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October 28, 2007 9:59 AM Subscribe
A 400 year old clam has been slaughtered by ruthless 'scientists'. How much could this clam have told us about history, about longevity, about life? Probably not much--it's a clam.
So the Scientologists were right after all!
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:14 AM on October 28, 2007
posted by PeterMcDermott at 11:14 AM on October 28, 2007
I would eat the clam to gain its power over the ravages of age.
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:15 AM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
posted by Astro Zombie at 11:15 AM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
What's a 'scientist'? Is that different from a scientist?
posted by octothorpe at 11:18 AM on October 28, 2007
posted by octothorpe at 11:18 AM on October 28, 2007
He must have been bored.
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 11:19 AM on October 28, 2007
posted by kingfisher, his musclebound cat at 11:19 AM on October 28, 2007
I would eat the clam to gain its power over the ravages of age.
That's what I said to your mom.
posted by phaedon at 11:21 AM on October 28, 2007 [22 favorites]
That's what I said to your mom.
posted by phaedon at 11:21 AM on October 28, 2007 [22 favorites]
If science were able to develop an ageless chicken, which your family could nuture through the generations to a nice plump 400 year old chicken, would you eat it?
Hmm..... I bet that'd make a killer chicken parmesan.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:28 AM on October 28, 2007
Hmm..... I bet that'd make a killer chicken parmesan.
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:28 AM on October 28, 2007
What an intriguing discovery. Four hundred years for a fleshy creature is pretty damn impressive.
I imagine that when your home is an underwater rock in frigid waters, that four hundred years would seem like four million years.
Perhaps the scientists discovered purgatory.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:29 AM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
I imagine that when your home is an underwater rock in frigid waters, that four hundred years would seem like four million years.
Perhaps the scientists discovered purgatory.
posted by five fresh fish at 11:29 AM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
That's what I said to your mom.
It'll cost you twenty clams. Same as in town.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:30 AM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
It'll cost you twenty clams. Same as in town.
posted by horsewithnoname at 11:30 AM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
"You" meaning the future you kept alive for 400 years on a special diet of mineral water and vitamins, and living in a completely sterile and germ free environment, meaning you'd probably contract e-coli due to your weakened immune system upon eating said chicken
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:30 AM on October 28, 2007
posted by Dr-Baa at 11:30 AM on October 28, 2007
Methusellusc!
posted by No-sword at 11:37 AM on October 28, 2007 [13 favorites]
posted by No-sword at 11:37 AM on October 28, 2007 [13 favorites]
i was expecting a peta ad campaign. this is nowhere near as interesting as that would have been.
posted by andywolf at 11:42 AM on October 28, 2007
posted by andywolf at 11:42 AM on October 28, 2007
Ming Clambell?
posted by roofus at 11:43 AM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by roofus at 11:43 AM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
"Prof Richardson said the clam's discovery could help shed light on how some animals can live to extraordinary ages."
Extraordinary for whom? It's obviously not extraordinary for clams, so what's the big deal? The 'scientists' are just trying to steal the clam's thunder. Damned 'scentists.'
posted by SixteenTons at 11:49 AM on October 28, 2007
Extraordinary for whom? It's obviously not extraordinary for clams, so what's the big deal? The 'scientists' are just trying to steal the clam's thunder. Damned 'scentists.'
posted by SixteenTons at 11:49 AM on October 28, 2007
in soviet russia, 400-year-old-clam slaughters you!
posted by CitizenD at 11:53 AM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
posted by CitizenD at 11:53 AM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
What the hell is Nancy Grace doing off the coast of Iceland?
posted by phaedon at 11:54 AM on October 28, 2007 [4 favorites]
posted by phaedon at 11:54 AM on October 28, 2007 [4 favorites]
What the hell is Nancy Grace doing off the coast of Iceland?
