Comments on: Bicycles

Bicycles

phrontist — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 10:45:37 -0800

"Every time I see an adult on a bicycle, I no longer despair for the future of mankind" - H.G. Wells

By: LeLiLo

LeLiLo — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 10:49:49 -0800

He is not the first man to be convicted of a sexual offence involving an inanimate object, however. Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs, in 1993. I was just emailing my cyclist friend in Scotland about this. He claims a) he has not yet had sex with his bicycle, and b) the guy who had sex with pavement just wanted to see how the asphalt.

By: nonreflectiveobject

nonreflectiveobject — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 10:53:38 -0800

One of these links is not like the others.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:05:15 -0800

Sexual breach of the peace. When the maid used a key to enter his locked room. Case closed, your honor.

By: DU

DU — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:06:50 -0800

Doctors found that Mangetout's stomach lining is twice as thick as a normal stomach lining, which explains why he is able to digest these things. The implication being that many people TRY to eat TVs and airplanes, but find their stomachs can't take it?

By: GuyZero

GuyZero — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:11:36 -0800

Yeah, I think they got cause and effect reversed there.

By: Mastercheddaar

Mastercheddaar — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:26:52 -0800

What a lame mutate ability.....

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:37:57 -0800

In other news, area man arrested for having sex with his right hand. Seriously, where is the line drawn?

By: Maias

Maias — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 11:43:36 -0800

Why isn't a man allowed to have sex with a consenting bicycle in the privacy of his own hotel room?

By: Shfishp

Shfishp — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:06:15 -0800

If he had sex with a unicycle, would it have been considered masturbation, and therefore, been ok?

By: Kirth Gerson

Kirth Gerson — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:15:53 -0800

Won't someone think of the tricycles?

By: Citizen Premier

Citizen Premier — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:22:23 -0800

Most bicycles don't have the mental capacity or maturity to consent to sex.

By: mr_crash_davis

mr_crash_davis — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:22:46 -0800

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex." He would've gotten away with it too, if it weren't for those pedaling kids. -or- He would've had more success if the bike hadn't been a fixie.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:27:59 -0800

Why isn't a man allowed to have sex with a consenting bicycle in the privacy of his own hotel room? It's a gateway thing. They start off in the privacy of their hotel rooms, but before you know it, they're out on the high street with special sniffing equipment, inhaling the seat odours of any random bike that happens to be chained to a lamppost. Much better to nip it in the bud.

By: PeterMcDermott

PeterMcDermott — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 12:31:41 -0800

And of course, this guy started off making love to bicycles and look where he ended up.

By: everichon

everichon — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:00:27 -0800

I want to see Chris Hanson impersonate a bicycle online, to lure these deviants to their doom on television. I we can even save ONE BICYCLE from abuse, it'll be worth it.

By: bassjump

bassjump — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:40:16 -0800

How do you know the bicycle was consenting? Just because he took a seat....

By: From Bklyn

From Bklyn — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 13:53:43 -0800

Two things I never thought of doing to a bicycle. Though I have done both on a bicycle. That's right I'm bragging. And lying.

By: The Light Fantastic

The Light Fantastic — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:13:04 -0800

There's a sex offenders list of people who molest bicycles?

By: rob511

rob511 — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 16:32:57 -0800

Wayne and Garth say, "SCHWINN!"

By: Falconetti

Falconetti — Wed, 31 Oct 2007 18:59:01 -0800

I don't fuck tykes and I don't fuck trikes. The end.

By: QuarterlyProphet

QuarterlyProphet — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 05:49:33 -0800

Who's explaining to me what's the relationship between the first link and th last two?

By: CitrusFreak12

CitrusFreak12 — Thu, 01 Nov 2007 08:40:15 -0800

Who's explaining to me what's the relationship between the first link and th last two? ...Bicycles.