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November 3, 2007 7:20 PM   Subscribe

Stimulating and enthralling pictures about sex. (NSFW)

Don't miss the penile response diagram (it's almost porn!) or the useful and titillating chart detailing abnormal forms of sexual differentiation.

There's plenty of practical resources, too.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America (71 comments total) 12 users marked this as a favorite

 
Aww, somebody just had his first Sex Ed class.
posted by dhammond at 7:33 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Barf.
posted by HotPatatta at 7:38 PM on November 3, 2007


THANKS.
posted by chasing at 7:46 PM on November 3, 2007


Charts like these are so stupid I'm not even sure where to begin.

THANK GOD THERE WAS A CHART!!!
posted by SassHat at 7:46 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Oh man, thank you, that cleared some things up.
posted by marxchivist at 8:06 PM on November 3, 2007 [4 favorites]


False advertising! Uncool, dude.
posted by psmealey at 8:12 PM on November 3, 2007


Hawt.
posted by ColdChef at 8:13 PM on November 3, 2007


"stimulating"?

If by "stimulating" you mean "totally clinical and un-erotic", then yes, these pics are stimulating.
posted by zardoz at 8:13 PM on November 3, 2007


I meant stimulating to the mind, like this chart of the functions of the female reproductive structures.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:21 PM on November 3, 2007


Why would this be done?
posted by phrontist at 8:23 PM on November 3, 2007


Needs more breasts, less self-examination.
posted by Avenger at 8:23 PM on November 3, 2007


Found it!
posted by Jilder at 8:24 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


Why would this be done?

Presumably to aid in the removal of that coconut. The real question is how the coconut got in there to begin with.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:28 PM on November 3, 2007 [13 favorites]


phrontist: Assuming you're not joking, they are cutting the perineum (As mentioned here!) to prevent tearing and related difficulties from occuring during childbirth. Trimming the taint, so to speak.
posted by Alvy Ampersand at 8:30 PM on November 3, 2007


Not only were those suitable for work, they'd even be suitable for your next primary school project.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 8:35 PM on November 3, 2007


That's clearly a Creme Egg there, Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America, though I believe your question still stands.
posted by motty at 8:37 PM on November 3, 2007


I would like to more about Bartholin and Skene!
posted by bonefish at 8:38 PM on November 3, 2007


Are we missing some info here?
And female masturbation tops out at fifty percent? No way, Josée.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:42 PM on November 3, 2007


It's easier to stitch a clean cut than a tear, phrontist.
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 8:44 PM on November 3, 2007


Caspar Bartholin the Younger was a Danish anatomist from 17th century. Alexander Skene was a Scottish gynecologist from the 19th century.

It's unclear how Bartholin overlooked Skene's gland, since it's right above his gland! What a doofus.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 8:48 PM on November 3, 2007


Where is the 9 volt battery?
posted by Tube at 8:50 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


Phrontist, that is done so as to reduce/prevent tearing during childbirth. I couldn't tell you if it has been working out or not.

As an aside, the woman who bore my child (and now claims I missed it so as to have an affair) had an episiotomy done while I observed. After that, they applied a suction cup to my child's head and pulled him out thusly. It was beyond disturbing to see my child's head sucked into a clear plastic thingamabob and then pulled free of the vagina holding it back, but that's what occured. After that, I cut the cord. Good times.

Childbirth is a fairly disturbing ordeal. I think (hope!) it explains a good deal of the insanity we see on this planet.
posted by Pogo_Fuzzybutt at 9:06 PM on November 3, 2007


Episiotomy is considered a largely unnecessary procedure and certainly unnecessary when performed routinely. While it may indeed be easier for a doctor to stitch a clean cut than a tear, think about the last time you cut yourself with a razor blade or very sharp kitchen knife: it bleeds longer and takes longer to heal, because the wound has less surface area to reconnect itself along. It's another example of a modern convenience that's only convenient for doctor, not patient.
posted by InnocentBystander at 9:13 PM on November 3, 2007 [4 favorites]


I like how that guy's boner turns black as he gets hard.

