You got your pizza in my Happy Meal!

October 27, 2007 12:23 PM

You got your Happy Meal in my pizza!
posted by jonson (61 comments total)

Previously.
posted by champthom at 12:26 PM on October 27, 2007

original source of the photos, i think. Includes a money shot too.
posted by yeoz at 12:27 PM on October 27, 2007

I love the pistol, the knife and the measuring tape. And the Dr. Pepper. Don't forget the Dr. Pepper.
posted by ericb at 12:30 PM on October 27, 2007

That's the funniest thing I've seen since the opossum picture from yesterday.
posted by triggerfinger at 12:34 PM on October 27, 2007

That is awful. Pizza and McDonald's don't mix.
posted by daninnj at 12:43 PM on October 27, 2007

There are at least one place in Sweden where you can get a pizza and hamburger combination. In this case, a Calzone with a burger baked in. But then we have lot of weirds pizzas in Sweden. Such as pizza with döner kebab-meat or pizza with Bearnaise sauce on top...
posted by rpn at 12:55 PM on October 27, 2007

Fuck, that's 32 flavors of wrong, dawg.
posted by psmealey at 12:56 PM on October 27, 2007

The more i consider this, the better it sounds. That frightens me.

It is only a matter of time until the fast food mash up craze sweeps us all away on a wave of gelatinous cholesterol.

Yum.
posted by YFiB at 12:57 PM on October 27, 2007

But, will it blend?
posted by b1tr0t at 1:02 PM on October 27, 2007 [4 favorites]

Not much worse for you than pierogi pizza: mashed potatoes, onions sautéed in butter, cheddar cheese and bacon on a pizza shell.
posted by octothorpe at 1:07 PM on October 27, 2007

Alright, the Dr Pepper is there to wash it down with, and the gun is there to shoot yourself in the head after you finish, but someone will have to explain to me what the tape measure is for.

Also: Glasgow speciality, Deep Fried Mars Bar.
posted by afx237vi at 1:13 PM on October 27, 2007

I think I must be depressed or something, but that looks really, really good right now.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 1:16 PM on October 27, 2007 [2 favorites]

can we go back to the Ferran Adria discussion now please ?
posted by silence at 1:17 PM on October 27, 2007

The final picture, with the pistol and the finished pizza with the cheeseburger, melted cheese and fries, should become the official American flag.
posted by randomination at 1:18 PM on October 27, 2007 [32 favorites]

I, for one, am enjoying this End-Of-Western-Civilisation thing.
posted by spoobnooble at 1:47 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

Okay, my brain was saying this is so unappetizing and gross and wrong on all sorts of levels and my face was screwed up like I just ate a lemon as I looked at these pictures, but then as I was clicking away from the page (and even now as I type these words) I notice there is an inordinate amount of saliva I'm having to swallow down.

There is something unconscious about pizza and happymeal together on the same plate that is unmistakably feral, and answers some cavernous call from the id. Intellectually I'm apalled, but the baser instincts of Man crave this sort of thing. ...whut's up wit dat?

No wonder I'm so fat.
posted by ZachsMind at 1:49 PM on October 27, 2007 [4 favorites]

That slice with the half-cheeseburger sticking up like a mountain of artery-busting goodness? I want it. Now.
posted by languagehat at 1:49 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

I'd probably disassemble the burgers though.
posted by CitrusFreak12 at 1:51 PM on October 27, 2007

OMG that looked so goood. I think I just came a little.
posted by hojoki at 1:53 PM on October 27, 2007

Hey, my mom has those bowls.
posted by lampoil at 1:56 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

That's not a meal, it's a desperate cry for help.
posted by maryh at 2:01 PM on October 27, 2007 [7 favorites]

As a southerner, I take offense at that crack in the url. We in the south have wonderful cuisine and would never engage in anything resembling this delicious looking monstrosity, y'all.
posted by willie11 at 2:05 PM on October 27, 2007

@ lampoil--

Your mom has got big bowls.
posted by zerobyproxy at 2:12 PM on October 27, 2007

Willie11, I'm not sure if you're serious or not. But I'm both a Southerner and the person who owns the blog in the FPP. In the words of Florence King,

"Southerners have a genius for psychological alchemy.. If something intolerable simply cannot
be changed, driven away or shot they will not only tolerate it but take pride in it as well."

The South does stuff with fried fats that Satan himself couldn't think of. Might as well be proud of it, because I really can't get behind the Confederacy and the Dave Matthews Band.
posted by chinese_fashion at 2:14 PM on October 27, 2007 [5 favorites]

lampoil: i thought you wrote "my mom has those bowels."

which, if it had indeed been what you wrote, i would have favorited in a heartbeat.