Yelling at predator species, probably.
posted by ninjew at 11:59 AM on October 28, 2007
Yelling at predator species, probably.
posted by ninjew at 11:59 AM on October 28, 2007
I think that it is really exciting. The previous documented record was ~200yr, which isn't outrageous for other animals. Aging is something which happens the cellular and organismal level, and despite what you may think clams have some of the complex organized tissue that we need to study in animals. Another widely used aging model organism is yeast, which is even simpler. Still, the genes identified controlling yeast aging turned out to have related genes in mammals.
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by a robot made out of meat at 12:27 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
Ming Clambell?
indeed - they have similar levels of charisma!
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 12:31 PM on October 28, 2007
indeed - they have similar levels of charisma!
posted by the_very_hungry_caterpillar at 12:31 PM on October 28, 2007
Mom?
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by Astro Zombie at 12:38 PM on October 28, 2007
It is too bad they killed it because I would love to here the opinions of a 4 century old clam on young clams these days.
posted by srboisvert at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 12:39 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
or maybe "hear" but then I am just a stoopid youngin all filled with foolish errors yet to be made.
posted by srboisvert at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by srboisvert at 12:40 PM on October 28, 2007
This post is clammering for an editor.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:50 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 12:50 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
You may leave the Clam on the ocean floor
It's all the same to the Clam.
For a hundred thousand years or more,
It's all the same to the Clam.
You may bury him deep in mud or muck,
Or carry him round to bring you luck.
Or use him for a hockey puck.
It's all the same to the Clam.
You may call him Frank or Jim or Nell
It's all the same to the Clam.
Or make an ashtray from his shell.
It's all the same to the clam.
You may take him riding on a train
or leave him sitting in the rain.
You'll never hear the Clam complain.
It's all the same to the Clam.
Yes the world may stop or the world may spin
It's all the same to the Clam.
And the sky may come a fallin' in
It's all the same to the Clam.
And man may sing his endless songs,
of wronging rights and righting wrongs.
The Clam just sets - and gets along.
It's all the same to the Clam.
by Shel Silverstein
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
It's all the same to the Clam.
For a hundred thousand years or more,
It's all the same to the Clam.
You may bury him deep in mud or muck,
Or carry him round to bring you luck.
Or use him for a hockey puck.
It's all the same to the Clam.
You may call him Frank or Jim or Nell
It's all the same to the Clam.
Or make an ashtray from his shell.
It's all the same to the clam.
You may take him riding on a train
or leave him sitting in the rain.
You'll never hear the Clam complain.
It's all the same to the Clam.
Yes the world may stop or the world may spin
It's all the same to the Clam.
And the sky may come a fallin' in
It's all the same to the Clam.
And man may sing his endless songs,
of wronging rights and righting wrongs.
The Clam just sets - and gets along.
It's all the same to the Clam.
by Shel Silverstein
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 1:07 PM on October 28, 2007 [3 favorites]
This post is clammering for an editor.
That should be "clamoring" but I'll clam up now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:11 PM on October 28, 2007
That should be "clamoring" but I'll clam up now.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:11 PM on October 28, 2007
The clam, nicknamed Ming after the Chinese dynasty in power when it was born
Yeah, sure.
(I see others have made the "Ming Clambell" connection as well, but some context may be needed for most non-Brits to appreciate these scientists' involuntary/cruel (your choice) humour.)
posted by Skeptic at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2007
Yeah, sure.
(I see others have made the "Ming Clambell" connection as well, but some context may be needed for most non-Brits to appreciate these scientists' involuntary/cruel (your choice) humour.)
posted by Skeptic at 1:16 PM on October 28, 2007
slaughtered by ruthless 'scientists'
How shellfish if them.
posted by carter at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
How shellfish if them.
posted by carter at 1:17 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
A 400 year old clam has been slaughtered
Bye valve! So long!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2007 [5 favorites]
Bye valve! So long!
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:19 PM on October 28, 2007 [5 favorites]
CHOW-DAH! SAY IT! SAAAAY IT!
posted by loquacious at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by loquacious at 1:26 PM on October 28, 2007
33 comments and no one's linked to NoFX [ignore stupid video]? Metafilter, you should be ashamed of yourself!
posted by nasreddin at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by nasreddin at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2007
If the clam was that old, it must have been bearded.