Also: hairy balls!
posted by papakwanz at 9:37 PM on November 3, 2007


It's a spaceship!
posted by papakwanz at 9:41 PM on November 3, 2007 [2 favorites]


It's all about perineal massage. Fuck episiotomies.
posted by padraigin at 9:55 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


Episotomies are the new briss.
posted by Fupped Duck at 10:07 PM on November 3, 2007


ooh! OH! OW!!
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:39 PM on November 3, 2007


I'm very happy to know that the Internal Sexual & Reproductive Organs (F) chart includes the anus and the rectum, depite her protests.
posted by LordSludge at 10:45 PM on November 3, 2007 [1 favorite]


*savagely pegs LordSludge*
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 10:51 PM on November 3, 2007


Pictures about animal sex.
posted by zennie at 10:53 PM on November 3, 2007


InnocentBystander, please. Tears during vaginal delivery can be very unpredictable, and among the reasons for an episiotomy are to pre-empt an inevitable tear and reclaim the situation with some degree of control. Uncontrolled tears have the potential to tear right down to the anus and divide the anal sphincter, leading to long-term faecal incontinence. Most episiotomies done these days (in Australia, not sure about the USA) cut slightly away from the anus so if a tear does occur it won't tear straight down.

You're right that it is generally easier to suture an incision than a tear, but I'd suggest you re-read the wound healing section of your pathology textbook. While experienced obstetricians or surgeons can usually get a good result from suturing unexpected tears, on average healing takes longer, the results aren't as good, and there are more complications. Anyway, doctors aren't afraid of suturing tears -- even after labours where an episiotomy has been performed there are sometimes tears of the vulva or inside the vaginal canal.

Episiotomies used to be overdone, and there is certainly no place for routine episiotomies. The WHO say that 1 episiotomy in 10 vaginal deliveries (of course, those will be in selected patients) is about the right number. For all women, obstetricians should use good technique to avoid unnecessary procedures. But the idea that it's some sort of time-saving measure is insulting and incorrect.
posted by teem at 10:54 PM on November 3, 2007


I also call bullshit on the maximum of 50% of females indulge in the delights of self-gratification. If that's even close to being true, why?
posted by maxwelton at 11:03 PM on November 3, 2007


Repeating weapons-grade pandemonium's question, does anybody know what the a) and b) in the Frequency of Intercourse, Married Couples chart refer to?
posted by switchsonic at 11:10 PM on November 3, 2007


I'm drunk and confused about the time, and you, Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America, are very mean for getting my hopes up like that! Now I have to actually look for porn. Or maybe I'll just fall asleep?
posted by prosthezis at 11:39 PM on November 3, 2007


Actually, I learned a bunch of things. Thanks for the post Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America.

Years ago the Wall Street Journal did an article on what were the basic ingredients in a successful intimate relationship and they were passion, intimacy and commitment. It was amusing to see what the different ratios were for men and women. Like men wanted 60% sexual passion, thought 20% intimacy was time spent together doing something and 20% was sticking the marriage out and her not cheating. Women thought it was 10% sexual passion, 60% intimacy, which they experienced as talking together and 30% commitment which meant no cheating.

The article said that 10% sexual passion was a must, whatever the rest of the % turned out to be.
posted by nickyskye at 11:55 PM on November 3, 2007


I'm drunk and confused about the time, and you, Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America, are very mean for getting my hopes up like that!

I did say pictures about sex, not of sex. Anyway, I'll make it up to you. Here's some real pornography. (NSFW)
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 12:06 AM on November 4, 2007


is this kind of like looking up "shit" in the dictionary?
posted by caddis at 12:08 AM on November 4, 2007


I did say pictures about sex, not of sex. Anyway, I'll make it up to you. Here's some real pornography. (NSFW)

Yes, about sex. My imagination got away from me. Luckily though, my imagination got away from me. Now that I'm sleepy, I forgive you, or my misinterpretation of you, or whatever even if one of those links is a 403.
posted by prosthezis at 12:17 AM on November 4, 2007


is this kind of like looking up "shit" in the dictionary?

Everyone knows the good stuff is in the encyclopedia.
posted by StrangerInAStrainedLand at 12:23 AM on November 4, 2007


I find the lack of details of the male equipment interesting. I see no mention of the prostate, for example. Given the nature of all the female illustrations, I'd have expected equal detail for men. It's not like the prostate doesn't kill a bunch of us.
posted by Goofyy at 3:05 AM on November 4, 2007


teem writes "But the idea that it's some sort of time-saving measure is insulting and incorrect."