"in a heartbeat" is a phrase that seems wholly out of place on this thread...
posted by CitizenD at 2:22 PM on October 27, 2007

Pizza!? now that's what I call a taco!
posted by jrb223 at 2:35 PM on October 27, 2007 [2 favorites]

Enh. A local pizza joint sells, among other things, a steak and fries pizza, covered with sandwich-sliced steak and what I think are Ore-Ida crinkle fries, which is quite good. I wouldn't try it with McD's toppings, but only because I wouldn't eat those things in the first place.

(And for those in the Madison area, I highly the recommend the new cheese tortellini/pesto slice.)
posted by aaronetc at 2:36 PM on October 27, 2007

Add some of these and I'm sold.
posted by palidor at 2:39 PM on October 27, 2007

I’m too particular about homemade pizza to settle for anything less than my own cold rise dough hand-stretched to thin perfection and topped with my marinara sauce made from organic tomatoes and fresh basil, oregano and garlic... and I haven’t eaten a hamburger in over 30 years. But something inside me wants one of those things.
posted by Huplescat at 2:44 PM on October 27, 2007

Tealights?
posted by mdonley at 2:55 PM on October 27, 2007

Is that what the world is coming to? McDonald's Happy Meal on a pizza?
posted by growabrain at 2:58 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

They should have made the crust out of hamburger buns, with all the other bits as toppings.

But then, of course you'd still have to wedge the whole pizza into a giant bacon cheeseburger, which itself would of course have to be battered and deep fried.

AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!
posted by loquacious at 3:01 PM on October 27, 2007

Fuck this shit.

I want a pizza topped with mini-pizzas.
posted by mullingitover at 3:04 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

I want pizza topped with mini-pizzas
posted by growabrain at 3:12 PM on October 27, 2007

Pizza topped with bagel bites!
posted by Mick at 3:19 PM on October 27, 2007

I'd hit that.

But then again, I'm happy to eat pretty much any take-out food on pizza.
posted by Greg Nog at 3:39 PM on October 27, 2007

Just saying... whoever did that knows how to bake a pizza. Even with the hamburger lumps, etc. under the cheese they got it just right. Its not easy to do that with a flat pizza.
posted by Huplescat at 3:51 PM on October 27, 2007

Not much worse for you than pierogi pizza: mashed potatoes, onions sautéed in butter, cheddar cheese and bacon on a pizza shell.

Perhaps its just that my polish nana used to make Pierogi all the time, but that one actually sounds pretty good too.

She also got me into fried braunschweiger sandwiches.

Couldnt get me into neckbones and saurkraut, tho. That shit is straight from the devil's taint.
posted by Senor Cardgage at 4:03 PM on October 27, 2007

I stopped eating at McDonald's because, well, it's a space-age polymer, but I still absolutely loved the taste of the McDonald's hamburger.

The entire bun and stuff is ridiculous, but I'd buy a pizza topped with McDonald's hamburger patties chopped up and myabe some of the special sauce in a heartbeat.

Which would then, of course, stop after I ate it.
posted by XQUZYPHYR at 4:03 PM on October 27, 2007 [1 favorite]

The Cosmic Cafe in Dallas makes a Pizza Mystica, which includes crumbled black bean burger as one of the toppings. It is so not like this.

I used to have the plates in the money shot pic. They were passed down from a step-parent. We finally broke the last one by throwing at a tree.
posted by found dog one eye at 4:03 PM on October 27, 2007

A few months ago, I was drinking margaritas and eating Mexican food, and casually remarked to my dining companion, "You know what would be awesome? Using a pizza as a dish on which you made nachos!" She agreed, but a few drinks later, I had all but forgotten my impossible dream.

Fast forward a couple of weeks. I'm walking with the same friend, and we stop in a place for a slice of pizza. Lo and behold right there, front and center on the counter, Nacho Pizza. God listens to our prayers.

This Mcdonalds pizza looks awesome as well, if a bit difficult to eat without making a big mess.
posted by billyfleetwood at 4:17 PM on October 27, 2007

Your mom has got big bowls.

Thank you. I hope to inherit them as my own one day.

My breasts, on the other hand, are already much bigger than hers.
posted by lampoil at 4:19 PM on October 27, 2007

I see a real future in fractal-like foods. The "all edge" brownie tray, recursive pizza-on-pizza concoctions, fractal-cut fries that maximize crisp-to-starch ratios, fractal-shaped cereals or cookies to facilitate interesting milk-interfacing properties.