Mmmm, bearded clam.
posted by jonmc at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2007
Mmmm, bearded clam.
posted by jonmc at 1:29 PM on October 28, 2007
"...could offer insights into the secrets of longevity."
Keep very still and quiet?
posted by pracowity at 1:43 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
Keep very still and quiet?
posted by pracowity at 1:43 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
Vintage Clamato, anyone?
posted by Reggie Digest at 3:11 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by Reggie Digest at 3:11 PM on October 28, 2007
"If this is the secret of old age, then you can keep it. Remember instead the words of Sir Clement Freud, who once remarked: 'If you give up smoking, drinking and loving, you don’t actually live longer – it just seems like it.'"*
posted by ericb at 3:21 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by ericb at 3:21 PM on October 28, 2007
with these for a nosh
I've had 'em. They taste kind of like a crunchy Bloody Mary
posted by jonmc at 3:21 PM on October 28, 2007
I've had 'em. They taste kind of like a crunchy Bloody Mary
posted by jonmc at 3:21 PM on October 28, 2007
So the Scientologists were right after all!
i didn't get the reference, but upon Googling it I know have a better understanding of PeterMcDermott's reference.
posted by ericb at 3:26 PM on October 28, 2007
i didn't get the reference, but upon Googling it I know have a better understanding of PeterMcDermott's reference.
posted by ericb at 3:26 PM on October 28, 2007
*I didn't get* | *I now have *
Where the fuck is the "clamored-for" editor when you need him/her?
posted by ericb at 3:29 PM on October 28, 2007
Where the fuck is the "clamored-for" editor when you need him/her?
posted by ericb at 3:29 PM on October 28, 2007
BTW -- later tonight/tomorrow morning the Colorado Rockies may be indeed be wishing they could have won some New England clam chowda'!
posted by ericb at 3:31 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by ericb at 3:31 PM on October 28, 2007
"You just said the magic word."'Elvis in Clambake.'
"Clambake?"
"Yeah."
posted by ericb at 3:35 PM on October 28, 2007
Do the Clam, do the Clam
Grab your barefoot baby by the hand
Turn and tease, hug and squeeze
Dig right in and do the Clam
Dig right in and do the Clam
posted by Floydd at 4:00 PM on October 28, 2007
Grab your barefoot baby by the hand
Turn and tease, hug and squeeze
Dig right in and do the Clam
Dig right in and do the Clam
posted by Floydd at 4:00 PM on October 28, 2007
The link itself is okay, I guess. But everything else about the post is crap. I don't see anywhere in the article where it says that they killed the clam. And, of course, the article talks about how much can be learned from the clam about longevity. If hexatron's commentary had actually been, you know, funny, it might be excusable.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:17 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:17 PM on October 28, 2007
I tried to order some clams in a Vietnamese restaurant last night but they were out so I had to slaughter some mussels instead.
posted by Cyrano at 4:18 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by Cyrano at 4:18 PM on October 28, 2007
Apparently, Pismo Beach is the clam capital of the world.
I didn't even know they had a government.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:23 PM on October 28, 2007
I didn't even know they had a government.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 4:23 PM on October 28, 2007
How much could this clam have told us about history, about longevity, about life?
I think he would have just clammed up to be honest... bdum tish!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2007
I think he would have just clammed up to be honest... bdum tish!
posted by fearfulsymmetry at 5:05 PM on October 28, 2007
Apparently, Pismo Beach is the clam capital of the world.
Damn, shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
posted by octothorpe at 5:09 PM on October 28, 2007
Damn, shouldn't have taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
posted by octothorpe at 5:09 PM on October 28, 2007
He that breaks a thing to find out what it is has left the path of wisdom.
