so everyone can see the truth.

Pathetic. And sad, really – who the hell is scared of horses?

Let's run him down, boys.
posted by blacklite at 2:46 AM on October 15, 2007

Um, have you seen the size of a typical horse? If you aren't at least a little scared, then your sense of self-preservation is screwy (let's call it showing a healthy amount of respect if we have to).
posted by oddman at 3:59 AM on October 15, 2007

For once I agree with GWB, horses are assholes.
posted by cmonkey at 4:30 AM on October 15, 2007

It's such a pity too. Just think: if a photo op of him masterfully riding an Arabian stallion had been possible, there wouldn't be any trouble in Iraq. The symbolic power would've been far too potent!
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 4:33 AM on October 15, 2007

Um, have you seen the size of a typical horse? If you aren't at least a little scared, then your sense of self-preservation is screwy (let's call it showing a healthy amount of respect if we have to).
posted by oddman


Yeah, I'm careful around horses. But I don't wear cowboy boots, cowboy hats and try to talk with a Texas drawl.
posted by notreally at 4:40 AM on October 15, 2007

'We don't torture' = 'I am not a crook'
posted by i_am_a_Jedi at 4:49 AM on October 15, 2007

One of the strangest things to me is how this prissy, mealy-mouthed, Yalie fool *ever* put the "cowboy" image over on the US.
posted by spitbull at 5:47 AM on October 15, 2007 [1 favorite]

Will Farrell as a scared-of-horses Bush.
posted by kirkaracha at 6:15 AM on October 15, 2007

One of the strangest things to me is how this prissy, mealy-mouthed, Yalie fool *ever* put the "cowboy" image over on the US.

The Barnum Principle?
posted by rokusan at 7:15 AM on October 15, 2007

So it turns out that GWB is a blogger after all!
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 7:38 AM on October 15, 2007

eye of newt writes "Wait a minute! Isn't Bush the only one of the five children to talk with a Texas accent (even though he was born in Connecticut)? "

Well Bush II is hardly the first person in history to acquire an accent late in life. Aren't there several universities known for their own accents? The cowboy put on is much less offensive than the fighter jockey put on.
posted by Mitheral at 10:08 AM on October 15, 2007

Bush's accent is more authentic than the fake southern drawl that Hillary tried to use in one of her speeches.

Remember that? No? Here you go.
posted by tadellin at 12:00 PM on October 15, 2007

“Um, have you seen the size of a typical horse? If you aren't at least a little scared, then your sense of self-preservation is screwy”

Well...I just ride ‘em. So... I mean I’m not sure what we’re talking about here “size.”

I had a farty horse once. Kinda bothered me. I wasn’t scared, per se, but I did keep my distance when approaching from the rear. Always wanted to eat and roll over in the grass too. You have to be firm. I mean, you don’t have to club the horse or anything. But they don’t really know they’re more powerful than you. Plus they’re nostrils are huge. They can pretty much smell whatever it is you’re exuding. So if you’re afraid, they know it and it spooks them. If you’re sure of yourself, they plug into it pretty well, being herd animals and all.
I’m not a horse guy tho.(Disclaimer: IANAHG)

Weird, I’d think if anyone would be into horses it’d be Bush. I mean if you are sure of yourself, that carries pretty well. Although cocksure really doesn’t. If you’re just putting up a front but you’re sweating fear sweat Charlie (my old horse) will know it.
Still, Texas, man. Isn’t it like a law down there that you have to know how to ride? I’m just some dufus from Illinois. I ride with gym shoes on. No hat. The Amish guys laugh at me. Down there they’d probably shoot me (well, not the Amish, but y’know, rural folks). How does Bush live it down?
posted by Smedleyman at 12:02 PM on October 15, 2007

Bush's peace overtures are more authentic than the fake peace overtures that Hitler tried to use in one of his speeches.

Remember that? No? Here you go.
posted by Fezboy! at 12:34 PM on October 15, 2007

I guess this means Bush ain't one of the Four Horsemen.


...

Yay?
posted by Atreides at 3:15 PM on October 15, 2007

He's a cowboy, not a horseboy, you stupid fucking liberals.
posted by Citizen Premier at 9:09 PM on October 15, 2007 [2 favorites]

Citizen Premier said: He's a cowboy, not a horseboy...

Then the operative phrase would be "All hat and no cattle."
posted by amyms at 9:14 PM on October 15, 2007

Bush's accent is more authentic than the fake southern drawl that Hillary tried to use in one of her speeches.

Remember that? No? Here you go.
posted by tadellin at 12:00 PM on October 15

Uh, Hilary was clearly putting it on while openly reciting someone else's words. Bush puts it on while ostensibly reciting his own words that were written by someone else.

So are you saying you don't believe Bush's accent is cooked up?
posted by Mental Wimp at 3:44 PM on October 16, 2007

Did he really say "This is not my first rodeo" today? what an ass.
posted by amberglow at 7:41 PM on October 17, 2007