It wont end until the successful implementation of the hypertaco, a crispy Americanized corn taco shell that manages to cram nearly 1000 square miles of crunchy, bland shell into a 6x6" cube, by way of a dimensional anomaly. Preparing and filling a single hypertaco requires the same amount of energy our sun puts out in a year, and involves the direct manipulation of dimensional manifolds through the use of a carefully controlled array of miniature black holes.
posted by loquacious at 4:41 PM on October 27, 2007 [10 favorites]

Thanks, lampoil. Sometimes a stupid pizza gets stuck in your head and you can’t shake it loose. Now I’m all back to normal and couldn’t care less about a frankenpizza.
posted by Huplescat at 4:50 PM on October 27, 2007

Behold the magical power of breasts!
posted by jonson at 4:54 PM on October 27, 2007

Somehow it made me think of Dafur.
posted by mattoxic at 5:03 PM on October 27, 2007

I laughed so hard at the McHappyPie tears came to my eyes. When I clicked on jrb223's YouTube link to Taco Town I watched, credulously, suprised how much like Samberg the curly-haired guy looked.

I've gained 20 pounds just from looking at this thread.
posted by mistersquid at 5:16 PM on October 27, 2007

But then we have lot of weirds pizzas in Sweden. Such as pizza with döner kebab-meat

Nova Scotia has a thing for donair meat on a pizza, too. The sauce is made from evaporated milk, vinegar, garlic powder and sugar. Mmm--mm!*

*For certain values of "Mmm--mm!", including "Mmm--mm -- oh my God, where's the washroom?"
posted by maudlin at 6:28 PM on October 27, 2007

If you've never been to the Cosmic Cafe and you are anywhere near Dallas... it's worth it.
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:33 PM on October 27, 2007

Ok, that's it. I'm vegetarian again.
posted by DenOfSizer at 6:34 PM on October 27, 2007

Years ago, there was a Japanese pizza menu photo that was a popular fark-like destination online. Pizzas with squid-ink sauce, mayonaise-like sauces, you name it, they had it.
posted by maxwelton at 6:34 PM on October 27, 2007

When I clicked on jrb223's YouTube link to Taco Town I watched, credulously, suprised how much like Samberg the curly-haired guy looked.

That's because it was Samberg. Taco Town was an SNL sketch.
posted by beaucoupkevin at 6:41 PM on October 27, 2007

that. is. AWESOME.
posted by fillsthepews at 7:16 PM on October 27, 2007

Mattoxic wants a taco.
posted by Huplescat at 7:21 PM on October 27, 2007

mattoxic wants to be sick

by
posted by mattoxic at 7:51 PM on October 27, 2007

Definitely should have broken up the burgers.

The gat's what makes it all so great - plus the 'quiz.'

The tape measure and the Dr. Pepper are probably there for scale. Either that or he's going to re-measure the length of his penis after eating the pizza.
posted by porpoise at 8:18 PM on October 27, 2007

I ate at Cosmic Cafe once since moving to Dallas over thirteen years ago. Once. Never again. I drive by the place semi-regularly. It's a cool looking house on Oak Lawn that looks like hippie gods barfed on it. The food is not fit for goats, but it is perfect for you if you're a health nut.

Of course, that was thirteen years ago, when I tried it, but something tells me my opinion of the place wouldn't change if I tried it again. God, I miss Mother Pearl's seafood. It was just down the street and you'd take a left. I had hoped to die of a heart attack while inside Mother Pearl's, eating Mahi Mahi fishsteaks and drinking beer while listening to Sonja Jevette sing about Tracy Chapman.
posted by ZachsMind at 8:37 PM on October 27, 2007

oh, burp!
posted by carmina at 9:28 PM on October 27, 2007

The tape measure is there, along with a stopwatch (not pictured) so you can see how much you are embiggened (and how quickly). The pistol is there so you can execute the chef for his culinary crime.

Meanwhile... often seen in these parts: baked ziti pizza. Kinda redundant, but chock-full of starchy starchy goodness.
posted by GrammarMoses at 6:41 AM on October 28, 2007

Mmmm, miniature black holes. (drool)
posted by moonshine at 10:03 AM on October 28, 2007

Also: Glasgow speciality, Deep Fried Mars Bar.

When I lived in Edinburgh for a while about 18 years ago, it was the deep-fried frozen mini-pizza that made me shake my head at the chip shops there. I've talked many times about those nasty things since, and only just recently realized how pedestrian they were compared to the Cuisine of Selfloathing these days.
posted by stavrosthewonderchicken at 6:04 PM on October 28, 2007