-Gandalf
posted by dirtdirt at 5:26 PM on October 28, 2007
-Gandalf
posted by dirtdirt at 5:26 PM on October 28, 2007
I don't see anywhere in the article where it says that they killed the clam.
The clam is referred to in the past tense throughout the article.
And for the record, when people kill some individual thing that has been getting along well enough for several hundred years, it sort of makes me irritable.
But sometimes it ends on a happier note.
posted by humannaire at 6:23 PM on October 28, 2007
The clam is referred to in the past tense throughout the article.
And for the record, when people kill some individual thing that has been getting along well enough for several hundred years, it sort of makes me irritable.
But sometimes it ends on a happier note.
posted by humannaire at 6:23 PM on October 28, 2007
“The clam is referred to in the past tense throughout the article.”
I suppose that by throughout you mean “once”. And the headline refers to it in the present tense.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:37 PM on October 28, 2007
I suppose that by throughout you mean “once”. And the headline refers to it in the present tense.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 6:37 PM on October 28, 2007
I try to break a clam at least weekly, but sometimes, sometimes the clam misses and breaks me.
posted by Socks Manly at 7:00 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by Socks Manly at 7:00 PM on October 28, 2007
I could kill a 400 year old clam by licking it to death over a span of four hours.
That's right, ladies. Call me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:53 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
That's right, ladies. Call me.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:53 PM on October 28, 2007 [2 favorites]
405 years. Submerged off the coast of Iceland, living in the depths with no hint of the comings and goings of man. If I could live to be a hundred I'd only have a quarter of the time of this humble bivalve. Sobering.
posted by nola at 8:39 PM on October 28, 2007
posted by nola at 8:39 PM on October 28, 2007
400 years without taking a shit.
Glad I'm not a clam.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:17 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
Glad I'm not a clam.
posted by Afroblanco at 10:17 PM on October 28, 2007 [1 favorite]
405 years. Submerged off the ocast of Iceland, living in the depths with no hint of the comings and goings of man. If I could live to be a hundred I'd only have a quarter of the time of this humble bivalve.
But my shtick would be perfect.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:13 AM on October 29, 2007
But my shtick would be perfect.
posted by From Bklyn at 5:13 AM on October 29, 2007
This article (linked in another post) makes clear the fact that the scientists killed the clam as part of their examination.
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:46 PM on October 29, 2007
posted by Ethereal Bligh at 2:46 PM on October 29, 2007
400 years without taking a shit. Glad I'm not a clam.
If you truly believe four hundred years is too long to go without a poo, I'm afraid you're really not going to enjoy being dead.
(Nor will the poor quahog.)
posted by Reggie Digest at 4:07 PM on October 29, 2007
If you truly believe four hundred years is too long to go without a poo, I'm afraid you're really not going to enjoy being dead.
(Nor will the poor quahog.)
posted by Reggie Digest at 4:07 PM on October 29, 2007
I suppose that by throughout you mean “once”. And the headline refers to it in the present tense.
1. A clam dredged up off the coast of Iceland is thought to have been the longest-lived animal discovered.
2. Scientists said the mollusc, an ocean quahog clam, was aged between 405 and 410 years and could offer insights into the secrets of longevity.
3. The clam, nicknamed Ming after the Chinese dynasty in power when it was born, was in its infancy when Queen Elizabeth I was on the throne and Shakespeare was writing plays such as Othello and Hamlet.
...but thanks for playing!
posted by humannaire at 8:39 AM on October 31, 2007
1. A clam dredged up off the coast of Iceland is thought to have been the longest-lived animal discovered.
2. Scientists said the mollusc, an ocean quahog clam, was aged between 405 and 410 years and could offer insights into the secrets of longevity.
3. The clam, nicknamed Ming after the Chinese dynasty in power when it was born, was in its infancy when Queen Elizabeth I was on the throne and Shakespeare was writing plays such as Othello and Hamlet.
...but thanks for playing!
posted by humannaire at 8:39 AM on October 31, 2007
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posted by dhammond at 11:12 AM on October 28, 2007 [4 favorites]