Oh it's not about time, it's about money. In my country, Obstetricians are routinely accused of practicing unnecessary c-sections because they are more lucrative. I don't have statistics to demonstrate the claim they are routinely overdone, nor that the doctor isn't being pressured by "powers that be" to do something entirely avoidable and introducing unnecessary dangers : but I believe that is what is almost routinely going on anywhere the income of the doctor/hospital can significantly benefit from some practices that are NOT necessarily the most cost effective and less risky for the patient.

And I believe that because , as in any field of knowledge, one is always going to pay ingnorance dearly ; combine that with the news to the mother that doing the c-section may "significantly decrease risks connected to childbirth" expecially on a mother with zero concept about statistics and these are billions and what you have is, as it is called in the elite circle, a "sure sale easy money"
posted by elpapacito at 3:26 AM on November 4, 2007


what's this all about?
posted by chuckdarwin at 4:17 AM on November 4, 2007


Ah, beloved HPG axis. The hypothalamus, pituitary (hypophysis), and gonads produce hormones that regulate each other and the reproductive system, allowing the different phases of development through life, cyclical changes, and pregnancy.
posted by zennie at 4:34 AM on November 4, 2007


Repeating weapons-grade pandemonium's question, does anybody know what the a) and b) in the Frequency of Intercourse, Married Couples chart refer to?

a) frequency of sex for individuals (or couples?) who are not married

b) frequency for individuals (or couples?) who are married

Although, this data is contentious and varies by location. A little more info here: Marital Sex - Sexual Frequency
posted by ahughey at 4:35 AM on November 4, 2007


Even better, the following is the caption to the frequency chart, emphasis mine:
Figure 3.6 Two hypothetical graphs of the frequency of intercourse for common-law couples in a sample. In both, the average frequency is about three times per week, but in (a) there is little variability (almost everyone has a frequency between two and four times per week), whereas in (b) there is great variability (the frequency ranges from zero to 15 or more times per week). The graph for most sexual behaviour looks like (b), with great variability.


This chart is used to illustrate some of the statistical concepts used in sex behavior research including frequency and average.
posted by ahughey at 4:49 AM on November 4, 2007


Not really what I was expecting. But then again, neither is most of my email in my inbox.
posted by Football Bat at 4:55 AM on November 4, 2007


Goofyy, on the second page and I think one or two other images depict the prostate.
posted by nickyskye at 7:47 AM on November 4, 2007


It's nice that the Grafenburg-spot hand-model guy is working the thumb.
posted by nicwolff at 8:51 AM on November 4, 2007


Ugh. Shave that thang!
posted by wfc123 at 10:03 AM on November 4, 2007


Ugh. Shave that thang!

yikes, What is it with shaving pubes?
posted by nickyskye at 9:39 AM on November 4, 2007


nickyskye: "yikes, What is it with shaving pubes?"

Indeed. I'm not against it or anything, but it keeps astonishing me how people (women and men) these days care so much.

Let the derail commence!
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 10:13 AM on November 4, 2007


The debate boils down to "pubes are gross" v. "pubes are not gross, and getting rid of them is a pain, so fuck you, pal" v. "I'm not fucking you with those nasty-ass pubes, I'm not" v. "I meant figuratively, and get out of my bed."

It's an impasse, the way I see it.
posted by Mr. President Dr. Steve Elvis America at 10:29 AM on November 4, 2007


I think dudes who are super anti ladyfur are projecting. Yall are hairier than we are, for the most part, and not usually regarded as holding the aesthetic achievement in genitalia design honors. So, wax your balls and get back to me on it.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 11:14 AM on November 4, 2007 [3 favorites]


I know I shouldn't have clicked on this one, but I couldn't help myself.
posted by essexjan at 1:08 PM on November 4, 2007


not usually regarded as holding the aesthetic achievement in genitalia design honors

Normally I would point out here that the puss, God love it, looks like something out of Lovecraft, and with hair, it looks like something out of Lovecraft wearing a toupée. But given the lovingly-rendered scrotal mullet in the penile-response diagram that Mr. Dr. Elvis POTUS linked to up top, I'll allow this.
posted by nicwolff at 1:16 PM on November 4, 2007


Ugh. Shave that thang!

There's something sad about straight men that don't love pussy. And that is what pussy looks like.
posted by ROU_Xenophobe at 2:04 PM on November 4, 2007 [2 favorites]


I was planning to have sex today but after seeing that...not so much.

I feel like a meat eater who has just had his first tour of a slaughterhouse. I don't wanna know how's it done, I just want to eat it.
posted by MiltonRandKalman at 3:18 PM on November 4, 2007


essexjan, see I liked clicking on the penis structure one. What's inside that thing, was what I was wondering. And I learned the lovely word for the ridge around the glans, the corona. Always liked the word for the underside of a penis near the glans, the frenulum. Sounds somewhere between pendulum and ruffle.

"scrotal mullet"

nicwolff , ha! That's to laugh. :) See, I always liked the look of the hangdoggedy male pouch. Kind of endearingly wrinkled in the way a Bloodhound's or Shar Pei' s face is charming. Snuggleworthy.

The female orifice is visually more of a complex adventure. :) Always wondered what men who liked female parts thought of it. Can't help thinking what's muff diving without a muff?

Was surprised in the Floramagica MetaFilter post how so few males liked the look of the vulva (often mistakenly called vagina).
posted by nickyskye at 3:27 PM on November 4, 2007


I never saw that post before nickyskye, but Georgia O'Keefe did it so much better, and she was a hottie (NSFW) in her own right.
posted by caddis at 3:45 PM on November 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


Discussions of vulvas being ugly always make me scratch my head, not only because straight guys "should" like them or whatever, but because I only know one from firsthand experience, and it's not lovecraftian, it's purty. So I went to google, wondering if more look like mine, or otherwise, and searched for "vulva." Mein Gott. It all makes sense now.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur at 4:14 PM on November 4, 2007


teem, I've never, ever, ever heard of a fourth-degree perineal tear occurring in a woman who birthed without an episiotomy. They are far more likely to occur due to an episiotomy or episiotomy scar. Sheesh.
posted by InnocentBystander at 4:17 PM on November 4, 2007


Seeing that I'm in round three w/ issues of the mammary kind, it's nice to know I'm in the 50% percent range for breast cancer. Nice way to brighten up my Sunday, asshole.

Thank god I just came back from a 350 varieties of wine, tasting. I wouldn't have gotten through my day.
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:45 PM on November 4, 2007


Why would this be done?
posted by phrontist at 8:23 PM on November 3 [+] [!]

Because some dude thinks that a baby's head wouldn't fit. The same dude who thought that infertilty tests should involve the following:

Hystersalyingpingogram (HSG). They put a catheter through your cervix and inject dye. The dye moves through the tubes. If they don't, then you have blockage. Some docs will give you a licocaine shot in the cervix. Doesn't that sound like fun? If clear, it's just supposed to be uncomfortable like mild cramps or nothing at all. If you have blockage, then kiss the floor because it's supposed to kill.

Sonohystergram (SHG). Let's do everything like the HSG but use saline. The purpose is to fill your uterus with fluid to take a more accurate ultrasound. Shows fibroids and lining malformations. Supposed to be less painful for HSG. Doens't sound it to me.

Hysterscope. Now this one is supposed to be the most fun. They dialate your cervix, stick a scope in it, blow air in your uterus to see inside. They may do a biopsy to boot. Yea, nothing like baby scissors shoved up a woman and taking a bite.

For the most part, all is done without anesthesia. Hysterscope is your only chance of maybe having anesthesia. They recommend fucking ASPIRIN before all procedures. Big fucking deal.

So I think I'll take an episiotomy anyday than dye up my yin yang.
posted by dasheekeejones at 4:48 PM on November 4, 2007


Nulliparous - what a fantastic word.

"Yonder there! Mark how pleasingly nulliparous this vagina is!"
posted by icosahedral at 4:57 PM on November 4, 2007 [1 favorite]


dasheekeejones, the 50% refers to the percent of cancers that occur in that part of the breast as compared with other parts.

And you're right about the pain of those procedures.
posted by nickyskye at 5:12 PM on November 4, 2007


Seeing that I'm in round three w/ issues of the mammary kind, it's nice to know I'm in the 50% percent range for breast cancer. Nice way to brighten up my Sunday, asshole.


????????????????
posted by caddis at 5:34 PM on November 4, 2007


omg, kiddie pr0n!
posted by sexyrobot at 6:12 PM on November 4, 2007


Cop gets an anatomy lesson.
posted by nickyskye at 2:55 AM on November 5, 2007


Japanese anatomy lesson, pregnant anime [nsfw].
posted by nickyskye at 3:14 AM on November 5, 2007


Razor burn, stubble, and in-grown hairs are not in improvement over au natural.
posted by maxwelton at 5:31 PM on November 5, 2007


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